Dream: I realize that in the last chapter I basically promised to update more often. Knowing myself, this was a very stupid thing for me to promise. My interest in fanfics continued to be nonexistent. I will not promise anything this time. Instead, I will have Zero entertain you by dancing the hula.
Zero-standing in sand with a poorly painted beach background behind him and wearing a grass skirt, coconut bra, and a flower lei around his neck. Also wearing little flower leis on his ankles and wrists. Has hair down, making him look very much like a girl- E...eh! What is this!
Dream-in a street peddler's costume with a beard, one of those little monkey music box things, and an Italian accent- Dance, little monkey, dance -starts turning the handle on her box to make icky music play-
Zero-dances the hula with Hawaiian music playing in the background- What! I did not tell myself to dance!
Dream: I did-grins- With this! -points at computer keyboard- I control you! MUAHAHAHA!
Zero: Oh, you'll pay for this. It may not be today, it may not even be tomorrow, but I can guarantee it'll be once I get my pay check -random guys whistle at him- Hey! Do you want to get your spinal cord ripped from your back!
Last time
Flash sighed, "This is boring. Everyone's too good. Autumn, wear your dinner."
"Okee dokee!" Autumn saluted before picking up her bowl of spaghetti.
Kurama reached out a hand to stop her, "No, Autumn, don!"
Autumn turned the bowl over on her head in order to wear it like a hat. All the spaghetti was hanging down from the bowl and sauce was dripping down her face. She was grinning happily. Kurama sweat dropped, "-t..."
Hinote, Yusuke, Flash, and Loki started to laugh. Hiei watched with mild amusement. Kurama was rubbing his head in frustration. Loki suddenly slammed his hand on the table, "I know why the last trick didn't work right! I didn't say 'Sminglefoof'!"
There was a puff of smoke and sitting in Kurama's place was Youko's four tailed silver fox form. The fox looked around at everyone and then down at himself before letting out a screech of horror equal in pitch to Autumn's squeal of delight.
Now
A Fox in a Tub is Worth Two Peppy Peanuts:
"So cuuuuute!" Autumn squealed as she hugged the fox tightly.
Youko grinned, already enjoying the attention he was getting. He noticed the spaghetti on Autumn's head and started to eat it. The people in the nearby tables had begun staring at the group of teens. Hinote blinked, "Wow, you turned Kurama into his fox form..."
"When will he change back?" Hiei asked.
"Err...I'm not sure..." Loki answered, "You see, as far as I know, the spell is permanent. I've never used it on living things before, only on dolls but they usually imploded. I'm actually really surprised that he survived."
Youko started to growl at the magician, you were trying to kill me!
"You were trying to kill him?" Autumn growled.
"No, no! Of course not!" Loki laughed nervously.
Flash let out a squeak of delight. "Do you know what this means?"
"Kurama can't go to school anymore?" Kuwabara asked.
"While that may be true, no one cares about school anyway! I was thinking more along the lines of us being able to enter the dog show now that Kurama is stuck in his fox form and can't protest." Flash smirked the smirk of one who is close to achieving their plans.
Harmony took over, "Oh joy! This means I get to do this!"
Youko whined as Harmony put the muzzle from before over his snout. Come on, Harm, this isn't fair! I haven't done anything to deserve this!
"What's the muzzle for?" Yusuke questioned.
"Revenge. I mean...it's to keep him from biting anyone when we groom him for the show." Harmony corrected herself quickly.
"Pfft, who said anything about us grooming him? We're taking him to a pet salon. Let somebody else risk their fingers, I need mine for my world conquest plans." Flash crossed her arms and nodded.
The waiter came by their table, "Excuse me, I believe I told you earlier that animals of all sorts are not allowed inside the restaurant. Please leave immediately."
"Pa! Panyo pa pa pan!" Panyo yelled at the waiter from his seat atop Youko's head.
"Panyo! That's rude! What a good little puffy wuffy you are!" Autumn took the puffin and started to hug him. Panyo gave a happy chirp.
Hiei stood up and left abruptly. Everyone stared after him. Flash stood up, "Roughly translated, that means 'I'm sick and tired of being stuck in a confined area with all of you. I'm leaving. Follow me and your deaths shall be slow and painful.' That being said, let's go follow Hiei!"
"WOOHOO! ROAD TRIP!" Hinote and Autumn yelled.
