Chapter 28: Familiar Faces

A week passed in grim quiet around Mercy's Rest. The staff and guards were interviewed thoroughly over the earlier events and the fire, but no new information turned up. For all intents and purposes, the attack seemed like a singular incident caused by a madman and a rogue assassin, and though the staff began to feel more at ease, the tension in the castle lingered.

Lavellan drummed her fingertips on the table in the library at Mercy's Rest, but for all her effort, she ended up re-reading the same sentence over and over without taking any of it in. She glanced out the window, wondering what Solas was up to and when he would be back. Waiting was the worst for her. She had no patience and waiting for him to return put her in a dark place; one far too similar to the despair she fell into before.

"My lady," came a voice from behind her. She glanced up to see Abelas, a small cloth sack tucked under one arm and a serving tray in one hand.

"No poison today?" she mused as he set down the tray.

"Repeating the joke that was in poor taste to begin with does not make it more amusing," he said, removing the cover and pushing the tray closer to her.

"You could always let someone else bring me my food and then I could share my poor, tasteless jokes with people who aren't you," she reminded him, taking a pointed bite of melon from the plate.

"Don't get used to it. It's only temporary, after all. We're nearly finished vetting the staff. Besides, if someone else brings it to you, you don't eat it," he said, sitting across from her.

She waved her piece of melon on her fork before popping it into her mouth. "You finished vetting the staff two days ago. You're in The Game now, Abelas. Assassins and poison are part of the charm; or so I'm told." She picked at the tray.

"Eat," Abelas told her, pushing the small sack across the table to her. "And take this."

Eyeing him warily, she opened the sack and peered inside. Reaching into the bag, she pulled out a purple, soft, knitted blanket made from dyed druffalo wool. Perhaps it was the hormones, but the gesture brought tears to her eyes as she unfolded it and ran it over her fingers. "Oh, Abelas… This is so kind. I don't know what to say."

Abelas was looking out the window and waved her praise away. "It was something to pass the time," was all he said on the matter, though his thoughtfulness touched her heart.

"Thank you," she said, carefully folding it and slipping it back inside the sack. "You are very talented. It's absolutely beautiful. How did you finish it so quickly?"

"I know several spells that help speed up the process. Now, eat. I won't leave until you've finished the tray," he warned.

"Sounds more like punishment for you than for me," she said, biting into a honeyed walnut scone.

An attendant arrived, barred passage by the two Sentinels at either side of the bookcases. They were certainly more alert than they had been prior to the incident. Abelas turned and fixed the attendant with a suspicious glare. The attendant looked rather taken aback, but bowed to them and held out a piece of paper. "A visitor has arrived for her ladyship," the attendant's hand shook as she held out the paper, which Abelas snatched from her hand to read himself.

Lavellan fixed him with a scolding look, but he paid her no mind as he read the name on the calling card.

"Well? Who is it?" Lavellan asked curiously.

"A human by the name of Cullen Rutherford," the attendant said at the same time Abelas said, "No one of importance. I'll see to this."

"Oh, give me that," she said irritably, snatching the calling card out of his hand. "Abelas, really," she scolded, shaking her head at him. Then she turned to the attendant. "Please, show me to him." Slipping the sack over her wooden wrist she got up from her chair and followed the attendant, flanked by two guards in front and behind her.

Abelas stayed with her. "You have not finished your meal," he reminded her, keeping pace as they left the library.

"Linda, will you please bring some tea and scones for Cullen and myself after you've shown us to the correct room?" Lavellan asked the attendant kindly.

"Of course, your ladyship," she said, glancing nervously at Abelas.

"Perhaps it would be best if I interviewed this visitor before you meet with him. We have had unfortunate dealings with surprise visitors only all too recently after all," he reminded her.

"Cullen is a friend. And the former Commander of the Inquisition. There are few people I trust as much as him," she informed him.

"Yes, because the shemlen are always so trustworthy," he drawled, ignoring her disapproving look.

She ignored him until they reached the room where Cullen waited.

Cullen gazed out the window, his hands folded behind his back, admiring the view of the gardens beyond. He turned when the doors opened, surprised to see several guards surrounding Lavellan, but that was nothing compared to the shock he received when he saw her stomach. "Maker's breath," he muttered as she hurried forward and threw her arms around him. For a moment he didn't know what to do with himself and the very stern looking guards behind her seemed none too pleased at the gesture. Still, with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and the warmth of her embrace, he couldn't help but respond and slowly put his hands on her back, returning the hug.

