A Minish-scule Problem
By Pata Hikari
Chapter 1: A Fun "Festival"
"Here you go little girl."
"Thank you mister!" Malon giggled, taking the massive lollypop. She licked the huge red and white candy.
Today Malon was the very image of "adorable little girl." She was wearing a lacey white dress, her shining red hair tied back in a pony tail. She giggled as she licked her lollypop.
It was the Day of Minish, and Malon was taking every advantage she could.
Nearby, unsuspecting to all, were two other people. Two girls… well, at least one's guaranteed to be a girl.
"Why am I carrying the bags?" Kasuto asked.
"Because you're taller." Zelda said in a sing-song voice.
"But you're stronger!" Kasuto complained.
"So?" Zelda giggled, "You lost the coin toss."
"Damn you." Kasuto muttered.
Malon spotted her two friends, quickly dashing over to them. "Hiiiiii guys!" She waved.
Zelda's eyes lit up, "Oh! Malon!" She smiled, "Um… what are you doing?"
"Urk…" a faint blush formed on Kasuto's face. "So… cute…"
"Huh?" Malon blinked in an adorable way, "What's wrong Kasuto?" She gave her lollypop a lick.
"Gnn…" Kasuto turned away, "You're going to give me diabetes!"
"Oooohhhh…" Malon giggled, "Well, you know the trick, don't you?"
"The… trick?" Zelda started at the girl.
"The cuter you are… the more candy you get!" Malon squealed.
"Cuter?" Zelda asked, her tone flat.
"Candy?" Even Kasuto got over the cuteness overload for a moment.
"…" Malon sighed, "Come on people! It's the Day of the Minish!"
Both Zelda and Kasuto fell over at the stupidity of it all.
"You dropped your bags." Malon said.
Zelda got up, "Aren't you a little old for this?"
"Day of the Minish…" Kasuto scrambled up, picking up the bags. "Man I forgot all about that."
"I was like, eight when I decided I was too old…"
"Oh man… it was the only time of the year I got sweets…"
Malon sighed as the two began to talk.
"Really… Mr. Lon still lets you run around at the age of twelve?"
"There was this one year this Harinco baker swung by… he made the sweetest cakes you've ever seen!"
"I mean… really… it's an embarrassment."
"It was chocolate with the best vanilla filling ever."
"Why are they even giving it to a kid as old as you?"
"And then there was the Zora with some awesome saltwater taffy."
"Are you two done?" Malon asked, tapping her foot.
"Huh?" Both of them looked at Malon, who folded her arms and glared at them.
"Now... tell me…" She leaned in close, "Who am I to refuse free candy?"
"Actually acting your age?" Zelda suggested dryly.
Malon laughed, "Silly, silly, Zelda." She shook her head, "The Day of the Minish is a very special day for me… because…" She thrust out the hand not holding the sugar-on-a-stick out in a "Victory" sign. "It is also my birthday!"
"…" Kasuto stared, "So you're thirteen and still begging for candy."
"You guys are mean." Malon said flatly.
"Wait… it's your birthday?" Zelda asked, "Why didn't you tell us? We could have gotten you presents!"
"Well… I forgot… to tell the truth." Malon scratched the back of her head and giggled sheepishly. "Everyone but you two knew about it… and well… they've all been busy…" She laughed, "Well, all is forgiven now huh?"
"Yeah…" Kasuto sighed.
"Hey… what do you think of the dress?" Malon did a cute little twirl, "It was a gift."
Kasuto blushed again, "Damn it Malon… stop acting adorable…"
"It's very nice." Zelda smiled, "Who gave it to you?"
"The Minish." Malon said cheerfully, taking another lick of her lollypop.
"…" Zelda and Kasuto stared at Malon.
"Oh what is it now?" Malon placed her hands on her hips, taking care to keep her dress from getting sticky.
"You… still believe in the Minish?" Zelda giggled, "No wonder you go around asking for candy still!"
"Hey!" Malon whined, "What's wrong with that! If they didn't give me this dress, then who did?"
"Your dad, most likely." Kasuto said.
"Really… really mean." Malon muttered.
"Come on Malon…" Zelda shook her head, "You really think tiny, invisible people that only 'good boys and girls' can see come into your house and give you a gift?"
"Yes. Yes I do." Malon said seriously, "Because I saw them once… I was nine…" She smiled in nostalgia, "I woke up in the middle of the night… and there they were! They wore cute little green robes with the cutest red caps. Oh… and the tails were so adorable!"
