Dream: AGH! I'm so sorry everyone! I completely lost interest in fanfics for about two months. I mean, originally I blamed it on the mini emotional breakdown I was having, then I was very busy, but recently I've had no excuse and I apologize greatly. ::grovels on the floor:: FORGIVE ME!
Zero: ::sweat drop:: Stop that. I'm embarrassed for you.
Dream: But I feel really bad that I haven't updated in so long!
Zero: So just update more often.
Dream: ::gasps and stands up with fists clenched:: You're right! I have time now and I should dedicate that time to doing something worthwhile! ::holds fist in the air:: I will fulfill my duty as a writer and update my fanfics more often!
::rain pours from the sky and Dream's in a raincoat with a rain hat and umbrella:: Neither rain nor snow ::it starts snowing and Dream's bundled up in bulky coats with mittens and a scarf:: will keep me from giving the public what they want!!!
Zero: ::stares:: How the hell are you doing that?
Dream: ::posing on a mountain peak in a mountain goat costume while pointing to the distance:: I will climb the tallest mountains! ::in a fish costume at the bottom of the ocean with fish and things swimming by:: And swim the deepest seas! Just to bring the best fanfics to my readers!
Zero: ::blinking rapidly and looking around at all the fish:: What the...? ::crab clamps its claw on his tail:: YEOW!!!!! ::jumps::
Dream: ::in a lemur costume with jungle scenery around:: ::ranting on and on::
Zero: ::throws crab off tail:: Can you please just start the damn chapter?!
Dream: ::everything goes back to normal:: RIGHT! ::goes to push big red button::
Crab: ::pushes button::
Dream: ::horror stricken:: ::growls:: That's my job! ::attacks crab::
Last time:
Just then the door slammed open, smashing Flash against the wall and trapping her there. Autumn - dressed in a colorful Hawaiian shirt with Khaki shorts, colorful lei, plain brown sandals, and a straw hat – was there at the door. At her side was a black bag. She was grinning madly.
"Hello friends! Autumn hath return-ed from her quest of epic proportions!" Autumn announced cheerily with her arms above her head.
Vlad picked up the tray that his food had been delivered on. It was awkward and difficult, but he managed to knock himself unconscious with it. Kuwabara had long since fallen asleep. Yusuke had been knocked unconscious by a vase that had fallen on his head after Autumn slammed the door open. The door swung back closed and Flash's unconscious body fell to the floor with a thud.
Autumn looked around at all the injured and unconscious people. She pouted, "Aw, did you guys have a party while I was gone?"
Now:
Magical Plot Advancing Shtuff:
It was about two days later and everyone had miraculously healed from their injuries. Random Neighbor Man had gone back to his home with plans to move farther away. Pip went back to her grandmother's café because she was needed to oversee the repairs and things. Loki had a big show to do at a fancy restaurant that night and he'd invited Autumn. Autumn had then invited Kurama, Hiei, Flash, Hinote, Yusuke, and Kuwabara to the show. At the moment they were hanging around the park with the lake in the middle.
Yusuke was wearing jeans and a white tee. Kuwabara was wearing his usual blue school uniform. Kurama was wearing black pants with a light green button up shirt that was hanging over his pants. Hiei was wearing his usual black pants with four white belts and a black tank top. Flash was wearing black pants with a black tank top, her black trench coat, and black boots. Hinote wore a black tee with khaki pants and his steel toed boots. Autumn was wearing a black short sleeved shirt with a short jacket over it that tied in front and didn't pass her chest which had large sleeves that hung down at the wrists. She was also wearing a black skirt that went to her knees and black boots. She also had Harmony's fox ears and tail showing. She still had the straw hat on her head.
Yusuke pointed at Autumn, "What's with the outfit? I thought you hated skirts."
"The grumpy fox wanted me to wear it." Autumn responded before holding her head in pain, "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"
Kurama poked the straw hat, "I've been meaning to ask why you've been wearing this."
"Oh, no reason!" Autumn laughed nervously. Her hat started to move on her head.