The group got up and left the restaurant. They stood outside and looked around. Flash pointed at a nearby tree while nodding at Autumn. Autumn grinned and snuck over to the tree. She took a deep breath, "HIYA FLEA BOY!"
Hiei fell out of the tree in surprise and landed on the ground with a thud. He sat up and glared at Autumn, "What are you doing here?"
"Flash did it." Autumn pointed at Flash.
Flash walked over and pat Hiei on the head. "We're going to find a pet store that's still open at this time of night and you're coming with us!"
"What if I don't want to...?" Hiei was interrupted by Flash.
"And you're coming with us." Flash emphasized while grinning.
Hiei nodded solemnly. Youko had walked over to a nearby fire hydrant and was sniffing it. Just then a bum ran over, howling like a monkey, and hugged the fire hydrant. He started hissing at Youko. There was foam forming around the bum's mouth and one of his eyes was twitching. "Gets way frem me wife!" yelled the bum.
Youko whimpered and ran over to cower behind Autumn. Autumn pat his head, "Aww, is the wittle puppy fwightened by the man?"
Panyo hid his beak behind his wing and snickered at Youko. Youko growled at the little puffin. Flash pointed off into the distance, "To the pet store!"
With that, the group of five teens, two demons, a fox, and a puffin walked off down the street in the direction of the nearest pet store.
A few hours and many pet stores later:
"Argh! Who'd have thought that finding an open pet store would be so freaking difficult!" Flash yelled in exasperation after their search had proved futile.
"Well, it is almost midnight. Almost all stores are closed by now." Hinote nodded.
Flash's eyes sparkled with a particularly evil plan. "Except for 7-11's..."
"Err..." The group exchanged looks, wondering what Flash's recent lack of coffee had done to her mind and how they should protect themselves from her.
Flash led her loyal subjects to a nearby 7-11. At the door, she turned around and held up a finger as she spoke, "Now remember, slaves, since it is the middle of the night, this quaint little store will be full of strange and sanity challenged individuals, some of which will be insomniacs who are addicted to caffeine. Be wary of where you walk and at all times stay close to each other. If one of you gets attacked, give the signal and I'll come to help you."
"What's the signal?" Loki asked.
"Are you kidding me? I'm not telling you people what the signal is! If I do, then that means I'll actually have to help you!" Flash laughed before turning around and walking inside.
The others exchanged looks before following her inside. The store was dark except for a bunch of candles which were arranged around the counter. Behind the counter were a couple of workers, though they could barely be seen in the dim light. They had large eyes which reflected the candlelight, creating the illusion that they were glowing. The workers let out a low inhuman hiss as the group passed by and reached out their claw like hands to try and grab them.
"This place is creepy..." Autumn whispered to her companions as they hurried past the counter.
A creature scurried in front of them on all fours. Panyo flew up to Autumn's head to cower there. Autumn put a hand on Youko's head as reassurance that he was there. Yusuke and Hinote walked closer together. Hiei was mentally taking notes so that once he began his conquest of the three worlds he could use these hideous creatures as part of his army. Loki was taking note of the effects of the candlelight for future shows. Kuwabara sniffed the air.
"Is that...hot dogs?" Kuwabara asked.
"Shh! Kuwabara you'll attract attention to us!" Loki hissed.
Kuwabara wandered off in the direction of the smell. Hinote stopped walking suddenly, "Where's Flash? We've been walking for a long time and still haven't found her. Not only that but we haven't even found the opposite wall yet. I'm starting to think there is no other wall!"
"Maybe the wall's just up ahead and we just have to keep walking." Autumn said optimistically.
"Face it Autumn, we're doomed! We're never going to survive this trip! We'll be torn limb from limb by hideous mutated humans and then eaten! No, we won't be eaten. We'll be chewed! Chewed and then vomited up as food for their hideous worm babies! We're going to die!" Hinote started twitching and looking around fearfully.
Autumn took out a flashlight and turned it on. She scanned the area ahead of them quickly. A few creatures on four legs hissed and scurried away. Autumn was able to see that there were bats sleeping on the ceiling of the store and there were stalactites and stalagmites (those things that hang from the roof of a cave and stick up from the bottom) around the store. The light landed on the wall which was pretty close to the group.
"See? I told you we were close to the wall. All we have to do is use my flashlight to find Flash and then we'll get out of here. It's no big deal. We'll all be fine." Autumn smiled.
Hinote let out a sigh of relief. Then the flashlight flickered and went out. Hinote screeched, "We're all going to die!"
