Chapter 31: Old Wounds Bleed

Lavellan braced herself against the bars of the cell as another contraction hit. Vivienne had put her inside with little ceremony, pausing only long enough to give a look of disgust. Once she was gone and no one else was in sight, Lavellan pulled the orb from her pocket and shrunk it down to the size of a marble. Afraid they would search her, she hid it inside an inner pocket.

The cell was strange. Part of it was cave-like with stalactites hanging from the ceiling. But the rock itself had an other-worldly hue to it, rippling and glittering like opal. The drops of water that fell from overhead were iridescent in color. For a brief moment, Lavellan wondered if she had been drugged or gone delirious, but the place felt… peculiar. Something about it was wrong.

Closing her eyes after a contraction, she tried to focus her mind and enter the Fade, but found she had no connection to it. Whether that was due to Morrigan's spellwork or some other reason that had to do with this odd place, she couldn't be sure.

She tried to focus on her breathing, willing the contractions to stop or at least slow down. This was not the place to have a baby. Now was not the time. Her body had to know that, had to wait just a little longer. One more week. Please, just a little longer. Not here. Not now. She was trapped in a cell, alone, with no one to help her. She couldn't do this. Not alone.

Footsteps came from down the darkened corridor. She looked up to see Fenris, his eyes full of contempt as he crouched down to her level. "The Lady Inquisitor. It has been some time."

"Fenris… Please. What are you doing? Why are you helping them? Varric said you hated mages."

He raised an eyebrow at this and then looked down at his clawed greave, still coated in blood. Taking a cloth from his back pocket, he wiped away the blood. "You're wrong. I do. But I also loved a mage once: Hawke. You remember Hawke, don't you?"

"Yes," she breathed. There was hardly a day that passed when she did not regret what happened to him in the Fade, leaving him to an unknown fate.

He slammed his hand against the bars of the cell and she fell back, scraping her hands on the stone floor. "I thought you'd be flattered, Inquisitor. I'm not here for power or whatever those witches are after. I'm here for you." His fist clenched around the bars and a horrible sound came from the metal grinding against metal. "Varric told me what happened in the Fade. You let Hawke sacrifice himself for you and your friends. Any one of you could have stayed behind, but you chose to let Hawke stay and fight an impossible battle. And now he's gone and you got to live your happily ever after like a hero. But you're not. You're a coward who sacrificed a real hero. You took him away from me. And I will never forgive you for that," he said coldly, sneering at her.

A heavy weight pressed down on her chest at the memory of the Fade. It had been an impossible decision. It broke her heart to look at the man before her now, burdened with the pain of loss for her choice. "I'm so sorry, Fenris. I-"

He banged his greaves fist against the cells. "I don't care if you're sorry! I want him back and you're the one who took him from me!" He pounded his fist against the cell door again and she flinched. "There wasn't even a body to bury! I was left with nothing!"

She opened her mouth but then closed it again. She knew what it was like to lose the person you love. To not be able to let go of grief without an answer. "I will find him, Fenris. When the Veil comes down, I will walk with you and we will find him together. I promise."

His lip pulled back into a vicious sneer. "If that is what comes of this world, I will find him myself. Or what is left. I doubt you will have the chance."

"So is that what you're planning with Morrigan? You're going to kill me? Are you going to rip out my heart like you did to all my guards?"

"Not yet. They want you alive. For now."

"So I'm the bait? Is that it?"

Fenris crossed his arms over his chest. "Of course. Morrigan's trap will be ready soon. With no choices left to him, imagine the desperation your husband must be feeling right now? I wonder if he's discovered you're missing yet. When he does, he'll come looking for you. And then you'll get to watch him die."

"No!" A sudden pain came and she put her hand on her belly and she didn't even try to stifle the agonized scream that came from her lips.

Fenris recoiled. "You're in labor."

"Please, Fenris," she begged, gritting her teeth against the pain. "Please, don't do this. It won't fix anything. It will not bring back Hawke. Please, Fenris, you knew him best. Is this what Hawke would have wanted you to become? Do you think he would support this? He told me to tell you he was sorry. I know it wasn't enough. I know that. But please, this will not make anything right."

"It isn't about what is right. This is about revenge," he snarled, pushing himself away from the bars and turning away.

"Don't do this, Fenris! Please…" she called after him, but he disappeared around the corner and she was left clinging to the bars. Gripping her necklace in her hands, she prayed that Solas would somehow hear her across the void and stay away. Whatever Morrigan had planned for him, it left a paralyzing fear in her heart.

