Feyre

I groaned as I woke up, only to stumble out of bed immediately, barely making it to the bathroom on time before I was on my knees, vomiting. Rhys was beside me in an instant, making sure my hair was out of my face and rubbing soothing strokes on my back. I gave a small moan once I had decided I was done and he scooped me up, carrying me back to bed.

The minute he reached the bed someone started knocking at the door. "Mor?" Rhys called out uncertainly, propping me up on the pillows.

"Rhys?! Oh, can I come in?" she sounded frantic and I imagined her bouncing on the balls of her feet outside, wanting to bash the door down in her desperation.

"Sure," he sounded so hesitant and I felt him grab onto my hand as Mor burst in, beaming as she saw me. I could feel Rhys internal war through the bond, his mating instincts telling him to throw himself at Mor and tear her to shreds while his mind fought for control, trying to shove the thoughts back.

"Hey Feyre," she said cheerfully, jumping on the bed beside me, Rhys monitoring her every movement. Clearly noticing, Mor flashed a grin at me and I rolled my eyes back even though I did enjoy his fussing now and then, especially since my nightmare last night. I shuddered, remembering being shut back up in that tent, Devlon and two other Illyrian males leering at me. Only this time Rhys was tied up opposite and I had to watch them kill him. Eventually, as always, I plunged a dagger through my heart, unable to take it any longer. Rhys never said much about my nightmares, though they all had the same ending and I knew it upset him greatly. Just me thinking about it caused him to tense up as he was now, my mental barriers still too weak to hold anything from him. "How are you doing?"

"Better," I said, hating how my voice still sounded so weak. Rhys softly rubbed my back, soothing me slightly. He helped me settle back into the bed, refusing to let me do anything myself but hearing his constant worry about me in his mind I didn't mind, knowing he was as nervous as me about, well, everything.

Mor stayed for about an hour but eventually left, saying Cassian couldn't be left without supervision for long though I caught her glance at Rhys. Mor knew Rhys was a as taunt as a bowstring after sharing me for an hour and had decided to go before Rhys would lose all self-control. Rhys let out a big sigh the minute the door closed.

"No more visitors today?" I asked, amused.

"No more visitors," he agreed, kissing my head before resting his forehead on mine. We lay there in silence for ages, just bathing in each other's scent and relief that we were still together.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Rhys's voice broke the silence. I didn't need to ask to know what he was talking about. "I thought you should stay at that camp. I didn't think there would be such a difference between Fae and mortal illness's and assumed it was nothing more than the flu. The rebellion was more important."

"Not to me it isn't."

"Your court could fall if it succeeds!"

"And? Our court means nothing to me if I don't have you. You always come first to me. You always will. I don't care what you say, nothing'll ever change that."

I blinked away tears fiercely as thoughts flashed through my mind. Of Nesta screaming You worthless little beast! Go get some more food for us! Do you want us to die you sick little wild thing! Of Tamlin, going too far one time, you're undermining me in front of the whole court! In return I had cried 'I am to be your wife' and his response had struck me. 'I don't fucking care! This is my court! The court comes first! Another of Nesta grabbing Elain and fleeing from men attempting to rape us, but not before shoving me forward, crying Take her! That wild beast is worthless! I froze though as I felt Rhys stiffen next to me. I had forgotten my shields were down. "Rhys," I gasped but he was completely still, like a predator stalking its prey.

"I'm going to kill them," he snarled, rising to his feet. I sat up quickly, terror pulsing through me as I slid off the bed. My legs were too weak to hold me though and fell from under me. I barely missed smacking into the floor when strong arms caught me. Rhys's face swam above mine, his mouth moving in ways I couldn't distinguish, unable to hear anything as everything went black.

It was dark by the time I woke up, back in our bed, Rhys perched on the edge, head drooping as he had fallen asleep, hand holding mine. I shifted slightly, trying not to disturb him but the minute my hand left his, only for a millisecond before taking his back in mine his head jerked up, eyes wide open, teeth bared at an imaginary attacker. Realising I had woken up he turned to me, tears shimmering in his eyes. "Feyre," he rasped but I tugged him down, cuddling up to him. He lay one of his wings on me, shielding me from the outside world as he buried his face into my breasts. I ran my hand through his soft hair, tousling it gently.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into me, relaxing as I played with his hair.

"Don't be, I wish my barriers were strong enough to put back up, you must be sick of getting two trains of thoughts all the time," I replied unthinkingly.

