Chapter 25: Promises of the Future

Lavellan awoke from her rest to a sudden pain in her side. The pain faded then came again, sharper this time. Fear crept its way into her heart as she checked herself for bleeding or signs of early labor.

It was too soon. She was only halfway through her pregnancy. If her baby came now, it would be too small to survive.

Finding no blood, her worry decreased only slightly as it happened again. She touched her belly and her hand shook as it glowed, searching for the pulse and heartbeat of her child.

The light woke Solas and he blinked at her, confused. "Vhenan? What is it?"

She shook her head, panic taking ahold of her. "I think something is wrong…" she murmured, tearfully, as the pain came again, sharper this time.

Solas quickly pushed himself up and put his hand over her belly, glowing and warm as he used his magic to sense whatever was amiss. "Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?" he asked.

She nodded, terrified of what it might mean and moved his hand to the spot on her belly where the pain was coming from. "It's coming and going, but it's just there beneath the ribs and it feels like-Ah! There!"

Solas felt for a moment and her heart pounded in her throat. Then he looked up at her and a smile spread across his face. "There is no cause for alarm, ma vhenan. It is perfectly natural."

Her brows drew together in concern. "What is it?"

His eyes twinkled in the moonlight. "That is our baby kicking, vhenan."

The pounding of her heart did not subside, despite the relief at his words. "Really?" It seemed almost too good to be true. But the pain… She hadn't thought it would feel like this.

"Here," he said, wrapping himself around her and putting her hand on the spot.

"Nothing's happening," she said.

"Patience. It will."

She waited, hardly daring to breathe. And then it came again, and indeed, this time she felt it like a glancing blow. "Oh!" she exclaimed. Another kick quickly followed and she exclaimed again. "Oh, this feels strange. But that… That's kicking? It feels like cramping or… I'm not sure. It's so very strange." For several moments she felt it with her hand, giving a small start each time it happened. "Are you sure that's right? Here," she placed Solas's hand on her stomach again, pressing it slightly.

His heart stirred when he felt the slight fluttering bump just under his hand. He rested his head on her shoulder, feeling emotions rise up in his throat that he had not expected. This was his child in there. Real and kicking and thriving. "Ar lath ma, vhenan," he whispered, speaking not just to his partner, but his child too. They were his family. Small and precious as it was, it meant the world to him to have them here in his arms.

Solas was reading a report from Tevinter when he glanced up to see Abelas enter the room.

Abelas bowed. "You called for me?"

Solas set down the report and rose to his feet, coming to stand before the desk. "Yes. Have you heard anything more in regards to the investigation around Morrigan?"

"Very little that is credible. Wherever she is hiding, our scouts and spies have not yet been able to find the location."

"No clues as to her motivation?"

Abelas narrowed his eyes. "No. But we can speculate that it is likely she either sought the object or intended to capture or kill your partner. Her motivation may be her lust for power, a desire for revenge, or the opportunity to remove a key player from the board."

Solas considered for a moment. "I knew Morrigan. Or at least we interacted at times during her stay at Skyhold. She is relentless. She will try again, regardless. And when that happens, I will need your help."

"The keep is well defended. The wards alone-"

"I am not talking about Mercy's Rest, Abelas. I will need your help to protect my family." Solas leveled his gaze, watching Abelas carefully. "Have you come up with a security detail as of yet? It has been two weeks now."

Abelas was quiet for a moment. "No. Not yet. I have been… observing her habits. Dividing her time between both Mercy's Rest and Skyhold has made the detail difficult to say the least. She is… evasive. And will try to slip away from me at every opportunity. Her resistance is a… challenge," he finished, choosing his words carefully.

"Yes, that does not surprise me. What does she do when she is at Skyhold?"

"Some of her day is spent in operations and intelligence meetings with her small council. The rest of the time, she stays in the archive and reads. Lately, though, she has taken to discussing magical theory with the Tevinter magister. At times the two have expressed a certain… comfort and closeness. I thought you should be made aware of the situation."

Solas raised an eyebrow. "Are you insinuating that my partner is engaged in inappropriate conduct with another man?"

"I have observed the two sequestering themselves in the library with a silencing charm to prevent me from overhearing their conversations. At their meeting last week she reached across the table and took his hand in hers. A gesture that seemed rather… intimate."

"And?"

Abelas crossed his arms. "Well it seems to me that your partner is engaging in private moments with a man she seems to be quite comfortable with. A Tevinter mage, no less."

"And you suspect they may be consorting behind my back?"

"It is possible. Forgive me, but there is a chance that if she was involved with this Tevinter mage before she reconciled with you and they had relations-"

"-That is enough," Solas growled, silencing Abelas with a look. "I do not know why you are insistent on the idea that she has been false. But I put my trust in you, Commander. I trusted you with the welfare of my family. Yet this is what you present to me? Tales of her alleged affair with a Tevinter magister. Well, I am afraid I must inform you that the likelihood of that is very slim, seeing as how Dorian Pavus, the magister in question, is not interested in romantic attachments with women. And-" he cut off Abelas, who had opened his mouth to speak, with a warning look. "-I trust my partner. Completely. She has not given me any reason to distrust her."

