I've decided to take the plot a little more slowly in this story. Sorry to all the people who expected to meet the person Lisa falls in love with in this chapter…. I don't think we'll get to him this chapter. Sorry 'bout that!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all my WONDERFUL reviewers!! I have gotten nothing but positive feedback, and so I will most definitely continue.
This story is dedicated to one of my friends named Alison, who is one of the biggest Simpsons fans I know and on whom I partially modeled my new Lisa. Here's to you, Blondie!
P.S: Please tell me which signature you all like better. I'm experimenting with new ideas.
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Spinning for Hours
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by Seaoknarnar
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Chapter 2: Much Needed Correspondence
The day before I was supposed to start my "new life as a mature and responsible high-school freshperson" (as my middle-school principal so eloquently phrased it), I was lying around, staring at my wall, contemplating suicide. I was trying to think of the least painful way I could pull it off. I came to the conclusion that pills would be too painful, slitting my wrists would be too bloody, and getting to a bridge or tall building to jump off of would take too much time and effort. Of course I was not planning to kill myself anytime soon, but I never knew if I would get desperate in the future. These things just can't be pulled off at the last second, and for a wimp like me I needed a lot of time to find a solution that was relatively painless.
Well, after I exhausted all the possible options in my head, I decided that on my last day of freedom I might as well do something fun. Of course, there was not much I could do in that little town. (I had seen all the movies, and been to all the plays, and many of the stores were closed, it being a Sunday and all.) So I decided to go online and read some fanfictions of my favorite television show, Disfunkshunl Famliy, and excellent cartoon show about a stupid family and all their madcap adventures.
Before I started on the stories, I decided to check my email. You can imagine my happiness at finding a letter from Tommy, because he hadn't talked to me in almost a week and I was nearly dying!
To: jazz_blues@duffnet.net
From: od_one@duffnet.net
Hey Spike! (Spike was Tommy's nickname for me, because my hair used to be so spiky.)
Hope you're well! I really am not…:-(. Guess where I live now? If you guessed New York, then you're one hell of a guesser. Actually, I live in an Amish district of New York.
XP
Now really, I have nothing against the Amish, but for a kid like me who grew up on flush toilets, I'm finding the switch a little difficult. And don't even get me started on electricity; I asked an Amish dude where I could plug in my boom box, and he smashed it and said that it was the devil's machine. XP
I think the only reason the Amish people let us in was because my dad has bought a lot of furniture from this particular district. I guess my dad thinks that I will reform and become a good little Amish boy by living in this community. The only way I have reformed so far was to bike 5 miles out of the district to a nearby town so I could use a library computer. Apparently my dad doesn't expect me to do so much biking, or he would have taken my bicycle away. I'm surprised he's letting me keep anything at all that resembles modern machinery. He claims that all of our possessions are "sins against God," so we're getting rid of most of our "worldly possessions." I conveniently did not tell him about my under-the-floorboard stash of Buddhist books and illegal fireworks. And I expect that he won't find out until it's too late ;D.
So I guess you're starting school tomorrow, huh. You told me that you got in to MBHS's magnet program? Good for you! All three of you from JSMS will do well in that program, I'm sure. I'm going to be home schooled in the courses of Biblical Interpretation, Modern Evangelism, Creation, The Evils of Darwinism, and God's Algebra. - - I think I'll run away ASAP.
And in case you're wondering, carbon monoxide poisoning is a much too stuffy way to kill yourself. Just thought I'd let you know.
Love, "the od one"
Hmmm, carbon monoxide poisoning, interesting. It didn't even occur to me. But I think it is too stuffy.
Of course, I quickly wrote a reply back to Tommy, seeing as how I wouldn't have much free time once school started.
To: od_one@duffnet.net
From: jazz_blues@duffnet.net
Hey Toddy (my personal nickname for Tommy that really pissed him off),
Ewwww, school! Don't remind me!
I was looking through some of Homer's old junk, and guess what I found. A squishy rubber Buddha! He's so squishy (in a divine sort of way, of course)!
Ha ha, you have to be Amish! Personally I like my indoor pluming and television, but to each his own I guess ^_^ ! I take pity on you, and I promise to come visit you sometime in my life, if I ever get in your area!
You wouldn't believe how much has happened in six days! Apu finally, FINALLY, got arrested, ARRESTED, by the health department. He was trying to get rid of some old syringes by stuffing them in hot dogs and selling to hot dogs to unsuspecting customers. And Skinner retired, and now Willie is the new principal. Needless to say, Springfield Elementary will soon have a new dress code ^_^. Something with a little plaid in it, I reckon. And Ralph did a really good job on his presentation to the Power Plant on the dangers of unstable hydrogen fusion in the Plant's equipment. He got a standing ovation, believe it or not. And lastly, our own beloved Professor Frink finally quit working on his machine to find the end of pi. He got the programming completed, but he was having trouble designing the spherical canister to hold it in…something about the circumference not being adequate enough. So except for those few exceptions, life has gone on mundanely in the same way it usually does.
Don't get downhearted! I'm sure in time the Amish will come to accept you as one of them, and you will adjust happily to their lifestyle ::coughnotcough:: If you need a place to run away to, I know a good tavern that will accept anyone so long as they have a buck or two!
Love, Spike
I sent the email to Tommy, and then I decided to get offline and call Martin, because I had a few questions about school the next day.
I dialed his number, and he picked up. "Hello," he said, in a much deeper voice than I had heard last.
"Hey Martin, this is Lisa," I responded. "I hardly recognised you! Though I'd have to say that it's an improvement over the old!"
"Yeah, I thought so too," he responded. "Now can you get to the point, because I'm kind of in the middle of something. Nelson and I are gonna go skateboarding."
I raised one of my eyebrows in surprise, because evidently Martin had changed over the summer a lot more than just his voice.
"And then after that," he continued, "we're going to go to the museum to see the exhibit on poodles through the ages."
Apparently he hadn't changed as much as I first thought. That relieved me. And I continued. "So what do we need to bring tomorrow?" I asked.
"Nothing except our ID cards. Be sure to remember! They won't let you in without one! Ah, Lisa, Nelson says he's gonna punch me if I don't hang up soon. I've gotta go punch him first, talk to ya tomorrow!" He hung up.
I put the phone back on the receiver, and went up to my room to sit on my bed and contemplate one of the most bizarre telephone conversations I've ever had. I also decided to meditate over the next day of school, and the hope that with the arrival of school I wouldn't be so lonely anymore.
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Well, I think that's a pretty good chapter. It's a little lighter than the last one, which I think is necessary. But don't worry: the plot will start in the next chapter. And finally, FINALLY, you'll get to meet Mr. Mystery Love, who some of the reviewers have already identified correctly. And don't worry, this will NOT be a Lisa/Ralph story! I'm not that crazy…
I feel kind of bad for making Ralph smart and Martin kind of cool… You'll see them in the next chapter!
Please, review and tell me what you think! Your reviews will help make me feel guiltier for not updating so quickly, and could even cause me to update sooner!
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