I crouched on a branch with narrowed eyes, [Dark Vision] active. In my hands was a pair of kunai, each held securely in a reverse grip. I could see exactly fifty-two of them, some gathered around campfires, laughing raucously, others patrolling their little camp with diligence I did not expect from their sort.

Then, I slipped into the Speed-Force and moved.

Being civilians, they stood no chance against a ninja even in ordinary terms. However, in my empowered state, I was even harder to see, let alone track with their naked eyes. The deed was done remarkably quickly, their throats slashed without much fanfare, and soon I stood alone in a field littered with corpses.

I sighed, sheathing my kunai in their pouch and ruffling my hair. How anticlimactic. I almost expected a boss to show up, you know, considering. Regardless, I simply shrugged and began looting the bodies. There wasn't much of worth besides money – most of them used discarded ninja weapons that weren't in very good shape. I amassed a very good seventy-six thousand ryo this way. Considering I had only around two thousand, before, this was a major improvement.

Storing the cash away into my inventory, I made my ways towards a tent somewhere in the middle of their clearing, eyes narrowed. The chief was still sleeping – good. I crouched and shot forward, slamming my hand down on his sleeping form and ending his miserable life immediately and without a struggle.

It was only then that I slipped out of the Speed-Force, a satisfied smile on my face. In just fifteen minutes, counting from the moment I apparated here, I ended one of the more dangerous gang s of bandits staking out the main highways between Konoha and Suna.

I allowed myself a moment of victory before I began to search his tent as well. Most of their valuables were stored here, and the rest was distributed amongst the others as prizes, it seemed. I found a few rare gems, which I left where they were. I did take the cash, which turned out to be a whopping four hundred thousand ryo. There were a few weapons that were in good shape – a naginata, a couple of tanto, and a good katana that didn't look too bad. I scanned it for good measure.

[Standard Steel Katana (Brown Sheath)

An average katana made of steel.

DMG: 27.5 + STR

Bonus Slashing Damage: 35%]

Oh, cool. I put it in my inventory and equipped it from there. The blade appeared on my back, length adjusted, handle just over my right shoulder. Nice. I felt like Ryu Hayabusa for a moment.

I shook it off and began to search more. Besides some expensive-looking art and jewelry, there wasn't much else. I shrugged it off because my work was done – I now probably had enough money to get myself a good ninja gear set. I shoved the guy's corpse off the bed and piled all the smaller valuables in it, then tied it up. Casting my eyes about the place again, I nodded and spun on my heel to apparate away.

Appearing in a poor village I passed by on the way here, I simply flung the sack high into the air – not an impossible feat for me given my [STR], even though I was only six. The jewelry rained down on the road with clinking sounds. In spite of the early hours of the morning, people raced forward and tried to grab as much as they could. It was a bit disheartening to see children get shoved out of the way by adults, but that's the way the world worked – the strong pushed the weak, and the weak pushed those weaker than them. In a world where children were raised as perfect killers, this rule was all the more applicable.

I shoved that thought away and straightened, recalling that I only had an hour's worth of time before I had to be at the Academy for team placements. In the week since the final exams, I had been so busy training my skills that I simply hadn't the chance to set out on this excursion till now, even though I gathered the information required the very night I passed, itself.

I apparated away, coming back into existence in the alley behind [Konoha Shinobi Armaments], and walked out as if I were there all along. Breathing deeply to rid myself of the phantom sensation of blood on my skin, I plastered a smile on my face and entered the shop.

"Ah, Gundan-kun!" the man behind the counter, one Sutiru Lee, grinned at me. "Finally come to get your shinobi gear?" his eyes then landed on the hilt of my new katana. "Ah, I see you already have a head-start."

"A gift, Lee oji-san." I assured him. "In fact," I drawled, untying the strap and offering the weapon up to the man. "Could you please inspect this? I'm not sure if it's battle-worthy. Meanwhile, I'll be browsing the shelves."

"Of course! It would be my pleasure." The man beamed. Let it not be said that Rock Lee only got his enthusiasm from Gai – the entire clan was like canon Naruto… but hyped up on sugar.

I forewent the more cloth-y section completely, save for grabbing a three-pack of black muscle-shirts and shinobi pants, and made my way to the leather section. I eyed the shelves for a long while, then finally settled on what looked like a dark-grey sleeveless battle-kimono, full arm-gloves that had metal plates on the back of the hand, and black boots. I also picked out two kunai holsters, one for each thigh, and two arm shuriken pouches that went on the underside of my hand. Making my way over to the consumable section, I bought an item pouch, a pack of shuriken, kunai, smoke-bombs, and ninja-wire. Deeming myself sufficiently outfitted, I made my way back to the counter and a frowning Sutiru.

