A/N and Disclaimer: RENT belongs to Mr. Larson. The lyrics in italics in this chapter are from "Peace in the Valley" by Mr. Johnny Cash. I don't own. I just borrow. Lovingly.
His eyes were somber as he quietly nodded to the others. The Life Support meeting had drawn to a close and, as usual, left him feeling both comforted and more than a little unsettled. Pulling his jacket more tightly around him, he slipped out of the building, heading down the street alone with his shoulders tightly pulled inward and his gaze trained on the sidewalk.
Lately it had begun to seem as though his life were filled with nothing but one conflict, one battle after another. He was tired of fighting. Hell, at this point he was just tired. Talking about disease could only help so much; no amount of words could revive the fading life in him.
Oh well, I'm tired and so weary,
But I must go alone
Till the Lord comes and calls, calls me away, oh yes
Well, the morning's so bright
And the lamp is alight
And the night, night is black as the sea, oh yes
Entering his loft, he stood for a moment without moving, taking in the shabby furniture, years-old posters on the walls, and other bits and pieces of what so many would see as a wasted life. Without bothering to take off his coat (it was just as cold inside as out, anyway) he moved slowly to the couch and curled up sideways, letting his eyes close while his mind kept wandering.
He felt like he was part of a doomed army, a soldier who had already seen too many others fall in a war they would never have chosen. He wondered what it was like for them now. Had the fight been worth it? Were they resting securely now, knowing that even though they had been lost from the start, they had won something by holding out as long as they had? Somehow, although defeat still scared the hell out of him, he was beginning to think that maybe it was okay to admit that he had run out of weapons. It was time to move on. Time to be free of this wasted prison he had been trapped in.
Well, the bear will be gentle
And the wolves will be tame
And the lion shall lay down by the lamb, oh yes
And the beasts from the wild
Shall be lit by a child
And I'll be changed, changed from this creature that I am, oh yes
And so, he silently proposed a truce. Without opening his eyes, a tiny smile crept onto his face as he agreed in his spirit to surrender, knowing that it would bring him ultimate freedom in return.
The afternoon sun fell gently on those gathered under it. A heap of flowers, vivid and fragrant, decorated a grave surrounded by faces. One by one each person came to rest a hand on the stone, now carved with these words:
Gordon Evans
1965-1991
Forever At Peace
As the funeral drew to a close, those who had come to say goodbye lifted their voices in a final song, to guide their friend on his way…..
There will be peace in the valley for me, someday
There will be peace in the valley for me, oh Lord I pray
There'll be no sadness, no sorrow
No trouble, trouble I see
There will be peace in the valley for me, for me