A/N: SURPRISE! Two new chapters in just7 days! As you can see, all is well in the land of The Slow Heal. Whew, I can't believe I have so many reviews. You guys are amazing. Thank you for continuing to read this and I hope I'm making it entertaining for you. For the first time ever, I am responding to some reviews. I probably should have done this from the beginning…but I didn't. Anyway…skip this part if you don't care
SalemWitch: Well, I emailed you asking for specifics, but I guess you either didn't get it or didn't bother responding to it, though I'm hoping it's the former of the two. That was kind of disappointing. Anyway…sorry you think the story has gone astray. Thanks for reviewing, I hope you like this chapter. But if not...it's alright.
GooseyCorsair: Welcome! You told me to "enjoy writing" and that really struck me because I think you're the first person to say something like that. That's awesome, thanks. (And believe me, I DO enjoy writing this fic.)
Luna: No, this story is not outlined. Does that scare you? Hehe…don't worry, I'm not abandoning you guys. Plus, it's all in my head. crazy eyes
Samiha: Don't worry, Ron won't be evil. He's just good ol' Ron.
Bizbeth: I know, waiting for that first kiss is torture. Don't worry…it'll happen and it'll be awesome. Just be patient my dear. (THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU!)
i-LuV-cHaRmEd18: When am I going to start on the actual romance part? Whenever the characters have progressed to a mental stage where they are READY to start a romance with each other. Don't worry, the second it is plausible, it will happen. Right now…they've got the attraction going on, but they still have far too much pride to admit it or act on it. (plus…they kind of hate each other, don't forget. They don't want to be attracted to each other.)
Whycantibreathe: lol, take a deep breath and calm down. I didn't realize that was such a big cliffhanger.
BlackEyedBella: I too would give my right arm to be Hermione in that situation…HEY…why don't I just write myself into the story! sigh I'm such a dork….anyway, thanks for reviewing! You've done every chapter, I appreciate that so much!
English person: I will try very hard not to Americanize this fic. I imagine it WOULD be annoying to you guys. There will be no American exchange students (since they're not even at Hogwarts anyway) and probably no American people at all, really. What do you mean by "truth or dare (rubbish)"? I don't know what that's referring to.
TheWitchQueen: haha, I don't think you have to worry about that. One thing I will NOT do is make Draco say stupid, mushy, romantic crap. We're definitely on the same page on this issue…
Bonnie Charlie: (I'm just calling you Charlie from now on) You always call me lass! That's so cute. I'm glad you're getting enjoyment from their struggles. Cause the characters sure aren't…
Keir-keir: Don't fret! I can't stand love triangles.
Laila: Ah, so I've pulled you back to the Draco/Hermione side….that's awesome! I'm so glad you like it.
Also, someone asked how many chapters there are going to be, but I couldn't find that review again for some reason so I don't know who asked it….anyway, the answer is, I don't know. Great answer, huh?
And THANK YOU to everyone else who reviewed, you make writing this story worthwhile.
Now go count how many times I said "Don't worry"! haha, I love reading these reviews. Often times they are frantic, imploring me to PLEASE don't do this or that and ordering me to UPDATE NOW. lol…so, a recap: No evil Ron, no mushy Draco, no love triangle, no Americans, and NO I'm not going to abandon you. I hope that quells your fears? If so…
Onward to chapter 9!
Chapter 9: Flying Sandwiches and Runaway Feelings
Disclaimer: That old chestnut.
What…just…happened! Draco thought frantically.
He thought he had been dreaming when he was pulling Granger towards him! But he wasn't! Dear God!
This was the second time in two days he had mistaken reality for a dream. And both instances had led to really awkward situations between Granger and himself. The first time, he had revealed to her the horror he felt over the death of his parents. And this time, he had revealed his growing feelings of…desire?…for her. Thank GOD he had realized what he was doing before he actually kissed her. Because he knew, without a doubt, that that's where he had been going.
What would she be thinking now? Oh, man. He needed serious damage control. How was he going to play this off? He certainly wasn't going to tell her, "Oh yeah, by the way, even though I've hated your guts since the moment I met you six years ago, since about…yesterday, out of nowhere, I've been having sexual thoughts about you. That's probably why I nearly molested you just now in my half-asleep state. Okay, bye!"
Damn it! What was he going to do?
Well, for the moment, all he really could do was play that moment over and over again in his mind. It wasn't so much the sights he was replaying, but the feelings. He'd had this strange sensation of warmth and closeness when Granger was held so near to him and their lips were just a breath apart. It was almost unbearable to think about because it had felt so…good.
