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June 1, 2004
::takes out big bat, proceeds to go Dobby on herself:: Bad authoress! OW! Bad authoress! OW OW! Well, if you wish to look on the positive side, it has been less than 2 months… ; But in all honesty, I had intended to update sooner, but I've been working on school stuff ( EXAMS COMING UP! ::hyperventilates:: )and other fanfics.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all your patience! I am ASTOUNDED at the number of reviews I have gotten! At this point, it's at 96 (::eyes bug out::), and seeing as how I haven't updated since April, that is incredible, and makes a lazy authoress soooo happy. So GIANT SQUISHY HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL WHO REVIEWED CHAPTER 8!
Ignore all the random dots everywhere, that's the only way I could get it to do the spacing properly ::grinds teeth::.
More after the chapter…
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Spinning for Hours
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by Seaoknarnar
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Chapter 9: The Telephone
One Friday afternoon in mid-October (where had the weeks gone?), I was walking home with Needa and Anna, and also with the reserved Akila and the charismatic Amaryllis. We had been absolute basket cases at school all day, because we were (somewhat juvenily) excited about the overnight we had planned. After all, Homer was out of town, so why shouldn't we take advantage of the empty house? (Of course, in hindsight, it was not a very good idea, but I'm getting ahead of myself.)
In fact, we had been so loud and vocal during school about the topic when we should have been doing conic sections, Mrs. Finch had given us detention (a first for me, and I will not soon forget it). Which explained why we were walking home through the chilly October afternoon, with my four companions lugging their overnight things with them.
"I can't believe none of you have seen the Re-Deadening!" exclaimed Needa exuberantly. "It's the greatest! The best part is when the girl is sitting in the room, and the doll—"
"C'mon, don't ruin it for them!" I interjected. "Besides, you're wrong. The best part is when the gardener—"
"OK, both of you shut up! We can decide the best part for ourselves, thank you very much," yelled Anna. "And besides, that movie came out, what, six years ago? I was only seven! What parent would let a seven-year-old see that movie?"
"Well, Homer dragged Bart, Rodd, Todd, and me to that movie, and forced us to watch it," I said, smiling while reminiscing. "Of course, that was when Todd was still the pathetic Todd, not the Tommy I know and love today."
"Ooh, Lisa's got a boyfriend!" chorused Amaryllis, an overenthusiastic sophomore that was more Needa's friend than mine.
"Hardly," I replied dryly. "He was my best friend – my best platonic friend – before he moved away. And he was quite a character, too." I told them stories of Tommy's escapades all the way home, and whether they were amused or not, it did help to stave off the cold.
"This is the couch," I said, pointing to the old orange couch, "this is the TV, and these are sodas. Feel free to help yourselves to all of the above. I'll just get the Soy Crunchies, in the kitchen."
I left a room full of loud, enthusiastic, high-on-life girls to retrieve our favorite snack. My eyes fell upon the telephone, and I decided that it might be wise to tell Homer that I was having a wild sleepover in our house.
"There better not be any boys at this so-called 'Sleep Over'," he told me in a suspicious tone.
"No Dad, just four of my all-female friends," I told him. "Well, I just called to inform you. Now we have Soy Crunchies to eat, and a movie to watch." As I hung up, I could hear him saying, strangely enough, "Bleagh, eeww, yuck, I'll take the Crab Juice!" on the other end.
"Took you long enough," said Anna upon my return. "We were just about to have a four-person orgy to pass the time."
"You know," I said with a raised eyebrow, "if you all would rather get physical than watch the movie, we have a lovely hammock out back, and I think it'll seat four."
Needa said, "Nah, I think we'd rather have the Crunchies."
I started the movie, and watched the previews as the four ravenous teenage-girl hyenas tore into the bag of Crunchies (Anna was growling at the other three, as she bared her teeth and stole the bag.) But we all told each other to shut up, because it would ruin the mood of the movie.
An hour later, you could not have found a more terrified group of girls. We were all huddled together, biting our nails in terror. Even for me and Needa, who had seen the movie before, it was scary as hell.
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"That's it," said the Dolly, "Pick up the phone and call the gardener. Tell him that he has an appointment with the Dolly."
