Chapter 8: Spirals

Katsuki startles awake. Heart slamming against his ribcage, his body jolts bolt-upright. Tangled around his legs are bed sheets soaked in sweat and the air in the room feels thick and muggy.

The aftermath of the League of Villains kidnapping gave Katsuki plenty of practice with calming himself down from bouts of panic. He forces himself to take deep breaths and to use the common psychological trick of focusing on a physical sensation he can feel. He grimaces when doing so only serves to alert him to the soreness in almost every major muscle in his body.

Once his eyes have finished adjusting to the dim light, Katsuki quickly glances around the room to check for potential threats. Once he has assured himself that he is thankfully alone, he begins to take in additional details from his surroundings. In one corner, there is a desk with neatly organized assignments and course materials. Above it is a shelf with a stack of rock climbing magazines and a selective array of All Might merchandise. The distinctive lack of excessive All Might paraphernalia surrounding him tells him he is back in his own room, a realisation that has his heart rate rocketing up again. Anxiously combing his memories Katsuki confirms that he last remembers watching Deku close the door before he fell into unconsciousness naked on Deku's bed.

He has no idea how he ended up in his own room, in his own bed and – glancing down at himself - dressed in boxers and a t-shirt he is almost positive belongs to Round-Face. It would probably be quite baggy on Uraraka but the pink top stretches uncomfortably over his chest. Katsuki irritably tears it off and throws it over the foot of his bed before he kicks off his sheets and looks at the clock hanging on the wall.

4:34 AM.

He feels sick. Dirty.

Regretful.

Scared.

His entire body aches and his skin is clammy and sticky.

Noticing a glob of white in his peripheral vision, Katsuki raises a shaking hand to his face to investigate. He experiences a wave of nausea once he grasps what exactly the pearly white substance clinging to his eyelashes is. Feels overwhelmed with disgust and shame as he recalls how it got there.

Before he even registers he is moving, Katsuki has hurled himself out of bed and run to the shower. Aggressively scrubbing his skin with a washcloth saturated with foaming body wash only removes the external contamination. The spray of scalding hot water fails to eradicate the feeling of violating hands running over his body. Fails to burn the indignity of being coerced into sex by Deku from the depths of his soul.

Katsuki's early morning run is the most severe it has ever been. The newly renovated athletics track is empty, save for the thrushes searching the grass in the central field for worms or slugs.

Katsuki pushes himself to run further and faster until he can barely stand from overexertion and then he pushes himself some more. He doesn't stop until his body gives out and he collapses in the middle of the track. He feels pitiful but he can't stop now, he has to keep going, he has to prove he's still the best. He let Deku do all those things to him so he didn't have to give up his dream of being a hero and he'll be damned if he fails because he feels tired of all things. His body has one weakness and one weakness only and it doesn't fucking have anything to do with his legs or cardiovascular ability. Ignoring the screaming of his muscles and his swimming vision, Katsuki grits his teeth and wobbles to his feet. He takes a shaky step forward, then another, then another.

He keeps dragging himself around the track until the sun has risen high in the sky and he needs to get ready for school.

His eyes burn when he realises that despite all his efforts, despite the fact he can barely stand, barely breathe and can barely see with the black dots floating across his vision, his routine still was not strenuous enough. He's exhausted. He's pushed himself past the point of pain. And yet it still isn't enough. The screaming of his muscles still can't overpower the screaming in his mind.

Katsuki barely makes it to their classroom before the bell rings.

As he's the last student to arrive, all eyes are on him when he enters. Nonetheless, Katsuki saunters over to his desk and sits sprawled out with his signature glare but he feels like he is putting on a façade, one everyone can see through. He feels like his shame is visible to everyone who looks at him.

Interactions with Aizawa-sensei and the other students that day pass by in a blur. Everything he does or says feels awkward but nobody else seems to notice. He knows he is nodding along and grunting in the right places, even answering questions when called upon, but with each minute that ticks by he seems to have forgotten everything that happened in the minute preceding it.

All day he feels the weight of Midoriya's scrutiny on him. Midoriya's heated and suggestive gaze does not go unnoticed by Aoyoma but Midoriya manages to shrug it off. Katsuki wishes he could do the same.

Watching Midoriya interact with his classmates, Katsuki wonders who Midoriya really is. Is this version of Deku a smokescreen? Was he always just pretending to be kind? Or is that Deku's true nature and somehow I'm the one who brings out the darkness in him?

The threat of exposure means Midoriya is free to take what he likes from Katsuki.