Yusuke arched an eyebrow, "Why's your hat moving?"
"It's not moving!" Autumn answered quickly, putting her hands on the hat to hold it down. The hat squeaked in displeasure.
Hiei rolled his eyes, "Riiight, and next I suppose you'll tell us that the hat didn't just squeak?"
"Silly Hiei, hats can't squeak! They lack spleens!" Autumn laughed.
Hinote pointed, "And I suppose next you'll tell us that those ears are real?"
"They are real!" Autumn, now being controlled by her demon half, hissed.
"Suure they are." Hinote nodded.
Harmony growled and pulled aside her hair to reveal that the fox ears had taken the place of her human ears, "Look, no human ears. Ha! I win, you lose, go drown yourself in the lake! You will never beat me for I am the fox! I know Flamingo-fu!"
Harmony balanced on one leg with her hands in karate chop positions in front of her face. She started hopping around on the one leg, "Huwaaaah!"
"Shit, Harmony's suffering from caramel withdrawal." Flash hissed before hiding behind a tree.
"CARAMEL?!" Harmony froze in mid Flamingo hop to look around frantically for caramel. She spotted some random man with a cell phone that was a light golden brownish color.
Harm's equation: Light golden brown rectangular shape CARAMEL!
There was a gust of wind and a puff of Harmony shaped smoke remained where the fox had once been. The group turned their attention towards the man after he screamed in pain. They rushed over to see the man holding his bleeding arm and on the floor squirming in discomfort.
"Oh god, it bit me! It bit me!!!!" The man was screaming.
Nearby Harmony was sitting Indian style, chewing on the cell phone determinedly. Kurama put a hand out to stop her, "Harmony, that's not caramel...It's a cell phone...Don't eat it, you'll get..." Kurama sweat dropped as Harmony got electrocuted by the phone and fell over on the ground with swirly eyes, "...electrocuted..."
"Stupid fox." Vlad commented.
"Vlad, look, somebody's bleeding!" Flash announced.
Vlad looked around, "Where?!"
Flash bashed him in the face with her metal pipe and watched him fall to the floor holding his bleeding nose, "There."
Hiei resisted the urge to point and laugh at Vlad. He settled for smirking, "That's my girl."
"Ahem." coughed Flash from behind Hiei.
"I mean...That's my lord and master." Hiei corrected.
"Very good." Flash nodded.
Vlad ran off to the first aid station near the park office holding his nose. A little while later Hinote came back with a big bandage over his nose. Autumn had woken up and was rubbing her head. She looked up at Hinote, "What happened to you?"
Hinote got all teary eyed, "Flash crushed my nose with her metal pipe."
"Oh get over it. It's not like it's the first time I've done it." Flash rolled her eyes.
Hinote shrugged, "Yeah I guess you're right. So what's under the hat, Autumn?"
"It's just an ordinary hat!" Autumn yelled at him.
Yusuke grabbed the hat and took it off her head. Autumn gasped. Everyone nearby stared at her funny. Kurama frowned, "Autumn, have you been stealing puffins from the zoo again?"
Autumn took the three small puffins off of her head and hugged them, "Nuh-uh! Pappy's my advisor, Pippy's my bodyguard and Panyo's the little orphan I'm taking care of!"
"They have names?" Yusuke asked.
"Obviously, idiot." Hiei responded coldly.
Flash poked one of the puffins, "Where'd you get them?"
"Well, I was at the café with you guys and the next thing I knew it was dark and something hit me in the head. Then I woke up in a cramped space that was falling. After crash-landing in a pile of snow, I discovered that I had been in a box. I was then found by puffins and brought to their kingdom of Puffonia where they crowned me their queen. That's why I've got Pappy and Pippy with me." Autumn finished her story with a nod.
"So you're now the queen of the puffins?" Kuwabara asked.
"Yup!" Autumn beamed.