Solas watched the retreating shadow of the dragon disappear behind distant clouds. Whatever her purpose, he would discover it in due time. She had not attacked the palace, but the grounds around still burned. Raising his hand up to the sky, Solas cast a spell. The clouds darkened and rain poured down on top of their heads. The fires began to die down as scouts ran to him with various reports of the damage. Ordering his men to untie Cullen Rutherford and take him to the dungeons, he made his way back across the bridge.

He almost sighed in relief when he saw Abelas at the entrance to the castle. But then he saw the arrow protruding from his arm and the grim expression on his commander's face and his heart plummeted into his stomach. "No," he breathed. "No, no, no." He ran to Abelas as fast as his legs would carry him.

Abelas wasted no time. "They took her. They took the idol and the orb as well. I tried, but I could not stop them."

The cold rain beat down upon Solas, soaking him to the bone. "No," he said, his voice strained as if he were drowning. "No, that can't be."

Abelas gripped his ribs in pain. "I'm afraid it is. Come inside. We have to hurry and make a plan."

But Solas could not quite believe it. She could not be gone. She couldn't be. "I trusted you, Abelas. You told me you would protect her."

Abelas's chest caved and he shook his head sadly. "I know. And I failed."

"What do you mean they took her? How? Where could they have taken her?" Solas's throat tightened as panic set in.

"They used the eluvians. Where, I cannot say." From behind Solas's shoulder he caught a glimpse of Cullen and pointed at him. "I suggest we start by asking him," he sneered.

Solas turned to Cullen as panic turned to rage. Grabbing him by the shirt, he lifted him into the air, power radiating off of him as Cullen looked down with terrified eyes. "Where is she?! Where did they take her?" He ripped the gag from his mouth, burning it into ash.

Cullen glanced behind him in terror at the drop from the bridge and then back at the smoldering eyes of the mage before him, wondering which was worse. "I don't know. Morrigan asked for my help, but when I found out she attacked the Inquisitor, I refused to be a part of her plan. It's why I came here, as a warning to help head off the assault. I swear."

Bearing his teeth, Solas pulled Cullen in until the two were practically nose to nose. "You are going to tell me everything you know. And if she is returned safely to me, I may let you live."

As Abelas finished healing his shoulder, he recounted what had happened. "I sent the guards out searching for her. When we found the dead guards, I checked the places I thought she might hide in. I found her being pursued by one of the Dalish: her father. We were chased and he shot me with a lyrium arrow. Almost as if he had learned some tricks from someone with templar skills," he growled, casting an angry gaze at Cullen. The former templar looked away when Solas turned on him, his eyes narrowed in righteous fury. "Her father claimed to want to save her. Apparently Morrigan had promised to perform some spell to free her from the Dread Wolf's curse or some other such nonsense. Another lie it appears she used to manipulate the simple-minded," he said with another sneer at Cullen. "I killed him before he could restrain her. We were almost to the eluvian when the door to your quarters opened and a mage woman your partner recognized stepped out of it. 'Viv' is what she called her. Someone you know from the Inquisition, I take it?"

"I don't believe this. Yes, I knew her. Vivienne. Or Madame de Fer as she preferred. Former Grand Enchanter to the Imperial Court under Empress Celine. A power-hungry woman, but not one that I would have ever suspected of joining with Morrigan. Vivienne resented her for stealing away Celine's favor. What happened?"

"She bound us both and attacked me. I was too weak to fight back. An elf with glowing tattoos and white hair approached us from behind. He had the idol. I am not sure how he obtained it."

"Glowing tattoos? Different from the vallaslin?"

Abelas nodded. "Yes. They glowed like lyrium."

"Fenris? The Champion of Kirkwall's paramour? Why would he be involved with Morrigan?"

Abelas shrugged. "He said little. Perhaps Mr. Rutherford would care to enlighten us as to why. But for now, I'm most interested in where they took her ladyship and the objects they stole. And what their plan is."

They both turned to look at Cullen. Solas crouched down. Seizing Cullen's neck, he resisted the urge with all his might to throttle the man. "Is that why you came to my home in my absence? Were you here to spy?"

Cullen's throat bobbed, but he tried to keep his courage. "I came for her. At first, I was supposed to obtain the layout of the castle. Get a sense of the fortifications and any weak points."

