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Summary: Nathan returns safely home from war, only to be injured in a car accident. Will the accident bring his family closer together or tear them apart? Can his friends and family help him to deal with it before its too late? Naley, Brucas

Now That You're Gone
CHAPTER 7

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in.
-Katherine Mansfield

He carefully and inaudibly stuck his key into the lock and twisted it. The door creaked open and the streetlights filtered into the seemingly lifeless house. He shut the door gently behind him and placed his keys on the side table.

The only sound to fill the sleeping house was the steady squeak of his crutches as he walked. He stopped at the couch and shrugged his jacket off and placed it on the armrest. The squeak filled the house again as he moved down the hallway.

The flickering of the night-light that illuminated the hall way sent an eerie glow through the hall. He stopped at the first door and let out a shaky breath that he unknowingly had been holding. He debated whether to enter or not as his fingers brushed against the cold metal knob.

With a shake of his head he moved further down the hall and flicked on the light to the bathroom. Skillfully he opened the medicine cabinet without the loud click that it usually emitted. He placed the first vial onto the counter after reading the label and then reached for another.

A movement in the mirror caught his eye and he watched the door open slowly to reveal a tired-eyed small boy. "Daddy?" He questioned wearily as his small hands rubbed relentlessly at his lively green eyes.

Nathan set the bottle down quietly and smiled lovingly as his son stared up at him gleefully. "Hey there." Nathan smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. "Why don't we get you back to bed?" He whispered in an attempt to not wake up Haley. He placed the medicine vials into his pocket and followed his son into his room.

Nathan placed the crutches against the near wall and balanced himself long enough to tuck Andy tightly into his bed. "Are you leaving?" His small voice questioned as Nathan placed a delicate kiss on his forehead.

"I think I'll stay till you fall asleep, how's that?" He questioned as he scooted him over and lay gently down beside him. Andy cuddled warmly against his body and Nathan placed his arm protectively around his small body. "Sweet dreams." He whispered into the boy's hair.

"Night Daddy." Andy yawned into the pillow as he drifted off to sleep peacefully. Nathan listened as the boy's breathing regulated into steady, light breaths. He had planned to leave again as soon as the boy fell asleep, but the serene rhythm soon placed him into a content slumber.

Haley tossed violently, her wet hair from fretful sweat, plastered to her forehead. The sun leaked uncompromisingly through her blinds and eventually stirred her from her cruel sleep. A long, loud yawn escaped her lips from another restless night; and once again she woke up feeling tired.

Absentmindedly, she pulled on Nathan's shirt and a pair of jeans. Her muscles ached jadedly as she forced herself to leave her bedroom. As she passed the bathroom, she reminded herself to yell at Andy later for once again leaving the bathroom light on.

"Andy." She mumbled as she pushed his door open on her way past. She continued down the hallway and into kitchen. She placed her coffee on the brewer and then grabbed the daily paper from the mailbox. "Andy, time to get up." She yelled down the hall way as she spread the paper out on the table. Another glance at the clock forced her to venture down the hallway.

"Andrew, get up." She bellowed with irritation before she turned into his room. The sight before her made her heart ache, in a good way. Nathan laid on the bed, his leg dangling over the edge and his hair resting messily against the small pillow. Andy lay on Nathan's stomach, his head resting against his father's chest. Nathan's arms were dangled around the boy and held him close to his body.

She knelt down beside the bed and smiled at their sleeping figures. "Nathan." She whispered lovingly as her hand caressed his cheek lightly. A small laugh escaped her as he mumbled something incoherently and batted away her hand. "Nate." Her fingers combed gently through his dark brown hair.

"Hmm?" He murmured quietly. One hand rose from around his son and ran along his face. Fluttering open slowly, his eyes scanned the small room trying to figure out where he was.

"Sorry." She smiled sheepishly at his obvious sleepy state. He glanced down at his son with confusion and then at Haley. "I have to go to work. I was trying to wake Andy up."

"Work?" He questioned curiously. He shifted slightly and carefully placed Andy beside him.

"I uh, took some shifts at the café." She replied. His muscles cramped, and his bones creaked loudly as he stretched his body. A grimace crossed his face as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"We gotta get this boy a comfier bed." He stated jokingly. He had to admit, he had definitely missed her smile. She handed him his crutches as he sat up in the bed and led him out to the kitchen.