"But, Dolly," the girl said fearfully, "the gardener has done nothing to you! Why do you seek vengeance?"
"CALL HIM!" roared the psychotic dolly. "And tell him that he can not escape the power of the Dolly! I will find him and I will EAT his SOUL!"
The scared girl reached out a trembling hand to pick up the phone…
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…And the phone next to the couch rang.
If you have never been in a room with 5 hysterical girls screaming their heads off, then I would recommend against it, as it was very detrimental to my hearing. As it was, I was buried at the bottom of a quivering mass of girls, screaming as loud as any of them.
It was only when we looked at each other sheepishly that we disentangled ourselves, and I proceeded to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" I asked tentatively. I knew I was being silly, but if a high-pitched voice answered at the other end, I was prepared to jump out the window and never return.
The voice, however, was not a high-pitched girl voice, but a deep guy's voice. "Hey, my beloved Spike, it is your Tommy!"
"Holy shit, Tommy, you scared the crap out of us!" I explained about the movie, and the sleepover, and he was roaring with laughter at the thought of us cowering in fear.
I said to my friends, who had paused the video, "You all go on, I think I'm going to be on the phone for a while with Tommy." Of course, Amaryllis giggled, but they continued The Re-Deadening while I went out back to the aforementioned hammock.
"So Tommy, how long do we have before you need to get back?" I asked.
"That's the beauty, Lis, I'm not going back!"
"…What?" Had I heard right?
"Yeah. I woke up this morning, and decided, 'Enough is enough.' I was sick of the way everyone in that stupid community was trying to control me, and boss me around, so I just packed up some things and left."
"… Where are you staying?" This news rather concerned me, as rebellious as I like to think I am. His action seemed a little drastic.
"I don't know yet. There's a sweet little park nearby, and I think I'm going to stay there tonight. It has a really nice pavilion."
"Tommy. What were you THINKING? You're a 15-year-old boy who has no money, and no job, and no transportation! How are you going to get an apartment, or food, or—"
"Holy Buddha, you're such a wet blanket! Since when did you go all mother hen on me? I thought you would be happy that I managed to escape, and that I'm doing something for myself for a change instead of depending on other people!" The disappointment was apparent in his tone.
"I wholeheartedly congratulate you for defying the establishment, Tommy, but I'm worried about you, you big dope! I'm worried that you're going to end up selling crack on a street corner!" It felt good to be frank with my emotions again; I had been keeping them quite hidden, seeing as how I had no one to express them to.
"I promise you, milady, that if it gets that bad I'll go to a church or something where they'll take pity on me and ship me back to Springfield. But I cannot return to that fanatic of a father of mine."
"Well, Tommy, you know that my house is always open to you, if you can find a way back."
"Well, it sounds that some interesting stuff is happening at your place tonight. So tell me about this Girl-on-Girl party you're having?"
I rolled my eyes, and we talked for a while longer. Finally, we hung up, and I returned to the living room to find the movie in its final suspenseful minutes.
The opportunity was too good to pass up. "BOO!" I shouted, making them all jump about a foot in the air, and then I was hit with a myriad of pillows and Soy Crunchies.
It was 2:30 in the morning, and our fun was finally winding down. In fact, after squabbling for prime positions in my bedroom, we were settling into our sleeping bags, ready to hit the sack.
The lights were off, but none of us were yet asleep. So of course, the normal nighttime conversations broke out, about who was sleeping with whom, and who had gotten to what base, and so on.
Well, they were talking about those smutty topics, but I was silent, deep in thought. Presumably, Tommy was out there somewhere, trying to sleep in a public pavilion in some park somewhere. What if he got attacked by some wild animal? Or maybe by some bloodthirsty gang, who would mug him and leave him, bruised and bloodied, in a dumpster, and the police would find him the next morning…
I suppose my silence was quite conspicuous, because Needa asked me, "Hey, Lisa, are you asleep? Because if you are, then we've found our target for practical jokes…"
"You 'shaving-cream' me and you'll regret it," I said threateningly, making everyone laugh. "But really, I'm thinking of that movie…" I didn't want to talk about the conversation I had, and mentioning the movie was sure to generate a new thread of discussion.
