"Why is there so much junk in the fridge?" Peridot groaned.

"You were the one who put a giant egg in there." Lapis shrugged.

They searched harder until Connie gasped, "I found it!" She lifted out something wrapped in tin foil. They opened it.

"What the clod is that?" Peridot creid.

"Ugh, gross, who thought it was a good idea to take a burrito home?" Jasper groaned, holding her home.

"It was a accident! I thought we would need it again." Lapis shrugged. She threw it in the trash.

"Hey, I never noticed that picture before now…" Connie said, pointing to a painting of Lapis, Jasper, Peridot, and Yellow Diamond above the fridge. They were in a boat and Peri was watching Yellow Diamond steer, Jasper held a shark
in a choke hold, and Lapis was laughing as she held her arms out, Connie saw the water behind the boat was as big as a tsunami. They were wearing old clothes.

"Oh! That's us!" Peridot creid.

"Why is everyone dressed like old timey people?" Connie asked, looking closely.

"Well, that was the fashion of the time." Lapis replied, seeming lost in the memory with a smile.

"Wait… how old are you?!" Connie gasped.

"Much older than mortal humans." Peridot answered.

"You're immortal?!" Connie gasped.

"Yes, but we can still get hurt and we can still die and get hurt."

"That must be a ginormous cake!" Connie cried. Her smile faded. "Wait… I don't remember celebrating your birthdays…"

"That's because we don't do birthdays." Lapis shrugged.

"What?! But everyone deserves a birthday party!" Connie cried.

Later, they were sitting outside surrounded by decorations. Lapis sat on a makeshift throne and Connie crowned her. "Lapis is now the birthday queen!"

Lapis giggled while the other gems clapped.

"I hope you like it, Dad made me this outfit and it brings me special birthday luck every year." Connie explained. She started to sing, "It might as well be your birthday, so why don't we have a party? Even if your age isn't
real, and your body's a illusion!" Lion was playing with a party hat and Connie grabbed it. "Lion!" She put it on his head. He tried to take it off. Connie sighed, "Lion, you're killing me!"

"Connie, you're trying, and I appreciate that… but aren't we a bit too mature for this human thing?" Peridot asked.

Lapis smirked and booped Peridot. "Boop!"

"STOP BEING STRANGE, LAPIS!" Peridot shrieked.

Lapis giggled and ran away playfully. Connie offered her a bat.

"Here! You can use this to hit-"

"I don't want to hit Peridot…. not with this, it's too hard, thanks for the offer though!" Lapis sighed.

"What?! No! It's for the piñata The Piñata is an artifact from ancient Mexico. I read all about it." Connie said happily.

She blindfolded Lapis, who swung the bat wildly. Connie held the piñata but squealed when Lapis was about to hit her. Connie threw the thing at Jasper who she hid behind. Lapis swung wildly. "Am I… getting close?!" She nearly hit Jasper
in the cheek. "Are you trying to poof me?!"

Lapis peeked out of her blindfold and saw the piñata. She used her wings to fly up and slam the piñata out into the ocean. "What now?" She asked excitedly.

"Well, you were supposed to get candy when you hit it, but…" Connie bit her lip.

"Oh." Lapis said. "Guess I don't get this game."

"That's fine, Peridot's party will have more candy!" Connie laughed.

Connie had dressed Lion in a clown costume and Peridot frowned. "Um, why did you dress your animal like that?"

"It's funny!" Connie cried, honking the nose.

"How?" Peridot asked.

Connie hesitated. "Er… Oh! I have jokes! Why did Peridot throw butter out the window?"

"Why did you do that?" Lapis whispered

"I didn't do that!" Peri cried.

"To see a butter fly!" Connie laughed.

"Why would I ever-?! I demand you to stop lying!" Peridot growled.

"I-I'm not! Hm… Oh! Are you a fan of pie?" Connie asked.

"I suppose I am… Why?" Peridot asked.

"Because I made you a pie!" Connie cried. "Gee, I sure hope nothing happens to it!" She pulled a face as she was walking to Peridot. She tripped on purpose. Peridot caught her quickly. "Careful, Connie.-"

Connie slammed her face into the pie. "And here comes the laughs!" She cried.

"You… killed it?!" Peridot gasped. She ran to Jasper and whispered something to her.

"Speaking for Peri here, she wants to go home, and your jokes are insulting her…. but personally, I think they're hilarious." Jasper said.

"I have to make this next one is the best one." Connie whispered.

"You gotta love this!" Connie creid, pointing to three small books. "It's fairy tales from when I was younger! You get in read a story, we act it out, what more could you want?Dad used to do this for me every year. I outgrew
it… but it's still fun for memories! So I see no reason to stop." Connie shrugged.

"I think this is why aging makes humans DIE!" Peridot whispered to Jasper.

Jasper bit her lip. "Connie… thanks for the birthday parties, but I think we're all partied out."

"What?" Connie gasped.

"Our age is an illusion, kid…. And we feel like this is more for human children…" Jasper said.

"Children? No, everybody, even adults, have birthdays! You're never too old!" Connie cried.

"We're just too big…" Jasper said.

"M-maybe I'm too old for this too?" Connie gasped. She tried to read the small book but it was the size of her palm.

"Are you… okay?" Lapis whispered.

"I just need time to think…" Connie sighed, getting up.