Yusuke and Kuwabara burst out laughing hysterically. Pippy let out a squawk of displeasure before attacking both of the baka. Yusuke and Kuwabara started screaming and running from the angered puffin. Kurama sweat dropped, "Autumn, make your puffins go back home. They'll cause trouble if we bring them tonight."
"Oh fine. Pappy, Pippy, go back home. Panyo, you're staying with me." Autumn commanded. Pappy and Pippy saluted before flying away. Panyo gave a happy chirp.
Hinote scratched his head, "Well it's getting sort of late, maybe we should head over to the restaurant now."
"Yeah, that'd be a good idea." Flash agreed.
Autumn jumped to her feet with Panyo on her head. Both she and Panyo pointed off into the distance, "Yes! Let's go where no fox girl or puffin has gone before! We will enter the fancy pants-y restaurant of fancy pants-y DOOM-ness! We will go in as mere commoners and crush their security like small crushable things so that we, not they, will be in control of the restaurant! Muahahaha!"
Autumn and Panyo were both laughing insanely. Flash shook her head as she walked past the two, "Sometimes I worry about you, Autumn. Then I remember that if you get chased by the police it'll buy me time to rob some banks and thus I thank the powers that be for blessing me with such an idiotic crazy friend."
Later, at the restaurant:
"I'm so glad you came!" Loki announced as he hugged Autumn tightly.
Autumn was struggling to get away, "Can't breathe..."
Kurama was glaring daggers at Loki. He started growling. Flash tapped Loki on the shoulder, "Uh Loki, it would be in your best interest to put Autumn down now."
Loki put Autumn down and put his hands on her shoulders, "You are going to help me pull this magic show off."
"I am?" Autumn blinked.
"Yes. You see, my usual assistant is suffering from digestion right now..."
"Don't you mean indigestion?" Kurama asked.
Loki shook his head, "No, I mean she's being digested in the belly of a large bear demon right now."
"You know about demons?" asked Yusuke.
"Feh, of course I know about demons! I am one!" Loki waved his hand dismissively.
Kurama nodded, "That would explain the demonic aura I sensed from you."
"You sure that wasn't just the jealousy messing with your senses?" Flash smirked.
Kurama glared at her, "I am not, and never have been, jealous of that stupid trickster."
"He's hugging Autumn." Flash stated unenthusiastically.
Fire formed around Kurama, "That bastard! I'll kill him!!!!"
"I rest my case." Flash rolled her eyes before walking away.
Loki was now holding Autumn's hands, "I desperately need you to fill in for my usual assistant. I'll reward you richly."
Flash froze in mid-step, "Reward? Rich? Autumn!"
Autumn stared as Flash ran over and grabbed her hands from Loki, "Eh? Flash, what're you...?"
"How can you simply stand there when this poor down on his luck magician is begging you for help? You have to do this, Autumn! Think of all those children that will be disappointed if they don't see their magic show! Think of all those poor parents that will have to hear the crying! Think of my empty wallet!" Flash gave Autumn a pleading look.
Autumn rolled her eyes, "Alright, I'll do it."
"YIPPEE!" Flash and Loki jumped in the air and gave each other a high-five.
Autumn shook her head and mumbled to herself, "I seriously hope that I'm not going to regret this..."
A few minutes or so later:
Everyone was in a rather large ballroom-like room. Across from the entrance doors was a rather large stage. The backstage was shielded from view by a red velvet curtain. On either side of the stage were doors. One led backstage and the other to the kitchens. Between the entrance doors and the stage were lots of round tables with fancily dressed people sitting at them. Along the walls were booth tables that had plants dividing each booth from the next. There were plant decorations all over the room. Hanging above the tables was a pretty chandelier.
Yusuke, Hiei, Flash, Hinote, Kuwabara, and Kurama had taken seats at a booth in the corner with a good view of the stage. It had a cushioned bench seat that curved around the table. Yusuke was sitting between Kuwabara and Hiei. Flash was sitting on Hiei's other side and Kurama was next to Flash. Panyo was sitting on Kurama's lap. It had taken some time but they had convinced the waiters that Panyo was just a very life-like doll.
