::static::

::click::

"Hello and welcome to the 24-hour rock network!"

::flashing yellow background with the words 'Rock Network!'::

"All rocks, all the time!! Today our special guest star is..."

::A medium sized rock appears on screen sitting on a red cloth::

"...Rocky McRockster! Let's zoom in on Rocky...notice the round shape and smooth surface...let's change the angle...Watch as someone pokes the rock...and the rock does nothing...Let's take a moment to observe this fine specimen...The rock is doing absolutely nothing...and he's still doing nothing...Wow! Did you see that?! He did nothing!!"

::click::

"YOU NEVER LET ME DO WHAT I WANT TO DO! It's always: 'Feed me' 'Play with me' 'I'm thirsty' 'I'm tired' 'I want to eat the mailman' 'Let me in!' 'Let me out!' 'Me, me, me'! Well what about me huh?! I have feelings too!"

::A woman with a microphone puts her hand on the shoulder of the standing and yelling man as the audience begins to chant 'Shirley!'::

"Now, sir, it's good that you're getting your emotions out, but you should try to calm down. Now, miss, do you have anything to say in response to this man?"

::The woman holds the microphone down to the mouth of a dog. The dog whines and starts to eat the microphone::

::click::

"And today's temperature in Antarctica is going to reach a whopping -23˚F!!! Those penguins are going to need to put away their winter suits today! And, in more local areas, it's going to be unusually cold with a very good chance of pie. Temperatures will reach a high of Cheese, with the average temperature being around Moose. It's a good day to break out those float-y toys and go take a dip in your local aquarium!"

::click::

"Radioactive toothbrush brought to you by the 'we really, really hate you!' company!"

::click::

"Yu Yu Hakusho and all its characters are property of Yoshihiro Togashi. Flash and Lioness belong to Winter –iel –o burzum. Hinote and Vladimir belong to EternalBlackNight. The story, and all other characters, belongs to Dreamchasereternity unless otherwise noted."

::click::

"WHEN GOOD DOG SHOWS GO FOX! Starring: The Yu Yu Hakusho Bishounen: Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke! Along with: Flash, Autumn, and Hinote! Oh, and Kuwabara, but nobody cares about him. Warning: Contents may not be suitable for anyone lacking in insanity or anyone that does not like excessive amounts of humor."

Last time

Flash and Hiei, being smart, decided to stay still until the lights turned on. Random Neighbor Man hadn't moved out of his seat. Pip was still trying to turn the lights on. She suddenly succeeded, temporarily blinding everyone. When they adjusted, they saw Yusuke rolling on the floor screaming in pain because of the coffee. They then noticed Kurama being helped to his feet by Vlad. Last, but certainly most important, they noticed Loki unconscious on the floor.

"Where's Autumn?!" Kurama asked, looking around frantically.

Now

Café Murder Mystery, part 2:

"She was with Loki before the lights went out." Flash pointed at the unconscious magician.

Kurama walked over and started shaking Loki, "WAKE UP!"

"Allow me!" Flash grinned evilly and hit Loki on the head a few times with the Book of Autumn. When she was done he had a bunch of bumps on his head.

"That's going to knock him further into unconsciousness." Random Neighbor Man pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's fun." Flash responded.

Kurama groaned. Pip walked over with a pitcher of ice cold water and dumped it over Loki. Loki sat up immediately, "WE'VE HIT AN ICEBERG, CAPTAIN!! Huh...? Where're the passengers? The ballrooms? The beautiful women?"

"What do you mean by that?" Flash asked as she glared at Loki.

"You know, the pretty girls. Not you two. You two don't fall under that category." Loki waved his hand at Pip and Flash dismissively.

Hiei growled and reached for his katana. Flash stopped him, "No. This jerk's ours."

Pip nodded as she and Flash approached Loki with evil looks on their faces. Pip was holding the pitcher as a weapon and Flash was holding her trademark metal pipe. Loki laughed nervously as he backed away. He then started running, "ABANDON SHIP!!!"

The girls were close behind him. They chased him into a corner and proceeded to close in on him, laughing evilly.

Due to the violent nature of this scene, the visuals have been replaced with...a dancing hamster! You may occasionally hear screaming in the background. Do not be alarmed, nothing bad is happening.

A light beige hamster wearing a hat with spinning blades (like a fan) that was yellow, red, and orange and a blue shirt that said 'Hokey Pokey' walks out. He starts shaking his hips.

"Let's do the Hokey Pokey!"

Music starts playing in the background as he continues to shake his hips. Faintly, screaming is heard, "Oh gods! The PAIN! The PAIN!!! WHY?!"

