Chapter Six: A Waste Of Space

I just have to add that I absolutely loved writing this chapter. It took me weeks to come up with it, and I think I did a pretty good job. Let me know what you think! Thanks for all the reviews... H.B.

After school Cordelia decided to go see Angel and tell him the good news. She walked to the front door of the mansion, and knocked once before letting herself in. A part of her didn't want to talk to Angel, but she needed to tell him that she was thankful for what he had done for her, even if it was just understanding and listening. She was surprised to see that Angel was already by the door knowing that it was her.

"Cordelia! What… is something wrong?" He looked at her and saw that she looked really happy. So why would she be here? Sure he didn't mind her being here, but why would she need to talk to him if something wasn't wrong? "I thought you'd be out with your friends."

Cordelia stepped farther into the room. She couldn't help but notice that he was lacking a shirt. He must have been working out, she thought. Finally focusing back on their conversation she found her voice. "I'm sorry if I interrupted something. I promise I won't stay long. I just came to say that my dad finally came home. And I wanted thank you for all you've done, you know like not telling anyone…about my mom and all. I'm really glad that I had you here to listen to everything that has happened these last few days."

" You're welcome. So what did your father do when you told him?" He asked her. He noticed that her face was full of confusion. "About your mom?"

"Oh, that. Nothing happened. 'Cause I didn't tell him. She never does anything to me when my dad's home. They only fight with each other. So I'm sure I'm fine for a little while. She'll get over all this stuff soon." Cordelia said. She had a huge smile on her face, but Angel didn't seem too pleased with her answer.

"Cordelia I don't think that's any better than before. You're dad being home may stop her now, but what happens when he leaves again?" Cordelia stared at him blankly for a moment. Why was she having this conversation with him? He didn't know her family, he barely knew her. Now it all seemed so clear, she shouldn't have some to see him.

"Angel, please. He's not leaving me again. Besides you don't know what they're like. You have never met my parents."

Cordelia stared at him for a moment trying to read his expression. "Come on, Cordelia. You're turning this into some fairytale, the wicked witch doesn't always go away forever." Her smile faded when he said that. And he could tell that he upset her, but it had to be said. She wasn't looking at this rationally.

"What! Now my mom's a witch? Angel, she's not some supernatural thing you and your 'cry Buffy' girlfriend go around and kill all the time. She's a human, maybe not a very good one, but… she's my mother. I know she cares about me, and I don't care how many times she hits me, I will never let anyone hurt her." How could he say that to her? But then why did it sound right in the back of her mind when he'd said it? It must be some weird vampire thing, she thought to herself.

"Cordelia, it was just an expression. Look she needs help, and she won't stop hurting you until she gets some. You could get seriously hurt." He reached out for her arm, "Let's just sit…"

"Don't touch me!" She moved behind his big couch, trying to keep as much distance as possible. She didn't want him to touch her, it was as if he would make her believe him just by touching him. "God, you're loving this aren't you. Trying to be all high and mighty like God's freaking gift. Let me telling you something, you are the farthest thing from anything God would ever create." The words slipped out of her mouth and there was no way for her to take them back now. His expression went from hurt to anger as he looked over at her. She didn't want to say these things to him, but she had to get him to stop caring about her, and the best way seemed to be: hurt him first.

He couldn't believe that Cordelia was being so bitchy towards him. She was never like this with him ever. She was always trying to get him to like her and not Buffy. He had to talk some sense back into her, he just hoped she'd listen to him. "Okay listen, I just trying to help you. Obviously you don't want it, but that's too bad because you're the one that dragged me into this…" but he didn't get the chance to finish because Cordelia cut in.

"Oh, so now this is all my fault. I just walk right into my mother's fist, and I usher my dad to the airport every time he leaves. God listen to yourself you're starting to sound like…" it was Angel's turn to cut in.

"If you could shut up for two seconds I might be able to finish a sentence. What I was about to say was you dragged me into this and now I want to help you out, it's all for a friend." He hoped that now that she heard that he did it so they could be friends, then maybe she would listen to him, but by her expression he could tell it didn't work too well.

"That's sweet of you to take care of poor Cordy just to impress a 'friend'. Gee, you sure know how to make a girl feel special. Did she tell you about the eye and everything, with her pouty mouth all 'help her Angel please, while I go out and have a life." Angel was sure now that she had gotten the wrong idea entirely. He had to stop her before she got too out of control.

"Cordel…" but once again he didn't get to finish. Cordelia was on a roll and she wanted to get everything out in the open.

"No, it's your turn to listen to me finish. We're not friends Angel, and you're not my father or grandfather, God knows you're old enough to be, and I don't need you looking out for me. I just needed someone to talk to, and now I have this guy that sounds just like my mother half the time." She was so angry that she had tears brimming her eyes. Angel couldn't help the urge to go over and comfort her, but she was two steps ahead and moved farther away from him.