The lights went out and all attention turned to the stage. The curtains drew back just enough for one person to fit through. The person stepped into the spotlight, revealing itself to be Autumn. She was wearing a dark blue sparkly sleeveless dress with matching shoes. She still had Harmony's ears and tail. She cleared her throat before starting to talk.
"Um...Hi?" She rubbed the back of her head nervously and laughed, "I'm sorry, I'm new at this so I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Um, I suppose I'm supposed to be announcing why you're here and stuff, but that doesn't really make very much sense since all of you know why you're here and all that..."
"Gee, Autumn really has no idea what she's doing, does she?" Hinote commented.
Kurama shrugged, "Maybe not, but she looks so cute when she's confused that she'll find a way to pull this off without anyone getting upset."
"...So yeah, you all know that you're here to watch the magic show that my friend Loki's going to put on. I bet you're all anxious to see if he pulls a bunny out of a hat or makes doves out of flowers, I know I am! I just adore bunnies! And I like doves because that's what my boyfriend always calls me but you didn't really need to know that..." Autumn poked the tips of her fingers together bashfully and blushed slightly.
A chuckle rose from the people in the audience. Kurama grinned, "See? I told you my little Hato-chan (Dove-chan) could pull it off."
Yusuke rolled his eyes, "I wish she'd hurry it up, though. None of us get to eat until the show is over."
"But everyone's already eating." Hinote pointed at the other people in the restaurant.
Yusuke pointed at Kurama, "He's not gonna let any of us eat until Loki and Autumn join us."
"Oh." Hinote glared at Kurama, "You bastard."
Kurama rolled his eyes, "It would be rude not to wait for them."
"Since when are we ever not-rude?" Flash questioned.
"Since we entered the restaurant. Now shush, I want to hear Autumn speaking." Kurama turned his attention back to Autumn.
"Oh wow, it's Autumn speaking! It's not like you don't hear her speaking every single day." Flash sighed in exasperation, "Some people are just too obsessive..."
"Shh!" silenced Kurama.
Flash threw a shoe at Kurama's head. It hit its target. He rubbed his head and looked at the shoe, "Hey...this is my shoe! FLASH!!"
"SHH!" silenced some people at the nearby tables.
Hiei snickered, "Gee Kurama, I didn't know you were so disruptive."
Kurama glared at Hiei before turning back to the stage. Autumn was just finishing up a long speech that had nothing to do with anything, "...and that's how I found out that Shuichi thinks of me as a dove...Well, I guess I've spoken too much because someone back there is hissing at me to stop talking, so without further adieu...The magician, Loki!"
Autumn stepped aside as the curtains drew open completely and Loki jogged out on stage in his usual red suit outfit. He walked into the spotlight next to Autumn and took a bow. When he stood up he laughed and put his hand on Autumn's head, "Isn't she cute? It's hard to believe that this adorable young lady used to be a flea-bitten mongrel living on the streets. Yes folks, I transformed an ordinary mutt into this girl you see now. I'm that good."
Harmony had taken control again after finally waking up from her cell phone induced shock. Her ear was twitching and she was grating her teeth. Loki had just used four of the words that are forbidden from being used to describe Harmony: Adorable, flea-bitten, mongrel, and mutt. His death was assured. It was only a matter of waiting for the right moment to attack. Until that moment, the ningen would have control.
"Now then, for my first trick I'm going to need a volunteer from the audience..." Loki looked around at all the people eagerly raising their hands, "Someone that's not very important who's not going to be missed in the event that he or she gets transported to an alternate dimension never to be seen or heard from again."
Loki frowned as he saw that all hands had immediately gone down. The entire room was silent. Flash picked up her fork and used it to push over Kuwabara's ice water so that it spilled in his lap. Kuwabara let out a screech and stood up immediately. Autumn poked Loki and pointed at Kuwabara. Loki grinned.
"Excellent! The gentlemen with the rather embarrassing wet spot on the front of his pants! Will you please come up to the stage, sir?" Loki pointed at Kuwabara.
