-People.
...
-Gin 'Cries' Wolf-
"Captain..." Kira called out somewhat weakly beside him, the lieutenant doing his best to avoid Yamamoto's grave look.
"Quiet," Snapped Gin. This time... This time it was going to work... There was no way Aizen could cover this one up! He knew he was having one of his secret meetings with the Espada! He'd just as much said so!
"This is the fifth time captain, that you've come to me with words of treason from one of our own,"
"I am telling you he's evil! I don't know how he got the Hogyoku from Kuchiki without anyone knowing but it was him!"
"And this Hogyoku is the same one he 'used' to 'kidnap' the Ryoka girl?"
"Yes!"
"Captain, the Ryoka girl was in her house the entire time... Her frien-"
"Izuru," Gin stated passively, his neck turning almost mechanically. Before he turned back towards the unimpressed commander when his aid quieted.
"And you're saying he used it to create the 'Espada' of Hueco Mundo?
Gin nodded fervently to the question.
"I am telling you this time you'll see for sure! There's no way he can cover this one up!"
...
"Well?" Yamamoto questioned indifferently as he took a look around the empty palace. "I don't see any proof, unless you brought me here to tell me Aizen built this as some kind of secret base?"
Gin twitched as he stared around the empty throne room, "Well he did- Where the hell are the Espada!?" He questioned with a shrill voice.
...
Elsewhere in the middle of an undisclosed location in the human world. "Lord Groban, is there a reason were having our meeting in this... Cesspool of danger?" Ulquiorra questioned in a low voice.
Aizen grinned, "This is the only place on earth they'll never look for any of you,"
"What is this place called?" Stark questioned somewhat eagerly, a place he can truly laze about...
"Australia,"
...
...
...
-Straight Cat Strut by Yrael-
-x-x-x-x-x-
"Aizen-tai..." Soi Fong's voice drifted off as she found her charge in the cell strutting up and down, making wild gestures at the air.
Beside her Shunsui and Ukitake, whom had come at Genryusai's command began to stare as well.
The normally prim and proper Aizen, the paragon of a perfect shinigami, stood facing them in his usual attire...plus an oversized bowler hat, an obviously fake mustache and a gaudy cane.
"I say good sir" He said in a bad British accent, brandishing the cane about. "Do you know nothing of honour!?"
She tried mightily to not frown...and to fight the tic in her eyebrow. "The hour has come and the trial awaits you, we are here to escort you there."
Aizen twirled his fake mustache. "Very good, very good." He walked out of the cell, strutting like an oversized rooster, his sandals clacking along the floor like dancing shoes.
He danced forwards and backwards, shoulders swinging, striking poses here and there, tossing the hat and twirling the gaudy cane, humming to himself.
"...you've been caught by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal..."
She must have done something because suddenly Aizen stopped dancing, Shunsui gazed ever so slightly at her and Ukitake carefully looked away as if he was paying attention to something else.
Aizen, or the man claiming to be him frowned as he stared at her, looking deeply into her eyes. "Geez. I forgot how uptight you were before getting laid by Yoruichi. Like...damn."
In the pin drop silence that followed, Aizen grabbed the bewildered Ukitake and dragged the unsuspecting captain into a waltz.
"Speaking of people who need to get laid, you need to give up on Kyouraku, Jushiro. He's emotionally unavailable and unreliable."
Without missing a beat, Ukitake moved out of the dance, frowning as Aizen continued on dancing without a partner. "Do you take anything seriously?"
"After having lived through several world ending events, you appreciate life more." He replied, smiling in response. "Heavens, after you died, Kyouraku became such an asshole. He was way worse than the Old Man".
Beside her, Soi Fong felt Kyouraku stiffen.
"Oh yeah?" The older man asked.
Aizen smiled wistfully and for a moment he seemed like the man they knew. "We all grow up, Kyouraku. It is the mark of our character how we change and who we become."
He suddenly tossed his hat into the air and caught it with the end of his cane, twirling around, and placing it on his head, as he played with the false mustache.
"I for example, became the greatest dancer in all of Sereitei!"
Soi Fong watched non plussed, as the man who used to contribute such serious and thoughtful haikus to the monthly newsletters began to tap dance towards the meeting hall, humming to himself.
Kyouraku scratched his chin. "You know...I'm pretty convinced that's him now. Whatever may have happened."
-x-x-x-x-x-
...
...
...
-Alt-Trial (Alternative questions)-
I coughed, quickly getting the attention of the other captains, as I made to ask my question. Though I couldn't help the amused expression at Kisuke's frowning one.
"Urahara I only have one question really..."
Urahara's eyes narrowed the slightest at the wording as the silence fills the air.
"It involves Shihion Yoroichi,"
Panic, fear, affection and a myriad of other emotions filled the man at the sudden words as a wave of killing intent suddenly crashed into everyone.