I got a bat on my hand for that. "Actually, I quite like having your barriers down," he hesitated, "I'm used to knowing what everyone's thinking and I love that you're protecting your mind but I, I hate being shut out or not being able to see what you're thinking. Like those memories, I want to know those kinds of things."

"Then you'll hate Nesta," I objected but he snorted.

"Why should I like her? She is clearly capable of taking care of herself yet she made you do so. She undermined you and called you worthless and a beast," I could feel his anger growing as he spoke, "She saved herself and Elain by sacrificing you when she didn't even have to, throwing you to rapists! She wasn't trying to save Elain then; she was trying to get rid of you." His voice was dark as he finished that sentence.

"She's my sister," I protested weakly.

"Azriel's father let his stepbrothers beat him for years and never stepped in. You already know what Keir did to Mor. Why should blood mean anything? You demean yourself enough only to get snapped at in return. She's the worthless one, and you should bow to no one."

I opened my mouth to reply, to answer, but nothing came out. I didn't know why I sought Nesta's approval so much. Rhys was right though; I did demean myself when it came to Nesta.

"I am right, and as your High Lord I can tell you we bow to no one. And as the High Lady has the same job, then do not bow to her," he purred in my ear. "It is so much more attractive when my beautiful wife fights for herself."

"So now I have to do it to be attractive?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Mmhm, my new tactic," he said proudly, "Cause you'll do anything for me."

"Prick," I said, as punishment shoving him off me. He gave a yelp as he smacked into the floor and gave me a reproachful look which I ignored, turning to find a present Cassian had got me. It was a huge teddy bear, meant to be used as a substitute for Rhys when he was away. Grabbing it, I hauled it onto the bed and curled up against it and heard a cry of annoyance from behind me when Rhys stood up.

"I'll have you know that was a substitute for when I'm away," he said. I could swear he was pouting.

"Teddy is less arrogant than you," I responded. "Anyway, Cassian bought him for me and I won't get to use him much anymore as it's not like I can get rid of you."

I got a harrumph in return as Rhys stalked to the door, hollering for Cassian who appeared immediately, looking exhausted and panicked. "What!? What's wrong?! Is Feyre alright?!" his panic faded to confusion as he saw me waving to him while I cuddled Teddy.

"You bought her that and now she won't cuddle me," Rhys said, crossing his arms as he glared at Cassian.

"That is why I'm being woken up at 2am! Because your mate won't sleep with you over my very awesome gift of a handsome teddy bear. Rhys, how do you feel by being the less handsome one in the room?"

"Take it back," Rhys demanded and Cassian glanced at me cautiously but I smiled. He slowly moved past Rhys, walking up to me carefully and took hold of the bears arm. I pouted but let him take it before tackling him onto the bed, cuddling up with him instead.

"Um, Rhys?" Cassian cried, sounding torn between laughing at me and panic at how tense Rhys had gone.

"Teddy bear," I mumbled to him, laying my head on his chest as I pinned his arms to his sides. Cassian looked helplessly at Rhys who just stood still by the open door, staring at Cassian.

"Um, Feyre, as amazing as this is, I'm feeling it may be detrimental to my health to stay here," he said cautiously, trying to untangle himself from me.

"Aw, are you scared of the big, bad beast?" I purred, laying a hand on his wing, rubbing it teasingly between my fingers. Cassian shuddered under my touch, letting out a groan and then the bed creaked as Rhys clambered on it, wrapping an arm around me, stroking my stomach.

"Why am I not dead?" Cassian murmured to me.

"Because she's getting over her fear of Illyrians," Rhys mumbled, "It's good for her not to be locked up and, and," his voice wobbled slightly.

I turned to him and pressed a kiss to his head, "Rhys," I said sternly, "You're not Tamlin, in any way!"

"She's right Rhys," Cassian said, tipping me off him onto Rhys. "You were just worried, anyway none of us would let her leave this room either, though if you're going to have sex some warning would be nice."

We both snorted at that as Cassian stood up. "Do you want me to stay outside your room tonight or?"

Rhys hesitated before nodding, "If you wouldn't mind," he replied softly and Cassian grinned before sauntering out, shutting the door behind him.

I curled up on Rhys and he wrapped his wings around me, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I ran my hands through his hair softly until we both fell asleep, curled up against each other, shielded from the world.