A spotlight fell on Kuwabara as he was standing there. Everyone turned to look and muffled laughter could be heard throughout the room because of the wet spot on his pants. Kuwabara glared at Flash. She smiled innocently and waved. He grumbled before walking to the stage and climbing up.
"Aw, did poor wittle Kuwabara-kun have an accident?" Autumn snickered.
Kuwabara glared at her, "Can it, mongrel."
"Oh that's it; you are so getting sawed in half." Harmony said with a growl.
Kuwabara laughed nervously. Loki pulled Kuwabara into the center of the spotlight, "Alright everyone, see this brave lad here? Well before your very eyes he will magically...disappear!"
"Woohoo! Then I can finally remove all of those pine scented tree thingies from my room!" Autumn announced happily.
"Me too! WOOHOO!" Flash yelled from the booth. She started doing a dance in her seat.
Loki sweat dropped, "Right, well anyway...What's your name sir?"
"Uh...Kuwabara..."
"Where are you from?"
"...Japan?"
"No baka, you're from Bulgaria." Autumn rolled her eyes.
"Oh...Bulgaria." Kuwabara nodded.
Yusuke threw a wax tomato at the stage, "BOO! Kuwabara, you suck!"
"Don't ruin the show you twerp!" Autumn yelled at Yusuke. Yusuke cowered in his seat as the audience sweat dropped, seeing the adorable girl become the crazy angered girl.
Loki put a handkerchief over Kuwabara's head. He then whistled to get everyone's attention, "I will start the trick now! You will hear me chanting things, these are my 'magic words' and they are of no importance to your puny human minds. This handkerchief over Kuwabara's head serves no purpose other than shielding his face from view so that you people won't have any problem looking up at the stage."
A murmur of appreciation came from the audience. Loki made a fist with his left hand except for his pointer and middle fingers. He held them up to his forehead and closed his eyes as he began to chant. A blue glow formed around Kuwabara and he began to levitate. Loki finished his chant and moved his fingers in a downward slash. Kuwabara exploded in an array of lights and candy scattered all over the room.
Yusuke and Hinote rushed to pick up the candy. Flash looked disgusted, "It's probably Kuwabara flavored."
"And how would you know what Kuwabara tastes like?" Hinote asked Flash.
Flash started bashing his head into the floor, "YOU SICK PERVERTED MONKEY!!!"
Kurama and Hiei sweat dropped as they watched. They turned their attention back to the show and started clapping along with everyone else. Rather, Kurama started clapping. Hiei clapped once before deciding that it required too much effort and crossed his arms to glare. Loki took a bow.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Loki quieted the crowd and smiled, "For my next trick, I will saw my lovely assistant in half!"
"Nuh-uh." Autumn crossed her arms.
"What do you mean 'nuh-uh'?" Loki questioned.
"I mean, I'm not doing it. There's no way in hell I'm putting my safety in your hands while you have a saw." Autumn shook her head stubbornly.
Loki rolled his eyes, "Well what do you want me to do? Get in the box and let you saw me in half?!"
Autumn smirked evilly; letting her demon half take control, "Precisely."
"Oh fine. Change of plans, folks. Instead of me sawing my assistant in half, she'll be sawing me in half." Loki told the audience.
"Woohoo!" Flash called, "I wanna see some gore!"
"Yay! Gore!" cheered Hinote and Yusuke.
Harmony wheeled out the sawing in half box and brought out a saw. Loki climbed in the box and shut the lid. The fox held up the saw and tried bending it to show everyone that it was a real saw. She had a sadistic grin on her face as she put the blade to the box and began sawing. Loki was talking the whole time.
"Now you see, I've never actually experienced this trick before. I've always wondered what it feels like to be sawed in – OW! MY SKIN! You're cutting into my flesh!!! That's not supposed to happen! Ow! Ow! Ow! STOP IT!!!! ARGH! Help me!!!!"
