A/N: Quick little note, first it's her POV and then switches to Carson's. I make a refrence to an early 90's movie, see if you can figure it out. Don't own anything from 'SGA'. Read and Review.
I slip the note under Carson's door and head back to (what I still consider) our quarters. Once inside I lock the door and head for the bathroom. Closing the door I rummage around until I find what I'm looking for. Tears falling, I slide the blade across my wrists, twice on each. As I'm doing this, I hear muffled thumps and a voice yelling for me to unlock the door. Carson must have gotten my note not long after I dropped it off and wants to convince me not to do this, we can talk about it. But it's too late. Everything's been pushed past the point of just talking them out. He was my world and then it all came crashing down. Feeling lightheaded my knees give way and I collapse on the floor, the blade slipping from my grip and making a small clattering sound when it hits the floor. I close my eyes. There's blood everywhere. I hear the door open and footsteps. Carson yells my name, a single shout as he kneels beside me. He's now yelling for John to find something to help stop the bleeding. Everything's getting fainter as seconds pass. I hear soft sniffing sounds and I realize that Carson's crying. Then I feel nothing.
I open my eyes and sigh. This hasn't been the first time that I've dreamed about killing myself. Hell, I've even considered it a few times. But then I think, "Who's gonna take care of Stuart?" Carson most likely won't want anything to with him and McKay…well he's happy with Elizabeth. My parents would most likely take him, but I don't want him growing up like I did. I was lucky enough to turn out as normal as I did. I haven't left my room in three weeks. John was nice enough to put me on "extended family leave" and told me to take as long as I needed to "sort things out" and Teyla took Stuart so "I could greave". Gee, that made me feel a whole lot better. I'm a complete mess; crying all the time. I've darkened all the windows in the place, so I haven't seen the sun at all. Heightmeyer came by and tried to get me to talk about all of this, but I can't. It's just too painful. Elizabeth stopped by as well and she's the only one who I really talked to. She tells me that Carson broke Rodney's nose in two places and that people are still talking about it. What she doesn't tell me is how people are also still talking about how Stuart isn't Carson's son and that's the reason he left me. She didn't have to tell me, I knew that they'd be talking about it. I wake up late in the morning, still dressed in the same clothes that I've worn the day before. Our bed feels so big and empty now that Carson's gone and it's just me. It feels like I've hit rock bottom. Have I? I wake up one morning and I feel like I've just had an epiphany. Like lightning has just struck my brain. I shower, get dressed and raise the blinds on the windows, letting in the sunlight. I enter the world of Atlantis for the first time in four weeks. As I make my way down the hallways I smile to those I pass by. They smile back and give me strange looks; they're expecting someone who's a complete mess and not the cool, calm, collected person that they see. I make my way to where Carson is staying and ring the Ancient's version of a doorbell.
Carson opens the door and says in an even tone, "Oh hello."
Before he can say anything else I say, "Listen I'm sorry for the way I treated you. You didn't deserve it. After what happened with Rodney and me…it felt like there was something there, but there wasn't. I've only loved one person and that's you. I understand if you want a divorce." I move to leave, but Carson grabs me and pulls me into his room. Before I can ask what's going on, he presses a finger to my lips and says, "I don' want you to go." He then removes his finger and kisses me. Hard. I return the kiss and ten seconds later we're ripping each other clothes off.
One good thing out of all of this is that Rodney hasn't shown up in the infirmary for two weeks. That's got to be some kind of record for him. Call me an ass for liking it, but my staff and I actually got some work done and we all enjoyed the peace and quiet. Steve told me that I broke his nose in two places. I didn't mean to hit him, it's just when I confronted him and he denied everything, I saw red and reacted. How else would you react towards that self-centered, pompous, self-centered, hypochondriac, ass of a Canadian doctor? It hurt me to leave her like that, but I needed to some space to think. Re-examine my life so far. I began to think about transferring back to the SGC. Even talked about it with Elizabeth at one point, but she convinced me to wait a few more weeks to make my final decision, until "everything calmed down." The first week it was all I could do to get out of bed and carry on like everything was normal. The second week it was a bit easier, and by the third week it was like second nature and some sense of normalcy returned. Even Steve and Melissa stopped asking me if I was ok, and the staff stopped walking like they were on pins and needles. But at night the tears still came and it's all I can do to make them go away. I realize that I miss her and want to go back, but I don't know how to do it. Then on my day off she appears in front of my door telling me that she's sorry for everything and that I didn't deserve to be treated like that and she'd understand if I want a divorce. Then she turns to leave and I don't want her to go. So I grab her hand and pull her in and before she can ask what's going on, I hush her and tell her that I want her to stay. I give her a hard kiss and by the way she returns it, I know that she feels the same way. Suddenly it's like we're like newlyweds again.
A/N: So I caved and combined the two endings.And sorry fortaking so long for updating. The disk I hadthis writen out on decided to get rid of most of thestuff, so I had to rewrite the ending.Kudos to BiteMeTechie for the "pull a Dallas" idea. I want to say that I don't concdone the use of suicide; if you have a problem talk to someone and get help. It scares yet at the same time intrigues me that I could write the first part so well. You all will find out the identity of our mystery Atlantian in the next chapter.