"May I ask who gave you this, Gundan-kun?" the man asked, eyes never drifting from the sword.

Crap. Was it one of his? Think fast! "Um… it was one of the traveling merchants, Lee ji-san. I think she said she had found it on the roads near Konoha. Is something the issue?"

He looked up with dry mirth in his eyes. "Yes. One of the caravans meant to deliver to us was involved in an attempted robbery, days ago. Our forces managed to track down several pieces taken, but there were three pieces still missing. A naginata, a tanto, and this katana."

"Oh…" I trailed, 'appearing' a bit down. "If it is yours, you should keep it."

"Nonsense! No doubt she gave this to you for a good deed. Consider this nothing else." He smiled, offering me back the sword. "I hope you know how to use it…?"

"I'm not too bad." I replied, with a small smile. I slung the sword on my back and dropped my purchases on the counter. "Thank you, oji-san."

"You're welcome." He grinned and began to rifle through my purchases.

I paid the required amount (something around ninety grand) and walked away happily. I briskly moved into the same alley and opened up my inventory, storing my purchases away and equipping them from there to ensure the best fit. I had to assign the throwables to their pouches, something that surprised me. They linked directly to the total count in my inventory, so theoretically I could store almost unlimited items in my pouch. Well, unlimited of one kind, but still.

I finished my gear off by tying my hitai-ate to my upper left arm, covering a little strip of flesh visible between my kimono and arm-glove. Doing a quick cartwheel to test my movement, I smiled in satisfaction. I could move much easier in this set of clothes than I could in my civilian ones, but the feeling was not as unrestricted as the ROOT gear. Ah, well; you gotta make the best of what you have, right?

I took to the rooftops and began to make my way to the Academy. When the building came in sight, I took to its roof instead of its front door.

True to my memory, the [Location Collectible] was right there. I grinned as I reached out and touched it.

PING!

[You have discovered: Konoha Shinobi Academy! 7/50 Konoha locations discovered!

Please select one of the following –

5000 Exp

100 Perk Points.

30 Stat Points.]

Nice! It seems it really gets scaled very well indeed! I had noticed it before with the [Uchiha Senbei] collectible, but I had thought it might have to do with the fact that it was in a clan compound; apparently, I was wrong on that front.

Okay, let's do the math. Forty-three collectibles left, thirty points each. That would make… holy shit. One thousand, two-hundred, and ninety points…

Fuck! What should I do?! Should I search for them? Should I not? Should I only collect half?

And, and! These were just the Konoha ones! The trans-dimensional one had been incredibly powerful. But even excluding that, there are four other Great Countries, god knows how many normal villages, minor hidden villages, and other hidden locations all around the Elemental Nations. Just with those…

The game was trying to amp me up… but why? Was this Dormmamu's doing, or the Outsider's? Or, when the Outsider decided to interfere, did it somehow affect the system? Wait! Holy crap, why didn't I think of this before?! If the Outsider interfered, Dormammu might have washed his hands off this entirely! Did that mean he no longer had any control? Was this a simulation kinda deal or was this an alternate universe?! Could it be possible that I am in the Soul Stone? Nah, he can't remotely control such an important artifact… right?

So many questions… so little answers…

I sighed and rolled my shoulders. It wouldn't do for me to dwell on this now when I have so little information to draw from. I need to gather more information before I can even begin to comprehend this clusterfuck of universes… where's Jiminy Cricket when you need him?

I accepted the stat points and quickly distributed them through my stats.

[Character Page

Gundan – Level 38

Title: Outsider's Chosen

Next Level: 5000/18,000xp

HP - 590

QI - 590

RR - 590

CON - 49

STR - 49

AGL - 101

INT - 49

LCK - 101

WIS - 49]

Cool. Another point in each of the auxiliary stats should see me gain new skills. I wonder what they'll be for [STR] and [CON]…?

I turned away from the spot the collectible used to be in, now vanished. I'll scour the village for them after team placement. Especially since, once we go outside the village, there's no telling what can or will happen.

I paused when I felt a quite shimmer in the air next to me and cocked my head. Odd. That reminded me of… something, but I couldn't place what. Oh well.