Solas seethed and slammed him down on the floor. "You helped them kidnap her! How could you? She trusted you and you put her in danger!"

Cullen coughed, sucking air with a grimace. "No. I didn't, I swear. That was why I came here first, to find a way to break into the castle and stop you. But then I saw her. I didn't know she was pregnant. She never said anything in her letters. And then she told me what happened with Morrigan's previous attack and I couldn't believe it. But I knew she wouldn't lie to me. I cut ties with Morrigan and her people and stayed with her instead." He hesitated, sweat beading on his upper lip as he saw the anger rising in Solas's eyes. A part of him, the part that loved her, selfishly, didn't care though. "I tried to convince her to come away with me. I knew Morrigan would not be stopped and when she was ready, she would launch her attack. So I told her to meet me back in town. But she never did."

"And that's why you really came back today. Not to warn us. But to save her," Abelas sneered. "How noble."

A familiar, all-consuming rage built within him and he felt himself slipping; all the careful composure he wore like armor breaking apart like fractured clay. Solas could feel it now, stronger than ever: the pull of the Dread Wolf. Falling into dark, all-consuming madness was easy when the hate coursed through his veins like it did now. The tendons on the back of his hands strained as he gripped the fabric of Cullen's jacket with such white hot intensity that it singed the pieces clenched in his hands. He wanted to kill Cullen. He wanted to rip him limb from limb. "You tried to steal my partner away from me. Even after she refused you. And to think I used to respect you."

"I only ever wanted to save her from you. No matter what Morrigan has planned, it is nothing compared to the destruction you intend to bring upon this world. You're still the gravest threat to her, Fen'Harel."

"Yes," Solas said quietly. "I am. She has done everything in her power to help me become the hero she believes me to be. And I have tried to be that man. But you and I know the truth: we are the threat. The difference, between you and I, is that I knew my place and tried to do the right thing. I left. To save her from myself. But I never forgot what I am at my core. I am the one who tore the world apart and destroyed everything. And there is nothing I will not do to get her back."

Cullen glared back at him. "I always knew you were a monster. You hide it well, but I could always tell there was something evil in you."

Solas felt his blood boil and shoved Cullen away from him. "All men are monsters. If you believe you are an exception then you are blind." His nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed at Cullen.

"Tell me where she is or the last thing you will ever see is the monster I truly am."

"I was not lying. I do not know where she is. Morrigan has secrets I was not privy to."

Abelas pulled his dagger from his belt. "If you are lying, know that she may suffer or die because of it. Could you live with that? Knowing you were the reason the woman you loved died a horrible, agonizing death?"

Cullen's face paled. "No. No, she wouldn't. She needs her alive."

"Why?" Abelas pressed his dagger to Cullen's throat.

"To lure Fen'Harel into a trap."

Abelas and Solas exchanged a glance before Abelas turned back to Cullen. "To what end?"

"What do you think? To take his power. The only thing Morrigan has ever wanted."

"You're a fool," Abelas whispered. "If you think this ends in any way with the woman you love alive, then you are deceiving yourself. People who seek power don't care who they have to kill to get it."

For a moment a flicker of panic leapt to Cullen's face. "No. No, she wouldn't hurt her. That was never part of the plan."

"So she said. But if she lied to you about the attack outside Kirkwall, what else could she have lied about? She nearly killed her then. What's to stop her now?" Abelas hissed.

Cullen looked between the two of them, fear flooding his chest. "I will do whatever it takes to save her. I swear it."

Abelas pocketed the dagger and stood. "Let us pray we are not too late."

Solas paced before the window, trying to quell the rage in his heart. "We have to get her back," he said to Abelas.

"And recover the stolen items," Abelas reminded him, peering over his shoulder at Cullen, who was clearly eavesdropping.

"They didn't obtain the sword?" Solas asked.

Abelas shook his head. "No. They did not."

"But the orb is gone?"

Abelas nodded gravely.

A shadow fell over Solas's heart. "Without the orb… Or the idol…" He looked to Abelas, but he did not need to say the words. They both knew what this meant.

"We don't have the power to bring down the Veil without those objects. If we fail, the People…"

"I know. But we have some time. We may yet recover the objects," Solas said, breathing deeply to center himself.

"I'm afraid we don't have any more time," Abelas said, his expression grave.

Solas turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"

Abelas pressed his lips together before answering. "You set the timeline because you wanted to bring down the Veil before her ladyship gave birth. If that is still the case, we have little time left. She went into labor before they took her."

