Disclaimer is in chapter 1.

Wednesday Addams looked up when her, well she supposed 'friend' was the best way to describe him, walked into the library. She hadn't seen him at lunch, but had certainly heard the snickering from other students. He didn't look terribly happy as he walked in, which she recognized as being out of character for the young man she'd grown to know.

Apparently Hermione had noticed it as well as the verbose girl immediately spoke when she saw him approach. "Xander? Are you ok?"

He curled up his lips, "Yeah, just dandy. I've got most of my House ready to strangle me."

Hermione blinked, "Whatever for?"

"I lost points."

"How many?" Hermione frowned, "I heard it was only five."

"Yeah, but Professor Snape took them. That basically is the same thing as being called a traitor." Xander scowled, slumping into the chair.

"What? But that's insane!"

"No, it's the way Slytherin works," Wednesday corrected mildly.

Hermione growled, "That makes me so mad! That's not how it's supposed to work!"

"Imagine that." Xander muttered, looking around, "Hey Herms?"

"How many times must I tell you not to call me that!?"

"Uh... at least another time, I guess." Xander shrugged, "Look, you don't have any real strong attachment to the twins or anything do you?"

Hermione glanced at him askance, "Why are you asking?"

"I should think that is obvious," Wednesday answered for him, "Revenge."

"Bingo."

"Alexander Harris! You could get into trouble, and if you wanted revenge why not just tell Professor Snape?"

"This isn't a matter for the teachers," Xander shrugged, "It's between me and them. It's not like they tried to murder me."

"I hardly see what that has to do with anything," She huffed.

"Hey, I stand on my own, Herms." Xander replied. "Some things you just don't do, and run to the teachers with every little problem is one of them."

"I agree." Wednesday said calmly. "What are you thinking?"

Xander shrugged and frowned, "I don't know yet. I've pulled a few practicals in my life, but nothing on the scale these two manage. They've got years of spell experience on me, and it's pretty obvious that they're no slouches in the imagination department. I don't want to use the old cliché stuff, even if I could figure out a way to pull it off, it's just not that impressive compared to some of the magic stuff they pull."

"True." Wednesday acceded. "They transfigured your robes, I assume?"

Xander nodded, "And charmed them , using some kind of trip wire trigger I think."

"Really? That's advanced runic magic," Hermione broke in, "I don't think they've learned anything like that in class yet."

"So they're working ahead of the grade too, huh?" Xander slumped a little. "Great."

He glanced behind him at the books, "Hey, I wonder if there's anything in here on practical jokes?"

"Honestly, Xander, of course there isn't. This is a school library," Hermione said as Xander got up and made his way to the shelves. "I told you, there's nothing there."

"I'm just checking, Herms." Xander replied, wandering the bookshelves as the bushy haired girl got up to follow him. "Not even in the P section?"

"Oh honestly, this library is sectioned by category, not alphabetically." Hermione rolled her eyes, "It's a magical version of the Dewey Decimal System."

Xander blinked, then shook his head as he checked the titles and sighed, "So I'm guessing there's no practical jokes section then, huh?"

"No, there most certainly is NOT."

He nodded, "Figures."

Xander made his way back toward Hermione, only to freeze as one of the books literally jumped out and hit him on the head. "OW!"

"Xander! Are you ok?" Hermione rushed forward, wincing as Madame Pince made herself known behind them with a harsh 'shhh'.

"I'm fine. I just got attacked by a book," Xander scowled at the blank tome that had clobbered him. "Weird. There's no title."

"No title?" Hermione took it from him, "Let me see."

"Hey!"

She ignored him, frowning as she flipped it open, "it's empty."

Xander took it back, glaring at her, "Empty."

"Yes, empty, Mr. Grabby." She scowled at him.

"Look who's talking." Xander shook his head, then he frowned, "What are you talking about, it's not empty."

He had opened it to the inside cover page and was quickly enthralled to see elegant text appearing in cursive script.

The Scholastic Grimoire of...