Katsuki remains on edge all evening. He watches the clock tick towards his usual bedtime and then past it. He waits another forty minutes until he decides Midoriya has no need of his services today. He clambers into bed, turns his phone on silent and tries to sleep.

An excruciating scree jolts Katsuki out of his slumber fifty minutes later. Heart pounding he leaps out of bed, eyes wild and palms sparking. He can't see anything in his immediate vicinity in the darkness so he hurriedly switches on his sidelight. Still nothing.

Mouth dry, Katsuki goes to check his window and the corridor outside his dorm.

All is quiet and calm. The low murmur of voices can be heard when he sticks his head outside the door, but it is not unexpected given the time. Many of his classmates stay up relatively late, even on a weeknight. Eventually he gets back into bed. He can't sleep, he's too tense, too on edge.

Fuck.

After another fifteen minutes of tossing and turning he decides he can deal with at least one thing that's bothering him. Quickly pulling on some warmer attire, Katsuki ventures over to the 2F dorm room corridor.

Tokoyami looks vaguely surprised to see him knocking on Midoriya's door but doesn't say anything. It isn't particularly late but by now everyone knows that Katsuki goes to bed extremely early to keep up his grades and physical performance.

Midoriya's face immediately brightens when he sees who it is.

"Kacchan! I'm so glad you came to visit. Come in!"

It is very strange to see Deku back to falling all over himself and nervously twitching and mumbling again. Did I dream about what happened last night? Am I losing it?

"I was just working on ideas for my signature moves using Black Whip. Can you help me?"

He came here to confront Deku. To ask what is expected of him but now he's here he feels wrong-footed.

"Can I…?" Katsuki trails off, at a loss for words.

"Help me! Sometimes another opinion really helps!" Deku's eyes are sparkling and he's looking at Katsuki - well, like he used to.

"Here, you can sit on the chair by my desk and I'll explain what I've been working on, 'kay?"

So Katsuki sits. Saying something now, with Midoriya acting so normal, feels almost inappropriate. Midoriya shows him what he's been working on and what he's been struggling with and lights up when Katsuki gives him so much as a sentence of advice. He's frantically scribbling down all Katsuki's ideas in one of his notebooks, asking questions and adding his own thoughts. Midoriya appears full of energy despite the late hour and keeps jumping up to demonstrate walk-throughs of the moves they've been discussing.

In a weird way Katsuki's starting to enjoy himself. Although their peers generally think of Midoriya as the analytical one, Katsuki has an extremely strategic mind in his own right. He enjoys analysing his opponents' strengths and weaknesses and preempting their battle plans so he can defeat them. Katsuki knows he can be quick to anger and is working on trying to remain more level-headed during battle, because when he doesn't let emotion colour his judgement he knows that his sharp mind usually sets him up well for success during fights. Usually when Katsuki considers Deku's abilities, he thinks about him in terms of how to beat him, so giving him advice about how to improve is a new creative exercise for Katsuki, one that he finds is rather pleasurable.

Time flies by and when they finish Midoriya is brimming with gratitude.

"Thanks for your help Kacchan! I really appreciate it!"

"No problem, nerd."

"It's getting late, you should go and get some sleep. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up so late!"

Katsuki breathes a sigh of relief as he gets up. Maybe last night was it and that was all Midoriya wanted. It's over. It is really over. Fuck, why was he so broken up about it earlier today anyway? Was it because it was his first time going that far? Who is to say that Deku took his virginity anyway? Virginity is just a stupid heteronormative construct anyway. He's Katsuki fucking Bakugo nobody takes shit from him if he doesn't say so. Spirits raised, Katsuki gets ready to leave Midoriya's room. He's looking forward to crawling into bed when he returns to his room.

"Kacchan."

Katsuki pauses with his fingers resting on the doorknob.

"Take this with you for tomorrow."

He turns and to his horror sees a large orange butt plug resting on Midoriya's palm. He freezes. Midoriya is still smiling sweetly, but his eyes have taken on that slightly manic quality he recognizes from when Midoriya first propositioned him.

"Right. I'll put it in for when we meet tomorrow night." Katsuki's voice is coloured with resignation.

"I was thinking more about tomorrow morning? Say…9am?"

"The fuck? I'm not missing class to have sex with you."

"I never asked you to."

"But you just said - " halfway through his sentence Katsuki catches on to what Midoriya was implying.

Grinning, Midoriya nods. "Exactly"

"I don't know why you look so worried. Hiding an erection in class should be quite easy for you, no?"

Fucking Deku.