I walked over to the edge of the roof and down the wall, easily spotting and going towards the correct window in order to reach the class assigned to us for today.

"It seems I'm the last one in." I flippantly commented, easily letting go of the chakra in my feet, flipping gracefully in the air and landing.

"Show off." Biko scoffed.

Mai sighed, a small smile on her face. "As long as you're not late."

Hm. I hadn't noticed it before, but hardly any of my friends ted their age. Ryosuke did, and even Hideki, to an extent, but none of the rest acted like the below-ten children they were. Was this an effect of spending time around me, or was this always how they were going to turn out? I could understand Itachi being mature beyond his years, but…

"We do have a few minutes until we are officially needed." Itachi allowed, eyes floating to the clock on the classroom wall.

Speaking of whom, I scanned him.

[Uchiha Itachi – Lv 16

HP – 250

CP – 600

Constitution - 15

Strength - 24

Agility - 32

Intelligence - 50

Luck - 2

Wisdom - 51

Uchiha Itachi, the heir to the Uchiha Clan leadership, is a boy with a very different view of the world than those of his clansmen. He wants to ensure that his village and clan is safe, by any means necessary.]

Holy shit! Main character stats, man. He's got a lot more chakra than me, and his wisdom is his next best stat. His [AGL] isn't bad either! But… I thought you get only five stat points per level…? His stats are obviously way higher than they should be! The only way possible is…

Wait… don't… don't tell me…

FUCK! It makes sense, too! The reason I couldn't hone myself through practice is because of [Gamer's Body] – a skill that is impossible for anyone other than me to have! No one else has such a handicap! That means… everyone around me, even my future enemies, can get better with practice! And there's probably no limit, either, if the usual human body is taken into account! This explains the stats of the [Pride Demon], too!

"Fucking hell! I'm literally getting fucked on a cactus! I'm being super nerfed here!"

Everyone's gazes snapped towards mine so quickly I swore I heard their neck snapped. I wonder why… until I realized I swore out loud.

"Um… I was talking about… um… training." I offered. I swear the heat on my cheeks could cook eggs.

They continued to stare.

"Dammit."

"Alright, boys and girls." Our last homeroom teacher spoke, standing in front of the line we made with a proud smile. "The best and brightest Konoha has to offer, you are. Never have there ever been such high scores all across the board in the history of Konoha. That goes doubly so for you, Gundan-kun, since you scored consistently perfect in every single examination you've sat through."

I ducked my head in embarrassment. It wasn't really that big a deal. Memorization just came easy to me, and I even understood things a lot better in this life than my previous. I wonder if it's because of my high sorcery attributes.

"You are now ninja of Konoha." He beamed. "As proud shinobi of the leaf, you may have to someday lay your lives down in the name of the village. Given that there have been almost as many wars as there have been Hokage, this is almost a certainty for most ninja."

I heard someone gulping. Ouch. It was so loud, it felt like it hurt.

"However, I expect far greater things from you than martyrdom." He said, his grin dropping in favor of a softer smile. "Well, let's get to the team assignments. Before we begin, though," he paused, rifling through the folder in his hands and pulling out a stiff piece of paper. "Ryosuke-kun, your application to be apprenticed in the Torture and Interrogation Department has passed. You are expected immediately."

The boy took the piece of paper delicately, almost as if he were scared it would spontaneously combust. "Th- thank you, sir."

"I really hope you succeed in your goals." The instructor smiled.

Ryosuke offered us all a hesitant grin before he made his way out the door… unsteadily.

"Right. As for the six of you… well, here you are." He sighed, pulling out a paper. "Team 2 – Hyuuga Hideki, Nara Biko, and Kurama Kitsuna; your sensei is Tsunade."

Almost as soon as he said this, and our jaws all hit the floor, said woman calmly strolled in through the door. "Team 2, with me." She barked, gesturing with her fingers and turning about, not even waiting for the three to follow as she immediately strode out.

My three friends almost fell over themselves trying to follow her out the door.

Our instructor sweat-dropped. "I hope they'll be okay," he muttered, chewing his lip for a moment. "Regardless, moving on. Team 3 – Uchiha Itachi, Yamanaka Mai, and Gundan; your sensei is Orochimaru."

My heart began to dance for joy as the very man I was searching for strode through the door, garbed in the standard Konoha Jonin gear, green edition. Hm, he does look a little aesthetically pleasing and off-putting at the same time… how does it even work?

