Edward Scissorhands Soufflé
Serves up to 12 people. Not recommended for those with allergies or for big babies.
Recipe:
1 messed up Johnny Depp- If he doesn't match this description, blow dry his hair around until it matches the description.
1 Winona Ryder in a blonde wig
A large quantity of gossipy middle-aged women- Put as many as you like. Though, try not to go over 6. They do tend to be annoying.
2 cups of stereotypical clichés from the 1950s and 1980s
1 ¾ cups of artistic genius
4 oz. of creepy music
A pinch of deranged humor
3 tablespoons of romantic tragedy- Do NOT confuse with the suicidal romantic tragedy. Otherwise you'll end up with a bad Romeo and Juliet remake.
1 rich jerk
¾ cups of violence
5 tablespoons of distrust and confusion
A box of lethal weapons. Safety cautioned when handling these.
End mixing with a sad ending and a theater of bawling people.
Put the soufflé in freezing cold temperature for 20 minutes, just to add texture and flavor. After it has been frozen into a rather large ice cube, beat it with a hammer thouroughly, until it cracks.
When it has cracked, leave it alone in a dark room for three years. When you come back, show your family the masterpiece that is the Edward Scissorhands Soufflé! The final product should look like this:
(A picture of a very ragged loking Edward goes here)
Oh dear… I think we did something wrong… Erm… The alternative recipe is to run down to Blockbuster and rent it for five bucks! Sorry about that.