"Completely? You do not find it at all suspicious that she became pregnant so soon after her arrival? When she traveled here with a half dozen men who could have slept with her before she was with you?" Abelas had held his tongue long enough.

White hot anger flashed through Solas's veins with a searing vengeance, but the glare he fixed Abelas with was as cold as ice. "You do not know her, Abelas. Nor can you see past your prejudice. But I do know her. She did not trick me into bonding myself to her. Her pregnancy was accidental and entirely my fault. And I am certain the child she carries is mine. I do not doubt her in any way. I am surprised that in your observations of my partner, you failed to notice the spell she is working on with Dorian. She has been trying to find an alternative source of power that could rival the red lyrium idol. To prevent me from using the idol and succumbing to its effects. She is trying to save me, Abelas. That is who she is. But you cannot see it, blinded by your preconceived notions."

Abelas frowned, though he did not cower before Solas's cold glare. "So she claims. She may just be searching for her own source of power."

Solas's nose twitched as he forced back a sneer and a laugh. "I understand your wariness, Abelas. I too was distrustful of the Dalish. But you do not know her. If you did, you would not doubt her in the slightest. Recall, she also found and obtained the red lyrium idol we have spent months searching for. She has used the Inquisition's power and influence to assist in our efforts. And the alliance she negotiated with the Dalish Council has dramatically reduced the attacks on our supply chains. Abelas," he paused, making certain his eyes held Abelas's gaze. "I trust her with all my heart. She is my family. She is my partner. She is the mother of my child. And above all else, she is the most important woman in this world. Not simply because of the love I bear for her, but because she is the hero that Thedas needs. When the Veil is gone and the dust settles, she must be there to help. Do you understand, Abelas? I have not asked you to protect her merely because she is important to me. But because she is important to this world."

"What difference can a woman with only one hand make?"

Solas couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lip. "If there is one thing I have learned in these past few years, it is not to underestimate her."

"You would be wise not to overestimate her abilities. Her past success does not guarantee a future one," Abelas warned.

"That may be true. Which is why, should anything happen to me, I want you to be there by her side."

Abelas raised an eyebrow at this, surprised. He had expected after his earlier remarks, to be thrown from the palace and exiled to a remote corner of the world. "You still wish for me to remain as her protector?"

"Yes," Solas replied simply. "You have knowledge of the Evanuris and memories from before the Veil came to be. If I am dead, she will need help against our enemies. And if her plan does not work and I am forced to use the idol, she may not have the heart to do what needs to be done and kill me before it is too late," he stated. "In which case, you may need to kill me to stop the Dread Wolf."

"Let us hope it does not come to that," Abelas said, frowning once more.

"I am… hopeful that she will succeed. But I am not foolish enough to place all my faith on such a chance when there is much at stake. Regardless of what happens, I need to know that there is someone watching out for my family. I entrust their wellbeing to you, Abelas."

"You speak as if you expect failure. What then, has been the point of our efforts?"

Solas looked at him, almost sadly. "I walk the Din'anshiral, Abelas. I do not know when, but I know the path I walk and where it leads. I may not survive the wars to come. But you must ensure that my family does."

Abelas stood stock still for a moment, his face stoic, eyes cast back to memories long since past. He drew in a long, slow breath and then let it out. Carefully, he removed a piece of paper from his pocket and presented it to Solas. "My security detail for her ladyship. I am recommending a rotating escort of two Sentinels at all times. I have reviewed the information with all Sentinels listed there. Each and every one of them is trustworthy. Wherever her ladyship goes, she will be protected."

"Dorian?" Lavellan asked, turning away from the window in her room at Skyhold. The wind was especially loud and bone chilling that evening. With Abelas outside the door below, she finally felt as if she could speak her mind.

"Yes?" he asked, carefully sketching out a diagram on a large sheet of parchment, not really paying attention to her.

"Dorian, I… I have a favor to ask of you."

"Alright," he said, picking up his quill and carefully scratching a few symbols along part of the diagram.

She didn't really know where to begin. A solid lump formed like a stone in her throat. "Um, well… I've been thinking. And as you may recall, our last adventure with time magic didn't really go so well and it got me thinking…"

"It will be perfectly safe, I assure you. Look at this diagram I've designed. It's perfect. Not even a giant could break through this containment field. Trust me, there's no need to worry," he interjected, holding up his work and smiling at it with satisfaction.

"That's good. And I trust that it will hold perfectly well when the time comes, but our project has reminded me of the future we saw at Redcliffe and though it never came to pass, it made me fearful of what may happen."

"Nothing will happen beyond what we expect. My calculations are flawless, I assure you. The containment field will hold the orb in place and keep the excess energy produced by the time spell from escaping. It will be nothing like what Alexius did at Redcliffe, of that you can be certain."