Xander blinked when an animated image of a big black dog ran out into the page and started barking at the words, scattering the letters across the page, then chased them away.

"Xander, what?"

"Shhh..." Xander said absently, not looking up as he walked back to the table he shared with Hermione and Wednesday.

The dog had finished chasing the words away, then paused and seemed to *grin* at Xander before jumping up and grabbing something out of the page with teeth and pulling down. Like a shade being drawn a new title page appeared before Xander's eyes.

The Maleficium Maraudette.

Xander blinked.

The words 'Sirius Black!' appeared in big black block letters, an image of a witch running out onto the page with wand drawn, casting hexes at the dog as she ran him off, a text bubble appearing above her as she seemed to scream at the dog, 'Stay out of our journal you mangy mutt!'.

"This is like watching a bugs bunny cartoon," Xander grinned.

Hermione, who was now looking over his shoulder, frowned, "I've heard that name somewhere before."

Xander didn't respond as the witch turned to him and sighed, shaking her head before turning to wave her wand around. The dog induced title caught fire and burned away, to be replaced by the original title, this time in it's compete form.

The Scholastic Grimoire of Evans, Prewitt, and Black.

Then, below that, in smaller letters new words appeared and caused Xander to catch his breath.

A guide to the Art of defensive pranking, or Marauding the Marauders.

"Who do you suppose they are?" Hermione asked from beside him.

"I don't know," Xander admitted, "I'm pretty curious about why the book attacked me, though."

Wednesday looked up, head tilted as she seemed to pay attention to them again. "You were attacked by a book?"

"Look!" Hermione hissed, pointing to the book.

The page had turned on it's own, and Xander began to read as words appeared.

If you have found this book, then you are in need of it's contents. Within you will find all our class notes from first year to NEWTS...

Xander winced as Hermione gasped in his ear.

However, having found and being able to read this book, it is likely the pages on defensive pranking that are of most value to you. Having attended school for seven years with those most annoying of pranksters, the Marauders, and with full knowledge that they have left many of their own artifacts behind as they too finished their Hogwarts education, we of The Coven have decided to seed this book for those who may yet suffer under the tyranny of a Marauder's Rule.

Xander blinked, looking at Hermione and then over at Wednesday. "I'm just going to go on record now as saying that, while cool, Magic is pretty creepy sometimes."

Wednesday just shrugged, but Hermione nodded.

"May I?" Hermione asked this time, so Xander nodded and handed the book to her.

She accepted it, and began to pour over it, only to gasp a second later.

"What?"

"It's blank!"

Xander paled, he needed that book, and quickly took it back. He frowned, noting the writing reappearing before his eyes.

For security purposes this book may only be read when being held by the person whose need activated the charms. Be warned, use the knowledge within with great care. Any violation of the tenants of The Coven will result in the rescinding of your right to use this tome and its immediate return to its hiding place in the library.

"Fascinating." Wednesday said, for the first time taking an active interest in the happenings.

"That's not right." Hermione huffed, crossing her arms as she slumped in the chair. "Books are for everyone."

"Not this one, apparently." Xander said, flipping the pages.

"Indeed. The charms work is extremely advanced," Wednesday added, "In fact, I believe that some of them are approaching Master's level."

Hermione reluctantly nodded in agreement, "She's right. Whoever these people are, they're really good at spells."

"Cool." Xander breathed, then grinned, "So... anyone up for a round of torture the twins?"

"I'm in." Wednesday responded instantly, much to Hermione's horror.

Said horror only grew more pronounced as the dark child went on with a gleeful gleam in her eyes, "In fact, I have an idea for you already."

"Oh yeah?" Xander leaned forward, grinning wide.

His grin dropped a few moments later, and his expression slowly morphed to match Hermione's as Wednesday laid out her idea. He and Hermione looked at each other, naked fear warring with awe as they both shuddered.

"Ah... maybe later," Xander said after a long moment, "I don't think they deserve that just yet."

"Pity." Wednesday said with a shrug, then turned back to her book.

