Disclaimer etc.: see Prologue.
Erm, well, I found it kinda tricky to follow up to the last chapter. Everyone seemed to like it, so (I think I might have said this before!) I hope this doesn't disappoint, 'cause I don't think it's as good…
But hey.
And yay! 'The Impossible Planet' tonight! Rock on!
And again, a massive thanks to everyone who reviewed. –grins and blushes–
Enjoy!
Breath of Life
3 - Linking
Rose…
Go away. I'm tired.
Rose, you have to wake up.
Why?
You know why.
Screaming.
DOCTOR!
>>>>>>>>>
Air.
Rose Tyler suddenly arched up, gasping for oxygen. Her lungs flamed down in an instant from burning pyres to the ashy remnants at the bottom of a fireplace, and she opened her eyes, scanning the interior of the TARDIS.
Where is he?
"Doctor?" she ventured, her voice quavering.
He's not here Rose.
She should have jumped at the sudden voice in her head, but she didn't. It felt oddly right. "Where is he then?"
The TARDIS was silent, but Rose could feel waves of chill blue sadness washing over her. Worry flamed up inside her, and she dragged herself up into a sitting position. "Where is he?" she repeated.
With a faint click one of the viewing screens flicked into life. Rose pulled herself to her feet and paced slowly across to it, drawing the Doctor's long coat tighter around her shoulders. There was no sound, but she didn't need to hear it. The screams already echoed inside her head.
Fire. Blood. Anger. Pain. Grief. Rage. A whirlwind in brown pinstripe. Ripping, screaming, tearing, beating, fighting, killing, murdering…
"Oh God, Doctor no…"
The Oncoming Storm had come, and was casting his ancient name in death.
No, please Doctor, no…
"Why is he doing this?" Rose murmured in shock. "He wouldn't…"
He is doing this because of you.
"Me?"
He thinks you are dead. He is killing those he believes killed you.
"But why?"
The TARDIS's reply was simple. He is heartbroken.
She was speechless, frozen in time and space. Heartbroken? Doctor, no, God no, I'm not worth it…
"But… he can't… He's the Doctor! He can't!"
The TARDIS was silent; grieving.
"He's going mad," Rose murmured. "Insane."
Sorrow. Yes.
"I can stop it." She could. Didn't know how, but she knew that she could. She drew a deep breath, trying to fortify herself. She could smell him, his scent permeating the brown coat slung around her shoulders. I need him. I can stop it.
Yes. You can. But is it too late?
"It's never too late." She slid her arms into the sleeves of his coat. Someone had to be the Doctor.
Rose. Determination.
Doctor. Insanity.
>>>>>>>>>
The being that had been the Doctor but was now something else entirely stood in the middle of a blood-drenched courtyard, it head cocked slightly to one side, listening. There was a faint whooshing noise in the air, barely louder than the echoes of the screams that still hung in its ears. It intrigued it.
TARDIS. That word was connected to the whoosh. How? It didn't know. It couldn't remember.
Rose. That word was connected to TARDIS too, but also to many others. To doctor, to london, to human. To beautiful. To Love.
Puzzlement. Love? What is that?
Nostalgia. It's everything.
The whooshing grew louder, and the faint outlines of a blue box started to appear in the air.
Blue box. Connected to TARDIS. In a descriptive sense.
The blue box slowly solidified, whooshing itself into existence. He focused on it, and could see every crack and dent and bruise in its exterior.
Confusion. Bruise? Boxes can't bruise.
Smugness. This one can.
The box's door was cracked open slightly, pale fingers curling around the edge. A girl slipped out, leaving the door to a different world open behind her.
It frowned. She looked familiar, oddly familiar, as did the brown coat she wore that was too big for her, but no memories were forthcoming. From it at least. Him… Now that was a different matter.
Joy. Rose!
Bemusement. Who?
"Doctor?"
A familiar word. Linked to TARDIS, to blue box. To Rose. But why was she saying 'Doctor' to it? And who was Rose?
"Doctor please. Stop."
Defiance. "Why should I?"
There was pain in her gold-flecked eyes. "Because this is wrong. Please Doctor, you know it as well as I do."
Annoyance. 'Doctor'. Why does she keep calling me that?
Pain. Because it's my name.
Not-quite resentment, not-quite anger. Not any more.
"Stop, please." She was talking again. "This is wrong."