Pulling back, she beamed up at him. His nervous smile never ceased to amuse her. "It's so good to see you, Cullen," she said, stepping back and taking him in. It felt strange to see him without armor, but he appeared well and in good spirits.

"It's good to see you as well, Inquisitor," he said, quickly putting his hands behind his back as the elf standing behind her shot him a death glare. "Though, I wasn't quite expecting to see you… like this."

She glanced down at her stomach and felt her neck and cheeks grow hot. "Oh, yes. I suppose it never really came up when last we spoke," she muttered.

"Or in your letters," Cullen said, still surprised to see her belly so round.

"I thought you said he was a friend," Abelas commented, stepping forward, eyeing Cullen warily. "And yet your friend does not seem to be aware of your condition. How peculiar."

Lavellan whirled around, fixing him with a smile that clearly told him she wanted to murder him. "There never really seemed to be a good time to mention it," she said, turning back to Cullen apologetically. "Cullen, this is Commander Abelas. Abelas, this is Cullen Rutherford, the previous Commander of the Inquisition's forces. Commander Abelas, don't you have important work to do somewhere else?" she asked, turning to him with the same tight-lipped smile.

"No, actually, until you finish lunch, my afternoon is quite open. Besides, I'm interested in knowing more about this Commander Cullen, was it? By chance, are you the same Commander Cullen who laid siege to the Temple of Mythal?"

Before Lavellan could speak, Cullen interjected. "The Inquisition did not lay siege to the Temple of Mythal. We merely sought to defeat Coryphseus's forces and stop the red templars from gaining access to the temple itself."

"And yet many of the Sentinels of the temple were slain by Inquisition forces."

"And the Inquisition lost many good men and women to your Sentinels as well," Cullen said darkly, eyeing Abelas with distaste.

"And it was a horrible tragedy on both sides," Lavellan said, stepping in between them. "Thankfully, now the Inquisition and the Sentinels from the Temple of Mythal are working together to make the world a better place," she reminded them both, giving them pointed looks. "Now, Abelas, please, give us the room, I will happily allow the guards to remain, but you may not insult my guest."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, my lady," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Why not?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Abelas's smile was reminiscent of someone who held a winning hand in Wicked Grace. "I'm afraid Cullen Rutherford is one of the names on the list Fen'Harel provided prior to his departure."

"What list?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A list of people who are not allowed to be left alone in a room with you."

She blinked, uncertain if he was lying or not. "Well, we won't be alone. There are four guards within this room. There is no need for you to stay and watch out for me."

Abelas narrowed his eyes at Cullen. "I respectfully disagree, my lady."

"Well I don't care. Besides, how will I know if the tea and scones aren't poisoned unless you check on them yourself?" she hissed.

Abelas made a dismissive noise, but then turned and left to do just that, pausing only to order the guard by the door to keep a close eye on Cullen.

"Poisoned tea and scones? I feel like I'm back at the Winter Palace," Cullen commented, turning back to her with a small smile when Abelas was gone. "Though it seems like they have you locked away here with all these guards."

"Oh, yeah. There was sort of an… incident earlier this week."

Cullen's concern grew and he stepped closer to her. "Are you alright? Were you hurt?"

She stared down at her shoes, not certain how to answer that question. "No. No, I'm fine. A few cuts, but I'm fine now. Really, it's alright now. The guards are just an added precaution."

He gave her a look. They had known each other long enough that he could tell when she was downplaying the severity of something. "I knew I should have come sooner. Tell me what happened."

She chewed on her lip for a moment, hesitating. "It is no matter. Let us talk of other things. How have you been? How are things with your family and your new estate? And Bear?"

Cullen grinned. She always asked several questions all at once, but he knew it was because she was genuinely interested. "I am well. Things are running smoothly so far and I've been able to help many reformed templars. It's amazing, really. There are some cases where healers turned addicts away, believing them too far gone, and yet some of them have made real progress. It's inspiring. And my family is doing well. My nephew is nearly up to my navel now and he's faster than a fox running around with Bear. Honestly, I would love to have you there. You would love it. There's tall trees all around and a small lake nearby where I go fishing in my spare time. Bear always has to roll around in the mud though. And there's plenty of elfroot around," he added, making her smile.