"Fuck you. I'm already doing enough shit for you. I'm not gonna fucking do that." Scoffing, Katsuki made to turn away. He was stopped by a blur of green lightning. Midoriya used one hand to grab his chin while the other gripped his balls like a vice.

"You will do what I say, Kacchan"

Katsuki gasps as blunt nails dig into his jaw and another hand, one smaller and more scarred than his own, tightly grabs his crotch and twists. His balls ache and his scrotum feels like it's on fire but ironically his length somewhat protects that particular piece of his anatomy.

"Kacchan, why are you being so difficult? Why!?" Katsuki feels more disgust than fear as spit flies from Midoriya's lips and splatters on his face.

"Tch. I won't do it, I won't."

"Oh, but you must Kacchan. I will punish you if you disobey me. You know I will."

The threat of what Izuku would do if Katsuki were to disobey is left unsaid. If this was a physical fight Katsuki would have blasted shitty Deku sky-high but they both know Midoriya's the one with the upper hand in this fight and his tone is serious. Almost deadly. Midoriya lets go of Katsuki's face but his left hand remains fisted over Katsuki's crotch.

Katsuki is in pain – there are tiny indents marking his jaw and the pressure on his testicles signal the increasingly high likelihood of an impending rupture. But what hurts Katsuki most is the genuine fear of having his secret insecurity exposed and its consequences.

He can see from the gleam in Deku's eyes he is more than willing to follow through on his threat. Katsuki already knows that on some sadistic level Deku enjoys hurting him, especially when he hasn't fully consented. Katsuki knows that if he wants to maintain the social status quo and more importantly continue to hide his secret from Kirishima, agreeing to Deku's demands is his only option.

He can't bring himself to say the words though. The last vestiges of his pride are battling valiantly against the negative feelings from last night that came rushing back as soon as Deku presented him with the plug.

Fear wins out.

He feels pathetic and small and scared. All the fight drains out of him.

Another vicious and impatient twist of his balls is all it takes for Katsuki to whimper and acquiesce.

His tipping point was not the pain, but the shame.

Katsuki wakes up earlier than usual to prepare.

He isn't entirely sure how he manages to work the huge plug inside himself. It burned as he pressed it inside while bearing down, despite all the lube he had drizzled over it.

Once inserted it isn't so bad. He just feels so full.

He could absolutely do this.

Just...he'd forgotten about walking.

Though the sharp burn eventually recedes to a mildly painful stretching sensation, it still couldn't be called comfortable. Even the slightest movement causes the plug to brush against his prostate, until Katsuki is immersed in the constant pull between the sensations of pleasure-pain-pleasure.

He can barely concentrate on his classes and his skin pricks with humiliation every time somebody comments on how flushed he looks.

Katsuki almost shouts when Midoriya turns on the vibrating function during English. He clearly planned this so he could take advantage of Present Mic's ear-splittingly loud voice to cover the sound of the vibrating function. After an entire day of edging, the added vibration has Katsuki ejaculating within seconds.

Katsuki has always been an incredibly light sleeper, remarkably so, after his kidnapping.

The first time Katsuki wakes up to an unfamiliar presence in his room he panics. He tries to set off an explosion before he realises he is wearing those god-awful Quirk suppressant cuffs again.

Fucking Deku.

"Shhhh, just relax," Midoriya whispers, kissing along his jawline. "Your skin is so soft, Kacchan. You're perfect."

Fearful of what may be coming, Katsuki lies still. His heart races. Midoriya continues to kiss his exposed skin, cooing about how beautiful he is. After what feels like an eternity Midoriya gets up and leaves.

Katsuki begins taking increasingly more complex precautions to keep his room secure but somehow Deku keeps getting into his room. Sometimes Katsuki wakes up, but surprisingly, sometimes he doesn't. Katsuki tries not to think too hard about why he doesn't always wake up.

He dreads to think about what is being done to him while he is still unconscious.

Katsuki sits at his desk. He is trying to study but his attention keeps getting drawn to his wrists, to the dark, ugly bruises that encircle them. Looking at them makes his stomach twist uncomfortably.

As he looks at them he swears he can feel the trail of aggressive bite marks and hickeys littering his body pulsing in response.

He thinks of the starburst shaped scars he burnt onto Deku's body as a child. Maybe I deserve this.

He had walked into class early the next day to find Mineta, Kaminari, Sero, Kirishima and oddly enough Sato huddled around Mineta's phone.

"Do you think she has some sort of quirk that allows her to take them that big, that can't be natural!"

"Don't be ridiculous Denki, it is called anal training." Kirishima retorts.