"So?" She cleared his throat hesitantly. Her fingers traced the rim of her coffee cup nervously. A slow heat crept up her neck under his intense stare, something that always happened, no matter how long they had been married.

He stayed silent though, his eyes leisurely examining her as she fidgeted tensely. The only sound that filled the room was the steady rhythm of his deep breathing. She could tell even without looking at him that he was studying her, examining her every action, trying to read her like someone would a book.

"Don't you have to go to work?" He questioned her finally after what seemed like hours of deafening silence to her. Without his usually cockiness, he leaned himself against the counter and folded his arms across his chest.

Her eyes gradually moved up his tall body and met his. "Are we ever going to talk about this Nathan?" She whispered brokenly as he defiantly moved his eyes from hers. She felt as though he couldn't even stand to look her in the eyes anymore.

"There's not much to talk about." He sighed touchily. She let out a sigh, one that didn't go unnoticed by him, but he chose to ignore it. A drop of wetness streaked down his cheek but he hastily licked it away before she had a chance to notice.

She wanted to say something to him, anything. She wished she knew the words to speak so that he wouldn't be so upset. She moved around the table and set her mug on the counter next to him. Gently she untangled his arms and held his hands tightly in hers.

Her eyes tried to force him to look at her, to look into her eyes. He glanced around the room as her thumb caressed small circles on the back of his hand. "Nathan…" She murmured gently. His gaze forcefully met hers for a brief moment, and he immediately regretted it.

"Don't. Just don't…" He whispered as his eyes fell shut to avoid her tearful eyes. He knew if he looked into them that he would crumble and give in. But the stubborn side of him told him not to, that this wasn't something he could just forget or bottle up inside.

She breathed another sigh and let his hands drop back down to his sides. "Will…will you be here when I get home?" She questioned. He bit his lip and clamped his eyes tighter; she knew the answer. Without another word passed between them, she left him there, and closed the door quietly behind her.

"Dammit!" He yelled to no one in particular as the coffee mug smashed against the opposite wall. His chest heaved up and down angrily as he stood against the counter, his body full of defeat.

"What's wrong?" Andy asked quietly as he tugged at his father's wrinkled shirt. Nathan took another deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. "Daddy?"

"Nothing." He whispered as he let his head hang low. Andy stared up at his father, and he knew that he was lying.

"Did you and Mommy fight?" He questioned softly. Nathan slowly let his eyes open and meet his son's. His level of perception never ceased to amaze Nathan; even for such a young child, Andy always knew when something was wrong.

"Yeah buddy." Nathan answered truthfully, too exhausted to think of an alternate story.

"Are you sad Daddy?" He questioned again. Nathan simply nodded and smoothed down the boy's hair. Andy held his arms up and Nathan bent down to pick him up. He once again balanced himself and held his son tightly against his chest.

Andy wrapped his arms around Nathan's neck and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "What was that for?" Nathan questioned softly.

"That's what mommy does when I'm sad." He replied simply.

Nathan smiled gently and caressed the boy's face with his thumb. "Thanks." He whispered softly.

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Haley entered the small café, the bells jingling harshly above her. Usually she enjoyed the sound, but today she wished she could rip the bells from the wall. Not bothering to stop and chat to any of the usual customer's she moved her way to the back immediately and started to pull on an apron.

"Morning Haley." Karen greeted cheerfully. Haley quickly turned to avoid Karen's eyes seeing hers. She knew that if anyone really got to see, then they would know that something is wrong. And the last thing she wanted right now was to talk to someone.

"Morning Karen." She replied politely. Karen grabbed a pencil from a cup and returned to her customers. The bells jingled above the door and Haley cringed. She glanced up and saw Lucas enter. If she thought she didn't want to talk to Karen, then she definitely didn't want to talk to Lucas.

"Hey Hales?" He questioned unsurely as he rounded the counters. Haley turned and pretended to be cleaning the opposite counter top.

"Yeah Lucas?" She questioned back.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He stated more than asked. Haley sighed and slowly turned to face him. His heart jumped as his eyes met hers and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug. "In the back." He said as she followed him away from the front.

He shut the door behind them and leaned against it. "Why is Nathan calling me and asking for a place to stay?" He questioned bluntly.