"Wrong? How is it wrong? It is justice."
"It isn't justice! It's murder!" Anguish radiated off her in waves.
"They were murderers."
"That doesn't justify it." Sorrow. Pain. Grief. Why was she grieving? It was the one who had lost. Wait… What had it lost? It couldn't remember. Sorrow, building higher and higher. "You taught me that."
What was she talking about?
Who was she?
And why did it feel that it should be in her place; giving the lecture instead of receiving it?
So many questions. No answers.
>>>>>>>>>
Black eyes.
Not dark eyes, how they should be. Pitch black eyes, scarred by forgotten pain and discarded loss. He didn't even seem to know her, and no emotion flickered in their murky depths.
Rose stepped forward. "Doctor," she whispered. "What's happened to you?"
"I am better."
"Better? How is this better?" With an expansive gesture she indicated the whole of the courtyard, the dead stacked on each other like so many bloody leaves in the autumn. "You've killed them all!"
There!
A flicker of something in the black orbs. Emotion. Just for a fraction of a millisecond. But it was definitely there.
Doctor! she called.
He still didn't answer, but the light flickered again.
Another step closer. "Doctor please." She searched his face. "This isn't you. It can't be. I know you. This isn't."
"I am new. I am better." He was resisting. Or at least something was.
Tears pricked at the back of her eyes. What if it is too late?
NO!
"You don't need to be better," she whispered.
The flicker, longer this time. He was fighting, he was coming back. She nearly rejoiced.
Not yet. Soon.
"What?"
That sounded more like her Doctor.
Her Doctor. On reflected, yes, he was.
"You were perfect just as you were." Her voice was soft, just above a whisper. She looked hard at him. "I'm not dead, can't you see?" She extended her arms, as if to prove she was flesh. "The TARDIS said you did this because of me. Because you thought I died." She was choking back tears. "C'mon, I'm here! I'm alive! Stop!"
Suddenly his face changed, going from coldly hostile and uncaring to shocked and horrified. "Rose, God, Rose." He sounded like he was whimpering, but no. This was the Doctor. Whimper?
"Doctor?" Worried, her voice had jumped an octave.
His hands grabbed hold of her head, holding onto her desperately. "Rose, help me," he choked out, almost collapsing against her.
She grabbed onto him, pulling him up. "Hold on Doctor," she whispered back.
He was shaking, shivering, trembling against her, his breath coming in short bursts, the blackness seeping out of his eyes. "Doctor, what's happening?" she asked, her voice bursting with worry. "Doctor! Tell me!"
tight chest closed eyes falling dipping twisted round up down PLEASE NO DON'T MAKE ME
Rose gasped, her eyes wide. What was that? His hands trembled against her face. "Doctor," she murmured in shock.
hold back tight ropes cutting chains LET ME GO SAVE ME HOLD ME TIGHT alone cold hot too hot I BEG YOU FOR BLACKNESS not enough too much opposites in contradiction
It was him. Inside her head.
Doctor? she asked.
Rose, I'm sorry, I can't stop it, I can't move, I'm so sorry.
She gripped his hands. Hold on Doctor. Just hold on.
so confusing pain agony shooting in circles blue lightning striking killing STOP SCREAMING FOR ME dead moon dead stars forever NO PLEASE TAKE ME DRAG ME DOWN worthless mighty majestic tiny holy blasphemous all and more perfect despicable SKATING AROUND BLACK WHY ME WHY ANYONE
What is this? Rose asked, her mind overwhelmed by pain and fear and grief and madness that held her tight and yet didn't touch her.
This is me. This is my mind.
But…?
held down pulled back violated broken and cast aside makes no sense INSANITY light in circles golden eyes always watching never alone always alone CAN'T UNDERSTAND NEVER COMPREHEND
I can't let go. I'm so sorry Rose. You shouldn't have to know this.
Rose was vaguely aware of both their bodies shaking, shivering, trembling in the dead and rubble beside the TARDIS, but all that was clear was the chaos and pain inside the Doctor's head.
black and blue darkness drag me in screaming TAKE EVERYTHING TAKE MY SOUL TAKE THE STARS
Doctor?
I'm sorry.
broken bruised cut bleeding not defeated YOU CANNOT HAVE HER I WILL NOT LET YOU! ROSE!
Calm.
Silence.
Two bodies, intertwined, unconscious amidst the dead.
>>>>>>>>>