Mineta inhales sharply and Katsuki tenses. When Kirishima came out he was largely met with support and acceptance. Surprisingly this includes Mineta, though he often made unintentionally offensive comments. To Katsuki's immense relief Mineta was only working himself up to explain to the uninitiated the joys of anal porn, anal gaping and how his favourite pornstar had made a name for herself in this genre of videos.

"Uh must we go into suchgraphic detail Mineta"

Ah Shitty hair, the ever-present voice of reason Katsuki thinks.

"This is prejudice! Why is it OK to tell us how much you like big dicks but I can't share how much I like Saphire's work!" shrieks Mineta, shaking his fist. Kirishima raises his eyebrows but allows Sero to come to his rescue.

"Probably because he understands the concept of 'less is more' and 'TMI'…?"

"To be fair to Mineta - "

Katsuki tunes out the rest of the good-natured bickering, but when Sparky tries to engage him in their conversation Katsuki glowers.

"Fucking ask someone who gives a shit," Katsuki bites back before aggressively removing his books and pens from his bag in preparation for their next class.

Kaminari blanches but Kirishima laughs and reaches over to squeeze Katsuki's shoulder.

"Sure, we'll leave you be! I know you aren't interested in this sort of thing, right?! Would rather focus on making it to Number One amirite!?"

Katsuki struggles to decipher the emotions that Kirishima appears to be desperately trying to convey. He assumes Kirishima's heavy gaze seeks to indicate that Katsuki's still his best friend despite past events and that he badly wants to keep it that way. Katsuki knowshow much he means to Kirishima and shares the sentiment. Kirishima is far too important for him to lose too. Katsuki had decided long ago that he'd ignore his yearning for his best friend but his longing had only intensified after their kiss. Experiencing something so close to what he'd always wanted only to remember how his inadequacies prevent them from ever having a real relationship is agonizing. Contrary to what Kirishima clearly seems to think, Katsuki doesn't hold any animosity regarding the incident, and most definitely not for the reasons Kirishima thinks, yet Katsuki can't bring himself to do anything other than violently shrug Kirishima's hand off and refuse to make eye contact. The group leaves him alone after that, continuing their conversation until the rest of the class begin to filter in for their afternoon lessons.

That weekend Kirishima finds a new hook-up. He thinks it is that boy with the metal quirk.

Katsuki knows Kirishima has had hook-ups before – they've shared these secrets and others long ago - in hushed whispers when just the two of them were hanging out late at night. Heck, he knows from that god-awful shopping trip that Kirishima definitely masturbates in his dorm. However, Katsuki has never heard anything of a sexual nature through the wall they share. He assumes it is because Kirishima has always been considerate enough to be either very quiet or to wait until he and Shouji are out.

Today Katsuki can hear – well, a lot.

He can hear wet smacking sounds and moaning that is getting progressively louder. Adding to the cacophony of groaning and moaning is the sound of the bedframe hitting the wall hard enough to dent.

Katsuki desperately hopes Kirishima mistakenly thought he was out and isn't trying to make a point. As the noises begin to border on erotic, Katsuki finds he might even be getting vaguely turned on. He inches closer to the wall, pressing his ear against it. He is absent-mindedly beginning to palm himself over his trousers when he hears Kirishima groaning, "yes I like it – ah-ah- I like it so much… you feel so good, ah...splitting me open with your…" Katsuki tears his ear away from the wall as if he's been burned.

Kirishima's side of the wall wasn't the only one with damage at the end of the night.

He seeks out Deku himself after that.

Katsuki just wants to forget and Midoriya delights in Katsuki's desperation. Takes advantage of it. Midoriya happily allows Katsuki to believe that he is directing this interaction, that he is using Midoriya for once. Midoriya revels in Katsuki's panic when it becomes apparent he isn't. That he never had the slightest bit of control over the situation. That he can't escape. Gagged and bound to his bed, Midoriya pushes Katsuki further than he has before, hurting him in ways that soak the bed in blood, in ways that Midoriya probably thought he would have to wait for monthsto work up to.

When Katsuki comes he's crying. He's not sure if it is from pleasure or pain.

Author's Notes:

Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! As a big thank you to everyone who has been supporting this story so far, I've included a sneak peek/preview for the first time lol.

Excited for the next chapter? Here's a preview! Katsuki watches a movie with Asui, has some 1:1 time with Iida and tells Deku a lie!? Need more context? Then you'll need to tune in for the next chapter :)

Sneak peek:

"…Do I need to take you to Recovery Girl?"

She's so kind.

"I …"

He opens his mouth, then closes it.