Chapter Six
The next morning I woke late. I had breakfast in my room and dressed, then went to find Rose, only to discover her missing. Just as I was deciding what to do with my day during her absence, there was a knock at my door, and I rushed to open it, hoping it was my sister.
"Good morning," James said, grinning when he saw me. "Might I request the pleasure of your company?"
"You may," I said, grabbing my shawl and walking out into the hallway to join him. "Where exactly is it you intend to take me?"
"It's a surprise, really," he said, taking my hand and leading me down the hallway. "So don't ask questions. You'll find out soon enough, I promise."
I laughed, but allowed myself to be led. We laughed enormously, and I found myself not at all surprised when I found myself in the cargo hold.
"It's nice and private here, don't you think?" he asked, putting a hand around my waist.
"Very," I whispered.
Our eyes met, and slowly, we both leaned in. Our lips met, and I felt the most wonderful sensation. When we parted, I smiled.
"Look, there's all this neat stuff down here," James said, blushing a little and attempting to distract me.
He walked over to a box and pulled the lid off. Inside was a phonograph. He turned it on, and music started blaring.
"Turn it off, James! Someone will hear!" I said, my careful nature overcoming me. But he grabbed me and started spinning me around, dancing.
"Come on, Maggie! It's fun! Listen to the music!"
I stopped fighting and started laughing, dancing with him. It was the first time I had danced to anything other than classical music, and I quite liked the random footsteps we invented to go along with the tune. We kept stepping on each other's feet, bumping into each other, trying to set a pace…
"Stop, stop," I said finally, slumping down in the driver's seat of the Rolls Royce. I gasped for breath. My face was all sweaty, and I knew I must have looked a fright.
James sat down next to me. He stared at me, with a look I had never seen on anyone's face before, and I couldn't name the emotion currently darting through his eyes. I looked away quickly, butterflies in my stomach, sensing that something wonderful was about to happen.
"Maggie, I know we haven't known each other for very long-"
Two days, to be exact, I thought, but I knew better than to interrupt him.
"But I've come to realize that I love you, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you," James continued. My breath caught in my throat, and my eyes filled with water. "Margaret, will you marry me?"
"Yes!" I cried, and threw my arms about his neck. I kissed him, over and over, and I couldn't have been happier. I couldn't wait to tell Mother and Rose! Even Cal, I couldn't wait to tell everyone on the ship!
"I don't have a ring yet, but I plan to buy one as soon as we land. The prettiest one you ever did see, I promise," he said. "In the meantime, will you take this?"
Out of his pocket he pulled a necklace, a silver chain with a silver heart dangling from it. He handed it to me, and I stared at it, smiling, for that was all I could do at the moment.
"Thank you, James," I said finally. "I really don't know what to say."
"That's alright, I didn't either," he said, and helped me to get it on.
"I can't wait to land, to tell everyone I know. We're getting married!"
I hugged him again. I wished that I knew where Rose was, so that I could tell her right away.
There was the sound of a door opening, and a dirty, soot-covered face appeared behind a stack of boxes. We slid out of the seat and hid behind the car, slowly trying to make our way to the door before we were seen.
We made it, barely containing our laughter. The man had been going through boxes, stuffing valuables in his pockets. At least he hadn't seen us, for I was sure we would have given him a heart attack.
"Where would you like to go, now that our secret spot has been discovered?" James asked, offering me an arm.
We had arrived up on deck. I looked around, up at the sun shining high above us. What perfect weather. I glanced up at the first-class deck, and noticed a shock of red hair, and recognized Rose. She was walking with Jack Dawson, talking with him. I smiled. At least she had made a friend. I decided not to disturb her at the moment, to wait until later to tell her my good news.
I glanced at James, grinning.
"Surprise me," I instructed him.
He took me to the restaurant for lunch. We held hands when it was possible and laughed about how all of our mothers' friends stared at us, shocked by such an unnatural display of affection. I was sure that before dinner, my mother would hear about my conduct and reprimand me.
He ordered the best, but only what I liked, and asked me what I wanted. He was so unlike Cal, who just ordered Rose's meal and took her presence for granted. If we weren't poor, I was sure that she would have long ago run off on him.
We talked of many things, like literature and science, even religion. He thought that Buddhists have the right idea about religion, because theirs is about finding your inner self, not praying to a higher power to find it.
"If it weren't for Buddhism, there wouldn't be a religion for me. So I'd probably be atheist," he said, taking a sip of water.
"But don't you believe in God?" I questioned.
"Not really. I don't think there really is an all-powerful man living in the Heavens, staring down on us and judging our actions. I mean, when has there ever been proof that one exists?"
"That's precisely what religion is, James. It's faith. Faith is believing unquestionably in something, whether there is proof or not," I told him. He stared at me for a moment, his expression softening. "What?"
"You just look really beautiful when you're debating a subject with me," he said. I laughed.
"We weren't debating, we were expressing our individual views on the matter," I corrected. He laughed.
He was also critical of modern society. He said it was too hierarchal, and it was too much like the society in England that the Founding Fathers had meant to destroy in America. I agreed with that, and listened to him with interest, letting him further open my eyes to the things Rose had already taught me.
