Hello, it's me again. Sorry (again) for the delay, I was very sick and my parents wouldn't let me on the computer (my mum thinks it's gonna kill me or something).
So yeah. Thank you again, again, again to all the lovely, wonderful people who review (you are amazing!). And yes.
Enjoy my offering. -grins- Me be bonkers today.
Breath of Life
6 - Fighting
His voice echoed in the corners of her mind. Rose. Her name, whispered with such pain and hope and something else entirely that she shivered; an icy finger tracing its benevolent way up her spine.
"Doctor?"
Let go.
She squeezed his hand, slightly confused, and her heart leapt when she felt him squeeze back. But she could somehow feel his reluctance.
Rose, don't.
"Don't what?"
Don't help me. You have to stop.
"But… Doctor." He was pushing her away. Now, when she needed to help him for her own sanity. How could he?
Her heart. Breaking. Again.
"Why?"
It's hurting you. I can't let you hurt yourself because of me.
She frowned. "What?"
He was silent for a second. Rose, please. You have to let go of me.
"Doctor, I won't!" She was angry now, oddly angry. "I won't let you go!"
Rose! Listen! If you hurt yourself just for me… He faltered. I won't know what to do. Just please. Let me go, just for a second. I'll be right here; I'll be with you soon. Please, trust me.
It was the words 'trust me' that did it. She did. How could she deny him?
"You'd better know what you're doing," she whispered, her voice rich with unspoken depths, her hand reaching out and stroking his forehead. "You're not allowed to leave me. You promised."
I know. I did. A faint hint of a smile, gracing the curve of his perfect lips. I won't. Now please. Let go.
Rose was piercingly aware of the fact that this could be the last time she ever saw him; saw him with his face like this. If he regenerated again she would stay; she would never leave; but it would be hard. It hurt her deeply, but at the same time she knew that helping him was hurting her. She was tired; so tired. And he wouldn't want her broken. He needed her whole.
"Don't leave," she whispered. She leaned forward and brushed a feather-soft kiss onto his thin mouth, her eyelids fluttering shut at the satin-soft whisper of flesh against flesh. "Come back to me, my Doctor," she murmured against his skin. "Don't ever leave." His mouth was slightly open, and she felt something twist inside her that wasn't her as her warm breath whispered between his lips. "I love you Doctor," she murmured, finally voicing the fire inside her. "I love you with all I am and ever will be. You left me once. Please, never again."
She squeezed his hand once more, and then let go.
>>>>>>>>>
Shock and delight, twisted together through his mind.
I love you too. My Rose. My life. My love.
She didn't hear him, but she knew.
>>>>>>>>>
The gold vanished, and the black ripped into him.
He screamed in silence, his thin body convulsed by the pain. Streams of unintelligible ravings assaulted his ears, the madness trying to creep in.
No!
She kept him strong, her touch fresh on his skin, her scent weaving around him. The memory of her barely-kiss, brushing across his lips. Her voice, whispering three words he should never have heard. His voice, murmuring the same in return into empty psyche, burdening her with something she should never have to carry.
Stay strong. Stay safe. For Rose.
He was the Doctor. He had fallen, but he dragged himself back. If anyone could do it, it was him. That he knew.
That she had taught him.
Wait…
It wasn't all him. He had help.
Rose! I told you!
There was no reply, but he knew that there couldn't be. The gold was gone; the gold was the Bad Wolf; the gold was Rose.
It's her! I know it is!
A touch, a breath. Ghosting into him, bolstering him.
Breath of life. Oh Rose. You're brilliant!
A smile crossed his lips. She couldn't just leave him. She had to help, even if she didn't actually know that she was helping. It felt different to have someone to fall back on; he'd travelled in seclusion for too long.
Rose. Hold on. I'm coming!
>>>>>>>>>
He was smiling, and it confused her.
The Doctor was in agony; she could tell. But he still smiled, the grin she knew and loved stamped firmly on his face.
Rose sighed, and her fingers twitched, wanting to hold onto him, wanting to touch him. But he had told her not to, and she would obey that.
No. That was wrong.
He had asked her not to. Not told. Almost as if she was his equal, when she knew that she was anything but. At least, in her opinion. She didn't know what he thought.
But she dared to hope.
Her own lips curved into a melancholy smile to match a shadow of his, and she drew herself up onto his bed, curving herself against him, fingers and knees and hips and forehead just brushing against him, never really touching.
My Doctor. She closed her eyes. Please. Come to me.
>>>>>>>>>
There was a light, a tiny blinking flickering star that hung above him.
He studied it through a haze of black and malicious green, his forehead furrowed in thought. He ignored the pain, the ravings, the insanity. Her breath kept him strong; a tiny part of her threading through him.
That's it. My way back.
To her.
He closed his eyes, and let his walls fall, letting in the razor sharp colours that tore at his mind. Agony was all he knew for an instant.
Then he breathed in, drawing her deeper.
Rose.
He began to pull the tiny blinking speck towards him, not moving through the tunnel but yanking the light at the end towards him. He was the Doctor, and civilisations moved around him. It was his life.
But it hurt; hurt so much.
Come. On. Inside his head he hissed words of anger, annoyance, frustration; goading him on, forcing him to forget the pain. Come. On. You can't leave her! Come On!
It was coming closer, he could feel it; the brightness and calm brushing against his burning face like the soothing caress of her fingers. So close, almost close enough to touch…
Come on!
Then calm, peace. For now at least.
The pain would come again.
The madness was always in the back of his mind.
But he could feel her; holding him close but never touching him. He ached for the simple press of skin on skin; her hand in his; her body against his in a tight hug full of joy and relief.
The Doctor smiled.
The crazed world of his twisted mind was caged again.
He was inside the white.
The brightness was the final barrier between them.
>>>>>>>>>