Chérie, parchments and quills
Chapter Eleven – Irrefutable evidence

The week flew by in a flurry of classes, grading, and normal day-to-day stuff. He corresponded with Tau as if nothing had changed, waiting for his chance to find that irrevocable and undeniable proof of his identity as Draco. Now that he'd already made the connection however, it was easy to see Tau and Draco as one person – when he wrote to Tau, he already saw Draco as the recipient.

The only difference between Tau and Draco, seemed to be in their confidence and willingness to be open in terms of personality. Tau wrote freely for the most part; among his jovial words, his joking taunts, and the way he alluded to things or acted with a laughable arrogance, he allowed his true personality to shine through.

Draco's personality was sometimes identical to Tau's – if you paid attention to him – hidden behind layers of masks and shields, but when he relaxed and forgot about his need to be defensive or protective of himself from others… Harry could see that identicality. The times when that hidden personality of his was allowed to shine – like their whisky night back in September, were something almost precious … something wonderful and catalytic.

A part of Harry was timorous and reluctant; he wanted Tau to be Draco, but he wondered if the man would even give him a chance once he realised that his illusion of Padfoot … was just Harry.

There was a knock at the door to his private chambers, the sound pulling him from the depths of his thoughts. He should have been grading papers, but once again he'd gotten lost in his own mind.

When he opened the door, a slightly ruffled Draco Malfoy stood there slightly breathless.

"Auror Graves is speaking with Minerva, he requests your presence." Draco cut to the chase before Harry could even greet him. "Immediately!"

"Right!" Harry frowned, closing his door and following Draco to the Headmistress office in a hurry. "What's this about – – Silas?"

"Yes. I think Graves is letting his emotions run this case. I was just there; he is determined to find a reason to have the boy arrested but his attitude suggests he blames Minerva."

"What for?" Harry was bewildered. There was nothing concrete to hold against the boy, and therefore no point in reporting Mr Silas Avery to the Aurors department.

"It's ludicrous Potter; Minerva is nearly pulling her hair out, but Graves thinks she is withholding information or isn't bothered by Silas's behaviour. I personally believe that Graves has a rather strong dislike against Death Eaters, believes them all accountable – exonerated or not, and Silas just happens to be the son of one."

Harry could hear the bitterness in Draco's voice, and he could already guess the attitude that Graves held towards Draco. When they reached the headmistresses office – behind the gargoyle and up the spiral stairs, he got to witness that very hostility.

"That will be all Mr Malfoy." Auror Graves alluded with a face of disgust, obviously wanting Draco to leave.

"As head of Slytherin house, I am in charge of the Slytherin's education and well-being. As Mr Silas Avery is a Slytherin, I shall remain present at the meeting." Draco insisted.

Auror Graves stood from his seat and practically sneered at Draco, asserting his superiority as an Auror. "I asked nicely, won't ask again."

"Then don't." Draco said, sitting in a chair opposite Minerva's desk.

Harry swore he saw Minerva's lips twitch as if holding back humour, and the look of barely restrained outrage on Graves face almost made Harry snort.

"Mr Malfoy! This is a confidential legal matter, and it is against protocol to have a Death Eater present." Auror Graves spat.

Harry could see the hurt and anger flash across Draco's face, but he wore a mask of steel and held eye contact with the Auror. "Then it is a good thing I was exonerated then. Tell me, Mr Graves, what Auror protocol do you speak of? Seeing as how it … apparently affects my job, I think I should familiarise myself with these details."

"Think you're so high and mighty huh? Think you-"

Harry chose that moment to cut in.

"I think you should hold your tongue Elroy! Can I call you that? Elroy." Harry didn't give the Auror a chance to respond, patting the man's chest twice before continuing. "I'm sure you didn't mean to break code forty-six of the Aurors conduct. I'm sure there's no need for me to contact Dale with some pensive memories now is there?"

Auror Graves gritted his teeth. "Not at all Mr Potter."

"Good. How is Kingsley by the way? He keeps trying to arrange a tea date, but you know how jobs go." Harry winked at Draco as he took the chair next to the blond. Draco looked surprised, but at least he didn't seem angry that Harry had intervened. Minerva looked much more relaxed now, her lips still twitching.