We spoke of families we knew, of friends we had in common, even those we wanted to invite to the wedding. I had no close friends besides Rose, and told him so frankly. He laughed and said he was sure that our mothers could lengthen the guest list considerably.
"I would like to have Charles Hancock as my best man," James said. "He was my best friend back in college, and though we haven't really seen each other since, he's the only person I've ever known who hasn't fallen into the pitfall of society. You'd like him, I'm sure."
When we had finished lunch, we retired to the promenade, sitting on a pair of chairs and watching the waves. We saw Rose and Jack pass once, and they stopped to talk for us to a moment. I refrained from telling Rose just then, seeing that she was having a good time with Jack and feeling loathe to distract her.
"I can't believe she's walking alone with him," James said when they were out of sight, lost in a crowd of passengers. I quickly spun my head to look at him.
"Why, because he has a third-class ticket?" I demanded, my voice reproachful. James laughed and shook his head.
"Not at all; it's because she's engaged. My, won't people be talking about her tonight. Cal'll have a hard time wiping that off his untarnished reputation."
I laughed, too, knowing that he was right. Cal would have a hard time, and I was sure that Rose would be in trouble with Mother tonight, too.
"Cal bothers me," I said after a moment of silence, each of us engaged in private thoughts.
"Why?" James asked. I looked at him. He seemed genuinely curious.
"He has such a snobby attitude. Just because his family owns millions, he thinks he's better than everyone, even Rose. He treats her like an object, like something he owns. It's horrible. And Rose doesn't say anything, because she knows that she needs to marry him," I explained passionately. I looked at James again and colored, feeling I had said too much. Such things were not meant to leave the family. And he wasn't family. Not yet.
"Does she love him?"
I hesitated this time, but seeing the kind, inquisitive look on his face, I knew he meant no harm. Besides, who was he going to tell?
"No, she despises him. She feels exactly the same as me on the matter."
"Then why is she marrying him?"
"I told you already, because she has to," I said simply, beginning to feel uncomfortable. I had crossed the invisible line Mother had drawn, the line that marked what was appropriate conversation and what was not.
"Why does she have to?" James pressed, apparently not as uncomfortable with the subject as I was.
"Because we need the money," I said finally, keeping my voice low as I spoke, not wanting to attract any more attention than I needed to. "When my father died, he left a lot of debts, and according to Mother, we're scrambling to pay them. Cal is a way out. He has millions to spare, and if he marries Rose, we'll have access to all of them. For Mother, it's a way out. It's a way to 'preserve our lifestyle,' in her words," I told him, in a disgusted tone.
I thought he would have been critical of me, would have taken back the engagement. But he merely looked pensive, and I was relieved, feeling an enormous weight lifting off my chest, knowing I could trust him entirely.
"That just proves my point about today's society," he said finally, and we both laughed.
The dinner bell rang, and we parted ways, heading to our respective suites to prepare. I decided to dress in my best, to impress James, and to make him feel like he had picked the right person. I smiled, humming to myself, things going perfectly. Even Rose was out of my thoughts.
I dressed in a black dress with red embroidery, and wore long black gloves. I wore my hair up, and though I wasn't allowed to wear rouge, Rose helped me to dab a little on my lips when Mother wasn't looking.
"You look lovely, Margaret," Mother commented as she patted her hair to smooth down a stray hair and smiling at her reflection in the mirror. "Is there a special occasion?"
"Yes, actually," I said quite calmly, keeping a straight face, "James and I are celebrating our engagement."
Both Rose and Mother stopped what they were doing, their faces going slack with shock. Rose recovered first, though, and laughed, rushing forward to hug and congratulate me. She pressed me for the story, and just as I started to give it, Mother interrupted.
"Margaret, are you sure? I mean, I'm sure you could find someone just as wealthy as Cal, with just as good a reputation-"
"No, Mother. I'm marrying James, whether you approve or not. We love each other, and we're getting married," I told her sternly. She closed her mouth and said nothing further. I suppose she was thinking that at least he wasn't third-class rabble, and that things could always be worse.
We went downstairs to dinner in a relative quiet, Rose still pressing me for more news. She didn't mention her afternoon with Jack Dawson, though, and I knew it was because Mother was with us. But I was sure I would get a chance to talk to her later tonight, when we had retired for the evening.
Cal and Jack met us, Cal offering my mother an arm, while Jack kissed Rose's hand. I giggled and winked at Rose, then moved off to find James, who was talking to Mr. Astor and his wife.
"J.J., how wonderful to see you," I said, shaking his hand and kissing Madeline on the cheek.
"I must say, Miss Margaret, you look lovelier every time I see you," Mr. Astor said, smiling pleasantly. I laughed.
"Has James told you our good news?" I asked, glancing at him quickly before I spoke.
"No, I can't say he has," Madeline said.
"We're engaged!" I announced. "Isn't it wonderful?"
"Congratulations, we're both very excited for you," J.J. said politely, smiling and shaking James' hand.
We spoke for a moment, and then they moved off to say hello to my sister and her escort. James grinned at me, and we went to join another group of people.
