"Dark Secrets"

Chapter 12

Magenta Skies

Grissom opened his eyes to a sense of panic. Where was he? He was no longer in the safe haven that was Sara's living room. He was no longer sleeping next to the woman he loves.

There was something in his hand, it was long and heavy, and he was beginning to not want to open his eyes.

Why could he hear muffled screams?

As he opened his eyes he nearly threw up at what he saw. Grissom was holding a knife over Sara who was tied up in a chair. Her limbs were tied up with rope, while her mouth was covered with duct tape.

He immediately dropped the knife. The part that scared him the most was the fear in her eyes. What had he done?

His whole body began to shake, as he dropped to the ground beside the knife. As he looked down at the weapon on the ground, he felt even more light headed.

There was blood on the knife and it wasn't Sara's. Despite the emotion of pain and horror on her face, she did not have a scratch on her.

He needed to get up off of his feet and free her! But why couldn't he move his legs? As he looked down once more, he saw blood stains on his pants. He was attacked? Or, did someone try to defend themselves.

"No, I could never do this. I had to have been setup. It wasn't me. I love her, she finally loves me. This can't be happening." Grissom realized that his thoughts were now being screamed aloud and began to worry even more for his sanity.

Grissom forced himself to get up and walk over to Sara. The closer he got, the more he realized that she wasn't wearing any clothes. The image was anything but appealing. He did this…? Impossible! Who ever hurt her was going to pay for the rest of their life.

When Grissom approached her, her whole body began to shake in fear. The sight made his heart lurch.

"I'm not going to hurt you- I'm going to help you." Grissom tried to sound as calm as possible, as he quickly ripped off the tape around her mouth. He was rewarded with a bite on his hand.

"You bastard." Sara swore. As she felt the tears stream down her face once more.

"Sara? Please tell me who did this…"

She merely continued to try to shield her body in response and Grissom noticed the gesture. As he left what appeared to be a bedroom and entered a living room, an over whelming sense of familiarity flooded his brain.

This was the cabin he was taken to for hypnosis. He didn't even know where he was, he never knew the location. As he stumbled into the living room, he grabbed a blanket and walked back into the bedroom unsure of what to do.

Grissom was in a state of shock; he should untie Sara and let her free. But if the real killer was around, he might kill them both if he did anything. She was safer where she was for now. He knew he didn't do this- he couldn't have.

Grissom gently put the blanket around Sara and earned nothing but a few spits in the face.

"Who did this to you Sara? What happened?"

"You fucking psycho! Why don't you just look in the, god damn, VCR?" Sara cried aloud, as her head fell helplessly to her sobs.

As his whole body shook in fear, he walked out to the living room and pushed "play" on the VCR.

The first image made his stomach turn.

Sara was undressing in her bedroom.

The image flickered to Sara walking to the supermarket with her son. There was no voice on the tape, only ambience, as the stalker watched Sara's everyday routines.

The next image was of Sara walking down the street at night. She seemed to get closer and closer to the camera until someone in black ran out and grabbed her.

Her screams were muffled by a man's hand, and then the picture turned to static.

As the next image faded in, Grissom felt himself grow further light headed.

Sara was tied to a bed naked, squirming to get free. She was trying to cry out but no one could hear her screams as the duct tape muffled her pleas.

The figure in black walked into frame, his back turned to the camera and approached Sara. As his hand slowly caressed her legs, Sara's muffled screams became louder.

Grissom couldn't take it anymore, he was just about to turn off the tape when he heard the attacker rip off Sara's tape. The noise caught his attention.

"Maybe she'll say something that will lead to the man's identity." Grissom forced himself to watch in horror.

As he watched the man remove his pants and boxers and loom ontop of Sara, one voice pushed bile up to his throat.

"Now when I have you, you must use my name. If you scream I will kill your husband and your son is that clear?"

"Please Grissom don't do this…" Sara cried.

"Oh my god." Grissom ran over to the VCR, and pushed stop. He let the sound of static linger in the air as he felt his stomach finally give out. As he threw up on the floor he took pleasure in the pain he was experiencing. It was not enough- he deserved far worse.

Nothing was real. Could this be happening? He was too insane now to tell fact from fiction. Did Sara even let him into her home?

His head spun, as he forced himself to go back to her. He needed to let her go, he didn't care what happened to him.

"I'm so sorry…I…"Grissom trembled.

"You're sorry?" Sara bitterly retorted as she struggled once more to free herself. "You weren't fucking sorry when you killed him, were you? Did you have to let me watch? Why me! He was my life! I don't even know you." Sara screamed once more, her voice echoing across the room.

"What man?" Grissom felt even more panic surge through his body at the prospect of something else he had done.