"Team 3, follow me." He hissed, eyes zeroing on me for a moment before he turned and walked out.

I traded a glance with both my future teammates. Itachi and Mai both looked unsettled by the man… well, that just wouldn't do. In that very moment, I decided in exactly what way I'd be acting towards the man.

I grabbed their hands and pulled them out, having to run a little to keep up with the man's long strides. They soon gathered themselves and gently tugged their hands away, following me down the hallway on their own.

"Orochimaru-sama, the Orochimaru, is our sensei?!" Mai whisper-shouted. "And Tsunade-sama is the other teacher assigned to the six of us!"

"I guess our scores really did make an impact." Itachi mused, eyeing me speculatively.

"I take back every time I've ever complained about the hell you put us through, Gundan-kun." Mai said, eyes filled with joy. "We get to work under Orochimaru-sama!"

I wasn't certain, but I was pretty sure the man walking in front of us cocked his head on hearing that. Hm. Foolish Mai, assuming that he couldn't hear her. He was a ninja of high caliber, after all. If his summons were anything to go by, he was even of the rogue inclination, like me.

"I was under the impression you valued Tsunade-sama the most from the Sannin?" Itachi asked, arching an eyebrow.

"What, just because I'm a girl?" Mai scoffed, flipping her admittedly long hair over her shoulder. "Tsunade-sama may have single-handedly created an antidote for some of the worst poisons Suna used in the last war, but Orochimaru-sama concocted even deadlier ones to use against them, in turn. His knowledge of venoms and biochemistry is the best the Elemental Nations has to offer! He's every Yamanaka's dream sensei… save for a member of our own clan, of course."

That surprised me. I'd heard of the Tsunade-Suna accomplishment, but not the Orochimaru one. Was that even canon…? "And he summons snakes!" I excitedly whispered. "They're, like, the best thing since ever! I should only hope to be worthy of their attention." I sighed, not fake in the least. Snakes were hella awesome!

"Orochimaru-sama is also, arguably, the strongest of the Sannin." Mai continued. I was almost certain the man was listening now. I contemplated activating [Dark Vision] just to see the look on his face. I doubt it would be anything telling. "Jiraiya-sama has a mastery of Fuinjutsu. Tsunade-sama has a grasp of Iryojutsu unparalleled by anyone in Konoha since it was founded. But Orochimaru sama has a mastery of them both, and even ninjutsu on top of that." she whispered. "Every Yamanaka recognizes him as the true strongest Sannin!"

"He sounds… formidable." Itachi whispered back, looking at the man speculatively. "Is he not also the head of the Konoha Scientific Research Division?"

Wait… that already existed? "Of course! And-"

"If the three of you are quite finished…?" he hissed, turning around with an expressionless visage. Hah! As if he wasn't just basking in our praise! "Please note the location. Training Ground 3 will, from now on, be where we meet at every morning."

I blinked and looked around. In our whispering haze, we reached the place without any of us knowing.

"For now, introductions." He said, gesturing to the ground and taking a seat himself. The three of us awkwardly followed. "Information is a shinobi's best friend. Sharing information with your teammates of things that are relevant to your shinobi career is vital for survival in battle; whether it be your own or your teammate's lives on the line."

He stopped abruptly after that, looking at us expectantly. Since neither Itachi or Mai looked ready to go first, I raised my hand instead. "Hello. Pleased to meet you. My name is Gundan, and I am six years old. I like my family and chicken. I dislike traitors, oysters, and snails." I added an exaggerated shiver after the last one. "My hobbies are singing, training, and looking after children. My dream for the future is to work in the dark so that those in the light need not sully their hands."

I offered every present a charming smile. Mai shook her head.

"I said, 'things that are relevant to your shinobi career', Gundan-kun." Orochimaru spoke, amusement clearly dancing in his eyes. "I think combat capabilities does fall under that rather broad category.

My eyes narrowed. Was he informed by Hiruzen? Well, it would have been stupid for the man not to have. "I think I prefer to keep my skillset to myself unless and until we pass the Genin exam, Orochimaru-sama."

The man offered only a small quirk of his lips. "Very well. Moving along…?"