"We're not going to die, Hinote. We're all going to be fine." Autumn assured.
At that moment Kuwabara started to scream loudly. Hinote hissed, "Does that sound fine to you!"
"Was that Kuwabara?" Loki asked.
"Sounded like it." Yusuke responded.
"In that case let's ignore it and continue looking for Flash." Hiei stated.
Youko started to growl lowly at an approaching creature. It crawled a bit closer. Youko growled louder. He then pounced on it. The creature let out a screech and crawled away with Youko chasing it. Autumn whistled, "Youko heel! Bad fox! Come back!"
"And then there were five." Loki said. Panyo attacked the magician. Loki whimpered, "I mean six..."
"That's it! I'm not going down without a fight!" Hinote announced.
Hiei arched an eyebrow, "You're going to fight? With what weapon?"
"This one!" Hinote announced, taking out a camera and laughing insanely.
"You do realize we can't see what you're holding, don't you?" Loki questioned.
Hinote snapped a picture in Loki's face, blinding him with the flash. Loki started stumbling around holding his eyes. He tripped over an extended leg and fell flat on the floor. A bunch of the hideous creatures piled on top of him. Hinote let out a war cry and jumped into the pile, snapping pictures in every direction.
Autumn picked up a few bottles of Tabasco sauce, "It's time to fight for our lives!"
"Alright! Let's go!" Yusuke cracked his knuckles and then jumped into the fight with Autumn.
Hiei leaned against the counter and ate some potato chips as he watched. A few minutes of hissing, scratching, and biting later, the light turned on. The pile of fighters froze and looked up to see Flash with her finger on the light switch. She arched an eyebrow, "What in the seven hells are you idiots doing?"
Autumn had sunk her teeth into Yusuke's leg. Yusuke had his hands around Loki's neck. Hinote had a leg of Loki's and a leg of Autumn's in his grasp. He also had his teeth on Yusuke's neck. The four of them were tangled in a big ball of people. Hiei spontaneously burst out laughing. He then stopped quickly and his face regained its usual indifference. He ate a handful of chips.
"I leave you guys alone for two minutes and you've already resorted to cannibalism. I'm ashamed of you guys." Flash sighed.
"But we were fighting the evil creatures what came from the coffee mug!" Autumn protested, managing to free herself from the people ball.
"You mean them?" Hiei asked, pointing at a group of people cowering in the corner. They had large dark rings under their eyes and were crouched on all fours. They were hissing and screeching.
Yusuke stood up and rubbed his neck, "Damn, Hinote! For a minute there I thought you were actually trying to puncture my neck with your teeth like some kind of freaky vampire boy! Pretty crazy, huh?"
"Hey! I'm not freaky!" Hinote yelled. Autumn elbowed him. "Oh. And I'm not a vampire, I swear."
Flash held up a plastic bag, "Look, we've got what we came for, let's leave. Eh...where's the pooch?"
There was a shuffling in the corner and a silver ball of fluff was slid over and into the counter. The fluff uncurled to reveal Youko lying on his back with swirly eyes. He had his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Loki poked him with his foot. The fox whimpered and turned over.
Flash looked around at her bruised servants, "And where's Autumn's puffin thing?"
A bag of chips fell off of a shelf and started crawling towards them. It fell over with a squeak. Panyo pulled herself out of the bag and saluted Autumn, chattering something incomprehensible in puffonian.
"Alright, since we're all present and accounted for, let's go." Flash turned and opened the door.
"What about Kuwabara?" Loki asked.
"Who?"
"Kuwabara." Loki repeated.
Flash shook her head, "I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about. I've never met a person named Kuwabara."
Loki looked at the others who were mumbling similar things to Flash. Kuwabara stumbled out from an aisle. He was limping, "Guys! Don't leave me behind!"
"Monster!" Autumn yelled, squirting Tabasco sauce in his eyes. Kuwabara fell on the floor in pain and the group ran outside.
"What's in the bag?" Hiei asked.
Flash held up a collar, leash, a bottle of dog shampoo, and dog conditioner. "If nobody's awake to groom our dog, we'll have to do it ourselves. Or rather, Autumn and I are going to stay at a safe distance while you, Hinote, Loki, and Yusuke groom our dog."
"That's not fair!" Hinote protested.
