Disclaimer: These characters belong to J.K.Rowling; the song lyrics belong to Michelle Branch.

"It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and what's mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time" –Goodbye to you by Michelle Branch

I ran. I couldn't believe what I had just said. It wasn't that I hadn't meant it; I had, just that I knew he didn't want to admit to himself, let alone anyone else.

I couldn't understand why he didn't want me. Was I not pretty enough? Too clumsy? Too selfish? Too loud? I'd do anything to be with him; I'd change if he asked me to. I loved him and wanted him, wasn't that enough?

I thought back to when I had first realised I loved him. It was after I had left St Mungo's after Sirius's death. He'd been there for me all the way. I woke up in the middle of the night the day I got back to headquarters.

FLASHBACK

I sat up in my bed suddenly, I'd dreamed of Sirius's death again. I know it was my fault. I went down into the kitchen in my pyjamas and sat down at the table and started crying.

Then he came in and saw my tears and he came over and held me. I cried for a long time and when I stopped he was there. I looked into his hazel eyes and I knew I was in love with him.

END OF FLASHBACK

I shook my head to get rid of the memory. Weeks later I'd told him how I felt and he'd shaken his head and said it was impossible. He claimed he's too poor, too dangerous and I didn't really love him. I told him that I did but he ignored my protests and left. That's when my heart was broken. I sat on his bed and cried and cried until I didn't have any tears left to cry. After, I looked in the mirror and saw I was in my natural form, I'd tried to change but couldn't. The memory still hurts as much as all the fresh pain.

I ran out into the rain and the darkness.

I stared after her as she ran away, shocked at her outburst. I looked back at Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Molly, Arthur and Fleur and they stared back at me.

"Well, why are you still here?" Molly asked.

"What?" I replied confused.

"Go after her!" they all screamed.

"Why are you all taking her side?" I grumbled under my breath.

"Because she's right," Hermione explained as though it were obvious.

And I left, running after her. A 16-year-old girl made me follow her. I sniffed, trying to smell where she had gone. I could smell her sent. I followed it outside, remembering when I first realised that I loved her.

FLASHBACK

Tired, I slowly walked up the stairs. It was late and everyone was in bed, asleep. I walked past Nymph's room and looked in on her. She was lying in the middle of the bed and I found myself imagining I was next to her, holding her, telling her I loved her, looking into those ever-changing eyes and kissing her and I realised I had never wanted anything more but I knew I could never be with her.

END OF FLASHBACK

I'd told her so when she told me she felt the same. I've seen her Patronus, her hair, her eyes. I've seen a young woman's heart been broken and I've told myself that it was for the best, hating myself for causing her pain. That was the reason we couldn't be together-me and pain.

I finally found her sitting in the mud by the lake, crying again. It seemed that every time I say her she was crying. I touched her arm and she stood.

"Don't-" she didn't finish because I was kissing her, putting everything I felt into it. The love, the need, the desire - and she kissed me back. I forgot everything and saw stars explode behind my eyelids and by the time I came up for breath I was laying in the mud with her on top of me, love shining in our eyes.

Remus Lupin stared over the lake; things had been awkward between him and Nymph ever since that night. He hadn't meant for that to happen, not because he didn't love her but because he knew he would have to tell her they couldn't be together and he was afraid it would break her. He knew how it felt for something to be that close and then snatched away.

He pulled out parchment and a quill and began writing a letter to her, outlining all the reasons they were simply not meant to be.

Dear Nymph,

I know this letter will hurt you greatly; it hurts me to write down these words. I will apologise before I even start and I have never meant the words "I'm sorry" more. I truly am sorry. I am sure you can begin to guess the subject and content of the rest of this letter. So here, once again, are the reasons why.

I am a werewolf and I have hurt people I care about before. Not only am I a werewolf but also the werewolves I have lived with recently will certainly feel I have betrayed the pack and will surely hunt me.

Everyone who has been close to me has died except from Peter, he became a Death Eater. My parents, James, Sirius, Lily, Dumbledore and Debbie have all died. I am as cursed as the Defence Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts. You may say I am being foolish and am not cursed but the evidence says otherwise. I am the last Marauder and the last Lupin.

Even if these things were not so I am poor. I can barely feed myself and the only reason I was safe is because Snape made me Wolfsbane potion. He's gone now and I can't afford the potion and don't know anyone who can make it. I know you say money is not important but money makes the world go round. I can't get a steady job because of what I am.

I will not say I am too old for you because I know you say you do not care. I will, however, point out that we are fighting a war against the most powerful Dark Wizard of all time and our most powerful warrior and leader has been killed by someone we thought was on our side. We now find ourselves in a position where our only hope of surviving this war lies with a 16-year-old wizard who hasn't even finished school. I was in the Order before and I watched Order members be killed off one by one. The chances of us both surviving this war aren't high.

I care about you, and I always will, but I cannot be with you.

Remus J Lupin

Remus put down the quill and rolled up the letter. He went to the owlery and attached the letter to a barn owl's leg. He paused before letting it go. He didn't have to do this. He could be with someone he loved who loved him for him. No, he told himself, he had to do this. He let go of the owl and it flew out the window. He closed his eyes and when he opened them the owl was out of sight.

"No," he heard from behind him, "I won't let you go."

He turned to see her there is the doorway. She was holding his letter and he could see her tears.

"We might die but that's why we should be together. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You may be cursed, I don't believe it, but you may be. At least I would have been able to have been with you. You took the Defence Against the Dark Arts job anyway, didn't you?"

Remus considered it for a while. When he had taken the Defence job it was to protect and be near Harry, to finally meet the only child of one of his four best friends. He also wanted the teaching position for the challenge that it presented in itself. Teaching these children how to protect themselves when they got out into the world, he had seen some of the worst things humans, both Muggle and magical, could do to each other.

As he thought about this he realised just how similar these two situations were. Remus wanted to be near Nymph, to protect her from hurt, even though he knew she could protect herself, and to get to know the real Nymphadora Tonks. It would be a challenge to make it, despite people's doubts, but looking into her eyes he knew he could. He say reflected in her eyes the love and affection he knew were in his own. He could see in them that she would never give him up and realised that, more importantly, he never wanted her to.

"I guess I did…and I guess you're right, about everything."

She smiled and kissed him passionately.

Well, that's it. I think this is now complete. Thank you to everyone who has read this and to everyone who has reviewed, I appreciate it. Keep checking our account as one day we may write some more and most of our other stories include Remus and some include Tonks.

See you around.