Rating: T

Requested: Amy

Prompt: Alternative ending to 15.17- Gambler's Fallacy

You know, Lieutenant Murphy may trust you. I don't. And, if we weren't so short-staffed, I'd transfer you. Today.

I'd deserve that. I don't know if I can get back into your good graces, but I'm gonna try, sergeant.

Okay. We're done here.

It kept replaying in her head like a broken record player. The hurt and distrust behind the brown eyes haunted her, even scared her. She was pissed off at herself for even getting into that situation, if only she would have gone to a meeting, if only she did something else…. anything but gamble. But her father genes crawled under her skin like some fucking disease, that she cannot erase. And like her father, she had lost the person she loved, all because of jealousy and this addiction she cannot shake off.

Amanda took another swig of her beer; she sat staring at the black television screen, replaying what happened a couple of hours ago in her sergeant office. How the fuck did she let it get this far? Was her father's demon far deep in her that it blinds her common sense? She was tired of crying, she tired of everything. Everything around was suffocating her, falling into the bottomless pit. Fuck she thought to herself, taking another swig of her beer to finish the rest.

Amanda got up from her couch and started walked towards her kitchen when the sudden knocking on her front door took her by surprise. She turned, walking towards the door, slowly. Worried, almost. Having a few drinks alone makes her a tad bit paranoid.

"Who is it?" She asked softly but with much caution, her hands delicately placed on her door.

"It's me."

Her eyes widen in surprise and confusion. And quickly, she walked to her kitchen sink and washed her face to get somewhat sober. After drying her face with a paper towel, leaving the used sheet crumbled next to the sink; she headed back to the door. Shaky hands, she reaches for the door knob while the other unlocks the bolt. Slowly opening the door, Amanda locked eyes with the same hurt filled brown eyes, she left hours ago.

"Come in." She whispered, stepping aside. Her blue eyes carefully watched the tall brunette step into her apartment, slowly closing the door behind her. "Would you..uh..would you like something to drink?" She nervously asked the older woman whose back was facing her.

Slowly, she made her way to her kitchen, leaning against her brown marble counters, arms crossed; protecting herself from any more hurt. Her breathing hitched at the vision before, Olivia turned to face her, her watery brown eyes started deadly right at her.

"Do you know how I scared I was?" Olivia quietly asked tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Olivia…"

"I know...I know, we agreed in ending our flinging and whatever..." her voice was soft, cracking through her tears. "but I still care. I have ever stopped caring." She confessed.

Amanda dared herself to rush over there and take Olivia into her arms and just hold her tight. Kiss her lips and tell her how sorry she was for fucking up but she couldn't move. She stood frozen, feeling her tears rolled down her cheeks.

"And what hurts the most was that you felt, that you couldn't come to me when you had the urge. I thought you trusted me."

"I do, always have and always will." Amanda finally cracked out, pushing through her tears and sniffs.

Olivia observed the blonde in front of her. She looked so small, and fragile. Her head hung low, her blue eyes hidden, and that bruise on her cheek...damn near killed her. "Then why didn't you come to me?" She asked, pleading softly.

"You have Brian. "

Olivia shook her head, "no, that's bullshit."

Amanda lifted her head, her blue eyes meeting with pleading brown eyes. "It's not. You have him, and I am not going to mess anything because I can't handle my problems."

She stepped closer as her hands reached out to the blonde in front of her, brown eyes never leaving blue. She felt how naturally their hands intertwine, like a perfect puzzle piece. Olivia felt the same tingly feeling that she had felt before when they first held hands during their undercover. It was a feeling that she never felt before, and it was feeling inside of her, that she tried finding with Brian. Gently, she pulled the younger woman closer to her, closing their gap. Their heat radiated between them as nervous traveled through every inch of their body. Matching heart beats and breathing patterns, it was this feeling of being so alive and so at the moment, that she had never felt before until she met Amanda. It scared, terrified her. Olivia released her left hand, slowly brought it up to Amanda's right cheek. Her fingertips are gently caressing and tracing the bruise. Her heart aches at sight before her. The hurt, guilt, and disappointment that Amanda was feeding off.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Amanda shook her head, "No, it's okay. My fault."

Olivia leaned in, closing the little gap between them. Their foreheads touch, her eyes flicked down to the blonde's lips and back up to her blue eyes. Her hands fell to Amanda's small waist as her head tilt, their lips barely touched. "I wish you knew how I much I care, Amanda." She whispered. "How much I think about you…think about us." her brown eyes locked with Amanda's. "You scared me, so much."

"I'm sorry." Her breath hitch at the touch of Olivia's soft lips pressed against hers, and their tongue is quickly claiming the others. Their shape-shifting mouths heated with passion and eagerness as their hands roamed each other's body, feeling every curve that they had missed. The kiss was intoxicating and breathtaking, every ounce of energy from their body had sucked out from this every kiss. They were each in much need of air; they pull apart slowly not allowing their eyes to break their lock.

I love you."

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