Chapter Five: The Monumental Fifth Chapter
At Party City With Fishy and Dottie
Two girls walked out of the store. The manager chased after them, yelling.
Fishy: Go go go!
Dottie: What are we doing?
Fishy: Currently we're running.
Dottie was carrying miscellaneous items including a scythe (which is scarily enough real and sharp metal), a plastic katana (which was lit up due to the fact she had pushed a magical button at the bottom) a Glinda wand, plates, and a balloon attatched to her left foot with masking tape. She was wearing a black tutu with a white belly dancing outfit underneath. She thought it was wonderful.
Fishy was carrying sporks.
Manager: AND DON'T COME BACK!
The two girls calmly ignore the man to all appearances and saunter off.
Fishy: Are you aware that sporks will someday overrun the human race? (holds up sporks to sky)
Dottie: . . .then what will happen to the rest of the utensils? Like the shrimp fork?
Fishy: Well. I don't know how to put this delicately…but your crappy little shrimp fork is GONNA DIE!
The two girls come to an intersection. The light turns to "DO NOT CROSS OR YOU WILL BE HIT!"
Dottie: OH GOD NO!
Fishy: what?
Dottie: It's KURAMA! He's about to be hit by a car!
There is a red fox about to be hit by a car in the center of the road.
Fishy: (snort)…yeah. (note: this is most defintally not Kurama)
Dottie: KURAMA!
Dottie makes a fantastic dive into traffic. The car skids and hits a nearby office building. Dottie throws out a pink hand –
DUN DUN DUN !
The dramatic conclusion!
INTERMISSION DUET!
Jin and Kenshin are sitting by the side of the road with a small bonfire going. They appear to be singing. Drukenly.
Jin and Kenshin: (at top of lungs) DRAGON-MIKO SHEKSHY! SHE REVEIWED EVERYTHING! DRAGON-MIKO SHEKSHI SHEKSHI!
(A/N: B/C WE LUV U… DEBOU WA ASE NO TAKSAN KAKIMASU MEANS FAT PPL SWEAT A LOT, FROM CHAPTER 3)
INTERMISSION OVER- you may now continue with the scheduled insanity.
and Dottie throws out a hand.
Dottie: AMAZING RUST POWER! AWAY!
The car, which was now on fire, rusted and all the exits were sealed off.
Driver: OH GOD I'M BURNING!
The driver's voice fades off into nothing/death.
Dottie: Whoa, thank god me an' Kurama got out okay!
Fishy watches with furrowed green brows.
Fishy: I always have to do everything myself. And my power really isn't that cool. . . (holds up hand)
A large bald eagle swoops down and lands on her wrist. She shrieks as its claws dig in.
Fishy: NOW GO SAVE THEM U.S MASCOT!
The bald eagle swoops to the rescue and starts trying to beat in a window. The window does nothing except injure the bird. After several more attempts, it slides down the window much in the manner of thrown icky vegetables.
Fishy: Um, yes, thank god for our safety.
Dottie: Kurama are you okay?
Fox: . . .(bites her)
Dottie: WHY DO YOU HATE ME! I just saved your life. . .
Fishy: Okay, just bring the dam- uh, Kurama. Let's go.
Dottie: Good thing I could do that and hold on to all the things I had earlier! (wings, now with several holes, blow in the breeze)
Fishy: How did you do that!
Dottie: DRAGON-MIKO SHEKSHY!
Fishy:. . . yeah, let's go home.
Discreet Scene Change to Back HomeKurama and Hiei are reclining comfortably in the large living room, drinking blue lemonade. Photon lurks in the background.
Kurama: This is the life.
Hiei: Sure is.
Kurama: Hiei, I think you're sexy.
Hiei: What was that?
Kurama: Nothing. Why is everything is this house a weird color? My pants even changed color when I . . .had an accident.
Hiei: (stares at Kurama's now green crotch area) I don't think that was the house, Kurama. I think it's one of two things, one being your pants have odd chemical properties or your pee has some sort of odd magical value. It would make my life to have it be number two.
Kurama: At least I'm not attracting the odors anymore.
Photon: So you say. . .
Fishy: Do you think they know we're here?
Dottie: no. They would have complimented my wings otherwise.
Fox: . . . .
Dottie: Don't you think they're pretty Kurama?
Kurama: what are pretty? (notices Dottie) What the hell is that?
Dottie: I know. I think so too. (ignores the real Kurama)
Fishy: Just ignore her for now. Don't worry everybody; I brought the sporks.
Dottie: But I'm no pack a 'puh –
Dottie is cut off by the two evil authoressess.
Fishy: Could you be more of an inconvenient duo?
And the answer, of course, is no. We do try, though.
Discreet Scene Change to a bum under a bridgeHorace: (drunk) I'm the real Kurama, I'm the real Kurama!
Jin and Kenshin: (join in)
END CHAPTER!
And also, we would like to be normal for a change and thank our number one reviewer, Dragon-miko, because she reviewed EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER! Unlike you other, less cool, lazy butts.
Poo.
thanks also goes to the Kea Jaganshi, because sporks doubtlessly will overrun the human race.
Pseudo-lux-serpens has a link to a thing of Kichi on her userpage bio so go look it up! is fun no?