"As far as I'm aware Mr Potter, he is in good health." Mr Graves answered.

Harry knew that Graves wouldn't have the same liberty that he did when it came to the minster of magic himself, but it would remind Auror Graves to think carefully before he tried to fuck with him and his own. He smiled warmly, as if this was an everyday conversation between them.

"That's good to hear. Sit Elroy, didn't we have something of importance to discuss. Not that I don't enjoy our little conversations, but I'm sure we all have important things to get back to. I would hate to keep you longer than necessary." Harry pointed at the empty chair.

"Yes. Right!" Auror Graves seemed to remember himself again. He sat back down and started his line of questioning.

"You were quite rude, and dare I say, cunning Mr Potter. You had poor Mr Grave feeling rather anxious and uncomfortable, hardly the way to address authority." Minerva addressed Harry in a stern tone once Auror – Mr Elroy Graves had left through the flow. "Have a biscuit Harry!" Minerva insisted, lifting the plate of uneaten shortbreads. she couldn't contain her slight smile this time.

Harry took one to please her, a smirk on his face.

"Where on earth did you–?" Draco asked, still in shock at the way Harry had handled Auror Graves.

"I did train with the Auror Department for nearly a year." Harry explained. "Mr Dale Rogers is head of the Auror Department. Mr Elroy Graves is just the head Auror of his team, but he likes to throw about his title falsely – so people think he's head of the department. Graves was there when I was training, and he's always been threatened by me because I was outing him even as a trainee."

"Well, you were spectacular!" Minerva smiled momentarily, before her face returned to it normal stern expression. "I dare say we haven't seen the last of him though. Mr Avery and his mother will not be best pleased when he makes that house call."

"We'll deal with it. We always do." Harry said.

"That we do Harry. That we do indeed." Minerva nodded

"Fancy a drink tomorrow?" Draco asked as they walked back to Harry's chambers.

Harry wondered why Draco was following him back to his rooms, or escorting him back. Something had changed since their failed trip to the Three Broomsticks at the begging of the week, but Harry wasn't complaining. Draco had started looking out for him during meal times, and he'd even turned up at his door with a plate of food when he'd missed dinner on Wednesday. Draco smiled at him when they passed each other in the hallways, and the man seemed happier to be in his company. Draco had almost become his shadow. The surprising thing about it though, was that it felt right. Draco Malfoy … by his side … felt right!

"Sure! We can go to muggle London if you like." Harry suggested.
'No bloody reporters, nothing to strike up bad memories, and no one to recognised us.' He thought.

"Hmm. I don't think I've ever had muggle coffee. It shall be a new experience." Draco smiled.

Harry laughed. Warmth filled his stomach and he shook his head at how Draco was so … well, so Draco!

"What?" Draco asked, the look of actual bewilderment on his face made Harry laugh again.

"Nothing!" Harry shoulder bumped him. "I can assure you though, muggles make good coffee too."

It felt right, it felt good, and Harry knew it was only a matter of time before he fell in too deep. He could already feel himself falling…

That evening, Harry was situated on his bed like every evening; a cup of coffee on the bedside table, and the magical parchment in front of him. He wasn't yet ready for bed, but he was winding down for the day.

Message from Tau:

After much thought and deliberation, I can honestly say that I have no idea what my biggest fear is Padfoot. There is much that I fear, in the same way that one is afraid of bad days – afraid of making a fool of oneself – afraid that plans will not come to pass – or afraid that someone you love will pass away. I fear that the positive things in my life won't last, that they are but fleeting moments of happiness – too good to be true. I cannot help myself from expecting the other shoe to drop, or wondering when my debts will be collected.

A childhood acquaintance once turned fear into an acronym; 'fuck everything and run'. It was what I once would have done, in fact, perhaps it still is my initial reaction – to avoid my fears instead of facing them. Something that has been more apparent to me this year. I think it is time for a new acronym – 'forget everything and remember'.

Remember that which is reality and realistic; remember that we have faced worse and survived; remember that fear is nothing more then a state of mind – therefore it can be conquered; remember that fear prevents understanding and alters perception; and remember that fear is only an obstruction when we allow it to win.

It is easy to run from our fears and ignore them - I am guilty of such, but I have never been particularly brave Padfoot. I don't think I ever will be… but I will try to remember.