"…" Kasuto rolled her eyes, "Malon… what you probably saw was a dream. Or maybe just your imagination going wild." They both knew that it probably didn't take much to set off Malon's imagination.
"Oh come on… it's the Day of the Minish is Castle city!" Malon shouted, "A time of wonder! Feel the spring air!" She beamed, licking her lolly.
"It's for children." Zelda sighed.
"Did you know," Malon ignored Zelda's comment, "That the Day of the Minish was once celebrated as a full fledged festival? It was a great time… all the kids got this cool stuff…"
"Anyway…" Zelda rolled her eyes, "Tell you what. How about we head back to my place and we can do something about your birthday?"
"Sounds fine to me!" Maple said chipperly.
"Finally… I can put away the bags…" Kasuto muttered.
"Hiiiii! Mr. Lilla!" Malon waved to Edward, who smiled.
"Well, good afternoon Miss Lon. How are you?" He nodded at the girl, "Don't you look adorable."
"Thank you." Malon pulled out a peanut butter cup, swallowing it in one bite. "It's my birthday."
"Well, then Happy Birthday." Edward chuckled. Such a sweet girl.
"Candy, please." Malon held out the hand not clutching the lollypop as large as her head.
"Huh?" Edward blinked, "Aren't you a little old for this?"
"You're never too old, Mr. Lilla." Malon said seriously.
Edward just chuckled, "Well, sorry Miss Lon. I'm afraid I don't have any candy."
"Nertz." Malon kicked the ground softly.
"There you are!" Kasuto ran into the room, "Are you bugging Dad?"
"Of course not." Edward patted Malon on the head, "I was just wishing her a happy birthday." Malon stuck her tongue out at Kasuto.
"Well come on. Bother parents later." Kasuto grabbed Malon by the arm, dragging her away.
The first thing they did was swipe some cake from the kitchen and give to Malon. Then Zelda had dragged Kasuto to the other room to talk to her.
"So, what are we going to do for Mal's birthday?" Kasuto asked.
"We'll get her some Focus Earrings." Zelda said casually, "Nayru knows the girl needs them."
"Oh. I've wanted a pair for a while too…" Kasuto smiled, "They look useful…"
"Wait for your birthday." Zelda smiled gently. "But before we do that… first comes the more important fact." She smirked, "Revenge." Zelda laughed at Kasuto's confused look, "Remember a month ago? My birthday?"
Kasuto's eyes widened, "Oh… that…"
"Happy birthday Zelly!" Malon handed Zelda two gifts, one larger then the other.
"Thanks Malon!" Zelda grinned widely, tearing into the larger gift's wrapping paper. The larger gift was a board game, one Zelda has never seen before.
"It's magical." Malon smirked.
"Cool." Zelda put it to the side, looking at the second, smaller gift. It was a book… with no title. "Um… what is it?" She pulled open the book… and her face turned beat red about ten seconds later. "Gah…gah…gah…."
"What's wrong?" Kasuto leaned over Zelda's shoulder… "By the gods!" She looked away.
"Huh?" Edward gave her new book a glance… "By Din…" His face turned red, "My father gave me a copy of that on my wedding day!"
Harikan pulled the book out of his comatose daughters hand, "I think you're a little young for this…" He glanced at Malon… wondering where the hell she had gotten the book… and who he needed to have arrested for selling it to a little girl.
"Exactly." Zelda nodded, "Now… the question is…" She grinned broadly, "How to get back at her?"
"Zel… one problem with your plan." Kasuto said, "It is impossible to embarrass Malon."
Zelda paused, "Good point." She sighed, "Well… now what?"
"Well…" Kasuto closed her eyes in thought, "How about we try something with her little belief in Minish?"
Zelda blinked, "Really? What do you have planned?"
Kasuto grinned evilly, "Well… all it would take…"
Malon's ears twitched.
"Who's there?" She spun around… total silence. The room was empty. "OK…" She stood out of her chair, taking care to pick up her lollypop. "Zelda? Kasuto?"
Nothing.
Malon shrugged, grabbing the remainder of her cake and downing it in one bite. "Huh?" She looked down at the ground… there was a tiny red cloth on the ground. "A… hat?" She picked it up. It was! "A Minish hat!" Malon squealed, "Cool!" After all these years… proof had just been lying down in the castle! She looked to her side… another hat!
"Thank you…" Malon whispered to the heavens, cheerfully discovering a trail of hats.