"This is fun," I whispered. "They seemed so shocked."
"Of course they were. You're expected to marry someone like Cal, aren't you? And I doubt you're supposed to be happy about it," James whispered back.
I barely contained my laughter.
By the time absolutely everyone knew about our engagement, it was time to be seated. We took our usual table with the usual guests, Molly Brown managing to get a seat with us, much to my mother's dismay. Rose sat across from Jack and next to Cal, while I sat between James and Cal, my usual place.
"Tell us of the accommodations in steerage, Mr. Dawson. I hear they're quite good on this ship," Mother said. I glared, shocked that she should say that, even though it was her.
"The best I've ever seen, ma'am: hardly any rats," Jack said in a light tone, but I could tell from his expression that he had taken offense.
"Mr. Dawson is joining us from Third Class. He was of some assistance to my fiancée last night," Cal explained to the table. As if there could be any doubt about where he was from, thanks to Mother's polite remark.
"It turns out Mr. Dawson is quite a fine artist. He was kind enough to show me some of his work today," Rose said, rushing to Jack's defense.
"Rose and I differ somewhat in our definition of fine art. Not to impugn your work, sir," Cal said. Jack made a gesture, showing that he took no offense.
"How do you take your caviar, sir?" the waiter asked, getting to Jack.
"No caviar for me thanks; never did like it much," Jack said in a pompous way, so that it looked like he was imitating Cal. Rose's face turned red as she tried to keep from laughing.
"On crackers, please," I told the waiter when he got to me.
"And where exactly do you live, Mr. Dawson?" Mother asked. I glared at her again, knowing exactly where she was going with this.
"Well, right now, my address is the RMS Titanic. After that, I'm on God's good humor," Jack said, just as pleasantly as before. It seemed as though nothing could faze him.
"And how is it you have means to travel?"
"I work my way from place to place, you know, on tramp steamers and such. But I won my ticket on Titanic in a lucky hand at poker. A very lucky hand."
"All life is a game of luck," said Colonel Gracie.
"A real man makes his own luck. Right, Dawson?" said Cal, looking over at Jack. I clenched my fist around my napkin, trying to keep myself from rolling my eyes at Cal's stupidity.
"And you find that sort of ruthless existence appealing, do you?" Mother questioned as politely as she could, though it was obvious that she was disgusted by him.
"Well, yes ma'am, I do. I mean, I've got everything I need right here with me. I've got the air in my lungs, and a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's going to happen, or who I'm going to meet, or where I'm going to wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge, and now, here I am, on the grandest ship in the world, drinking champagne with you fine people." Jack said, raising his glass as everyone laughed. "I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You never know which hand you're going to get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you." Just then, Jack threw a box of matches for Cal who wanted to light a cigarette. "To make each day count."
"Well said, Jack," said Molly, as Colonel Gracie agreed.
"To making it count," said Rose, raising her glass, and everyone else at the table did the same. She was apparently just as touched by his speech as I was, and seemed to be looking ever more tenderly at Jack.
The evening continued, and I was glad when no more questions were directed at Mr. Dawson. He was quiet for the entire meal, occasionally smiling at Rose and causing Mother to elbow Rose to make her look away, but other than that was unremarkable.
The subject of our engagement was brought up, and that subject lasted awhile, everyone overly interested in our plans. Mr. Ismay asked us about where we planned to have the wedding, and when I told him that we hadn't discussed it yet, the whole table seemed to be affronted, except Rose, Jack, and Molly. I was quickly learning that Molly was someone I liked, who shared the same world views as me. I was even considering inviting her to the wedding.
"Ladies, thank you for the pleasure of your company," said Mr. Ismay, rising after the last dessert plate was taken away.
"Joining us Dawson? You don't want to stay out here with the women, do you?" asked Colonel Gracie jovially.
"No thanks, I've got to be heading back."
"Probably best," said Cal as he prepared to walk out, "all of that business and politics and that sort of thing wouldn't interest you." He said, winking, and turned around quickly to throw Jack's matches back to him. "It was good of you to come."
He offered to escort Rose back to her room, but she declined, and I turned my head, quickly telling James to come to my room when he was done.
"Jack, must you go?" Rose asked. Despair was evident in her tone.
"Time for me to go row with the other slaves. Goodnight Rose." He said, kissing her hand.
Rose looked queer for a second, then quickly composed her face before Mother could see. I noticed the note Jack had left in her hand, and noticed how she excused herself as soon as she had finished reading it. I smiled to myself. At least she had found love before she chained herself to Cal forever.
As soon as the rest of the ladies started leaving, I joined Mother on the way back to our rooms. She babbled on about having a double wedding with Rose, and about how wonderful it was that both her daughters were getting married at once.
Liar, I thought, that's not what you said two hours ago. You're a filthy hypocritical liar, just like the rest of them. I'll be glad when I'm married, and don't have to see you every day.
Rose wasn't in her room, and though Mother was concerned, I wasn't. I knew she was with Jack, though I didn't say anything, knowing Mother would like the answer to her question much less than ignorance. I dressed for bed, and sat up reading for awhile, waiting for Rose to return, or for a knock on the door that would announce James. The knock came first.