And that dream! The one he'd been having right before Granger showed up…
No wonder he had tried to kiss her when he woke up. He couldn't help but think that if Granger could somehow see that dream…well, it would shock her right down to her toes.
Hell, it had shocked him. Small flashes of it kept popping up in his mind…hot skin pressed against hot skin, arms entangled, bodies writhing—
STOP!
He had to stop this! It was getting completely out of control. Over the past twenty minutes, not ONE thought related to anything but Granger had entered his mind. She was slowly wriggling her way into his brain, burrowing down so deep that Draco was helpless to stop thinking about her.
But he didn't want to think about her! He didn't want these feelings! They shamed him, they humiliated him.
Draco's heart nearly stopped when he heard a sound at the door.
Shit! She's back, he thought immediately.
But it wasn't the sound of knocking, or of the doorknob being twisted. It was…what… scratching? Was something scratching at the door? What the hell…
Draco waited for it to stop, but the scratching continued, on and on. He pulled himself off the bed and walked, very cautiously (and somewhat painfully), to the door. After listening for a moment more, he opened it swiftly, having no idea what he would find outside.
And as the lighting bolt of fur darted into the room, he realized what it was and instantly regretted opening the door.
Crookshanks.
Hermione was lying flat on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, wishing a runaway train or a stampede of horses would crash through her wall and crush her to death. It seemed like a much nicer course of events than oh, say, ever having to see Malfoy again. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like next time she was in a room with him. Would it be awkward? Would he be embarrassed? Or angry? Confused? Did he even know what he had almost done?
Well, Hermione certainly knew what he had almost done. He had almost kissed her.
And once again, at that thought, her brain burst into flames. (Or at least that's what it felt like.) It was just…incomprehensible. Mind-boggling. Insane!
And thiswas why she was questioning if he'd even known what he was doing. Her mind flashed back to that moment when he blinked and his face changed and he jerked away from her and started yelling.
Hmm. It seemed he hadn't known what he was doing while he was doing it…but afterwards…
Had he gathered enough sensory data (i.e., the sight of Hermione's lips only centimeters from his and the feel of his own hands pulling her closer) in that moment of sudden lucidity to figure out what he was doing?
Hermione once again pictured the aftermath.
Was his reaction of hot anger and wild confusion congruous to the situation of finding himself about to kiss a mudblood?
And then another popular question cropped up again: What did all this mean?
Was it just a single moment of delirium on Malfoy's part? Had he really just not known what was going on? Had he, perhaps, in his freshly-awoken state, mistaken Hermione for someone else?
Maybe, thought Hermione. But there was one little thing that made her think otherwise: that tiny flash of recognition in his eyes. It was small, very small, and perhaps wholly insignificant, but it was unmistakable. She had the unshakable feeling that he'd known it was her, Hermione Granger, mudblood extraordinaire, even as he'd been pulling her closer and closer.
It was, of course, a crazy thought. He would never kiss her. You see, there are these things called feelings that you have to have for someone in order to want to kiss them. And Hermione knew Malfoy didn't have them for her. Because if he did…well, it would probably fall under the category of "Signs of the Apocalypse". It was just inconceivable.
Hermione groaned. This was all way too confusing. She wished she had someone there to comfort her. She glanced at Crookshanks' empty basket. Now, where was he when she needed him?
She soon had her answer as she heard muffled yelling coming from down the hall.
The stupid cat had jumped up on the bed and now Draco was left standing by the door, swaying slightly, his face red with anger.
"Damn it, cat! Leave!" he shouted.
Crookshanks just hunkered down in the sheets further and swished his tail mischievously, purring like a lunatic.
"Get out!" yelled Draco. He was not going to put up with this cat's bullshit anymore. He knew if he didn't sit down soon, his legs were going to go out again. He needed his bed back, and now.
He wished he had his wand. He really, really did. But seeing as that wish was not going to come true anytime soon, he looked around for objects to throw. He was not going anywhere near the cat this time.
The only loose objects immediately at hand were the sandwiches on the chair and an empty bowl lying on the floor. The sandwiches were closer. Draco stumbled over to the chair, grabbed a sandwich—and chucked it at the cat. Crookshanks jumped back and hissed, but stayed on the bed.
"Damn you!" shouted Draco. Then the cat began sniffing interestedly at the sandwich. Draco had another idea. He picked up another sandwich from the tray, thinking to throw it out into the hallway for the cat to follow and possibly eat. He reared his arm back and threw it—but, unfortunately, the sandwich didn't make it into the hallway.