The book made for pretty cool reading, in Xander's opinion. The three Witches who wrote it had apparently been scarily smart, but they each had their own personality that the passages they wrote were simply steeped in.

Evans, who seemed to be the ringleader of the Coven, was a 'Muggle-born' witch whose skill in charms and potions was obvious even to Xander's limited experience. Of course it helped that he was only permitted to read the sections she had revised specifically for first year students. She had been the one to enspell the Grimoire, though apparently this Sirius fellow had somehow managed to sneak in some handy work of his own during the process as every now and then a big black dog would show up and trash one of the lesson plans, apparently just for the hell of it.

Prewitt, the second member of the Coven, was a mixed blood student apparently, or at least that's what Xander through from the reading. She seemed to come from a pure blood family, but often commented on how she didn't feel fully a part of the large extended family the bloodline included. Her lesson plans and notes focused more on transfiguration and what she called pre-arithmancy, which Xander was relieved to note was simple arithmantic with a primer on mystical number theory.

Black, now there was a lady who had issues in Xander's opinion. He could only assume that she was related to this Sirius fellow somehow, but she seemed to hold an aloof disdain for the man whenever his influence made itself known. Her specialties were Curses, Hexes, and Jinxes, along with an enormous section on Pure Blood traditions and culture, written with an aim toward educating the 'unfortunate and ignorant victims of muggle society'. Xander thought she was mostly joking when she wrote stuff like that, since her two friends were obviously not part of the traditions she was espousing, but it was hard to tell because Black had the most reserved sense of humor of the three.

What Xander found really interesting, however, was the houses each belonged to.

That was right. Houses.

Evans was a Griff, Prewitt a Puff, and Black was Slytherin.

Now these three made sense.

The Christmas break was rapidly approaching, and Xander would be relieved as hell when it finally arrived. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with it, of course, but he just wanted some time away from his own House.

He was, pretty much, officially persona non grata with the Snakes and had been since his encounter with the twins and his subsequent refusal to give them up to Snape. So far as he knew he was the ONLY Slytherin to have lost points from their Head of house, and as far as the rest were concerned that meant he had committed that most heinous of crimes... disloyalty to the house.

Since the rest of the school had no interest in getting to know a snake, that left Xander with almost all his free time in the company of Wednesday or Hermione, or of course the few other American students who held very little stock in the house systems.

Still, that meant that the only fun Xander seemed to have was in the library, studying.

It was enough to make him cry.

"What are you two doing for the holidays?"

Xander frowned at the question, not knowing the answer really. "I don't know. I guess I might go home, but Cali is a long way off."

"By portkey it's only a few seconds," Hermione informed him, her tone taking on that superior sound it unfortunately tended to.

"Yeah," Xander allowed, "But international portkeys are pretty expensive, and I don't know if my parents can afford it."

"Salem Academy is covering those." Wednesday entered the conversation, her eyes piercing into Xander as she looked up from her book.

Xander grimaced, looking down as he pretended to read from the Grimoire he had taken to carrying around with him. "Yeah... well."

"Tell us."

The order in Wednesday's voice wasn't something Xander would ever have missed, even though this girl's version of Willow's 'Resolve Face' had little difference from her 'normal face'. He sighed, "I don't much like the holidays with my folks."

The two just stared at him and Xander sighed again.

"Look, I live my mom and dad, ok, but they aren't the best company around the holidays. They tend to... fight. A lot." He told them, surprised by his own calm tone and candor. "I try not to be around them much then."

Hermione looked horrified, but Wednesday merely nodded in acceptance of the facts.

"That's horrible!"

"Herms, it's ok," Xander told her with a smile, "I'll be fine."

"Of course you will be," Wednesday said, "You'll be coming home with me for the holidays."

"What!?"

"What?"

Wednesday wasn't one to repeat herself, however, and she merely returned to her reading as Xander and Hermione exchanged confused glances. Xander shook his head, deciding that they'd talk about it later and moved to change the subject.

"So, what are you working on, Herms?"

Hermione stared at him for a moment, then looked over at the dark Ravenclaw, then back at Xander. Finally she shook herself and glanced down at her own stack of books.