Soi-fon's here.
Right.
"Are you or are you not the fathe- Did he actually just disappear?"
I blinked at the suddenly empty spot in front of me. The captains just as confused as they looked around the room for the elusive trespasser.
I can't believe that worked...
...
-Alt-Trial by frozenchicken- (Genuine username)
Kisuke frowned internally. Aizen's answers didn't make sense! They were clearly impossible, yet this trial ensured only answers that the answerer believed inherently could be given. Could Aizen have used illusions on himself? No, he would still be aware of the use of illusions, which would undermine his certainty. Perhaps this was a fake? An illusioned dupe? He straightened and enunciated clearly.
"This question is not directed to Aizen Sosuke, but instead to the person in front of me. Who exactly are you?"
Surely he didn't expect asking that was going to-
Damn.
"I'm a random nobody who received great spiritual power. I've somehow ended up as a Captain of one of the Squads of Soul Society despite having done nothing to deserve ending up in this position. However, now that I am here and armed with knowledge of the many threats and enemies to the people here, I've decided I need to do my part to help protect everyone whose lives I care about."
...That was actually competent.
Toushiro boggled. "Who knew Aizen had such deep self-esteem issues?"
"Who exactly are you?"
"I'm actually an artificially-created being, born from the usage of the nigh-omnipotent wish-granting device you created, as a dark reflection of your own self and goals."
"-You mean-"
"-That's right. URAHARA KISUKE, YOU ARE MY FATHER."
"...You do realise I've seen that movie?"
"Who exactly are you?"
"I'm the second son of the Soul King. I was supposed to spend most of my days in Seritei, but after a conflict with some thugs who were up to no good, the people around me got scared by the power I revealed during the fight. As such, I chose to join the Gotei 13, even as it basically turned my life upside down.
And that's how I became the Soul Prince of Squad 5."
"I've seen that show too. You need to stop quoting things."
"How did you even-what?"
...
...
...
-Coyote Stark's New Contract-
"I gave you some crackin' Grems and made you su~per popular."
Stark raises his hand.
"At the cost of being a gag character,"
"... I see. I am assuming there's mor-"
"Your name's Josh Groban."
"Is that all-" This guys an ass.
"You're a furry." Excuse Me!? What The Fuck Did Four Eyes Just Call Me!?
"What?" Calm down Lil!
"No wait, you made that choice yourself..."
Eyebrow twitch. Kill. Him.
"Is-"
"Ulquiorra's your best friend." ...Atleast it's not Nnoitra..? I don't know! They're both creepy but that ones not a pervert (I think).
"...That doesn't sound too bad."
"Barragan wants to kill you." What the fuck is this guys problem!? See man I told you not to be such a lazy jacka- Mute.
"There it is." He sighed.
Maybe if you got more missions don- Mute!
...
...
...
-The Truth Hurts (Gin)-
I calmly sipped the tea in front of me, a grimace filling my expression in the process, before promptly putting it down and shaking the taste out of my mouth. Just ahead of me, Gin sat, a perfectly passive expression on his face as he stared at the empty cup before slowly raising his head back up and sighing dejectedly.
"Hey," I suddenly called out, earning the man's attention before leaning in the slightest.
"...Yes?" He questioned, his hand twitching towards his Zanpakuto for some reason.
"You want to know a secret?" I questioned with a small grin on my face.
Gin narrowed his eyes the slightest as he firmly grasped the pommel of his sword. "...What secret is that?" He questioned somewhat curious.
"You remember that time we faked my death and I told everyone I am from the future?" I questioned, though to my own surprise, his expression turned passive once again as he answered.
"Yes... Let me guess, you're not actually from the future!?" He remarked dramatically, his mouth wide open.
I blinked at the words.
"Yea, how'd you know?"
Gin twitched at the question, "I figured it out," He deadpanned.
For whatever reason, his anger only seemed to escalate at my genuine joy.
"So...You know the truth!?" I questioned wide-eyed.
Gin blinked, his anger momentarily dissipating at the words, "Yes... But I think you should tell me just-"
"That I am a human who basically possessed Aizen's body and am actually from another world?"
Gin opened his mouth to respond before I promptly continued over him.
"Where this world's basically a story written by an overworked pervert?" I finished with a small grin, hopeful that someone might finally understa-
"...Sosuke, If I stop trying to kill you, will you stop lying to me?" He questioned, a despaired tone to his voice as he looked me over.
I blinked again, caught off-guard by the words, "You're still trying to kill me?" I questioned caught off-guard. "I thought you stopped after the whole trial fiasco!" I added on genuinely shocked.
Gin twitched at the words before he promptly picked up the tea-set and flash-stepped away.
...