"Here we go again, always poking fun at me and elfroot," she said, rolling her eyes. But the smile never left her cheeks. "It sounds wonderful, Cullen. Really wonderful. I'm happy for you. I know I wasn't the… most supportive of you leaving the Inquisition, but you deserve to have your happiness. I'm glad the change is serving you well."

He shook his head. "It still feels strange somehow. So much has changed and yet there are times when I look up, expecting to see you come around a corner with a few biscuits or a report or something," he joked.

She smiled sadly down at her tea. "I know what you mean. I keep wandering over to your old office at Skyhold and finding Blackwall instead of you. It still surprises me. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it's… strange. I guess I just miss you," she admitted quietly.

Cullen looked at her from across the table, something pained in his smile. "I've missed you as well." A moment of silence passed as things unsaid passed through their minds.

Cullen reached for a scone and swirled his tea. "So… You neglected to mention previously that um, some things had changed," he said uncomfortably, nodding to her stomach.

The hot flush returned to her cheeks. "Right. Yes, I'm pregnant. I had sort of assumed that Leliana or Josephine might have told you."

He shook his head, his face paling slightly. "No. They failed to mention it. As did you."

She grimaced, rolling her empty tea cup in her hand. "I didn't know how to tell you," she admitted.

A moment of silence passed and then he shook his head. "You shouldn't be afraid to mention something like this to me. You're my friend. I'm happy for you. Really, I want nothing but the best for you and your baby." He smiled at her, meaning it, though something sad lingered in his eyes. "How far along are you?" he asked, clearing his throat.

"Just about eight months," she said, rubbing at a pain in her back. Sitting for too long in these straight-backed chairs was painful for her.

Cullen choked on his tea, coughing into his elbow. When he had recovered himself, he tried to keep his tone neutral. "Eight months? So then did you know when we-when I spoke to you before leaving Skyhold?"

She nodded her head, toying with the wooden fingers of her hand. "Um, yes. I was still… taking it in when we spoke. I didn't think it was a good time to mention it. You seemed pretty angry at me as it was."

Cullen rubbed at the back of his neck. "I know. I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have shouted at you. That was unkind of me. As your friend, I never should have done it."

She hung her head as memories of their fight reopened old wounds. "I was afraid I'd lost you for good," she said quietly. "But I'm glad I was wrong." She smiled at him and he returned her smile. "It's nice seeing you again. What made you decide to come though? You didn't even write to let me know you were coming. I mean, you traveled all the way here. I could have met you at Skyhold. With the eluvians it's much easier for me to travel to see you."

Cullen glanced to the corner where Abelas sat, pretending to read a book and shuffled closer to the table. He leaned forward and Lavellan did the same. When he spoke, he kept his voice low so as not to be overheard. "Forgive me. When you wrote to me in your last letter you mentioned that he was leaving for a while and you were worried. I remembered how bad it was for you after he left; how you didn't eat or sleep well. And I was concerned."

Cold shame and guilt spread through her body and she chewed on her lip.

Cullen could tell by her reaction alone the words rang true. "How bad is it?" he asked gently. "Are you sleeping? Are you eating enough? With a baby…" he paused. He didn't want to lecture her or make her feel like an unfit mother. "Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Yes," she said, though her voice fell even lower as she said it. "I'm trying to anyway. It's not easy. Being pregnant is hard enough. Sleeping is difficult when everything hurts and I have to get up every hour or two. Abelas has taken to bringing me my meals and making certain I eat them though. But I just feel sick constantly."

"I should've brought you cookies," he said, recalling the familiar gesture. He used to stop by to see her on his way to or from the kitchens, oftentimes with something sweet like cookies to cheer her up, if only for a moment.

"You would already have eaten them before you reached me here," she smirked, glancing down at his crumb-covered plate. He had already finished off five scones from the tray.

"What can I say? It was a long trip. Here, split this one with me," he said, breaking one in half and handing it to her.

"You're as bad as Abelas," she grumbled, but he merely smiled and poured her more tea. She picked up her cup and blew on it. "You still could have written to let me know you were coming. I would've had some of those lemon cakes you like so much ready to serve instead of scones. Or you could have just come to Skyhold."

He shrugged and sighed. "I know. I just couldn't bring myself to write a letter asking you if you were alright when there was a chance you weren't. When you said they kept a guard on you at all times I feared I might have to come and rescue you with a small army, but only if you were in trouble," he added.