"Some personal research," She admitted. "I'm trying to find some information on Nicholas Flamel."

"Oh? Who's he?" Xander asked, glancing over.

"I'm not certain, that's part of the problem." Hermione admitted.

"He's an Alchemist." Wednesday said, not looking up. "A Master Alchemist, to be specific."

They both glanced over at her, Hermione's jaw dropping open. "How'd you know that?"

"I've read some of his published works," Wednesday shrugged, looking up again.

"I haven't found anything in any of the lists!" Hermione blurted, then flinched as she looked around for Madame Pince.

Wednesday gazed at her evenly, "I'm not surprised. They prune those lists after a century and a half. Flamel's work was all published over two hundred years ago."

Hermione looked disappointed, which piqued Xander's curiosity. "Oh, I didn't know he was dead."

"He's not."

Now Xander shifted his attention completely over to Wednesday, as did Hermione.

"What? But he must be, to have published masters work over two hundred years ago..." She trailed off, obviously at sea.

"Flamel is the creator of the Philosophers Stone," Wednesday replied calmly, though Xander noticed a faint look of distaste appear on her face.

That seemed to click something in Hermione, however, as her eyes lit right up.

"Of course! That explains everything!" She said, as if it really did, "Wednesday, I could kiss you!"

The dark child merely looked at her evenly, "You will not."

Hermione apparently didn't notice, however, as she threw all her books into her bag and then grabbed Wednesday up in a tight hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Then she grabbed her bag and bolted from the library.

"Well..." Xander grinned, highly amused.

"If you value your life and sanity, you will NOT repeat any of that to another soul." Wednesday informed him in a chilly tone.

Xander threw up his hands, "What? Me?"

She glared at him for a moment, then turned back to her books.

He chuckled, then went back to reading his own.

The last couple weeks to Christmas passed quickly, and Xander found himself feeling a little off as everyone prepared to make the most of their holidays. He'd forgotten about Wednesday's declaration, right up until the day the students were leaving for their vacations and the Addamses appeared in the Great Hall during lunch.

"Wednesday, love, how have you been?" Morticia asked, sweeping across the floor in her graceful, almost motionless step.

"I've been fine, mother."

"And have you made many friends?"

Xander shot a glare at the Ravenclaw table as several snorted derisively. He made careful note who, for future reference.

As he was finishing that, he was surprised to be greeted by Mr. Addams.

"Ah, Alexander old bean, how are things?"

"They're fine, Sir."

"Tsk, none of that, call me Gomez." Gomez grinned, "I understand you're coming with us for the holidays?"

Xander blinked, "I am?"

"Excellent! We've procured a fabulous home on the Continent just for the occasion," Gomez said enthusiastically, ignoring or missing the question in Xander's voice.

"Uh..."

"You'll love it, I'm sure. It's a wonderfully gloomy old castle in the Romanian hills," Gomez went on, "fantastic history there, I tell you. Bloodletting rituals, sacrificial ceremonies, massacres... all the holiday festivities."

Xander just stared for a moment as several of the Slytherins around him paled or simply looked confused. "Uh, Sir?"

"Now, now, Alexander, what did I tell you?"

"Uh... Gomez?"

"Excellent, now what is it?"

"I'm going to spend the holidays with you?" Xander asked, uncertainly.

"Certainly, Wednesday told us all about it. We've arranged everything, contacted your parents and all that," Gomez waved his hand airily.

"Indeed they have."

Xander turned to see Headmaster Dumbledore approach, smiling serenely. "Really sir?"

The old man nodded, "Everything has been signed off on, I thought you knew?"

"Uh... I guess I did, but I didn't think she was serious." Xander admitted.

"Ah," Dumbledore smiled a bit more, eyes dancing merrily. "Apparently she was indeed. Why don't you go get your things so you don't hold up the Addamses."

Xander nodded, then ran off, not noticing the paleness of the professors seated at the head table, or the look of real fear in the eyes of one Severus Snape.