"Oh GOD, that joke of yours was not funny!" said Amaryllis. "And at the most scary part too… when the Dolly was crawling out of the television set, ready to kill that old man…"
"Oh god… and the way he opened his eyes, and saw the Dolly staring right at him," added Akila. "That was waaaay too startling for me!"
We went silent, and I'm sure that everyone else was thinking exactly what I was thinking. I was observing how the tree was starting to lose its leaves, and become bare-branched, and how those bare branches were scraping on the window like brittle, sharp fingers. And I was noticing how the moonlight cast eerie shadows around my room… and how several of those shadows were vaguely doll-shaped…
There was a loud intake of breath as we heard a distinct scratching sound against the front door downstairs. Yes, it was loud enough for all of us to hear. And the noise didn't end there… we could hear bumps and thumps, and even the sound of faint creepy music. And I knew that I wasn't imagining it, because I could tell from all the cowering that everyone else could hear it too.
When I heard the ominous chuckling coming from outside, I decided then and there that I would not live to see tomorrow. And I told everyone else as much, to many muttered agreements.
"Oh, c-come on, you g-guys," stuttered Anna. "L-l-look at us, shaking like babies. I d-don't know about you all, but I'm g-going down to s-see what is making that noise!" She got up rather shakily, and then asked sheepishly, "Does anyone wanna come with me?"
"Oh, I'll go with you," said Akila boldly. "I'm not…too… afraid of any stupid rag dolls!"
"Gah," I grumbled, "I suppose that, seeing as how I'm the hostess, I have to go to prevent you all from being horribly axe-murdered."
"Good," said Amaryllis. "Me 'n' Needa will stay at the top of the stairs, and watch from a safe distance while you all are slaughtered."
We all tiptoed out of the room, and on the way, I stopped in Bart's dusty room and grabbed a conveniently placed baseball bat. Then we slowly and tentatively headed towards the front door, listening to the loud sounds coming from outside.
Well, as was expected, Anna chickened out and decided to stay at the top of the stairs with the sophomores. Akila and I descended the stairs, and I signaled to her to open the door, while I positioned myself, the bat over my shoulder in a slugging position.
Without warning she yanked open the door, and I saw the dark shapes standing on the stair. So reflexively, I swung at the closest one.
It's probably a good thing I'm so bad at sports, or I would have brained James Eoh. As it was, as the bat swished right in front of him, he said, "HOLY SHIT!" and stumbled backwards, knocking all the other guys down with him.
I turned the porch light on, and saw a heap of guys that consisted of Martin, Ralph, Lee Thatcher, and James, as well as Chester Shim and Ox, sophomores, and to my utter mortification, Theo.
I offered a hand to James, who was at the top of the heap, and once he was up, I said, "What the HELL is the big idea? And why the HELL are you all at my house at 2:30 in the morning!"
James smiled a very owlish smile [Does that even make sense?!], and said, "You all were so loud and exuberant today, we felt quite left out of your plans. So we decided to crash the party!"
"And when we heard that you were watching The Re-Deadening, we couldn't help but try to scare you out of your wits!" added the ever-smiling Lee.
"Lee Thatcher!" screeched Anna from the top of the stairs. She ran down so she could berate him face to face. "How dare you be so cruel and malicious! You almost scared the shit out of all of us!"
"And yet I know you love me."
"God, I hate it when you're right."
Of course, we all made the appropriate "AWWWWW!" noises, and then, seeing as how it was approximately 20 degrees outside, I invited the guys in.
Let me tell you, when a large group of hyperactive teenagers is having an unsupervised part at 2:30 in the morning, you can hardly expect the best. So don't ask me how it happened, but within five minutes of them coming in, the lights were all on, music was blaring from the system in the corner, and someone had produced all the snack foods I had put away earlier.
I winced as I felt the Crunchies crumbs crunch under my feet and grind into the rug as I proceeded to turn the speakers down to an audible level. "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH," I yelled over the noise. They very courteously quieted down for me, and I said, "The walls of this cheap house are paper thin, and the neighbors can hear everything. Please, I don't want the cops called out, can we just keep it down?"
They acquiesced, and within minutes, had a game of "Strip-or-Sip Spin the Bottle" going.