It hit Hermione Granger right in the face. Draco's stomach nearly jumped out of his mouth when he saw her standing there. She was growing redder and more livid by the second and she had a bit of lettuce stuck in her hair. Part of Draco wanted to laugh. Actually, a very big part of him wanted to laugh. Oh, wait. He was laughing.
That was probably the funniest damn thing he'd ever seen in his life. He hit Granger in the face with a sandwich! And he hadn't even meant to! And now she had lettuce in her hair!
She looked too angry to speak or even move. Draco was laughing too hard to speak or even move. Suffice it to say, there was no speaking or moving for several seconds.
Then Granger regained control of her tongue and spat, "You! You…hit me in the face!" The tone of her voice was bordering on hysteria.
She picked up the sandwich from the floor and threw it back at him. It flew past his head and hit the wall. That made Draco laugh even harder. She missed! She took several angry strides in his direction, her hands balled up in little fists at her sides, looking like she wanted to punch him in the face. Soon she was standing directly in front of him, trying to yank her wand out of her robes while still keeping her eyes locked on his.
As if he was just going to stand there and let her hex him! He grabbed her by the wrists (eyes still glinting with laughter) and used all the strength he had to keep her from reaching for her wand. It wasn't easy.
"Let me go!" she shrieked at him, struggling with all her might, trying to back away. He didn't let go. It would have been so easy to overpower her had he had his full strength, but this was a challenge. As she backed away, he had to follow, and his legs were wobbly at best.
But soon, luckily for Draco, she had herself backed against the wall. Her eyes widened as she felt it behind her back. She must have felt trapped, and indeed she was. Draco brought her wrists up above her head and pinned them to the wall. Her eyes were round and furious and her breathing was heavy. Draco could feel how fast her pulse was racing under the pale skin of her wrists. She was so close. If he just stepped forward just a little bit, their bodies would be—
And all of a sudden, that image popped up in his mind again. That one from the dream. That one where he and Granger were positioned very much like they were now, only they were horizontal, and on a bed, and not wearing any clothes.
The image sent a shockwave through every fiber of Draco's being. All the laughter drained from his eyes. He stepped back abruptly and dropped her wrists.
For a moment he couldn't even speak. But then, with a surprising amount of control, he said, "Take your cat and leave."
His tone left no room for argument. But, of course, this was Hermione Granger. With her, there was always room for argument.
She was still furious. "You have no right to just—handle me like this!" she shouted, probably referring also to the earlier incident, when he had pinned her to the bed.
"I have the right to do whatever I want with you," he said.
Silence.
Granger's eyes went very wide at that.
The phrase bounced heavily around the room with an unintended sexual connotation that was not lost on either of the two teens. No doubt both of their minds jumped to the same subject: the kiss that had almost occurred not half an hour earlier.
Suddenly Lupin appeared in the doorway, oblivious to the conversation he had just missed. "Have you eaten yet, Draco?" he asked. Then he spied the sandwich lying on the floor across the room and another being eaten by Crookshanks on the bed and the other ones lying abandoned on the tray…and then the piece of lettuce in Granger's hair.
"Did we…have a food fight?" he asked, an extremely rare twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
Granger cleared her throat. "Crookshanks just got a little bit…out of control," she said in a small voice. She walked over to the bed and grabbed the cat around its middle and hauled it into her arms. Then she walked out the door, not even sparing Draco a glance.
"It's highly advisable that you eat before taking the potion again," said Lupin as Draco collapsed onto the bed, not even caring if the older man saw his weakness.
"Dually noted," said Draco flatly.
"I'll have Hermione bring it up to you in a few minutes," said Lupin, turning to walk out the door. He paused for a moment, looking back at Draco. "And Draco…do try not to exert yourself so much. Your body needs time to heal."
Draco only raised his eyebrows as if to say, with Granger around, how can I NOT exert myself. It saps my energy just listening to her.
Lupin raised his eyebrows in return with a message that was unclear and walked out the door, closing it behind him.
Draco covered his face with his hands and let out a stifled groan, thinking about what just happened with Granger. Why had he said that?
I have the right to do whatever I want with you.
He was making advances on her without even meaning to. He had seen the look in her eyes; she had been thinking along the exact same lines as he was. He only wished he could have seen what went on inside her head afterwards. Was she even half as confused as he was?
I have the right to do whatever I want with you.
Hermione kept hearing that sentence in her mind over and over again, each time her stomach giving a little jolt. How could Malfoy affect her so strongly with such apparent ease?
And which god should she thank for sending in Professor Lupin at just the right time? If he hadn't popped in…well, Hermione didn't know what would have happened. It would definitely have gotten very awkward, very quickly. That much she knew.