"You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about."

"MY ORGANS!!! MY ORGANS! OH GODS, MY ORGANS!!!"

"You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!"

"This is what it must feel like to be one of those inflatable punch toys that come back up when you hit them! Why can't you let me stay down?! THE PAIN!!! MY NOOOOSE!!! ARRRRRGH!!!"

"You do the Hoooooookey Pokey! You do the Hooooookey Pokey! You do the Hoooookey Pokey!"

"My life is flashing before my eyes! So many things left undone...The pain! THE PAIN!!!!"

"That's what it's all about!"

The music stops and the hamster takes a bow. He then leaves.

Thank you for your time, we will now reactivate the story's visuals.

Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, and Vlad were standing there with similar expressions. Their expressions conveyed horror, surprise, and relief that they were not Loki. Flash and Pip dusted off their hands as they turned away from the badly beaten and bruised Loki. The boys all took a step back at once. Yusuke, Kurama, and Vlad cowered behind Hiei. Hiei looked at Flash with wide eyes.

"What?" Flash asked, looking at the cowering boys.

Pip put a hand to her mouth, "Oh dear, I do believe we scared them."

"Oh, is that all? I thought it was something serious, like Loki still had unbroken bones in his body or something..." Flash smirked suddenly as her 'Con the bakas out of house and home' sense detected a perfect money making opportunity.

"Flash is smirking." Yusuke pointed out.

"Let's run for the door." Vlad said.

"But the storm!" Kurama protested.

"Storm or Flash, which would you rather face?" Yusuke asked the others.

The four boys didn't have to think long about their choices. The four of them bolted toward the door at the same time. They stopped abruptly when they realized Flash was standing in front of the door with her arms crossed, grinning evilly. Yusuke and Vlad clung to each other and whimpered as Kurama and Hiei moved away nervously.

"You know guys that show you just watched isn't free..." Flash smirked.

"But Flash...you already have all the money we had...We gave it to you for your hamster." Kurama protested nervously.

Flash frowned, "Aw, crap, you're right...Well, once you guys get money again, remind me to threaten you into giving it to me."

The four boys sighed in relief. Flash looked around, "Holy hell! Autumn's gone!"

"She's been gone since the lights turned back on." Hiei pointed out.

Kurama started panicking, "We've wasted so much time! Who knows what might've happened to her by now! This is horrible! I may never see her again..."

Pip suddenly screamed and pointed behind everyone to the table where Random Neighbor Man was. Everyone looked and gasped when they saw that Random Neighbor Man had a knife in his chest and was seemingly dead. Kurama went over and felt for a pulse.

"Thankfully the knife appears not to have hit any vital organs and he's not bleeding too much. I think he'll live!" Kurama smiled.

"Damn, I knew I should've read that book on human anatomy! I keep missing the heart!" Vlad yelled angrily.

Everyone turned to stare at him. He laughed nervously as he looked at them, "I was...um...playing Operation?"

Vlad took the game out of seemingly nowhere along with the tweezers. He tried to take out the heart. The game made a buzzing sound every time he tried. He hissed and threw it on the floor, causing it to get stuck buzzing. He started stomping on it, "DAMN NINGEN TORTURE DEVICE!!!" (Don't own Operation)

Pip looked at the others, "Who could've done this?"

"Well, it's like Autumn was saying before she mysteriously got knocked unconscious, it has to be someone in this room. With Autumn, Kuwabara, and that Random Neighbor Man gone and Loki being preoccupied, it had to have been either Kurama, Hiei, Hinote, Me, Flash, or Pip. Flash and Pip were busy hurting Loki so it has to be one of us four!" Yusuke announced as he pointed at himself, Kurama, Hiei, and Vlad.

"What?!" Kurama seemed shocked to be accused.

"Wait, Kurama would never hurt Autumn and it certainly wasn't me, so it must've been either Hinote or Hiei!" Yusuke nodded.

"How do we know it wasn't you?" Vlad asked in an attempt to save his skin.

"You're right!" Yusuke gasped and pointed at himself, "Alright, where was I on the night of November 22nd, 1874?!"

"Um...not even born?" Flash suggested.

"A likely excuse!" Yusuke announced as he glared at his reflection in a mirror.

Kurama looked around, "Maybe there's a backroom or something where we might find a clue?"

"Good idea! Let's split up gang!" Yusuke announced.

Flash groaned, "No Scooby Doo parodies, ok?" (Don't own Scooby Doo)

"Oh, fine...We'll save that for the bloopers..." Yusuke stated.