It is now my turn to ask a question.
Have you ever questioned your sanity, and why?

Tau. x

Message end-

Harry read the words twice to be sure he hadn't missed anything. Everything Tau had said made sense – unsurprisingly. Harry, however, thought it a shame that the man's fears prevented him from accepting something good.

It's almost tragic when one hesitates to trust and accept, simply because you could get hurt.

Harry was afraid that if Tau knew his real identity, the words - 'it was too good to be true' would in fact, be true. Yet, their talk of fears and overcoming them gave Harry a sudden confidence to be brave. He needed that solid, undeniable, without a doubt proof that Tau was Draco. It didn't matter how much he thought he knew, it didn't even matter that he was already sure of that fact … he was afraid of making a fool out himself. If that minuscule possibility that it was all just a big coincidence came to be, then he would feel like a total idiot. In fact, he would be devastated.

Harry wondered if the reason he was so afraid, was because he feared that minuscule chance that he would be wrong – that in the end, he would have to choose between Draco and Tau. He wanted them to be one and the same so badly that he feared it wouldn't be the case. Blissful ignorance could only last so long.

He read Tau's words once more, quite sure that he could imagine Blaise Zabini behind the words – 'Fuck everything and run', but that was exactly what he was doing wasn't it? Running and hiding from the truth that he wanted it to be Draco. He had to remember.

Remember that no good would come from avoiding what was so totally obvious; remember that he would gain nothing from being blissfully ignorant; and remember, that if he could face his death – literally, then he could face this.

He had a plan, a plan that he hoped would pay off … but first, he had to answer Tau.
'Have you ever questioned your sanity, and why?'

He chuckled, reaching for his coffee. He was questioning his sanity right now!

He had questioned his sanity many times in the past: when he was a child and strange things happened around him: when Voldemort was in his head and he thought he was going insane: when he heard voices in the walls that his friends couldn't hear: when he raced into danger with no plans: and when his mental stability crashed after the war. He couldn't share any of that with Tau however … not yet.

So, what did he say?

By the time his coffee had been finished, he'd finally decided on his reply.

Message to Tau:

Ah Tau,

I am afraid that I cannot elaborate my answer, but yes, I have questioned my sanity many times. The most I can give you, is that I have experienced things no one else could see or hear – real things, but being the only one made me feel like I was losing my mind.

I assure you; those things were soon proven very real. I was not mad.

Other times were born from grief, mental pain, and the questioning of oneself. I will admit that a lot of times, even though I had people around me, I felt alone. Feeling alone with so many questions and painful emotions, well, it would make one question their sanity I suppose.

Have you ever felt like a minuscule dot, even though you are surrounded by a world of people?

Message end-

Harry took a deep breath, readying his nerves for part two of his plan. Hopefully his question would keep Tau distracted long enough.

With that though, he quickly stashed the parchment and quill into his draw, then hurried from his private chambers.

'Fuck everything and run!'

It was a mantra that he couldn't shake as he waiting for Draco to open the door, but he had to remember that he was here for a reason. He was ready to uncover the irrefutable truth if he could.

He just hoped that Draco would rush to get the door, and that he wouldn't put away whatever it was he was doing first. 'Writing on his parchment with any luck' – Harry's brain supplied.

The door opened, and judging by Draco's features, Harry must have been emanating the nervousness he certainly felt. He suddenly couldn't remember what the fuck he had planned to say – it was like his brain had short-circuited.

"Are you okay Harry?" Draco asked, opening the door up further to reveal the man's attire: grey long-sleeved pyjamas, in what appeared to be a soft tracksuit type material. Merlin – the man looked adorably innocent. Harry blinked; he didn't know why he'd expected Draco to be the green silk type of man.

Before Draco could say anything else, Harry had invited himself inside. He was already searching the room with his eyes for evidence of a magical parchment, quickly trying to remember his excuse for being there in the first place.

"We never set a time for tomorrow or agreed where to meet up." Harry blurted out. It was true, but it wasn't the lie he had prepared – damn it, now he sounded like an idiot.

Draco frowned. "You could have asked me at breakfast."