Harmony started laughing insanely. Kurama, despite the enjoyment he was getting, ran onstage and held Harmony back. She started struggling, "Nooo! Must saw in half! Must punish the barbarian!!"
Moments later, Kurama was just finishing bandaging Loki's wound. Harmony was standing off to the side in a straightjacket with chains on her feet to keep her from kicking and a muzzle on her mouth. Needless to say she was miserable. Loki laughed nervously.
"Well, I told you she was originally a flea-bitten mongrel...I'll just do one final trick before I end the show. In order to do this trick, I'll need this gentleman's assistance."
Kurama pointed at himself, "Me?"
"Yes you. Now, stand right in the center of the spotlight for me, please. Thank you. Now then, I'll just say a few words..." Loki began chanting and prancing around Kurama. When he finished chanting he sprinkled some glittery dust over the redhead. Everyone held their breath, anxiously anticipating what would happen next. After a couple moments of nothing happening, Loki scratched his head, "Odd, I thought for sure that would work..."
"You suck!" Yusuke yelled at Loki, "You should've made him incapable of speaking so that we wouldn't have to listen to anymore speeches! Boo! Boo!"
Loki shrugged, "Sorry everyone, I kind of wanted to give you a better show than that but I suppose I can't change the past so maybe next time. If there is a next time..."
Kurama walked over to Harmony and de-muzzled, unchained, and un-jacket-ified her. She stood there with her arms crossed, glaring at him, "You put a muzzle on me."
"You were out of control." Kurama defended.
"You put a muzzle on me!" Harmony repeated.
Kurama rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm sorry?"
"You put a muzzle on me!" Harmony growled.
Kurama took a piece of caramel out of his pocket and gave it to her. She squealed and hugged him. He smiled and led her to the table with the others. Loki soon joined them and they all ordered dinner. Everything was going smoothly. Yusuke and Kuwabara were eating spaghetti with meatballs. Hinote was eating ravioli. Flash and Autumn were eating meatless spaghetti. Loki was eating a turkey sandwich. Kurama was eating lasagna and Hiei had a soda. Panyo was eating a breadstick.
Flash sighed, "This is boring. Everyone's too good. Autumn, wear your dinner."
"Okee dokee!" Autumn saluted before picking up her bowl of spaghetti.
Kurama reached out a hand to stop her, "No, Autumn, don-!"
Autumn turned the bowl over on her head in order to wear it like a hat. All the spaghetti was hanging down from the bowl and sauce was dripping down her face. She was grinning happily. Kurama sweat dropped, "-t..."
Hinote, Yusuke, Flash, and Loki started to laugh. Hiei watched with mild amusement. Kurama was rubbing his head in frustration. Loki suddenly slammed his hand on the table, "I know why the last trick didn't work right! I didn't say 'Sminglefoof'!"
There was a puff of smoke and sitting in Kurama's place was Youko's four tailed silver fox form. The fox looked around at everyone and then down at himself before letting out a screech of horror equal in pitch to Autumn's squeal of delight.
Dream: ::chasing after the crab with a mallet:: I'll kill you!!
Zero: ::watching in amusement:: Well, since Dream is currently occupied chasing over-intelligent seashore wildlife, I suppose I'll have to wrap this up.
Dream: Stay still! I'm not going to hurt you! I'm going to crush you into tiny pieces!
Zero: Dream! Whatever happened to 'Thou shalt not hurt an animal'? ::quoting the book of Autumn::
Dream: ::freezes in mid-step:: ::falls to the floor:: Oh woe is me! What have I become?! Attacking a poor innocent little crab! Forgive me, crab! ::hugs the crab::
Crab: ::uses its claws on Dream's nose::
Dream: MY NOSE!!!! ARGH! YOU STUPID CRAB! ::chases crab again::
Zero: ::coughs:: Right, well, we hope this chapter makes up for the wait. Please review. Oh, and check out the fanfic that Dream and Winter –iel –o burzum are writing together. It's posted under the name 'Dream and Winter'.
Panyo: ::waves wing:: Pa Panyo Pa! (That's all folks!)