Disclaimer is in chapter 1.
The school descended into a panic that didn't abate for the rest of the week when the news that Colin Creevy had too been found petrified, his omnipresent camera glued to his face and an expression of naked fear visible on what could be seen of his features. Xander didn't know the kid at all, he was a muggle born Gryff, which made him pretty much the last person in the school who would be seen with a snake, but even so he felt bad for the guy. Everyone said that being petrified was like going to sleep, but it still was going to seriously suck since the mandrake root needed to cure them was several weeks or more from being full grown.
At their weekly session with professor Hardy, however, more questions seemed to come up than were answered when Xander asked about the situation.
"They're waiting for what?" Hardy asked, blinking.
"The mandrakes are too young to mix the reversal potion," Xander said, frowning. "Couldn't they just call a magical hospital? There are some of those, right?"
"There are." Hardy nodded, frowning. "Someone is running around petrifying students?"
"Not someone." Wednesday corrected, "Something. A serpent."
The American professor raised an eyebrow, "A Basilisk? Surely not. You'd have seen deaths by now if you had one of those on the loose."
Wednesday glared at the table, "That has bothered me as well."
Xander shivered, "The lack of death is a good thing in my eye."
"Quite." Hardy just suppressed a shudder of his own.
Addamses were hard to deal with at the best of times. Their reactions to stress were legendary, however, and Hardy wanted nothing more than to get clear of the girl as soon as possible. He, however, had a responsibility to the two children in his care.
"No, it's not likely a basilisk." He said after a moment, "More likely you've got one of those death eater twits, or one of their kids, playing around with black magic."
Wednesday just shrugged.
"Still, I'll see what I can do. Read to chapter eight for our next session, please?" He said, nodding to the children. "Alright. Be on your way."
After the two had left, Hardy withdrew a small compact from his pocket and flipped it open.
"Salem Head Office." He said into the mirror.
The mirror buzzed, once and then twice, and then again and again for several moments. Finally it stopped and shimmered to show a tired looking face staring back out.
"Hardy? Do you know what time it is?"
"I'm at Hogwarts, Arthur." Hardy said curtly. "They've had an incident."
"Are the kids ok?"
"They're fine, but some local by the name of Creevy got himself petrified. Second incident this year." Hardy explained.
"Oh lord. Some idiot playing with potions?"
"Maybe. I was thinking one of their terrorist cells, maybe the kid of a member," Hardy admitted, "The Addams girl thinks it's a basilisk."
Arthur shuddered visibly in the small mirror. "Sweet Franklin, I hope not."
"I can't see it myself. You know how those things are, we'd be neck deep in bodies in a school this packed."
Arthur nodded, "You're right, but don't underestimate the girl. Those Addams, well if there's one thing they know it's dangerous magical creatures."
"I'll bear it in mind, in the meantime could you put in a call to the CMDC for me, see if they've got any reversal potion on ice?"
"I'll call them right away." Arthur promised, "Are you pulling the kids out?"
"Not yet. Like I said, it looks like it's those Death Muncher twits. Neither of our kids are targets for that sort of thing. Killing American wizards is a damned good way to bring the ICW into play, and they don't want that level of pressure on them anymore than the British ministry does."
"Agreed. Alright, keep a closer eye on Hogwarts for a while though. I'll get a hold of the CMDC right away."
"Thank you, Arthur."
The dean of the Salem Academy nodded curtly and the mirror flashed once before becoming a simple makeup mirror again. Hardy flipped it closed, then decided to speak with the headmaster before he took a portkey back to Durmstrang.
The time sped past, and after a couple weeks the worst of the tensions began to calm down again, though the underlying tension just continued to grow. Potions class was increasingly a trial as the Gryffindor contingent tightened ranks, such that Xander was rarely able to speak with Hermione now.
He locked down, just doing his own work and basically keeping his head down while occasionally regretting coming back. Wednesday was growing more and more distant, not that most people could tell. He could see it though, and was worried about her, but the word unreachable had been invented with Wednesday Addams in mind.
Xander worried and tried to talk to her, but she just ignored him most of the time, and glared at him like he was some insignificant insect the remaining times. Finally he just gave up, sitting next to her silently and just hoped that she would talk to him.
Christmas was approaching when one morning, during mail call, a large eagle winged into the Hall and zeroed in on Xander's position. It circled him once, dropped a letter, then left when it was sure Xander had picked it up.
"You got mail?" Draco sneered, "You never get mail."
Xander shot him a glare, then turned the envelope over and read the address. "Weird."
"What is it?"
Xander glanced over to where Daphne was leaning in his direction, obviously curious.
"I dunno." Xander shrugged, tearing it open.
He pulled the pages open and started to read, his eyes almost crossing as he tried to understand the wording. "Whoa. I thought you only saw this kind of writing in bad lawyer movies."
Daphne got curious and moved over to his side, "May I?"
"Huh? Sure." Xander passed her the first page while he turned to one that had been handwritten and began to read.
A moment later Daphne looked up, confused, "This says that it's an advance on royalty payments for a medical patent?"
Xander stared at her, "in MY name?"
Daphne nodded.
"Weird." Xander shuffled through the pages, then blinked as he located the receipt. He stared, blanking out until Daphne leaned over his shoulder.
"Oh. My. God." Daphne swallowed. "Is that real?"
"I don't know. It says it's a draft on a Gringotts of America account." Xander said, paled. "That's a LOT of zeroes."
"What did you invent!?"
"I don't KNOW!?"
The two of them tore through the papers, attracting attention from the rest of the table. Finally Daphne looked up, a page in her hand, frowning. "Xander... What is 'Viagra'?"
Xander frowned, "I have no clue."
"Here's the patent," Daphne said, handing it to him.
Xander took it, reading through it rapidly, actually growing more pale by the second until he matched Draco in color.
"I'm gonna KILL him."
"Xander?"
"I'm gonna KILL HIM!" Xander snarled, startling basically the entire hall.
"Who?" Daphne demanded, totally lost.
"My Uncle! He did this!"
"He invented Viagra?"
"No! He sold my formula!"
Daphne looked confused, "And stole your money, right?"
"No, he put that in my name..." Xander said, tearing through more pages.
Daphne looked around, a little lost. "Uh... What's the problem then?"
"Problem!? Problem!? The problem is..." Xander looked around suddenly stopping as he realized everyone was staring at him.
He rapidly turned red enough to match a Weasley's hair, swallowing as he stared around.
"Nothing." He whispered. "No problem."
"But..."
"No problem!" Xander exclaimed, grabbing all the pages and crumpling them to his chest. "There's no problem!"
The school watched as Xander scuttled back from the table and then bolted from the hall, clutching the papers to his chest as he ran.
Xander ran back to his room, barely able to breath, and slumped on his bed as he reread the patent application. He pulled out his potions book, flipping over to the failed experiments page, and his heart sank as he confirmed his worst fears. His Uncle, the man he trusted, had sold him out. Xander knew he'd never live this down, not when people found out what he'd invented. He didn't know much about sex, but he knew enough to know that this was gonna come back and bite him in the ass later.
It was a LOT of money, mind you.
Xander stared at the bank draft again, barely able to believe the zeroes after the one printed there. He checked again, confirming that it was indeed his name.
I'm gonna kill him.
Xander took a breath, shaking his head.
No. Death is too good for him.
I'm gonna *PRANK* him.
He had all year now to plan for it. But Sam WAS going to pay. Oh yes, he was going to pay.