"Ah, yes!" Mai spoke, shifting uncomfortably. It was an odd sight to see from the usual social-butterfly-esque persona she depicted. Thankfully, all of us already knew there was a 'true' Genin test from our complete read-through of the Academy's library, or else I'd have credited that for her imbalance. "My name is Yamanaka Mai. I'm six years old. I like flowers and poisons, and don't like bugs and high humidity. My hobbies are flower-pressing and reading. My dream for the future is… well… I'm not really sure yet." She finished, wringing her hands. Odd, how hero-worship can change a person so drastically.

Orochimaru simply nodded, not commenting. His eyes twinkled a bit when they landed on Itachi. Ah, his desire for the Sharingan. "And…?"

"Hai." Itachi nodded, straightening. "My name is Uchiha Itachi. I am six years old. I like shuriken and pocky, and dislike salty food and people with no patience. My hobbies are training, spending time with my family, and reading philosophy. My dream for the future is to safeguard Konoha and my clan."

"Very well." Orochimaru nodded. "You three know my name. I am thirty-nine. I like completing tasks efficiently and dislike fools. My hobbies are… none of your business." He mused, smiling a little at how our faces fell at that. "My dream for the future is to master all ninjutsu."

There was a minute of awkward silence. His eyes wandered between me and Itachi too many times for it to be normal. Mai was just staring at him as if he were the second coming of Nutella or something. I was pretty sure I saw another distortion, a few ways behind Orochimaru, but I dismissed it. What could it be, anyway?

"Your test will be administered tomorrow, at this very spot." He finally spoke, standing fluidly. "I do recommend you come fully prepared… it would be folly otherwise." He smirked and then vanished in a swirl of leaves. Whether or not due to my high [AGL], I was able to see a blur race out from his position. Hm… so did the stat doubles into something like Perception from Fallout…? How did that even work?

Almost as soon as a second had passed, I was assaulted most grievously. I was, in fact, pretty sure my HP had reduced when I heard the shrill shriek from Mai. "OH MY, OH MY! Our sensei s Orochimaru of the Sannin! I think I'm going to die!" A very real possibility had the man already begun human experimentation. Had he…? I was uncertain.

Itachi winced. "Mai-san, do control your volume."

The overexcited girl just screamed louder. "Oh, hush, you two! I have to go and tell my family, stat!" she said, and turned to make her way out of the clearing. But she stopped, turned, and gathered the two of us into a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she fervently let out, and then ran.

Itachi and I looked at her rather alarmingly traveling form with fond hints of delight. "She's really excited about this, isn't she?" I asked, ruffling my hair. "And here I thought she was all about gossip and flowers." Totally not drawing unfair parallels at all. In my defense, it didn't help that she looked a lot like Ino. Speaking of whom, I really should persist around Yamanaka Flowers to get a look at her.

Itachi turned an amused smile on me. "Some would say you are being unfair." He remarked, crossing his arms. "Others would say you were correct, even if it was a year's old impression."

"We all changed a lot." I sighed, pulling out a cigarette from a pocket. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not in the least; please." He gestured. And why not? The fanfic ideas of chakra purging our bodies was, obviously, false, but we're literally being bred to kill – a few concessions can be made. "I was unaware you indulged."

"Stress does that to you." I smiled, taking a deep drag. "Any idea what our test will be like?"

"From what I gather, Orochimaru-sama is both the strongest, yet the subtlest of the Sannin." The other boy mused. A hand found its way to his chin, and he adopted an expression not too far from 'constipated'. How cute. "He dreams to master ninjutsu, but he only seldom uses anything besides his summons in combat. He seems to be calculating, yet he acts far too aloof for this to be of any consequence. I believe… that our test will be a three-on-one battle. A means to gauge our attrition, if you will."

"Ah. That's how he'll test our teamwork because we don't hold a candle to a Jonin of his repute." I nodded sagely. "It's no wonder your clan head the Police – you're all too damn smart! Mikoto oba-san must be so proud!"

He blushed. "I simply pointed out facts and made a reasonable deduction. Given the fact that his two team-mates are front-line specialists, it would hardly be a leap."

I waved him off. "Whatever you say, you're awesome." I declared, crossing my arms and raising my nose in the air. "Nothing you say can deter me from that 'deduction'." I spoke clearly to emphasize the heavy quotation marks. Itachi was a badass character, and he should know it.

The other boy smiled fondly. "Hai, okaa-san." He droned.

I offered him a middle finger in response. He wouldn't know what it meant, but it would get the job done for me.

"Well, I should best get going." He muttered, stretching his arms. "It had been a long morning."