"Oh it's very fair. You see..." Autumn spun in a circle, magically transforming into professor Autumn. She pushed her lens-less spectacles up on her nose and pointed her pointer at the chalkboard that appeared. It had the equation 'Girls + Water Happy Perverted Fox' written on it with little doodles above it representing the words. "This equation is the deciding factor in this matter. As you can plainly see, it is not a good idea for Flash and I to get near the water while Youko's around."
"Why don't we just wait until morning?" Hinote suggested.
Flash hit Hinote on the head, "Stop questioning the power and wisdom of the writer!"
"What power? What wisdom? GAH! Why is my hair missing!" Hinote covered his now bald head with his hands.
"That's what happens when you mess with the writer." Autumn nodded.
Loki shivered, "This so called 'writer' must be a thing of pure evil..."
Kuwabara randomly appeared with the others. He grinned, "Hi guys!"
"Damn it! Look what you fools did!" Hiei yelled at them.
Youko started scratching his ear with his back foot. Autumn transformed back into Autumn. She snickered, "It looks like somebody needs a flea bath..."
"Don't tell me we have to go back into the 7-11." Hinote visibly paled.
"No. I've got some flea shampoo left over from the last time Autumn got caught by the dog catcher and stuck in the pound." Flash answered.
Everyone turned to stare at Autumn. She was imitating Youko by sitting on all fours and using her foot to scratch her ear. Panyo then decided to imitate Autumn. What an odd sight it would have been for any passersby had there been people actually awake and walking around that early in the morning: a four tailed fox, a girl, and a puffin sitting side by side while imitating each other.
"I miss my hair." Hinote sobbed.
"Here's a hat." Flash put a pink girly hat with a flower on Hinote's head. "Now let's get going to my house."
The gang walked away. A random large Viking armor clad woman came over and sang, "Moments laaaaaaaaaaaaater!"
Flash slowly opened the front door of her house and looked around. She tiptoed into the room and then motioned for the others to follow. They entered single file, tiptoeing and looking around for anything or anyone that might compromise their mission. They were almost at the stairs when Yusuke spotted a catnip mouse. Perceiving this small beady eyed toy as a threat, Yusuke fired a spirit gun at it. There was a loud crashing explosion as the blast vaporized the mouse and part of the floor. Flash stared with completely blank eyes and her mouth hanging open.
"Yusuke's gonna diiie!" Autumn sang, rocking back and forth on her heels.
Hiei hissed, "Nice job, detective. Not only did you make a gaping hole in the floor, but you've no doubt woken up the whole house!"
Yusuke's response was cut off by a ball of black fluff fell onto the floor in front of him. The fluff uncoiled, revealing Flash's cat. The cat hissed. His orange eyes flashed with fire. Yusuke laughed nervously, "Heh heh...nice kitty..."
"Flash, what was your cat doing on the ceiling?" Loki asked, looking up to see little puncture holes where the cat's claws had been stuck.
"Oh, he likes to sleep up there." Flash shrugged.
Loki arched an eyebrow, "On the ceiling?"
Flash rolled her eyes, "No, Loki, in heaven."
Meanwhile, the cat had jumped onto Yusuke's head. He swiped his paw at Yusuke's hair. It bounced off with a metallic clank. The cat blinked before trying again. The same thing happened. The cat went crazy and started slashing at the hair. There were many metallic sounds as the cat went crazy. Finally the cat gave up and slid down Yusuke's shirt to attack his back. Yusuke started screeching and running in circles. He fell on the floor and started rolling.
"YUSUKE! YOU'LL HURT MY CAT!" Flash screeched at the boy.
"Oh, so if your cat kills me, it's ok but if I hurt the cat it's not?" Yusuke asked unhappily.
"Duh! We've been through this before!" Flash responded.
Hiei had situated himself by Yusuke's head with a large cooking pot. He dropped this on Yusuke's head, instantly knocking him out. "Oops. Clumsy me, it slipped out of my hands."
Hiei was instantly hugged by Flash, "Hiei! You saved my cat! I love you!"
"Flash, I think you're choking him." Autumn pointed out as he watched Hiei turn plaid.
The cat crawled out of Yusuke's shirt and sat on his head. While the cat cleaned his paw, Kuwabara finally noticed there was a cat in the room. He smiled goofily and hugged the cat, "What a cute cat!"
Flash paled, "Eww! Eww! Get it away from my cat!"
The cat started to yowl piteously. He then extended his claws and started clawing in every direction, landing multiple hits on Kuwabara. Kuwabara started to scream but lacked the common sense to let the cat go. He continued holding the panicking cat until Autumn hit him on the head with a frying pan. The baka fell to the ground next to Yusuke. Autumn caught the cat out of the air.