"It's not like I'm locked away. I still go to Skyhold from time to time to catch up on reports and help where I can. But everyone seems to be in agreement that now I'm too pregnant to go around on missions. Still, I wouldn't mind having you visit Skyhold again. We could walk the ramparts like old times and eat cherry turnovers. It would be fun," she grinned, spooning jam onto her scone.

Cullen shifted in his chair. "I'm not sure how I would feel, being back at Skyhold. I would want to yell at guards for laying about or tell trainees to block with their shields. That's not my role anymore. I'm not really certain where I fit in."

"The Inquisition is just as much yours as it is mine, Cullen. You helped found it, if you recall," she reminded him. "You'll always have a place there."

"I'm not so sure. Besides, I don't have the title of Inquisitor like you do. From what I hear the place has more children running around than it does soldiers. What am I supposed to do, train toddlers how to keep formation on an imaginary battlefield?"

"There are a lot of children running about, I'll admit it. But it's for the best. They needed a home and with most of the soldiers gone we had the space. Plus, I think you would be brilliant with the children. They would love seeing you ride in, especially with your lion's helmet. You would be the highlight of their week."

Cullen couldn't help but smile at her. "You think so? I'm sure Bear would love all the attention too if I brought him."

"They would love that. Although you might have to keep an eye on him. Some of the younger kids might try to ride him like a pony."

He chuckled. "That reminds me, my sister's youngest boy tried to do just that and ended up flat on his backside. Maker's breath, did I get an earful from her."

She listened with a smile on her face as he told her about his family and all that was happening at his estate and the addiction recovery center's progress. It wasn't until her cheeks grew sore and the last scone disappeared that she realized how much time had passed.

"It's growing late. Would you like to walk for a bit? I could show you around while someone prepares your room."

"Oh, well, I was planning on staying at the inn back in the town-"

"-No, please, you're my friend. Stay here at Mercy's Rest. The guest rooms are lovely. I slept very well when I first came to visit. Please stay. It will give us more time to catch up. I feel like I've missed so much," she said, reaching across the table and touching his arm.

"Not nearly as much as I've missed apparently. It sounds like you've been quite busy yourself. But I'd be happy to stay. So long as there is more food, I trust," he said, glancing at the empty plate.

"Of course. Come, let me show you around the palace and then the garden before we lose the light. It's my favorite. After that we'll have dinner and play a round of Wicked Grace, I promise." She called for an attendant who hurried away to make the preparations.

Cullen followed her around and listened attentively as she showed him around the palace and informed him of the history of it. History had always been one of her favorite subjects. When Solas had told her about it and shown her memories of it in the Fade, she had been enraptured by his every word. Cullen, on the other hand, seemed less interested in the history, but did praise the various pieces of art for their craftsmanship.

They walked in the garden as the sun faded. Lavellan pointed to all the flowers and plants she knew and told Cullen about the properties or uses in potions of one kind or another. Abelas trailed behind, a rather sour expression on his face. At one point Cullen paused and picked a flower for her, tucking it into one of her braids. The gesture, while kindly meant, made her feel uncomfortable. Taking it from her hair, she twisted it between her fingers.

"What is it?" Cullen asked, wondering if he overstepped.

"Nothing. It's lovely. It… reminds me of Solas, actually. He brings me flowers and tea when I've been too sick to get out of bed in the mornings." There. She had said it. All the time they talked, Cullen had stayed clear of the name. But she would not. Solas was her partner and she wasn't going to pretend otherwise. "He should be back in a few days."

Cullen stilled, drawing his hands behind his back. It was easier that way. "That's… good," he said quietly, trying to keep his voice even. "I hope it is a smooth journey."

"Me too," she said, touching the petals as carefully as possible with her wooden hand.

"What are you doing?" Cullen asked, curious.

"Oh, I've been trying to improve my fine motor skills with the arm. Without sensory feedback I have a tendency to apply too much pressure and… well, break things. Obviously that would be bad if I was around a baby, so I've been trying to improve it."

Cullen didn't know what to say. "Have you been preparing for the baby?" he asked uncertainly.

She nodded. "Of course. Dagna made me a special sling I can wear to carry the baby. But I've been practicing with the hand to do all the things I used to do with babies too. I should be able to feed, change, and burp the baby. And put the baby down for a nap. A few things take some adjusting, but…" she trailed off, noting the shift in his expression. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"What about Solas? Are you going to have to take care of your child alone?"

