It seem some of you have come to me with complaints about grammatical errors and such within the tale. I am sure that you will find the following very useful:

lkjgkjndb h;;ororgmgrmb kj ;oirg;jakhja;dfh;poe aerpojeporjh;oijrhnmv,

Oh yeah, and if some of the words seem made up, it's probably because they are.

Everyone busts through the Holodeck doors in hopes of finding some resolution to their
current insanities, but instead found themselves on a old pirate ship dressed as pirates and
sailors, all with the exception of Tuvok who still only wore his Santa Hat.

Then Harry turned to Tuvok once more, Tuvok being the only one he is allowed to turn to in this story, and spake words, "What do you hide in that hat?"

"A certain substance, when smoked, causes reason and matter to dominate over logic."

"But, isn't reason the same as logic."

"You're saying extraordinarily stupid things again Lieutenant."

"I'm Ensign."

"No, You're Captain. I am Lieutenant."

"Fine, I'm Captain, and I demote you to Crewman. Get on your knees and beg
for your life."

"I'd rather...ratha--"

"You'd rather what?"

"I'd ratha sing! Ahhhh ahh ahhhwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"I'd fancy a Vulcan Funeral Durge."

"Bitch!"

"Tuvok, how very unVulcan of you!"

"Silence!"

Tuvok walks to the plank and gently steps off. Harry Kim ponders as to how good this
substance was. Enough to make a Vulcan kill himself for no apparent reason, that's how good. Harry looked around for something else to do, but found nothing, and as
soon as he pondered, instantly fell asleep.

"Kewl," he thought to himself.

Harry Kim seemed to be suffering from a natural high. His dreams consisted
of butterflies eating bats, and roaches taking control of the world. Anything that could live a week without its head deserves to rule the world. Harry Kim then awakes to find Captain Janeway beating Kneelix with a sword. She was finally trying to fix that horrendous haircut. God be praised!

Then, Tom Paris, having caught a wif of Tuvok's bong yelled, "Cannon Ball!", and
jumped off the plank and died.

Ten replicas did the same and beneath the cabin, the true Tom Paris awoke from his slumber, and violently ate a frog.

Then the half dead Kneelix walked towards him and spake, "My, that was gracious."

Tom glared at him,"You idiot! It was an accident!"

Then there was a rap tap, tapping on the window and Kneelix, bleeding furiously, looked about and saw a greasy wad of hair. Tom stood and almost vomited, it's the ...GREASY WAD OF HAIR!"

It then began to move about, most moveiously and screeched as it came. Being so greasy, one wouldn't think so. Kneelix, still bleeding furiously in a most bleedious manner, looked at Tom in a desperate search for an explanation. Tom glared backwards.

"I'm over here Tom!"

"Sorry, was I glaring backwards again?"

"Will it kill us?"

"Yes."

"What can we do?"

"Nothing, it is going to kill us."

"We must be able to do SOMETHING!"

"Oh yes, there is one thing."

"What is it?"

"Sike! We are all going to die. Wait, I forgot, there is his weakness!"

"What is it!"

"Nothing! We are all going to die. But we could..."

"WHAT!"

"Do nothing. It will kill us until we die from it!"

Kneelix, in a rage in last attempts to do something, spits on the greasy wad of hair, and it dies. Then, deep under the sea, a most giant submarine with a crew of five thousand soldiers...isn't there, and doesn't exist, so don't worry about it! On the deck B'Elanna feels most lonely and digs inside her nose. Little does she know, she would find a friend, and a life long companion, a 4 kiloton buggery object.

"Wow, I really saved you up!"

Vorik then vomits for hours, in disbelief that he ever wanted that thing with that thing in her nose. He gets up, 100 pounds lighter, and dies, only to come back to life and LIVE! He never knew such things were possible, he considered continuing, but decided
against it and gently stepped off the plank and joined Tuvok, where all logical things reside. Why do Vulcans just give up and die? Well, I'll tell you, one was extraordinarily high and the other was insanely disgusted, that's why. Tom then walks on deck and finds a spare organ on the ground.

He picks it up and looks towards the water, "Vorik, you dropped you heart."

Vorik pops out of the water, "Never used it anyway!"

Tom then looks across the deck and sees the largest buggery object he had
ever seen, emanating from some poor woman's body. He then screamed as loudly as he
could for the longest period of time until the sheer loudness of it all, blasted him into
the ice depths of the sea, killing him on impact.

Seven of Nine then takes off her suit, not knowing the purpose of wearing it any longer and falls apart, "Ah," she said as she died, "that was the purpose."

B'Elanna then continues to pick her nose when "oops", out pops her brain, "Wow, that was easy. Now all I've got to do--"

She dies. I don't know why she thought she could talk without her brain. I
don't know how she even thought without her brain. Crazy woman. Dead woman, now. Must of been the Puppy Chow.

Naomi Wildman and her mother, having no purpose, died. As did Chakotay and Harry,
Kathryn Janeway, the Doctor, who couldn't die, Lon Suder, who didn't belong here in the first place, Kneelix, Kes, who wasn't even there, and the ship was left to it's doom, until, everyone was back in the messhall having a party. How convenient.