Flash took her cat reluctantly, "Ok, let's go upstairs to the bathroom. Not only do we need to bathe Youko but we also need to bathe my cat."
At the word 'bathe' both Youko and the cat hissed and started trying to get away. Youko's front paws were tied together and so were his back paws. Autumn and Loki put a broomstick between his legs, making him look like a cooking pig. Autumn held the front end and Loki the back. Like this, they carried the fox up two flights of stairs.
Flash opened the door to her bathroom. The bathroom had white wallpaper with blue tile. The necessities were colored blue as well. The shower had blue curtains with white lotus blossom flowers on them. Flash walked over to the tub of the shower and turned on the water. Without waiting for it to heat up, Flash dropped the cat into the water. There was a yowl of complaint that was muffled by the water and bubbles rose to the surface from the submerged cat.
Loki sweat dropped, "And you yelled at Yusuke not to harm your cat..."
"That was before Kuwabara touched it." Flash responded.
Loki and Autumn walked over to the tub. Autumn let go of her end of the stick, allowing the fox to slide off into the water with a thud. Autumn poked at the motionless fox, "Maybe we shouldn't have dropped him in head first."
"Nah, it's better this way. He won't be able to do anything perverted." Flash nodded.
"Shouldn't we at least move him so he doesn't drown?" Loki questioned.
"Nah, it's better this way." Flash received a hit on the head by Autumn.
"If Youko drowns, you lose that money."
Flash gasped, "Get him out of the water, now!"
Autumn pulled the fox's head out of the water. She looked around, "Wait, where'd Hinote go?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen him since we left 7-11..." Flash stated, looking around. "And where's your puffin?"
Meanwhile, on the other side of town:
Hinote and Panyo were in a late night antique shop. Hinote was looking at the wigs they had on display. Panyo was lying on Hinote's head to prevent the boy's baldness from being seen. Hinote sighed, "I never thought I'd say this, but I miss that horrible curly hair of mine..."
"Pa!" Panyo cheeped.
"How about this one, sir?" The store worker asked, holding up an Elvis wig.
Back at Flash's house:
"How much shampoo do we use?" Autumn asked, holding up the bottle of shampoo.
Flash looked over the manga she was reading. A firm believer in not doing work when there are others to do it for her, Flash was leaning against the sink and reading her manga while Autumn, Loki, and Hiei attempted to bathe the animals. "I don't know. Youko's large, dump the whole thing in."
"Kay!" Autumn yelled happily, taking off the cap of the shampoo bottle and letting it all pour into the tub water. The shampoo immediately started forming bubbles.
"Are the bubbles supposed to be multiplying at such an exponential rate?" Loki asked.
"I'm not sticking around for this." Hiei grunted, standing up and walking towards the door. His cloak was grabbed by Flash's hand. He tried pulling away but her grip was strong.
Flash was still reading her manga. "You're not going anywhere until Mutt 2 and my cat are squeaky clean."
Autumn turned her head to glare at Flash with angry eyes. She growled, "I am not a mutt!"
"I never said you were. Now, if you have to be so defensive about it, I'll be forced to assume that you really are a mutt." Flash shrugged, still reading her manga.
"I am not, you stupid cat!" Autumn's demon half, Harmony, snapped.
"While you're at it, Hiei, put some flea shampoo on Mutt 1. Her outbursts of anger are no doubt due to the annoyance the fleas are causing her."
"I don't have fleas!"
Loki poured some of the flea shampoo over the head of the steaming fox. She turned slowly with a murderous expression on her face. Loki smiled and waved. Harmony turned around fully and reached for a weapon, "You have just sealed your fate, human. You will now feel the wrath of the fox!"
Harmony's hand closed upon the stick of something and she pointed it at the magician, revealing it to be...a plunger. Flash and Loki burst out laughing. Hiei chuckled slightly. Harmony growled in frustration and stuck the plunger on Loki's face. He started making muffled screaming sounds and pulling at the plunger. Flash laughed harder. Harmony smirked. Loki fell to the floor from lack of air.
"It looks like you guys could use some help." A calm voice said from the doorway.
Dream: Blah. Well, that's the end of that chapter. Don't expect chapter 7 anytime soon. I'm taking a week off from the internet for personal reasons. After that I'll try and update. I've got plans for chapter 7.