"Target sighted." Zelda said, grinning as Malon picked up the miniature hats, cheerfully skipping in front of a large rose bush.
"Pretty good spell there, making all those little things." Kasuto commented.
"Ready?" Zelda chuckled.
"Ready." Kasuto smirked.
Then… Malon vanished.
"Guh?" Kasuto blinked, "Where'd she go?" She ran over to the spot where Malon had been standing just moment before, "Malon! You here?" She shouted, "OK Malon, it's not funny!" The Gerudo sighed, turning to Zelda again, "Zel… where do you think she-"
Zelda stared at the empty space that should be filled with Kasuto and Malon. "Ummm…." She took a single step foreword, "Guys? Malon… Kas?" She shivered as a cold breeze washed over her. "Hello?" Zelda shuffled over to the rose bush, "You there?" She touched a white rose…
"Zelda! Zelda! Come on Zel! Listen to me!"
"Who's there?" Zelda's head snapped to the left and right.
"Come on Zelda! Can't you hear us? Use those Hylian ears!"
Those voices sounded familer… "Kasuto? Malon?"
"It's about time! Look down!"
"Eh?" Zelda glanced down, there were two red dots on her left foot. She leaned down closer…
"Um… hi?" A very small Kasuto waved.
"Hi Zelda!" Malon jumped up and down, "Apparently we're roughly the size of an apple seed!"
"…" Zelda sighed, "This is not happening. I'm dreaming. I must be. Any moment now I'll wake up and make breakfast."
"At least my candy is safe!" Malon pulled out that large lollypop and began licking it again.
"Glad to see you're so concerned Malon." Kasuto glared at the girl, "But you do realize that we're small enough to get eaten by pretty much anything?"
"OK, Zelda, wake up now." The princess muttered to herself, "Wake up!"
"Um… I don't think that's possible." Malon said quietly, pausing to lick her candy.
"Huh?" Zelda looked up, "Malon! You're normal again!"
"Not exactly." Kasuto said, "It's more like you shrunk too."
"Shrunk?" Zelda frowned, "But that's-"
It was around this point that Zelda realized that the rose bush was more like a rose tower.
"…" Zelda sighed, "Damn it." She tapped her foot against the ground. (Noticing for the first time how much space there was between each strand of grass) "This has to be a dream. No other explanation."
"Magic?" Malon suggested from behind her sugar.
"No… this is too spontaneous for it to be magic…" Kasuto sighed, "To put it simply: to fit our spirits into a smaller version of our body would require a complex form of magical compression. Not only that but to perfectly shrink every part of our body? Impossibly difficult. Hours of preparation is needed to do something like this for one person, let alone three. And then there's the fact that magic can only create matter, not destroy it. You'd need a place to store it all if you wanted to un-shrink the person later without having to rebuild them a new body."
"In other words it's hard to shrink someone." Malon shrugged, "Well, doesn't matter much how we got like this." She reached into her pocket, pulling out a couple chocolate squares and promptly shoved them in her mouth. "We just are," Malon added with a full mouth, "and we need to deal with it." She swallowed the chocolate.
"At last! You have come!" A new voice announced, "Just like we hoped!" A person ran in front of them. He has the basic human body, with a rounded mouse like face and very large ears. He wore a large green robe that covered most of his body, "We knew that you'd save us!"
"Save… us?" Zelda said slowly.
"You are the Heroes of Time, aren't you?" The small persona asked.
The silence was unbearable.
"Um… no. You're looking for Link, one Hero of Time. Kokiri kid. Wears green like you." Kasuto said flatly.
"Really?" The guy frowned, "Are you sure you're not Heroes of Time?"
"Well… I'm the Time Sage…" Zelda pointed to Kasuto, "She's a Seer…" Her gaze rested on Malon, "And Malon… she's… well… Malon."
"At your service!" Malon stood at attention and saluted.
"Um… will we do?" Kasuto grinned sheepishly.
"Well… you're not heroes…" The guy looked them over, "But I guess beggars can't be choosers. You'll do."
Zelda felt vaguely insulted after hearing that. "OK… can you please tell us why the fucking hell you did this?"
"Oh. I didn't do it." The guy shrugged, "You guys just activated the portal. Which is why I thought you people were, you know, heroes. Instead of some nobodies."
"Thanks for the support." Kasuto sighed.
"Well, anyway, lets go." The guy said.
"Go… where?" Zelda asked, "Because I still think this is a dream, by the way."
"To our village of course. Where the City Minish live." The guy said casually.