And thanks to Crookshanks, the subject of THE-ALMOST-KISS had been completely bypassed due to Malfoy's fresh anger. Hermione was currently showing her gratitude by stroking Crookshanks' back.
"You have impeccable timing," she told the purring cat. "What would I do without you and Professor Lupin? Not that Harry and Ron are helping any…I wonder what they're up to now…"
She hadn't been able to spend much time with the two of them yet. Giving Crookshanks one final pat on the head, Hermione stood up and walked to the door. She poked her head out first and glanced down the hallway, making sure Malfoy's door wasn't open. She really didn't want to see him right now. Or ever again, really.
Then she walked down the hallway quietly and descended the stairs. As she made her way down the portrait-lined hallway towards the basement stairs, she began to hear quite a ruckus coming from the kitchen below.
Hermione descended the second flight of stairs more quickly, wondering what was going on. She heard the sound of a chair being knocked over and Tonks yelling, "Go Harry!"
Then the sight of Ron and Harry came into view, their wands drawn, their faces flushed, their mouths lit up with big goofy grins. They were dueling. And Tonks, apparently, sitting off to the side, was acting as their audience. Lupin had his back turned to the whole affair and was diligently stirring the contents of the cauldron over the fire.
"Take that!" yelled Ron, sending some silent curse towards Harry's gut. Harry dived out of the way and knocked over another chair.
"Ooh, close, Ron!" exclaimed Tonks. "But, err…the point of a silent spell is to, well, not let your opponent know that you're doing one. So when you yell, 'Take that,' it kind of defeats the pur—"
"Stupefy!" shouted Harry, sending a jet of red light towards Ron. Ron ducked and the spell hit the wall behind him.
Hermione was grinning, still standing on the stairs. She loved these two boys, her two best friends. And she loved brightly enthusiastic Tonks and quiet, uninterested Lupin. Life wasn't so bad in this house when these people were around.
Ron noticed her quite suddenly and gave her a lopsided grin. "Hermione!"
Harry looked up at her too. He said conversationally, "Hey, Hermione, I was just telling Ron…EXPELLIARMUS!"
Ron's wand flew out of his hand. His face fell. "That was low, Harry!"
Harry only laughed. "Harry…one, Ron…zero."
Ron's attention quickly shifted to more important matters, though. "What's that you've got in your hair?" he asked, walking towards Hermione. "Is that…lettuce?" he asked, plucking it out.
"Probably," Hermione muttered, remembering very clearly the sight of a sandwich flying towards her head.
"Well, that's…interesting…" said Ron, flicking it off of his finger.
"Let's go again," said Harry. "This time, silent spells only. I need more practice with them."
"You're right you do," said Ron, his attention immediately drawn back to dueling.
"When I say go!" said Tonks, and Harry and Ron took their stances.
"Hermione, could you come over here?" asked Lupin from the fireplace.
"GO!" yelled Tonks.
Hermione made her way over to Lupin, carefully avoiding both of the wand-happy boys.
"Yes?" she asked.
"This is done," said Lupin, his eyes still on the churning, bubbling liquid in the cauldron. He began ladling it into a goblet. "Take this to Draco. The dosage is exact. Make sure he drinks it all."
Hermione nodded and took the warm goblet in her hands, the white fog spilling over the sides onto the floor. She began walking carefully back towards the stairs. Harry nearly ran into her in his haste to get out of the way of whatever spell Ron had just aimed at him.
"Cease fire!" yelled Hermione. She wanted to take no chances with this potion. But Ron and Harry were far too absorbed in their game to even hear her, so she sped up her pace and got up the stairs as quickly as she could.
And then the nervousness gripped her stomach with the thought of, What's going to happen this time?
Because lately, Malfoy's room had become a place of unwanted feelings and strange urges. Like when he had her pinned against the wall; she had been spitting mad, but at the same time, she'd had the most sudden and potent urge to feel his body pressed against hers. Just one more step and she would have felt his closeness and warmth. The really strange part? She had been silently urging him to take that step. And she had gotten that weird churning feeling in her stomach again, just like before, when he was on top of her on the bed.
These were the real reasons she had gotten so angry. Malfoy made her feel things she did not want to feel, feelings that were just completely wrong.
As Hermione turned the doorknob to his room, she found herself once again wishing for a deadly stampede of horses.
Draco had just completed the task of eating. It certainly wasn't easy. He could barely get anything down. His throat felt like it was the size of his pinky finger. Or better yet, the size of Granger's pinky finger. She had really small fingers. Delicate fingers.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME! he raged at himself inwardly, falling back on the bed and clapping a hand over his eyes. Small, delicate fingers? What the fuck!