In the evening, Connie was walking down the boardwalk. "I never realized birthdays meant leaving things behind. All these parties, ugh, so embarrassing." She didn't notice her gem glow and she aged to a teenager. She saw Onion at the
arcade. "Oh Onion, so young, so innocent." She walked away just as the boy banged open the place that kept the quarters.

Connie was in the bookstore and looked around. "Oh… I can't read children books like the Spirit Morth series! I should read… adult books…"

"Those books were… weird. But a girl on the edge of adulthood, needs to have her life together!" Connie creid, aging into a fully grown adult.

She went into a t-shirt shop and looked at the choices. "I need a job, but which? Surf master? No. Love doctor? Isn't really me." She spotted the perfect one. " Ah, now this is the job for me!"

She walked out with her new shirt that said Professional Beach Babe. "This day went by so fast! I need a new book to read."

She entered the bookstore as a older woman with a few tiny white streaks in her hair. She walked to the counter. "Do you have anything new? You know what I like."

Sadie turned and frowned. "You must be confused madam, I work here everyday and I've never seen your wrinkled face before."

"Yeah right, Sadie. Ha, ha. I used to make jokes…"

Lars walked up and was confused.

"But you know what? I've had a lot of time to think today and sometimes you gotta smarten up, act like an adult. Because one day, if you don't, everyone you know is gonna grow up without you. And then you won't have little Connie to pick on
anymore because I'll be a grown up too." Connie huffed.

"Connie… who?" Lars asked.

"Connie Diamond Universe!" Connie yelled. "I'm going to the Fantasy section and you can't-" She turned to see her face reflected in a display case. "Ghaa!"

"Madam, are you okay?" Lars asked.

"I'm old!" Connie sobbed

"And crazy." Sadie said.

"I'm going to have to eat fiber cereal, all my teeth are gonna fall out, and then, I'll have to eat oatmeal and it'll be sugar-free!"Connie sobbed, sitting down on a chair. She aged more with more streaks coming to her hair. "I
need to reverse this!" Lars walked up to comfort her and Connie gasped. "I need, a "reverse birthday"... the queen costume." She turned to Lars and Sadie. "Will you help me into my birthday suit?"

Lars expression went blank and Sadie held back laughs.

"Get out of here!" Lars yelled a few minutes later, chasing her out with a stool.

Connie's hair went completely white and she fell. There was a noise and Connie glanced up. Lion was there!

"Lion…" She wheezed.

The lion picked her up and ran her to the temple.

Peridot used her metal powers to lift up a table and sighed. "Despite the strangeness, this was… fun."

Lapis saw Jasper with the birthday suit still on. "You know you don't have to wear that."

"It makes me feel… awesome." Jasper whispered.

Lion suddenly ran to them with Connie and dropped her in front of them.

"Connie!" Peridot yelled, running to her. She put her hand to Connie's heart. "Her heart rate's quickly receding!"

"Can we help at all?!" Lapis creid.

"My birthday suit might help…" Connie whispered.

Jasper threw off the cape and crown and put them on Connie. Nothing happened!

"Thanks guys, but I guess this suit's all out of birthday magic. We had a good run, didn't we?" Connie sighed.

"More birthdays, NOW!" Jasper yelled.

Connie looked up to see Lapis reading a fairytale and Lapis looked at her. "This'll make you better, won't it?!"

Connie grew older still.

"Peri, come on!" Lapis creid. She shoved Peridot who was now in a clown coustme at Connie.

"I can't! My little human/gem is dying! This won't help!" Peridot snarled through tears, holding a pie.

"She's our gem too! You must." Jasper called.

Peridot sniffed away tears and looked at Connie. "Oh, look, I have what, um, what appears to be a delicious pie. I sincerely hope nothing happens to-" Peri started to sob and dropped the pie. "Oh, Connie! You've got me expressing
my emotions!"

"Are you trying to kill her faster?!" Lapis creid.

Peridot sniffed and ran to Lapis, hugging her tightly.

Jasper walked up and grabbed Connie. She shook her violently, much to the others horror.

"What are you doing?!" Peri yelled.

"Jasper, stop… STOP!" Lapis screamed, pulling at the gem.

The leader turned, putting Connie down. "I thought… violence always wins…"

The gems started arguing as Connie took her last breaths. "Would you guys, just please," She turned to a adult again. "Control yourselves?!" The gems turned in surprise. "Oh no." She turned into a teen. "Oh, I'm
sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. But I can't stand to see you," she was an adult again, "freaking out like this!"

"Connie! You're changing!" Jasper cried.

"Your age is fluctuating, I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind!" Peridot gasped.

"Stop feeling old, please!" Lapis pleaded.

"But I bothered you guys and wasted your time!" Teen Connie creid. She turned into the old woman. "We all have such little time…"

"Connie!" The gems creid.

"You have to feel like yourself! Sweet and considerate and only occasionally a nerd, but it's like me, so I don't care!" Peridot sobbed.

"Y-you really think I'm all those things?" Connie whispered.

"Of course!" Jasper cried.

"Why else would you throw us all those parties?" Lapis whispered.

"Oh! I guess I am… pretty great." Connie turned back to her real self.

"Connie!" Lapis cried, her and Peridot running to the girl, they hugged her.

"We'll work on the rest later." Jasper chuckled.

Connie looked down and saw her legs were abnormally long. "Oh… yeah."