"You don't mean that Cordelia. I know you, and this isn't you. You're acting like that girl that everyone is afraid of and loathes, a vile bitch that gets her way. That's not the girl that I use to talk to. What happened to my girl, the one that makes me smile just by telling me about her day? That is the girl I love being with, please Cordelia." He hated it when she became that girl he avoided every time he went to the high school, or the Bronze. Cordelia was shutting him out, and he wasn't going to let her without a fight.

"What…when did…?" Cordelia couldn't think straight. He had thrown her off when he called he 'his'. She was beginning to let her guard down, but she drew in deep breathes to keep her mind on the reason she came here, and that was to get her old life back. She was going to be Queen C again, even if that meant killing anyone in her way.

He noticed her inner battle, and he knew that he had found a way to break her down, get her to open up again. "I want the Cordelia that walked with me all night, and the one that I would hold when she started to cry. I want the annoying on that would bounce up and down when I would give in and tell you something about my past. I want you…" he decided to leave the sentence unfinished because her facial expressions had not changed the way he had expected. Cordelia stood with her arms crossed over her chest and her gaze cast towards the floor. She loved hearing him say those things about her, but she wasn't going to give in.

She looked up with a deep anger in her eyes. She had to focus on what he just said, but she had to rip all the good out of it and read it completely wrong so she could continue to be mad at him. "So that's what I am to you? An annoying, pitiful, abused, cheerleader. I'm sorry Angel, but I won't let you, or anyone else think down on me. I can handle myself." Cordelia looked at him. She kept her gaze in his deep brown eyes, all she could see was the hurt that she was inflicting on him. She felt bad, but this is what she did everyday at school, what was the difference now?

"Cordelia that's no what I…" Angel started, but saw that same glint in her hazel eyes that he hated about her. It was that one thing that made him avoid her from the moment he met her, the arrogance that made her a pain in the ass. And he was tired of fighting her, "Fine! Yes, that is exactly what you are. And you keep coming everyday. Don't you think that I just might have something else to do? Something that is more important than your problems?" He let it all go. He was sick of her, and wanted nothing else than to get her out of his quiet home.

Cordelia was pissed off now. She didn't think he would go that low. He was actually trying to get her out now, but for the first time in her life she thought someone had beaten at her own game. She thought he was going to be the first to get her to stay, and he was the first one she wanted to stay for. "You have something better to do? Come on…" Cordelia was ready to dish out her worst, and knew that once all was said and done they were never going to get passed this. "Buffy doesn't are about you anymore and all her friends are afraid of you! You're dead to everyone around you, even me. Come on after last year's chaos, you really think any of us want to be around you? You tried to kill all of us!" Cordelia just let the words flow from her mouth, not even thinking about them anymore. Tact was dead to her as well.

"Well, they hate you too, but they're really the only people you've got, Cor." Angel couldn't believe she was being such a brat about everything he said, it was like she didn't want to hear what he had to say. And he was sick of her little games. She had Daddy to run home to now. "Those sheep you call your friends don't care about you, just how much money Daddy has in his bank account. Buffy and everyone else see you as a waste of time. They try so hard to let you in, but you just keep pulling back."

"I don't care. Haven't you figured that out yet? I don't need them. I have a beautiful body, flawless shin, money, and a pulse. I can do anything I want in this town, or any other really. But you know I know some aren't as lucky as me, and too bad. I don't care about anyone but me. But what about you? Huh… what exactly do you contribute to this fine city? You, Angel are a waste of space!" Cordelia said finally. She couldn't believe that she had said that to him. Sure she occasionally thought that, but with all the things had done for her in the last few days she never thought she would voice them. She tried to keep the tears out of her eyes. She meant her words, but they hurt him too much for her to stand. She wanted to say she was sorry, but that would defeat her purpose here.

Angel tried to keep his anger and sadness to himself, but he could tell she knew what her words did to him. He never thought that the Queen C could make him feel so useless. "Get out Cordelia!" He said to her through gritted teeth. She gave him a smug look as she turned and headed to the door.

"Gladly. You know I don't even remember why I bothered coming over here…" She said, turning to face him one last time. She tried to stall for herself. She wanted to say sorry and thought that if she stalled long enough she could bring herself to say it.

"Out! I thought I was helping a friend…" Angel said to himself, but Cordelia heard every word. Her eyes grew wide at the thought that he had only listened to her because someone asked him. She had two guesses as to who what someone was.

"Yeah, cause you've got loads of those! I wonder was it the pouting lips or the big puppy dog eyes that made you do it?" Cordelia shot at him. Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears, and she pulled the door open. He started to walk towards her, but didn't touch her. He could only look into her hurt eyes. That was one thing Cordelia couldn't hide: She poured her heart out in one glance of those beautiful hazel eyes. "I'm gone. Go brood to that friend of yours. Who ever she is…" She whispered thinking he was going to throw her out soon.

She slammed the door in his face, "You…" He whispered into it as he heard her slam her car door. He couldn't help but hear her sobbing as she walked away form him. Things had really gone form amazing to hell in the matter of days. He thought he was use to the hell part, that was all he knew for hundreds of years, but he missed the small light Cordelia brought with her. He missed her.