"He did?" She questioned back blankly.

"Haley." He said sternly, a tone he rarely used, and when he did she knew he had something important on his mind. "I need to ask you something."

"Yeah?" She prompted him.

"Do you?" He barely whispered as though it hurt him to ask. And in reality, it truly did. "I mean, do you regret it?"

"Lucas…" She groaned angrily. "What kinda question is that?"

"A pretty relevant one, considering." He motioned towards her.

"No Lucas. I don't." She answered weakly and sat back gently against the couch. She couldn't believe that he actually felt that he needed to question that, or that Nathan in fact did question it. "I guess sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if things happened different."

"What do you mean?" He asked gently as he sat down beside her.

"Like, if we waited to get married." She whispered just as softly as he had. "Or, if I had stayed on the tour. Or if we didn't have Andy. But, does that make me a bad person Luke? Is it wrong to think about that kind of stuff?"

"No Hales." He shook his head gently with a small smile. She clamped her eyes shut and rested her head in his lap. "That's normal. Things happen the way they do for a reason. The only questions that you need to ask yourself are, 'do you still love Nathan?' and 'is this the life I want?'"

"Yes." She answered without hesitation. He soothing ran his fingers through her hair and watched her rest. "But Luke?" She asked quietly without opening her eyes.

"Yeah Hales?"

She slowly opened her eyes and met his. "If it's normal…then why can't my own husband stand to look me in the eye?"

--------------------------

Brooke opened the door and led Jak inside. She carefully dropped the groceries onto the counter. "Hey." Nathan sulked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Nathan." She jumped as she turned around to face him. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh uh." He smiled sheepishly as he leaned forward on his crutches. "I'm sorry. Luke said I could stay here for a bit."

"Right…where's Andy?" She questioned curiously as she placed the milk into the fridge.

"You really were in your own little world weren't you?" He laughed lightly but stopped when she threw him a death glare. "He's on the couch watching TV. Listen Brooke, if you're not all right with me staying here…like if you felt you were betraying Haley or something…I'll understand. I can find another place to crash."

"Nah, it's fine." She assured him. "Speaking of which though, what is going on with you two?"

"Well, let's see." Nathan laughed bitterly to himself. "Its kinda complicated…. actually no its not if you really think about it. Haley regrets ever marrying me."

"I'm sure that's not true Nathan." Brooke smiled gently at him. He shrugged his shoulders. "Have you guys even talked since then?"

"Not really." He sighed. "I'm not ready to. Those things she said, the way her eyes glazed over and yet held so much heat behind them…it scared me Brooke. I've never seen Haley like that."

"Have you talked to anyone about it?" She prodded.

"Luke, but he always ends up getting pissed at me and taking Haley's side." Nathan shrugged lightly.

"Well, I'm here." She smiled gently as she pushed herself up onto the counter top. "And I don't have anywhere to go. So talk."

"You know this is weird right? Me and you talking." He smiled as he mimicked her actions. "It's just that…I see her differently now."

"Different how?" Brooke cocked her head sideways slightly.

"Like…I dunno." He frowned. "It's hard to explain. I just feel like our lives together has been a sham. That all that love I thought she had for me was just in my head. That is was something that I wanted so bad that I actually thought it was true."

"Please." Brooke scoffed. "Haley loves you. That is the one thing in life that you never need to question."

"How do you know that?" Nathan questioned. "Huh? Cause the Haley I saw that night only held one thing in her eyes. And it was resentment…towards me."

"Nathan, I get that your going through a rough time…I really do." Brooke replied sympathetically. "But pushing Haley away is not the right way to deal with it. And that's what your doing. Your pushing her away because it's easier than letting her in."

"But she said it Brooke!" Nathan exclaimed. "She pushed me away. She's the one that said those things."

"And you didn't force her into it?" Brooke questioned. Nathan went to respond but quickly closed his mouth. His brow furrowed as he became deep in thought. "Nathan, go talk to your wife. Figure this stupid thing out."

"I will." Nathan nodded slowly. "I just need a little bit more time. Okay?"

Brooke merely nodded as she hopped off the counter. "Thanks Brooke." Nathan whispered as she walked past him.

He was left to think about what she had said. Maybe he did push her into saying those things. But he couldn't help but wonder…even if he did force her to say them, did that really mean that she didn't think them?