Announcing
I spent most of my time thinking about Lucius and the little time that I had spent with him. It seemed so cruel that we could meet, barely twice a year regarding how much I felt for him and (I'm sure) how much he felt for me. We wrote letters, oh yes. He sent beautiful letters, fantasies of us meeting again, us talking.
Never once did he mention anything about the relationship I was so longing to have with him. Not once did he mention that he liked me more than he should and what was proper, but somehow, it seemed to go unsaid.
Bella wasn't having any of it. She now had confessed that she fancied Lucius and (rather meanly) kept on saying when I objected that there was no relationship with Lucius that she would just have to take him for herself.
"If you're not interested…" she would say, laughing when I objected, saying in innocent tones, something like, "Oh but Cissa! I thought you weren't interested!"
I can't say that it didn't infuriate me a little. In some ways I was more mature than her, the big sister. In some ways she was so wise of the world, acting like only she new best. When she was in a Lucius mood she was different.
When she was in a Lucius mood, she didn't act like herself at all. It was like a whole new person was talking about this man. My man! To tell you the truth, it angered me. It shouldn't have. I should have gone to Bella's room and yelled at her that she could have him, if only I had known what he was like.
Lucius changed me. I don't know if it was his letters or the rare times that I saw him that made me change. I just did. It was so sudden; I didn't even know what had happened, until mother pointed it out to me. I was subdued; I didn't talk as much as I had. I locked myself in my room every night to write letters.
It must have been the fourth or fifth time that I saw him that made things really changed. I was seventeen by then, come of age, leaving Hogwarts.
I walk into the Rosier's hall, feeling all the eyes on me as I usually did. This night seems no different, nothing special, but this is the night the truth comes out. This is the night it all changes. We talked it through; it's all planned, to the finest of details. Nothing can go wrong.
That's what they all say. It's bad luck but part of me doesn't want to go through with it.
I saw him immediately, situated by the stairs, watching. For me, I think. Now I just have to get to him, but, "Narcissa dear," someone says close to my ear, spinning me around "Oh hello, lovely, come and talk to me!" Mrs Rosier towed me off to the heart, leaving a pretty put-off Lucius by the stairs. Mrs Rosier is a gossiper. After I had been put through ten minutes of 'that Mrs Dolohov', it was time to talk about the Malfoys.
"Do you know them dear", What are they like", "I saw young Master Malfoy staring at you, you flirt you!" the usual tosh. When I was at last let go, I made my round of the room, looking casual, but straining to find Lucius. Did the Rosier's have a garden, could he be there?
I slipped out, just as I saw Mrs Rosier coming towards me with a delighted look upon her face, like she was cornering a juicy fly.
It was very dark outside. I couldn't see a thing. The light from the party streamed out a certain distance, before petering out a few yards into the grass. I walked along for a bit, not having the slightest clue where I was going before a familiar voice rang out into the darkness a few yard in front.
"Not lost Lady Malfoy?" it asked silkily.
What happened then, I don't want to think about. It was most un-honourable. I should have pushed away and spat on him in the dark, before walking dignified off. But no, I was young and foolish. Definitely foolish
All I can say is, an hour later we went back inside, me flushing and wearing a rather creased dress and him supporting a very smug expression.
We went up the stairs and Lucius, (calling down from the balcony) announced our engagement. It was strange night. I still wonder if it really did happen or if I dreamt it all and am still dreaming a dream that started when I lay asleep in Lucius' arms in the Rosier's garden.
I wish the dream would end and I would awake up to my young self in the garden. I don't want this nightmare to continue.