Harry looked back at Draco, having failed to see any writing materials left out, and realised Draco was giving him a very suspicious look. "I could have, yes. But… erm… it's just…" He closed his mouth – he was ruining this! 'Think Harry, think! "I had another flash back."

'Damn it, Harry! Now you'll have to run with it!' He berated himself.

"Oh… And you came to me?" Draco asked, acting a little awkwardly.

"Yeah, sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you. I should just-" Harry stopped talking the moment a warm hand touched his shoulder.

"I'll get some us coffee." Draco nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?" Draco asked, walking to the small kitchenette and started boiling some water.

"No! I mean, no, I just needed…" Harry could have slapped himself; he was a terrible liar and this felt all kinds of wrong. Luckily Draco seemed to accept it though.

"I get It Potter. As for tomorrow, shall we say lunch time, twelve, and I'll meet you at your room?" Draco flicked his wand and muttered a spell to turn off the flame. He levitated the hot metal kettle and started putting together the coffee.

"Sure! That sound good." Harry nodded, trying to relax.

He watched as Draco finished the coffee, wondering where he would hide the parchment if he had one. A though then dawned on him – what if Draco wrote in his bedroom like he did?

"Sit down then Potter." Draco nodded to the black leather, camel back sofa. Harry did, taking his coffee with a grateful smile.

Draco's rooms where different to his own; simple, less cluttered, more organised, and laid out differently with more space – 'Bigger.' He thought. There were plants in large vases – simple greenery really, and various dark green textiles here and there, but Harry noticed only one other door in the room – besides the main door that was.

'Ah, Draco must have an en-suite.'

"How were lessons today. You have two classes to teach on Fridays, right?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, that's right. How do you know my timetable?" Harry frowned. It honestly surprised him that Draco had paid attention to that, or that he had remember after only two months working here.

"You never seem to have lessons after lunch on a Friday, neither do I."

"I could still have three classes." Harry intoned with a voice that suggested insinuation.

"But you don't. You just confirmed that. It was a question if you remember, I never stated that you had two." Draco smirked.

Harry chuckled. They continued talking for while about small things and work, drinking their coffee and enjoying each other's company. Harry still felt guilty though; he was taking up Draco's evening, and the man was obviously not turning him away because he though Harry had another episode and needed companionship.

Harry still wanted to check the bedroom however, to see if the parchment had been left out. He doubted he would be so lucky, but the fact that Draco only had an en-suite gave him the perfect excuse to quickly glance around Draco's bedroom, and it seemed a shame to waste the opportunity to check. He wasn't about to go snooping around, but a quick glance wouldn't hurt.

"May I use your restroom?" Harry asked, a little sheepishly. He couldn't help but feel ashamed of his deception, but he did actually require the use of facilities.

"Of course. Its an en-suite so it's through the bedroom." Draco pointed.

"Thank-you." Harry nodded and made his way to the en-suite.

"Harry!" Draco call to him, just as he'd entered Draco's bedroom.

"Yeah?" Harry turned. Draco had rushed in behind him.

"Its just over there." Draco said, pointing to the door of the en-suite.

"Oh, really. I thought it was through the closet. Good thing you came and steered me in the correct direction." Harry quipped sarcastically.

"Well, I can't trust you not to go rummaging through my things obviously. You just admitted your desire to go through my closet – a heinous crime has thus been prevented." Draco sniffed as if he'd been personally insulted. Harry also noticed how Draco was blocking the view to his bed.

"You caught me." Harry chuckled, knowing full we that the conversation was all in jest. The fact that he had been about to scan the room with his eyes was neither here nor there.

"Well, hurry up then Potter, or I'll revoke my hospitality and refuse you the use of my facilities." Draco warned playfully, but Harry could sense the man's nervousness.

"I'm going – Merlin." Harry muttered in good nature.

As he was about to shut the door to the bathroom behind him however, he bit his lip, peeked his head around the door and looked over at the bed.

His heart leaped, stopped, shuddered, and the raced.

Draco was just stuffing the familiar parchment and quill under his pillow. Harry really couldn't deny it any longer. Draco was Tau! Sure, it could just be another coincidence but… who was he trying to kid? How much more evidence did he really need?

"Potter!" Draco's eyed met his own. Harry saw Draco's throat bob as the man swallowed, and Harry noticed how uncertain he was to what he'd seen – embarrassed maybe?