"Right. But it brings up this new sort of fear, I suppose. I mean, you were there, in Redcliffe with me. You saw our friends give their lives. I saw Solas die." She froze as an icy chill went down her back at the memory.

Dorian set the parchment down and turned to her, his own face grim, remembering it as well. Only the two of them had gone into the future at Redcliffe and returned to the present. Only they understood the true horrors of what could have been. "I remember," he said, though he could think of no words of comfort. There were nights when he could not sleep for fear of the nightmares in which he saw The Iron Bull, a person he came to love, die after falling to demons.

She put a hand on her belly, trying not to think about such a grim future. "I don't know what will happen in the future. But I am not foolish enough to think that it will be without conflict or violence. I worry about what may happen to Solas. He claims to walk the Din'anshiral. If anything happens… If we should die, but our child lives, will you take care of it?" She bit her lip in an effort to keep it from trembling. She wanted her baby. She wanted to hold her baby in her arms, to feed it and care for it, to raise it. But fear lurked in the back of her mind. Her mother had not survived childbirth. And her own enemies had already proven themselves dangerous. She had to be sure that her child was cared for, even if she could not do it herself. Though it broke her heart to envision it, she had to know her baby would be okay.

For once, Dorian was speechless. They had joked about naming the child after him and it had all been in good humor, but to actually consider taking on the responsibility of raising a child if its parents passed away was unthinkable. It had to be a joke, he decided. "You're not serious, are you? Haven't we discussed precisely why that would be a terrible idea?" he said with a chuckle.

But she did not laugh. Instead, her expression remained serious and sober. "I am, Dorian. And we did discuss our fears of parenthood, but I don't believe that we are destined to be like our parents. I certainly hope not. Besides, it would only be in case of an emergency. If something happened to me and Solas. I just…" she bit her lip, trying to stay calm as the cold fear circled in her heart. "I want to make sure my baby will have someone if something happens to us."

Dorian's smile disappeared and he covered his mouth with his hand, trying not to envision such a future. "But I am not even elven! I'm a Tevinter magister, I drink, I don't know the first thing about children... Why in the world would you want me to raise your child?"

"No, you're not elven. But you would keep my baby safe. And happy, I hope. You would be able to teach it about magic and history and our people. And us. My baby would be able to grow up with stories of her parents." She blinked back the burn of tears at the thought of all the things she might miss.

Dorian began to pace, shaking his head in disbelief. "No, this is madness. First of all, I find it highly unlikely that I would survive whatever managed to kill off the two of you. I mean, I'm amazing, don't get me wrong, but I'm not a god or some hero over here. I'm just a magister. Isn't there someone else… someone better than me? You could ask, I don't know…" He quickly ran through a mental list of their companions, dismissing them for one reason or another as potential candidates before settling on one that might work. "Cullen! Yes, the two of you were so close after Solas… Well, you know. He's kept that dog of his alive and he's got that country estate now. Why not ask him?"

Lavellan's heart sank. She tried not to think about Cullen these days. "Because he doesn't want anything to do with me since I reconnected with Solas. I'm quite certain he would never want to raise our child."

Dorian grimaced. He knew Cullen loved her, but love was likely not enough to look over the fact that she was pregnant with a child conceived by a man he hated. "Alright, well… What about the elves? Shouldn't an elven child be raised by elves? For culture and language or something like that? What about your clan, isn't there someone you trust who could do it?"

Her face fell and she shook her head. "My clan would hardly be accepting of my child. The new clan keeper bears a grudge against me. My uncle is too old to rear children. There are others who might, old friends, but… no one as good as you, Dorian."

Her compliment still touched his heart, even as he struggled to understand why she would feel that way. "But…" he searched for a reason. "But you can't die. You're my best friend. And if you-" he cut off as his bearded chin began to quiver and his eyes filled with glistening tears. He crossed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight hug. He recalled the events of the Crossroads all too well, watching her die piece by piece as the anchor's power threatened to tear her apart. "You can't die. Nothing else is allowed to happen to you. I can't lose you after everything we've been through. Promise me you won't."

A small laugh escaped her and she sniffed back her tears, hugging him back. "I promise I'll try my very best to stay alive. But Dorian… Please? Please promise me that you'll keep my baby safe," she whispered.

He squeezed her even tighter before loosening his grip and drawing back. Tears ran down his cheeks. "Okay. I promise."

She pulled him back in, returning his squeeze. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." He released her and stepped back, ashamed. "I should have accepted from the moment you asked. It's only…" he hung his head, mustache drooping as he pinched his eyes shut. "I can't imagine this world without you. Please… You have to live. Stories are one thing, and I will happily tell my little cabbage in there all about Solas's terrible sense of dress and that time he set his own cloak on fire, or that one time you called a dragon a 'frosty old toad' to its face. But I would prefer to do it as the beloved uncle visiting to see the most wonderful mother a child could hope for," he said, smiling at her. His mustache wobbled and he cleared his throat in an effort to hide his rising emotions. "Alright. No more talk of this. It's making me weepy. Besides, we have work to do. If we're lucky, tomorrow will be the day."