The doorknob turned and Draco sat up again. Enter said fingers, along with the rest of Hermione Granger. She was carrying a goblet filled with a potion that Draco recognized immediately by its smell and characteristic white fog. He was none too happy to see it, just like he was none too happy to see Granger. But then, she didn't look too pleased to see him either.
"Did you eat?" she asked.
"Yes," he said.
"Good." She held out the potion to him. He didn't move. "Take it," she said.
Slowly, his eyes locking onto hers, he reached up and took the potion from her hands. His fingers brushed hers in the process. He saw her glance down at their touching fingers and then clench her jaw. He smirked inwardly. At least he was having some sort of effect on her.
Outwardly, his face was as serious as the grave. He didn't immediately drink the potion. Instead, he kept staring at Granger.
"Drink it," she said, her voice challenging him. "Professor Lupin said all of it. Every last drop." And then as an afterthought, "If you can handle it."
He honestly didn't know if he could. The last time had been pure hell, like flames licking at his throat, burning their way down to his stomach. But he certainly couldn't let Granger know that. He could put up a front for her. He had to. In his mind, there was no choicebut to accepther challenge and win.
So he smirked at her, raised the goblet to his lips, tipped his head back and downed the hellish substance in three enormous gulps.
The pain was unbearable. It was so much worse than he remembered. The liquid fire trickled down his throat, into his chest, down to his stomach, slowly, agonizingly sending fine, sharp bolts of pain throughout his entire body. If he had looked down and seen his clothing on fire, he would not have been a bit surprised. The pain was everywhere. Merlin, he could feel it in his toes. Black and white spots began dancing before his eyes. He felt light-headed, dizzy.
And from the corner of his vision, he saw Granger standing there with her hands held over her mouth. Why was she doing that? Had something gone wrong? Shit!
Wait…no…her shoulders were shaking. Was she…was she giggling? Was she laughing at him? Could it possibly be? Did she have the gall—SHE WAS GIGGLING! THAT BITCH!
The fury that flowed swiftly and immediately through Draco's body cancelled out any pain he might have been feeling.
He jumped up faster than any person in his condition had a right to, grabbed Granger roughly by her shoulders, and shoved her backwards against the wall. He was furious. He wanted to slam her delicate body into the wall again, he wanted to punch her, he wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and choke her.
But more than anything—he suddenly wanted to kiss her. He wanted to crush those giggling rosy lips with his own and forcefully invade her mouth. He wanted her to taste just a fraction of the pain he was feeling.
He ran his hands roughly over her shoulders, all the way down her arms and grasped her hands in his, yanking them up above her head and pressing them to the wall. This scene was so familiar. But this time—he left no space between their bodies. She gasped and her eyes popped open wide as he pressed himself onto her.
He thought about kissing her. God, he thought about it. He thought about it until their mouths were so together that he could feel her panicked breaths tickling his lips. And he could have kissed her. Because strangely, she didn't move her head away. She could have twisted to the left or the right, but she didn't. If she was set on avoiding his kiss, that's what she would have done. But she didn't. She kept her face turned squarely towards his.
And that's why he didn't kiss her. Because she wanted it. He knew it. He could feel it. She was staring at his lips, just waiting for it to happen. And that scared him. It literally scared Draco Malfoy.
With an inward groan, he stepped away from her and said in a choked voice, "Get out now, before I—just get out."
She stared at him with eyes as large as dinner plates for a few deafeningly silent moments before literally running out the door. For once, apparently, she had nothing to say.
With a shuddering breath, Draco collapsed onto the bed, suddenly rememberinghow much pain he was in.
A/N: Now, I know what you're thinking, my duckies. "THEY SHOULD HAVE KISSED, HOW DARE YOU, YOU BITCH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST CUT IT OFF LIKE THAT, WHY DIDN'T THEY KISS!" Now, now…calm down. It's not time for that yet. Believe me. We've got SO many more feelingsto build up before that happens! Hehe, please don't hate me. Because I love you all so much and it would break my heart if you hated me.
Enough from me, the evil writer…go review, my lovely reviewers! You know the type of things I want to know…so go tell me! If you have any fears related to me screwing up the story, make them known. I will try to quell them. Or if you have any fears whatsoever…the dark…ghosts…clowns…three-legged cats…go ahead and tell me those too, I will try to comfort you. Also, if you want to tell me that I already HAVE screwed up the story, go ahead. OR if you just want to tell me how cool I am, that's allowed also! Actually, yeah, do that anyway. Okay review! See you in chapter 10!