Lee went first, and spun the bottle. It ended up pointing at Akila, who nudged it with her foot until it pointed at Anna. Both Anna and Lee smiled, and they went off somewhere private to what I assumed would be a good make-out session.
Akila went next, and her spin landed on Chester Shim. "OK, Akila, darling," he said, "Would you like to snog? Or will you be taking something off?"
"Ha ha," she responded. "Just pass me that liquor," she said, pointing to the mysterious bottle of brown liquid that she took an obligatory swig of.
James went next, and, rather than make out with me, he elected to remove his shoes. I must say, my feeling were not hurt by this action; rather, I was relieved that I wouldn't have to do anything with him. I hadn't kissed before, and I didn't want my first kiss, a very special event, to be the result of a drinking game.
Several more spins (and more sips from the liquor), and finally it was my turn. I figured, Why not?, and spun the bottle.
Well, loyal reader, you can probably figure out whom it ended up pointing towards. All I'll say is that Buddha was being a very cruel Buddha that night, giving me a chance that I knew I could not take with the guy I liked most.
He looked at me with those kind blue eyes that had not long ago reflected the fire, and he asked me, smiling, "So? You wanna?"
I think I hesitated a bit too long, because everyone stared at me as I blushed. To break the silence, I quickly said, "Pass that liquor," and took a big gulp. It burned going down, and brought tears to my eyes, but made me feel slightly less embarrassed.
Theo continued with the bottle, but I stopped paying attention, because I was too busy thinking about what had just happened. The scary thing is, I was close to saying "Yes" to Theo's question, but then my common sense had kicked in. You haven't been getting along so well with him lately. Besides school duties, you haven't talked to him, and you don't even see him outside of school. It would be one thing if you were like Lee and Anna, but you hardly know Theo. I understood the valid points my brain made, and agreed with it 100%.
Still, I thought as the game progressed, it would have been one hell of a first kiss.
I woke up with a splitting headache and an aversion to the too-bright sunlight streaming through the windows. Around me, everyone else was still asleep or passed out, and the whole room was a total mess. And we're supposed to be the best of the best, with the most intelligence around. HAH.
Those guys are gonna be in sooo much trouble with their parents for not going home last night, I thought with some satisfaction, because they had been the cause of this headache and I was eager to blame someone other than myself for getting a hangover. All their fault.
I went to the bathroom to get the aspirin (for me and for everyone else, when they woke), and when I passed the dining room, I saw Lee and Anna curled up very cutely (and fully clothed, to my relief) on the floor. Lucky duckies, I thought incoherently. They won't have hangovers…
When I got back to the family room, I could hear groans from the others sprawled everywhere, in various states of undress (but nothing TOO bad). I looked around until I spotted Theo. He looked so comfortable, curled up on the couch the way Santa's Little Helper used to. I had a strong inclination to go join him in a peaceful repose of my own.
However, noise from the corner of the room made me cease my daydreaming. Martin was stirring, and then he opened his bloodshot eyes, and immediately cursed the 'glaring light'.
"Here, you'll need this," I said, handing him the aspirin. "And I think the others will, too, when they wake from their drunken stupors."
I surveyed the damage caused by our party, and thought wistfully, Tommy would have loved this.
I've been reading Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic all morning, and now my brain feels like mush. I hope this chapter was coherent enough to understand. Damn addictive fanfics… Though I couldn't live without them…
Yay, I invented a new variation of "Spin the Bottle". I'm so accomplished…
That chapter wasn't too over the top, was it? Thought I'm not sure what I would consider "over the top"… I need to get back into the swing of this story…
I actually started writing this chapter a loooong time ago, right after the "Re-Deadening" episode first aired, but never finished it until I got motivated today.
EEEKKK! Exams! See, I'll do anything, including update fanfic (jkjk) to avoid studying. WAAAAAHHHH!
STUPID NEW SYSTEM! ff.net won't let me use the carrot thingies anymore! I can't make my happy faces anymore! HOW am I supposed to convey that I'm HAPPY?!
This chapter's only 3,400 words long! ::frustrated grunt:: WHY can I never write a 4,000-word chapter??
Chapter 7 was only four words short of 4,000! D'oh!
Shutting up now…
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Seaoknarnar is watching you review…
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