The polygon creature walked up to the microphone to announce the next match. It was going to be difficult to announce the match over Bowser's wails.
"Will Falco and Peach please report to the telepads for the next match? Just come up the stairs on the sides of the podium." The polygon creature left the microphone and opened the doors on the telepads. Falco strutted up the stairs fearlessly, as if he were sure he would win. He walked into the telepad, crossed his arms, and winked at Zelda. After a few minutes, there was still no sign of Peach. The polygon creature walked back up to the microphone to speak again. "Will Peach please report to the telepods?" The creature waited for about another thirty seconds, and then spoke again. "Peach if you do not report to the podium in the next thirty seconds, you will be disqualified from the match." A few seconds later, a pouting Peach walked up, looking like she had just been run over by a truck. The polygon creature ignored her appearance and just walked over to the control panel on the podium. Peach kept muttering words to herself while she cried.
"Mario, why did you have to go?" and " It's not fair." were the most common of the words she muttered. She finally pulled herself together and stepped on the telepad. A few minutes passed, and then Falco and Peach were teleported to the area known as "Jungle Japes". Falco and Peach appeared on small opposite platforms, and in the middle was a larger platform that had a barrel on it.
"3" As the countdown began, Falco changed into a dashing position, and Peach tried to dry off her tears with her dress. "2" Falco looked at Peach, who was still drying her face off. "1" Peach stopped drying her face and got into her fighting stance. "GO!" Falco started dashing towards Peach. He jumped onto the middle platform and prepared to jump over the barrel. Peach looked over at Falco, and pulled out an umbrella. She jumped up and began gliding toward Falco using it. When she was above him, Falco smiled and pulled out his laser gun. He shot her umbrella, piercing a hole in it.
Peach screamed as she fell to the ground. Falco rolled out of the way, and Peach landed hard on the barrel. The impact broke the barrel, which caused a ball with a red top and white bottom, a pokeball, to fly out, landing right at Falco. Peach stood up, holding her back as she did. Falco picked up ball, and threw it at Peach. It landed at her feet, and light rays began to emerge from the now opening crack in the middle of the ball. It finally was opened all the way, and a fish with a large red body and vacant eyes. It started flopping around, making strange noises.
"Carp Carp Magikarp!" It said in a retarded voice, and then it flopped off the platform into the raging river, where it was washed away.
"Okaaaaaaaaaaaay." Peach said while she watched the Magikarp get washed away. Falco shook his head annoyed and prepared to fight again. Peach pulled out a tennis racket and waited for Falco to come to her. He started running at her with one fist held back. Once he was close enough, he launched his fist forward at Peach. But Peach put her tennis racket in front of her to block the punch. Falco put his fist through the racket.
"You little slut!" Falco stated as he looked at his now bloody knuckles. Peach looked at him with her meanest, toughest looking face (which really wasn't that tough at all).
"Nobody calls me a slut!" she yelled back at him, and she pulled out a golf club. She pulled it back, preparing to swing it. Falco was still focused on his sore knuckles, and didn't notice the gold club until it was way too late. It was swung in an upward motion, directly at Falco's beak. The club hit the beak, hard. The force from the swing made Falco fly backward with his beak in the air. He landed on the platform he had started on, very close to the side of it, so close that a slight gust of wind could push him off. Falco rubbed his beak, which felt strange. He looked at it and noticed it was very bloody, and it also had a large crack in it, which was most likely the source of the blood. He stood up and looked over at Peach, who was now magically floating towards him.
"Now youth gone and pithed me oth you thlut." Falco stated with his broken broken beak, which would explain the strange way of speaking. "You'll pay for it with your life too." With this, Falco engulfed himself in a fire ring. Peach looked at him confused, but continued floating towards him. A few moments later, Falco shouted loudly and launched himself at Peach with his arms and fists outstretched. Peach, who was not expecting an attack so soon after she injured his beak, was caught off guard. He hit her dead on on her torso, and sent her flying back a few yards. She landed hard on the wood platform in the middle, so hard that where her body hit, a large crack was made.
Peach moaned out in pain and tried to start standing up. But before she had the chance to get up, Falco dashed over her at light speed, leaving a long and deep gash in her belly area. She fell back down into the crack, and her head fell back. Falco just gave off a cocky smile and looked at Peach.
"You thouldn't hath methed with me." He stated as he walked toward her. Once he was in arm"s length of her, he lifted his leg. He sighed and stomped down on her. This was enough to send Peach through the crack into the raging river. She was quickly washed away by the current, and was sent off a waterfall, never to be seen again. But the good side to this was that she could see Mario again, so maybe it was for the better.
Falco was teleported back to the stadium podium, where a few polygon creatures rushed him into the medical room. Captain Falcon had been returned to the crowd during the match, in perfect condition. This made the other warriors mad, because they had a hard time watching the fight with thick headed Captain Falcon bragging about his match. Link was ready to cut his head off with his sword, but Zelda convinced him not to, although it was hard for her to, the being she wanted to do it as well.
The words "Falco wins" kept flashing across the large screen, as a polygon creature walked up to the podium to announce the next battle.