Gaara vs the squeaky toy, a naruto fanfic

Title: Gaara vs. the squeaky toy (1/1)

Summary: I think the title speaks for itself. Yeah, there is me, Gaara, a squeaky toy and two idiots that I know. Very short and random. Math class messes with my brain.

Squeak.

Gaara twitched before sending his sand out to grab the thing of annoyance. I flinched and let go of the toy when the sand wrapped around my hand. Gaara pulled the thing in front of him before closing his hand.

"Desert Coffin."

Squeak.

I blinked in surprise as the sand loosened to reveal my beloved squeaky toy.

But Gaara did not give up.

"Desert Coffin."

Squeak.

"Desert Coffin."

Squeak.

"Desert Coffin."

Squeak.

"Desert Coffin."

Squeak.

"Desert Coffin."

Squeak.

"Desert Coffin!"

Squeak.

"DESERT COFFIN!"

Squeak.

Even from my hiding place from behind the couch on the other side of the room, I could see the insane look on Gaara's face and the bloodshot look of his eyes. I knew that either Gaara or Squeaky was going to crack under the pressure.

But Squeaky couldn't crack! He was made of rubber!

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.

Finally, Gaara opened his hand and Squeaky fell to the floor.

"Squeaky!" I dove from behind the couch and grabbed the toy before looking to Gaara.

Gaara was, apparently, doing an impersonation of Kiba right after Naruto farted in his face.

He had the exact number of red lines in his eyes.

Two of my friends, Mike and Evan, walked in the room and stood next to Gaara.

BAD. MOVE.

Gaara looked at them and Mike smiled.

DEFINITE. BAD. MOVE!

Evan looked at me.

"Rae, what's with the face? This guy's not scary!"

THE. BADDEST. MOVE. IN. THE. HISTORY. OF. BAD. MOVES!

"He couldn't even hurt Squeaky!"

I got up and calmly walked to the door.

"Of course, Mike. Just remember: when squeezed with enough pressure, humans don't squeak, their heads just pop off!"

"Actually," Gaara said. "I've found that most people DO squeak… three seconds before their heads pop off."

I bolted from the room and listened as I walked down the hallway.

"Desert Coffin!"

"Squeak!" POP!

"Oh well." I sighed, mourning my friends for about ten seconds before getting pissed at them again. "Serves them right for insisting that I have breast implants, WHICH I DON'T!"

Squeaky: thirteen

Gaara: two

Mike and Evan: Disqualified due to decapitation.

Me: zero

Winner: Squeaky.

End.

Review, please!