"Wait! Um…" I trailed, then a lightbulb went on over my head. I reached around my back and surreptitiously pulled out a certain object from my inventory. "Um… I found this the other day in one of the training grounds, and… I wanted you to have it." I rushed out, almost pushing him off his feet when I handed my gift to him. "I hope you find a use for it."

In his hands was the Uchiha Gunbai I got as a quest reward for his optional objective. His eyes wandered over it, probably weighing it against weapons he had seen in his own clan's armory. "Gundan-san…"

"Don't worry, I have a present for Mai, too." I assured him. Well, I didn't, but either the tanto or the Naginata ought to do the work for her. If not… then I could just go buy something else. "It's just… it's from your clan, you know? So, I thought you should have it."

He looked at me very strangely then, blushing. For some reason, I had a strange urge to check his reputation meter. "Thank you." He said, holding it, seemingly comfortably, with both hands. "I… shall give you my gift tomorrow. I had one picked out, but I was not sure if it was an appropriate sentiment."

I waved him off. "It's fine! Just bring your family to Naruto's birthday again and we're even." I smiled. Naruto's first birthday was nothing short of a celebration throughout Konoha. Given that I had paraded him enough to be liked, forget hated, literally everyone wanted to be there! It was the first time I had cried since coming to this life – Naruto would know love, he would know affection; this, me being someone who had very little of the latter in my past life, was something that mattered to me a lot. It was one of the few accomplishments I allowed myself to believe I was responsible for.

"You deserve a gift." Itachi insisted. "If it wasn't for you, none of the Konoha Seven would be where we are now. I… I think we would be far from the people you have made us out to be."

I looked to the ground. If it wasn't for me, he'd grow up to be an unsung hero, credited with the murdering of his clan when he, in fact, saved the whole village. Plus, I hadn't even seen a mention of the others – not even a passing one. I'd already played havoc on the timeline…

I shook myself off. So what? Things are definitely going to be different now, but I was right here, waiting to strike. And… eh. Do I need those stat points to keep up with the likes of Kaguya and Madara when I have my own powerhouses at my side? "That doesn't make much sense. I am only one person after all." I smiled. The moment he made to open his mouth, I tutted. "Nah-ah! Just… go home, share the news with Mikoto oba-san and Fugaku oji-san. Don't worry your cute little head over the details, okay? Okay."

The boy blushed before he nodded. "Alright. We shall meet here tomorrow at the allotted time. Also, I daresay I will be the one informing Mai of our deductions…?"

"Sure. Go ahead." I waved him off. "Bye!"

He chuckled, something I'd never seen him do in canon, and turned about, offering me a backward wave as he walked. I smiled at his back.

Yeah, things were going to go off the rails anytime. Do I really need to be OP to handle them, though?

I withdrew a cigarette from my inventory and lit it with a lighter, inhaled the now-comfortable sensation, and exhaled. I looked at it and smiled. My last life had been a fucking mess. Substance-addicted, expelled delinquent, reading fan-fiction all day and even writing some… the world of words was such a good escape for me, then, away from my then-overwhelming troubles. Couldn't go a night without getting smashed, or an hour without cigarettes. That reminds me, I should really get some alcohol to sip on. Isn't sake the local equivalent?

Eh. I was so swamped in problems I'd created for myself, last time, that I didn't have the freedom to… breathe. It's funny, how often we're the cause of our issues, and yet we find something or someone else to blame. Ah, the beauty of denial.

I scoffed. I handled my life pretty fine without planet-destroying moves, my way of death aside. I was a mess, but I lived in the little things. It's why I…

Why I…

FUCK! I was supposed to be six feet under, not fighting multiple wars for who knew which entities the universe was ready to throw at me! Well, technically 'multiverse', but the point remains. I mean-

I flew backward, cigarette falling to the ground as some instinct told me to move. I looked up, and in the sound of an explosion, the area where I was previously standing was rent a crater… and that distortion thing was in the dead center!

This time, I heard it. The sound of energy coalescing, forming into something… else. Given that I had practiced a skill that entailed it in the week between the finals and placements, I was more than capable of recognizing that subtle thrum. But… it couldn't be the same skill, could it? I quickly launched myself, side-ways, this time, and picked up water from the grass with my feet, using the moment I landed to twirl and send as many deadly ice-spikes as I could make of the limited water.

I pulled out more water and waited, but I couldn't see that distortion anymore.

"So, it's true. You can feel us."