"Well, no, Solas will help too. He's painted the nursery and ordered furniture too. And something about a wet-nurse for help, but I've never really heard of such a thing so I'm not sure how it will work-"

"How is he going to help you raise a baby? Won't he have elven gods coming after him for what he did? He's putting you and your baby in danger. He-"

"Cullen, stop!" She balked at him.

He tore his gaze away from her, ashamed. He hadn't wanted it to go like this.

"Solas is trying to make a world where our child has a future. I'm proud to be a part of that. Would you treat your wife this way if you had to fight off raiders attacking your home? The world has always been dangerous, Cullen, and it always will be. All we can do is try our best and have faith."

"But how can you have faith in him?" he asked, forlornly. "He left you behind in his pursuit. You'll be in more danger with him. If you were my wife, I would run and hide you away somewhere safe, where you couldn't be hurt."

"That's precisely the problem, Cullen. Nowhere will be safe. There is no running from this. It is already happening. And I am not your wife. I am Solas's partner and I will not leave him to fight this alone. Not when I can help."

Cullen turned away, a muscle straining in his jaw. "But it shouldn't be like this. You should be somewhere safe. Somewhere you can have your baby in peace."

"I am safe. I have guards here around the clock. The baby has as good a chance here as any."

"I would feel better about that if you hadn't just told me you were nearly killed last week," he retorted, crossing his arms. "Besides, your mother… didn't you tell me she died in childbirth? Aren't you worried-"

"Cullen, please. Please, stop. I am terrified. Like any mother would be. But please, just stop. I'm scared and I could really use a friend," she said, her voice fading into breath as the admission choked her.

He hung his head. "I'm sorry. I… don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. Of course, you must do what you think is best. I… Please forgive me."

"I know you are," she said quietly. "I forgive you, Cullen." She accepted the hug he offered, though a part of her remained wary.

"I just want you to be safe," he whispered.

"I know," she said, pulling back from the hug.

Lavellan awoke in the middle of the night to a strange feeling low in her belly. It eased and then came again like a muscle spasm. She waited for several minutes, counting between the seconds when it occurred. She checked between her legs, but she had not bled or lost her waters as of yet. Rolling onto her side, she pushed herself onto her side and made her way to the door. Another cramping feeling came and she paused, resting her hand on the doorway. "Elgar, please, go and fetch Abelas," she ordered, putting a hand on her belly.

She waited, leaning against the desk chair, focusing on counting between the time of each new cramp.

When Abelas arrived, he was already bedecked in his usual armor. "What is it?" he asked, brows notching together. He glanced around the hallway suspiciously. "I think I'm having contractions."

His eyes widened and he approached her, pausing to ask permission before he put his hand on her belly. "Did you count between the last few? Are they getting closer together?" There was a panic in his voice she had not expected.

"I don't think so. But it's hard to say. It comes and goes-There! That was another one." Abelas's expression remained serious as he focused on counting.

The silence stretched between them and she wasn't sure if she should say anything. Deciding it was best not to disturb him, she focused on her breathing. When the next cramp came she grimaced.

"Seven hundred and forty three. What did you get before?"

"One was eight hundred and sixty. The one after that I reached six hundred and twelve."

"It may only be false labor then. Here. Drink some water."

She accepted the glass he poured from the pitcher on her nightstand.

"Come. Let us walk and see if anything changes," he offered.

She grimaced as another cramp clenched in her belly, but pushed herself to standing and followed him around the hall. She walked slowly, focusing on counting between the contractions. "I got eight hundred and two this time," she said.

"I counted seven hundred and ninety-eight," Abelas said with a definitive tone.

"So they aren't getting closer?" she asked, still a little uncertain if she was counting correctly.

"We shall see. Give it some time."

They continued walking in a circle.

"Do you sleep in your armor? You got here awfully fast."

"Of course not. Magic makes it easier to dress in a hurry."

She paused as another cramp came on. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you were at the ready faster than most would be. Were you guarding someone else?"

"I can't imagine what you mean."

"Really? The way you tailed around me when Cullen and I were in the garden suggests otherwise. Why, pray tell, were you keeping such a close eye on us?"

"I was merely following orders."

"Right. You mentioned a list. What is this a list of?"