"I'm just gonna…" Harry nodded behind him, closed the door and sighed. 'Well fuck!'

A few minutes later – after a pep talk to himself in the bathroom mirror whilst washing his hands, Harry returned to the main room.

"Sorry Draco. I just … I didn't mean to-"

"Its fine Potter." Draco rushed to explain. "I was just putting some stuff away."

"A female colleague at the work…" Harry lied slowly, choosing his words carefully. "When I was doing my Auror training, she had that same parchment and quill Draco. It's from Le'Amortentia isn't it?" Harry asked, feigning innocence. His heart was still pounding from the overwhelming evidence. Draco was Tau!

Draco stood up from the couch defensively. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's nothing to ashamed of." Harry tried, but Draco was already running behind his shields.

"It's none of your business. I didn't take you for someone to go snooping around in other people's bedrooms!" Draco's voice was raised, but Harry could hear the humiliation over the anger.

"I wasn't snooping Draco! I simply glanced over at you as I was shutting the bathroom door. I just recognised what it was, that's all!"

"Well now you know!" Draco snapped, pacing the room. He quickly stopped and turned to face him again. "I suggest you go Potter. It's getting late."

"Draco!"

"Just go Potter!"

Harry sighed and walked to the door as Draco opened it. He stopped in the door way before Draco could close the door.

"There's nothing wrong with using a dating service Draco! I'm not judging you. I'll see you tomorrow right, at twelve?" Harry asked. He was praying that Draco wouldn't panic and flee, avoid him because he though Harry would take the piss or something.

Draco's eyes searched Harry's face, almost as if he was trying to read the sincerity of his words. He finally nodded. "Good night Harry." Draco then shut the door.

Harry sighed on the other side, alone in the cold dungeon corridor. He wanted to bang his head against the wall, but instead, he forced his feet to start moving back to his own room.

What had he been thinking? If Draco found out that he'd lied, found out that he'd only made the visit to seek out evidence, he'd be throttled by the man. He groaned, not only that, but he hated lying. He could hold back the truth, refuse to talk about things, but outright lying made him feel terrible – especially when it wasn't for the greater good.

And oh fuck! What was he going to do now?

He knew Tau was Draco – he fucking knew it! It was just that, having the evidence slapping him in the face was a whole new can of worms. Yes, he still had that tiny, minuscule feeling of in denial - what if it was all just a big coincidence, and what if Draco had a totally different chérie that wasn't him at all? He scoffed at himself – bullshit! Draco was Tau – it was glaringly obvious!

Blond hair, grey eyes, same height, same personality, same fears, same arrogance, same dating company, both purebloods, both had a weakness for chocolate … … and he went giddy at the knees for them both.

There was certainly no 'both' of them, just one! One gorgeous, charming, intelligent and funny man. A man with a tonne of good-humoured arrogance, an awkward way of expressing concern, and rare smile that could chase away the darkness inside him and brighten a room. A real man - with flaws, fears, doubts, issues and feelings just like himself.

He would no doubt get more evidence tomorrow that would shut up the annoying wisps of doubt that remained, but he had his answer – Draco and Tau were one and the same. It was indisputable, but what happened now?

At least Draco hadn't cancelled their coffee meeting tomorrow, but Harry couldn't see the man ever giving him a chance at a relationship.

'A relationship with Draco Malfoy?' Harry blinked; his steps faltered. Is that what he really wanted? Was he ready for that step? Stranger things had certainly happened, but … It was hopeless wasn't it?

The thought of Draco not accepting him cut deep, and that told him all he needed to know. He had started falling for Draco bloody Malfoy. It wasn't a possibility any longer, it was happening.

As he reached his private chamber and opened the door, he decided that all he could do was play the game. For now, he would continue to be two people – Padfoot on parchment, and Harry otherwise. He would see where it led.

Tau and Padfoot weren't ready to met yet. He would come clean with Draco, eventually, but for now he had to know if Tau liked Padfoot enough to meet him, and he had to know if he stood a chance with Draco as himself … as Harry.

Harry closed the door behind him, a few students hurried down the halls to make curfew, and the moving portraits settled down for the night inside their own frames.