I whirled around as quickly as I could, but what I felt to be a hand grasped my own in a solid grip. Not to be outdone, I used my leg to deliver the volume at my disposal, hoping to push this invisible bastard away, but it was not to be.

The grip still remained strong, but some sort of vague outline showed a humanoid in front of me, now. "Your strange manipulation of the elements also affects us." A monotone voice spoke. It sounded very familiar, but damn, I couldn't remember where I heard it! "My master is right to want you in our control."

"Not happening, fuckface!" I snarked, charging a [Cero] with my finger – an impossible-seeming black ball which pointed straight at the figure's face. "Eat this!"

"Impossible!" The figure snapped, grip loosening, possibly in surprise. Big mistake.

Wrenching my hand out, it found itself as close to the figure's face as it could get. I refrained from being the standard manga moron and screaming my technique. It didn't impact its effectiveness, how shocking. In an explosion of grey reishi, I was tossed back with backlash.

Almost subconsciously, I activated [Dark Vision], and nearly lost my stance.

Standing in the disappearing cloud, with a sparkling bit of machinery on his haori well on its way to falling off, was someone very familiar to me. Someone… someone who I once felt great sorrow for, back when I was naïve enough to think the characters in manga were real and actually died.

"How is it that you can do that technique?" he asked, dusting off the tech on his clothes. "Hm… it seems I must inform Syazel-Apporo that his work is subpar… as it seems to be, these days."

"Ulquiorra?" I gasped, eyes wide. "Ulquiorra Cifer?" Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is not what I needed, right now!

The hollow's eyes landed on me with more steel behind them – an impressive feat given that the rest of his face was as impassive as was possible. "You know of me." It was a statement, not a question. "I see. Aizen-sama, as always, was correct. I should also assume, then, that his coinage of your use was, too."

Aizen?! "Okay, let's just back up, here. I don't want any trouble." I said, bringing my hands forward and up… in preparation to bind him! My fingers immediately flew through familiar movements, and I expected Ulquiorra to fall to kneel on the ground.

But… he didn't. He just stood there, not even arching an eyebrow. "Was that meant to do something?"

Fuck! He's a hollow – he doesn't have water flowing through his veins! It's probably condensed reishi or something! Plan B!

With a flourish of my hand, I withdrew my blade from over my shoulder, and let instincts guide me as I fell into a stance. I was so out of my league, it wasn't even funny. "How… how are you even here?! What do you want?"

He tilted his head, although I couldn't tell what emotion lay behind the action. Dammit, his tear-like marks were too distracting! "Ah, finally, questions worthy of your current stature. However, it is not my place to answer you, trash." He then turned and began to walk. "Do not kill him, or Aizen-sama will be most displeased."

I was confused for only a moment. The next, I was flying through the air with already-fading pain distracting me on my right side. Fuck! I forgot that members of the Espada always travel in pairs to the 'real world'!

I slammed my sword into the ground to slow my slide, then kicked off, landing on the side of a tree. Standing where I previously was, was a familiar grinning face. The blue hair instantly gave him away. "Grimmjow Jaegerjaques!"

"Damn straight." He grinned, showing sharp teeth. Damn. If I didn't know he was basically a panther, I'd be super creeped out. "Now, come with us, brat, and you won't get hurt. That punch was barely a quarter of my strength."

My eyes widened, quickly flitting to my HP Bar.

[HP - 219/590]

Okay… I had practically no chance against these people. Dammit, I need help, and fast!

The fear that threatened to consume me was quickly pushed back. Okay, so I was facing impossible odds. How could I even them? Someone helping me would do it, but… how…? Oh, right!

I took a deep breath and slipped into the speed-force, then turned on my heel and began running. If I could get to anyone… maybe Orochimaru was still around here somewhere!

My vision was only occupied with trees in one moment. The next, Grimmjow was in front of me and had a fist firmly planted in my gut. I practically felt my HP go down to critical levels – dammit, he's fast!

"Neat trick." He laughed. "But useless. Zero many times is still zero."

"Quit playing with our target, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra sighed. I heard a… strange tearing noise. Oh crap, he opened a Garganta! "The sooner we return to Aizen-sama, the sooner we can be done with this."

"Shut up, paste-face!" the other Espada replied. "You're not-"

I tuned them out, panic coming back full-force. Shit! I don't know if I can apparate back from another dimension! Wait, I'm such a dumbass! I could have apparated away at the start! I closed my eyes, concentrated, and tried it. I could still get away! I could get help-

And then darkness.