"People I am not to leave you alone with under any circumstances."

"And Cullen is on that list? And Solas wrote it? Who else is on it? Why Cullen of all people?"

Abelas shrugged. "I am not certain. Others include an Antivan named Zarrak, a Qunari named The Iron Bull, a human named Sutherland, some Orlesian noble named Francois Catallyet, an elven woman named Briala, a baroness named Katarina Dubos, a witch named Morrigan, a Dalish keeper named Ferran of Clan Lavellan, pretty much every Dalish man after that, and your father."

"My father?"

"Yes. I am actually supposed to have him imprisoned or killed on sight."

"Iron Bull is on that list?"

"Yes, but it specifies that in a group setting he is allowed to be present."

She shook her head. "Unbelievable," she muttered under her breath.

Abelas raised an eyebrow at her. "You may not wish to scoff quite so soon. The man who attacked you last week, Varitan, was also on that list."

She stilled, leaning against a wall momentarily. "It is a surprise then that he allows you to be alone with me. Or any of the guards, I suppose."

"Fen'Harel does not trust people easily," was all Abelas said, crossing his arms.

"He seems to not trust anyone at all," she replied with a frown.

"You both have enemies. He is cautious in whom he places his trust."

"Whereas I am too trusting?" she guessed, pushing off from the wall and walking a bit more.

"He has mentioned your trusting nature."

"Still, Cullen? Iron Bull? They've been my friends for years."

"One is a former Ben-Hassrath and has apparently made 'comments of an inappropriate nature' on some occasions. And Cullen Rutherford is clearly in love with you."

She fixed Abelas with a look and he narrowed his eyes at her in response.

"Don't pretend otherwise, my lady. I saw him with you. He put a flower in your hair. At one point he said, 'If you were my wife…' far too passionately for a mere friend. And he could hardly take his eyes off you the entire evening. It did not escape my notice either that his arrival coincides with your partner's absence."

She bit her lip. She had noticed the intimacy of the gestures and thought them a step too far herself. After a few letters and some distance she had hoped time might have helped him move on. "I had hoped that was no longer the case. I just wanted my friend back. Cullen… He was there for me when I was going through a difficult time after Solas left. I know he doesn't agree with me on some of my choices, but he's always been a friend when I needed one. I believe him when he says he came because he was worried about me. I didn't… I couldn't… It was a difficult time," she finished quietly, clutching her arms to herself protectively.

"And perhaps you are correct and he is merely acting the friend in this case. Still, the timing of his arrival when your partner is not present does pose questions. Be careful, my lady. A righteous man in love is a dangerous creature." Abelas paused. "How do you feel? Are the contractions still coming?"

She put her hand on her belly. "They seem to have eased," she sighed in relief. "It was only false labor then. Sorry for waking you."

Abelas held up a hand. "There is no need to apologize. You were right to ask for aid. You can always call on me, day or night."

"Thank you, Abelas." He escorted her back to her room and she bid him good night. "And Abelas." Pausing, he turned back to her. "There is no need to worry about Cullen."

He mulled over his response, leveling his gaze with hers. "As you say," he replied, giving a small bow before pivoting and returning to his room.

"You seem to be enjoying the walk," Cullen commented, brushing aside a dew-covered branch.

"I am," she said, turning to feel the morning sunshine on her face. "I actually went into false labor last night-"

"-What?! You're in labor?!" he asked, his voice unnaturally high as panic set in.

"False labor. Nothing to worry about. I just need to walk around a bit and keep drinking water. Really, Cullen," she chuckled, shaking her head at him. "I never thought you would lose your head at the idea. I can't believe I let you lead my forces if you're going to be thrown so easily."

"Armies I can handle. Childbirth… I haven't the slightest clue what to do. I'd be utterly useless."

"Oh, don't worry. I've helped deliver plenty of babies before. It's a breeze."

He balked at her. "What? How can you say that?"

"Did I say a breeze? I meant to say one of the most terrifying experiences life has to offer."

He laughed and she smiled. "That sounds about right from what I've heard."

"It can be pretty rewarding though," Lavellan commented, stepping over a stick. "I remember when my friend Liddy gave birth to her first baby. It was also my first time helping the keeper in the tent. But I got to wrap the baby up and clean her off before handing her to her mother. The look on Liddy's face after all that… It was wonderful."