"No. No. No, not yet. We had time. She still has a couple weeks."

"Not anymore."

"Maker forgive me," Cullen swore under his breath.

A weight pressed in on all sides as Solas fought for air. This couldn't be happening. They had been so close. And now she was gone, disappeared into thin air, alone and in pain. He had to reach her. He had to. Placing his hand on the cool window to help him focus, he centered his mind and tried to reach her in the Fade. But no matter how he tried, he could not sense her. Glass shattered as he sent his fist through the window. Sharp edges cut into his skin, but compared to the pain in his heart he didn't even notice. There was little choice left to him now.

"Forgive me, Fen'Harel, but there is a choice we must consider. As terrible as it would be to wait, if we do not bring down the Veil at all, then all our work, all you have done, will be for not. The People will never again return to this world. Only you have the power to save them."

Solas turned to him, anger and agony mixing in his expression. "You would ask me to sacrifice the person I love most and our unborn child to bring down the Veil?"

Abelas hung his head and drew in a long, slow breath. "I know what it is I am asking of you. As someone who has sacrificed love for duty, I know it is an impossible choice. But you let her go before to save the People. If we fail, if we lose you, the cause is lost. If you succeed and bring down the Veil but die in the process, we will not be able to defend ourselves against the Evanuris." He paused, wishing he did not have to say what he must. "If you let her go, she may have the baby and survive. Or they might die. But Morrigan's plan will fail."

"And it will only cost everything," Solas finished for him, his voice sharp like a razor despite its quietness.

Abelas shook his head sadly. "It is a regrettable cost."

A muscle in Solas's jaw twitched as his anger rose. "Do you know what she is going through right now? She is in pain, alone, terrified, and powerless to stop what is happening to her. I do not need her to be close to know that. That will be the last thing she feels if she dies. I cannot let that be her fate. She is the hero Thedas deserves." He looked down at his bloodied hand and a tear fell onto the back of his thumb. He hadn't realized he was crying. The old elven phrase came to mind: the healer has the bloodiest hands. Raising his head, he looked Abelas in the eye and a thousand years of pain stretched between them in a moment of quiet understanding. "I will not turn my back on those who need me. Alert everyone: the Veil will fall by the break of dawn. Evacuate Skyhold to Mercy's Rest immediately. Send word to the remaining members of the Inquisition. Tell them all that has happened. Spare no details. We will need their aid to stop Morrigan."

"How do you plan on stopping her? Or finding her for that matter?"

"She has lain a trap for me. If that means what I think it does, then she wants me to find her. But I will need help if I'm going to walk into her trap."

"Is that why we are sending for the former Inquisition members? To help aid you in stopping her?"

Solas shook his head gravely. "No. You will need them. To stop me."

Abelas's lips parted, but then he closed them and nodded in understanding. "So it has come to this? After all we have done to try and prevent it?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it has. You will need to fetch the sword. It will be necessary, in the end." Solas spoke with calm determination. He had always suspected it would end this way, despite his attempts to avoid it.

Abelas looked at the man before him, his friend, and one like him who understood the weight and burden of their cause and the sacrifice he was now making, and grimaced at the thought of what was to come. "I do not know if I can wield it," he said with a heavy heart. "We have come so far together. Please, do not ask it of me."

Solas laid his uninjured hand upon his shoulder. "I know. Mala suledin nadas, lethallin. But I must ask you for another favor. Whatever happens, please, please do everything in your power to save my family. And if you cannot raise the blade that must cut me down, give it to the man who will," he said, turning his gaze on Cullen with a heavy heart.

Confused, Cullen glanced between them. "I don't understand."

Solas crossed the room to stand above him, looking down on him with bitter loathing. "In time, you will. I have the blade that Samson wielded, as Knight-Commander Meredith did before him. It is made of red lyrium from the same idol Morrigan's people stole from me this night. It may be the only chance we have at stopping the Dread Wolf. You may just get the chance to kill me after all." With that, he turned his back on Cullen and nodded to Abelas.

Striding purposefully from the room, he headed past the bloodied halls to his quarters where he opened his partner's trinket box and pulled from it a crystal that pulsed with magical light. "Dorian," he said, bringing the crystal to his lips. "Dorian, wherever you are, please…" he faltered, shaking his head momentarily. "I need your help. Lavellan is in danger. And I cannot save her."