Disclaimer etc.: see Prologue.
More horrible school kept me working this week, and I was sick, so sorry about the delay. And my computer wouldn't let me get this up so...
And I can also feel my Doctor Who withdrawal symptoms starting, even though there's still a few episodes still to go. -coughs- not enough want more -coughs-
The BBC are very annoying.
And as always, thanks to everyone who reviewed. You are so amazing.
Enjoy.
Breath of Life
7 - Promising
The Doctor reached out into the brightness, and perception flooded his senses. He could see his body, laid out on his bed, Rose asleep next to him, waiting. The room smelt of sweat and grief and tears and fear. He reached out to Rose, but the white contracted around him, drawing him back.
Away from her.
"Rose!" he yelled out, disbelieving. "Let me go to her!"
not before you promise.
His face was twisted into a mask of anger and bewilderment, the two emotions fused together by burning passion. "Promise what? What are you?"
we are you. you must promise.
"Promise what!"
never to hurt her.
He calmed; hung still. Guilt in his mind. "I can't promise that," he whispered. "Anymore than I could promise Jackie I'd keep her safe."
not in the physical sense. we know you cannot promise that. in the mental.
"Why would I hurt her?"
in the name of keeping her safe. you must promise not to keep her isolated from you any more. we know that you will entertain the idea of not verbally telling her that you love her, to keep things as they are. we cannot allow this.
"I've already told her once," the Doctor replied to himself.
she didn't hear. she has to hear it.
"But… she's human." What does that have to do with anything? he thought.
yes. human, and vulnerable. so was Reinette. you let Reinette. why not Rose?
He closed his eyes briefly. "Because Rose is different."
she's still human.
"Rose is not Reinette! Rose is better!" He nearly yelled the words, and he was surprised at his own vehemence. "Reinette had a different destiny," he said softly, knowing that the voices already knew. "Rose's destiny lies parallel to mine. Connected with mine."
that doesn't make her better.
"No," the Doctor admitted. "It's the fact that she's just… Rose. That's what makes her so much better."
The voices, apparently, ignored him. is it because she travels with you? then what about Sarah-Jane?
"No. Not because she travels with me. And Sarah-Jane is just a friend now." He sighed. "Once, she might have been something more. Not now."
just a friend. we can accept that. but you haven't explained what makes Rose better.
"That's 'cause I don't know!" The Doctor pushed back at the brightness. "Let me out! Let me go to her!"
The white held. promise.
"Haven't I already?"
no. promise.
"I promise!"
what do you promise?
"God, who are you, my mother? I promise I will tell Rose the truth!" He paused. "And don't ask what truth! You damn well know!"
A pause.
we accept your promise.
"Let me go then! Now!"
They released the walls.
He left, running, like a bat out of hell.
>>>>>>>>>
Perception was back again, the smell of sweat, the feel of rough cotton against his bare back, the taste of the TARDIS on the air, the sound of the creak of the bedsprings as he shifted slightly. The sight of his beautiful Rose beside him.
The air left his lungs in a whoosh of air as he breathed again, and it felt so good. He flicked his tongue against his teeth, which (oddly) no longer felt strange.
He sighed happily. I'm back, he thought. I'm back.
>>>>>>>>>
Rose was dreaming.
Faces flashed past her, familiar and strange. People she'd met with both of her Doctors. Well, 'both'. They were one, they just had different faces.
Lynda-with-a-'y', Gwyneth, Clive, Sir Robert.
Mickey, Jack.
All she could see, dead or dying or vanishing into emptiness. People she knew, people she'd never met, people she'd bumped into in the street for a split-second. Their faces and deaths flashed before her, jarring her with their screams.
And then him, two perfect faces blurring into one, screaming for ever and ever but never dying. Just hurting. My Doctor… The words trailed off into emptiness. My Doctor.
"Rose. Open your eyes."
His voice! Whispering to her. Telling her to wake. How could she refuse?
"My Doctor." Her lips moved in sync with the words in her head; just a murmur.
"Rose."
She opened her eyes.
>>>>>>>>>
The first thing he noticed was that her gaze was still flecked with iridescent gold. Tiny pinpricks of fire glowing up at him, boring into him. "Rose," he repeated, his voice husky with ill-use. He wasn't used to quiet.
Her fingers stroked against his damp cheek, the beginnings of a smile tracing her lips. "Doctor. You came back."
He grabbed her in a tight hug, feeling her bury her face in his neck, holding her tight. "Of course I did," he whispered. "I promised you."
Her fingers tightened against him, digging groves into his skin. "You left me before."
"I know," he replied. "And I'm so sorry." His arms pulled her impossibly closer, crushing them together. "And I tell you now, never again."
He felt a sob escape her lips. "I was so scared."
He closed his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry."
She didn't reply, but her arms tightened possessively around his waist. He dropped his chin onto the top of her head. "You saved me."
She smiled. "How did I save you?"
His lips curved a grin. "My amazing Rose," he said softly.
He felt her laugh softly. "That's not an explanation."
"No, it's an excuse."
Another laugh, and her arms pulled him tighter, her face dipping harder against his neck. "My Doctor. Oh, my Doctor. It's you."
He stiffened almost-imperceptibly. Her Doctor? Yes, he supposed he was.
Oh, why did he have to feel like this? She shouldn't have to be burdened with him, not now, not ever. At some point he would change more than she could handle, and she would leave. And he couldn't handle that, and it would tear her apart as well.
The voices had made him promise to tell her, to not keep going like this. And he supposed that it would be better for them both for him to finally dig up the courage to talk.
But for him, running was more natural than courage.
And promises were made to be broken.
>>>>>>>>>