"Bloopers?" Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"I mean...what bloopers?" Yusuke looked around with shifty eyes.

Vlad took the opportunity to cut a conveniently placed rope which caused a conveniently placed chandelier to fall on top of Yusuke. Kurama, Pip, Flash, and Hiei sweat dropped as they stared at Yusuke's now crushed form. Vlad pretended to be oblivious.

"Wow, I guess he wasn't the killer after all." Vlad said.

Hiei gave Vlad an 'I know what you did two paragraphs ago' look, "Brilliant deduction."

"So that narrows our suspects down to the three boys there." Pip pointed at Vlad, Hiei, and Kurama.

"Naw, it's like Yusuke said, the pansy would never hurt Autumn." Flash nodded.

Kurama growled, "I am not a pansy."

"It's odd, though. I don't remember there being a chandelier..." Pip blinked, "Someone must have put it there...but who would do such a dreadful thing...?"

"Not Hiei, he's too short. He wouldn't be able to put that up there, even with a ladder." Flash nodded.

"We're the same height!!!" Hiei yelled at Flash.

Flash blinked and stood on a chair, "Now we're not."

Hiei growled and rolled his eyes. Kurama snapped his fingers, "I've got it!"

Everyone turned to look at him. Kurama nodded, "Loki must have done it! That beaten up thing in the corner isn't really Loki! It's an illusion!"

Hiei fell over anime style, "Baka kitsune!"

"No...If it was an illusion I'd know. It felt very real, and there's no mistaking it, I definitely heard breaking bones." Flash nodded.

Pip glanced at Vlad, "Then that must mean..."

Vlad suddenly found that he had access to a light switch once again. He turned the lights off, hit Pip over the head with a turtle he found walking around, and then turned the lights back on. Flash gasped.

"Pip's been killed!" she stated as she pointed.

"Let's look around for clues!" Vlad announced as he took out a magnifying glass and started looking around.

Kurama sighed in relief, "She isn't dead, either."

"That must mean that this 'killer' is a complete and total idiot." Flash stated.

The lights went off again. When Hiei turned them back on, Vlad and Flash were gone. He looked around and growled. Kurama gasped.

"Does this mean the killer got both Hinote and Flash?" Kurama asked.

Hiei glared at him, "Hinote is the killer, idiot."

"Eh? Oh...I knew that!" Kurama laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

Hiei sweat dropped. Kurama's smile faded, "Wait...that means...HINOTE!!!!!!"

Hinote walked into the room dusting his hands off, "What?"

"You're the killer!" Kurama pointed at him accusingly.

"No, I'm not...I just...went to the bathroom!" Hinote defended.

"What did you do with Flash?" Hiei growled.

Hinote laughed, "Oh, don't worry, she's ok."

Outside, the storm had stopped and it was starting to get light out. Kurama and Hiei had survived the night in the café of doom. On the floor, Kuwabara's body lay, with a knife, cactus, and Spork in his back. Not too far away was the table where Random Neighbor Man's body was slumped in its chair. In the corner, Loki's bruised and beaten body was lying in a crumpled mass. Pip was lying on the floor unconscious with a turtle resting on its shell nearby, struggling to right itself. Near them was a chandelier that was crushing Yusuke's body. The three remaining boys sat silently for a moment.

"So, you wanna leave before the police come?" Hinote asked.

"Yes, that would be wise." Kurama nodded.

The three of them left. Some time later, a happy child skipped into the café and was scarred for life by seeing all the bodies. The police were quickly notified and everyone was brought to the hospital where they were treated and fixed up as best as possible, though all the doctors agreed that it was a shame that the boy in blue with orange hair's face had been so badly damaged that it was beyond repair. Little did they know that that was the way he had always looked. Outside the café, a cat was scavenging around the dumpster when all of a sudden the lid lifted and two angry golden eyes glowed from the darkness.

But what of Autumn, you ask? Well, to find out her fate we must travel west across an ocean... (The Atlantic Ocean, Ari)

Somewhere in Iceland

Two Puffins were conversing about fish and techniques to catch fish. Suddenly a box fell from the sky and landed near them. They stared at the box. It had a label that sand 'Handle with caution, live and dangerous animal inside'. It also had many stamps on it. As the puffins watched, the box started to move. It then opened and Autumn sat up. She looked around.

"Where am I...?"

Dream: So there's chapter 3! Sorry it's so short since I made you wait long, but I wanted to get it done before my mom dragged me off to spend the night at her boyfriend's house. I found it quite amusing, and I'm hoping you did too. Anyway, please review!