Sara merely pointed towards an adjoining bathroom, her hand shaking at the gesture. She wrapped the blanket around her tighter, in an attempt to shield herself from him. No amount of fabric could shield her from the pain she had already experienced. She could only hope it would soon be over.

As Grissom slowly walked into the fear of the unknown, he could only pray he hadn't done anything to further confirm his insanity. He already didn't deserve to live, that fact he knew. He should have listened to Catherine when she tried to help him. The doctor was right; he needed help, now he wished he would have taken their advice.

Grissom's hands slowly shook as he turned the bathroom door handle. He didn't want to know what he was capable of. He thought he was a decent man, who had a good set of values once upon a time. Now he knew he was a monster which had to be caged.

Once the door opened, Grissom dropped to the floor in fear. Sara's cries could still be heard as she shook even harder.

Max, Sara's husband was in the bathtub and all the life had been sucked of him. There appeared to be more than ten stab wounds to his chest, which made Grissom remember the knife which was in his hand when he woke up. The degree of arterial spray on the walls and ceiling indicated all or most of the wounds had occurred while the victim was still alive.

He did this, there was no killer to be found. The evidence never lied, and right now it was pointing a straight finger at Grissom.

Why? That was one question he kept on asking himself. He didn't deserve to live; he deserved much more than a lethal injection. He needed to suffer. As he continued to look at the body lifeless before him, images filled his brain.

He remembered.

"You don't deserve her! She was mine!" Grissom yelled as he stabbed Max in the chest. Sara's screams and pleas could be heard in the distance.

Grissom's eyes shot to Sara.

'Shut up! You don't love him anyways. It was me you have always wanted. Why can't you remember!" Grissom cursed at Sara, he wasn't even heart broken at the hundreds of tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Please just stop! I'll do anything you want, just stop." Sara begged.

"Oh my god…I did, do this" Grissom smothered his hands into his face as Sara watched him in disgust.

"When I get out of here I will kill you, make no mistake." Sara threatened.

"Good." Grissom whispered as he drew closer to Sara to untie her.

Another memory flashed into Grissom's mind-

Grissom forced Sara to have sex with him against her will, getting more and more turned on by her painful screams as her husband watched helplessly.

Max was tied and gagged in a chair in front of the bed, closing his eyes the entire time.

"You like that don't you?" Grissom laughed, at Sara.

"I deserve to suffer." Grissom's voice was barely audible as he untied one knot.

"Why? Why me?" Sara yelled as Grissom continued to pleasure himself against her.

"Because you were always mine!" Grissom grunted.

As Grissom untied the last restraint, he didn't even cry out when Sara jumped out at him and punched him in the stomach. The hit had taken all of the air out of his lungs as he struggled to breathe.

Grissom drove inside his car as the rain poured down. He was driving back from Ecklie's party…

Alone.

And then the truck hit his car and he flew out of the windshield.

Alone.

"Who will suffer now asshole?" Sara didn't think about her actions as she punched into Grissom with all of her strength. She was not in a proper state of mind, as her anger and bottled emotions were finally released. She knew he deserved to die; he had ruined her entire life for no particular reason.

Grissom allowed Sara to firmly plant her hands around his throat, as he felt everything around him grow quieter and darker. He didn't even bother to fight her, as he felt his life force slowly start to make its way out of his body. As he began to slip unconscious, a bang made Sara release her grip. She gripped the blanket firmly around her body once more as she waited to see if the noise would return.

A small rat scurried across the floor and ran into the next room.

Assuming it could have been the wind, or her imagination, she looked back to her task at hand. She couldn't do it now. Now he looked human. She should have finished him off while she was still able to stomach it.

Grissom woke up and immediately and felt sick once more. He wasn't dead, yet he should be.

"Kill me." Grissom merely demanded.

"You're a bastard, but I'll love seeing you suffer via lethal injection more." Sara gritted her teeth and tried to force herself not to take him up on his offer.

"Do it before I do something to someone else." Grissom begged.

"No." Sara combated.

Grissom rose off the floor, the action made Sara back away, and began to regret her decision. He walked over to the nightstand and picked up the knife, the action made her feel helpless once more. He surprised her by sliding it on the floor over to Sara.

The knife seemed to grin at Sara in response, making her feel even more tempted.

Grissom decided to entice her even though he felt sick doing so.

"How did it feel when I was taking you against your will? You want it to happen again? It could be arranged."

The statement pushed Sara off the edge once more, as she ran over to Grissom and plunged the knife deep within his chest. The pain was unimaginable.

She must have hit close to his heart, because with every faint beat he felt a gush of blood spill to the floor.

Sara couldn't watch.

She turned away in regret and relief, as she listened to Grissom, take his final breaths.

Once upon a time, they may have been happy together.

Once upon a time, they may have grown old together… but not in this universe.