Cullen studied her for a moment. "And how are you feeling, knowing what's coming?"

"I guess I have some mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, for some it's one of the most wonderful moments in the world. And for others… it's the worst," she said quietly. She had told him about her mother's death, though it was never a subject she shared many details on. "And I suppose for some, it may be both."

"You must be nervous. I know I would be."

She tilted her head from side to side. "I'm not sure nervous quite covers it. Maybe pure dread? With a tiny bit of hope? That seems more realistic."

"Where is that unending optimism?"

That brought a smile to her face. She patted the sides of her hips. "I guess I must have left it back in another pair of trousers. This dress doesn't even have pockets," she said in jest. Truthfully, it had been several weeks since she had last been able to fit into her old trousers and breeches.

"It is strange seeing you in a dress, I must admit. Not that you don't look lovely. Because you do. Look lovely, I mean." His cheeks turned pink and he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away uncomfortably.

"That's very kind of you. I like your clothing as well. The jacket suits you as well as the armor."

"Do you think so? It still feels odd for me, walking around without armor on. I've worn some version of it all my life. First as a templar, then as the commander of the Inquisition. Without it, I feel…"

"Lighter?" she suggested with a grin.

He chuckled. "Yes. In more ways than one, I suppose."

"Well, consider yourself lucky. I've never felt so heavy before. It's like I'm lugging around a small planet." She put her hand on her belly.

Cullen glanced at her stomach and shook his head. "I still can't believe you're having a baby. I keep looking over at you and it still surprises me every time."

"Well, it was a bit of a surprise for me too."

"How has the pregnancy been?"

"I guess it's been fine. My throat feels like I'm swallowing fire all the time, I constantly have to relieve myself or vomit, so that's a delight. Sleeping is harder and I ache like an old woman all over. But the baby is doing well. Strong heartbeat. Kicks all the time. There was a scare a while back, but everything has been okay since then."

"What do you mean?" Cullen asked, suddenly concerned.

"Did Leliana tell you about the dragon attack? Outside of Kirkwall?"

He shook his head. "No. She mentioned they had a difficult time getting you out of Kirkwall and something about letters being intercepted. If memory serves, your partner even wrote to me out of desperation, I'm assuming. But there was never a mention in Leliana's letters about a dragon."

"Well, it wasn't exactly a dragon. It was Morrigan transfigured into a dragon. She attacked the ship I was on with Varric and she tried to kill me. I went into the water and nearly drowned. If Solas hadn't arrived in time, I might have died or lost the baby."

Cullen paled. "Morrigan did that to you?" he whispered in disbelief. "Are you certain she was trying to kill you?"

"The fireballs and sharp talons coming at me certainly made it appear that way. But she might have been after something else."

"What do you mean by 'something else'?"

"An object. Powerful and dangerous. But to be honest, I'm not certain. She hasn't been seen since then. Our scouts haven't turned up anything. I honestly don't know what she's after, but… it scares me. I always felt there was something… unsettling about her. But I don't know what she's after and that terrifies me even more." She shook her head, trying not to remember the embrace of icy water as she struggled to swim.

Cullen's face was horrified in silent shock. "I didn't know. I can't believe Morrigan would do something like that to you."

She shrugged, not knowing what else to say. "Let us speak of something else. Something happier. Tell me about Bear. How is his training coming along?"

Cullen's color took some time to return to his face, but he seemed relieved to speak with her once again about a more pleasant topic of conversation. "It's going well. He still doesn't understand dodging, but he's very good at fetch. You should've seen the last stick he brought home. He was so proud of himself, but the thing was so long he couldn't figure out how to get it through the door. I couldn't stop laughing, watching him try over and over." He chuckled and shook his head.

"You should have brought him with you. I'm sure he would have loved a little adventure."

"Oh no, he's far too likely to run off after a squirrel and forget which way home is. No, he's better off with my sister and her children to keep him company. They can run him ragged with all their energy."

"Oh please," Lavellan scoffed. "Bear sulks the moment you leave the room. He hated it when you went off on watchtower duty and left him with me. And we both know he loves me."

Cullen's scarred lip pulled into a half-grin. "Yes, he does," he said quietly. "But it's good to know I'm still his favorite."

Speaking with him and seeing his smile warmed her heart. They walked and talked until she grew tired and needed to sit down to rest. And although a part of her still ached for her partner, it felt nice to have the company of a friend at her side.