It was a peaceful and beautiful day in Beach City when a screech filled the air, "Peridot!"

Peridot slammed through the door and her pole shaped into a hammer. "Who dares to hurt Connie?! Get ready to die!"

"Help me! Save me! HELP!" Connie yelled, leaping into a hug.

Suddenly, a blue and orange Connie ran around them, laughing.

"You're it!" Connie giggled, tagging Peridot.

"Connie, are you time traveling again?" Peridot huffed.

"No! It's Connie Tag!" Lapis smiled in her shapeshifted form. "The rules are when Connie tags us, we turn into Connie."

"It's the rules." Jasper smirked.

"That's… That's a stupid game." Peridot growled.

"Okay." Connie laughed.

"Sooooo, that means we're out of players. Get ready for Connie Tag Advance!" Lapis yelled, trying to tag Jasper. Jasper grabbed the woman's wrist and threw up into the air. Jasper leapt up and slammed Lapis down to ground. "TAG!"

"Ha, she is pathetic." Jasper chuckled.

That day, Connie skipped on the beach. "I guess I can't win every game of Connie Tag, even though it's my name, it's not my game!" She sang.

"STOP!" A voice yelled.

Connie nearly fell over and peered over a rock. She saw a teenager that she thought she recognized. "Hi? You're Ronaldo, aren't you?"

"This is a restricted zone!" The teen huffed, ignoring her question. "Only those with special clearance may enter!"

"May, I have special clearance?" Connie peeped.

"Hm…" Ronaldo looked at her up and down. "granted."

Connie looked at the plastic on her hands then saw Ronaldo rummaging through his bag.

"Now that you're properly suited, let's investigate!" The teen said, giving her binoculars. "See those holes? Their shape and pattern is repeated over and over. Some might say it's a coincidence. I say there's something... more."

"More than one coincidence?" Connie gasped.

"You'd already be in the know if you followed my blog, "Keep Beach City Weird" Ronaldo showed her his phone. "I document all the weird thing that happen in Beach City! You can't always trust facts and books. I'm out here hunting the TRUTH!"
Connie frowned. "I… trust books and facts."

"Oh, there you are!" They turned to see Connie's friend, Peedee, also Ronaldo's brother. "Dad wants you back at the shop! You're missing out on valuable frying time!"

"It's WEIRD time, Peedee! I'm doing big stuff! COVER for me!" Ronaldo yelled. Connie watched Peedee walk away saying, "Fine. But this is the last time, or I'm telling Dad."

Ronaldo turned to his apprentice and smiled, "You ready to get your hands really dirty?" Connie nodded, taking the bags off her hands. "Follow me."

"Coming!" Connie laughed.

"I can't wait to find some magic stuff! It's like we're heros in some kind of book!" Connie cried, skipping beside Ronaldo.

"Shh! I'm picking up a quantum flux on the weirdometer. There." Connie looked at some jagged red rocks and gasped.

"Did they fall from the sky?" Connie asked.

"My research suggests, they grew up from the ground." Ronaldo said.

Later, Connie ran to a garbage can outside the bookstore. "Ronaldo! Look at this!" She cried. The can was covered in yellow flowers that seemed familiar.

"According to an online encyclopedia in which I am a user, slash editor of, this species isn't indigenous to this region... or this dimension!" Connie thought she might've misheard the teen but he seemed to make his own echos after the
last word.

"We live in a strange world, Connie." Ronaldo said at Beach City Fries. "Stranger than most know, stranger than they care to know. Take my brother for instance," Connie glanced at Peedee to see him working. "He's always
getting on my case, telling me to work more. He'll never understand, but Connie, I can tell you're like me." Connie gave a tiny smile at his words.

Ronaldo smirked and got up. He walked away and whispered, "You're someone I can trust…." Connie felt chills go down her spine.

"You're ready for what I have found," Ronaldo said, opening the door to the top of the lighthouse. "The cause of Beach City's paranormal activity."

"Wait, what? You have a cause for this?" Connie asked.

"Welcome to my office, go that way." Ronaldo pointed to a board. Connie saw pictures and newspaper clippings. "Welcome... to the truth!"

Connie saw a sign that said in large letters, Snake People.

"...Snake… People?" Connie whispered.

"Snake People, or "sneople", control our government at the highest levels! Look!" Ronaldo thrust a dollar in her face, which looked very doubtful.

"Are you… certain?" Connie gasped. "I mean, I've read many books and facts, and…"

"Hush! You know how I feel about books!" Ronaldo yelled. "The snake represents their hold on our country. The diamond represents their underground mines, or their sharp teeth... the details aren't important. They pit us mammals against
each other with elections, sports, and anime message boards. We spend so much time fighting over "dubs" or "subs" that we miss the big picture!"

"And… what is that?" Connie asked.

"That the world is under their control." Ronaldo whispered.

Connie entered the house. "Guys? My friend thinks Snake People are real…"

Peridot and Lapis stared at her for a moment.

"Snake people?" Lapis laughed.

"He thinks these are clues left behind by them, but I feel like I recognize these from somewhere…" Connie whispered, showing the pictures she had taken on her phone.

"That must be from when we fought those drill parasites on the beach, those clods that you and Steven found?" Peridot asked.

"Oh. Well, what about this? I remember this from somewhere too." Connie said, swiping to the picture of the rocks.

"That looks like pieces of that Red Eye we destroyed." Lapis said.

"And these?"

"Oh! Those are flowers from Yellow's moss!" Peridot squealed. She and Lapis smiled softly.

"Is all the weird stuff that happens in Beach City because of us?" Connie asked. "I didn't want to think that was true."

"Connie, how can we not be making all of this?" Peridot chuckled.

"I need some air." Connie sighed, going outside.

The girl soon saw Ronaldo on the beach. She ran over and whispered, "Ronaldo?"

"Did you see this crater? I think the snake people might have left it as a sign." Ronaldo said

"About that…" Connie bit her lip.

"Yes, Connie?" Ronaldo asked, his eyes shining.

"Are you sure about snake people?"

"Connie… are you having doubts?" Ronaldo gasped.

"Not just doubts." Connie sighed. "I found out that those weird holes in the cliff were just something me and the Temps did."

"Well, okay, but those red rocks…"

"That was us…"

"But, the flowers…"

"Us too."

"But, but the truth!" Ronoldo cried.

"Maybe the truth just isn't what you thought it was." Connie sighed.

"Sure it is! Don't get hung up on these minor facts. Truth is about more than that, truth is a feeling in your gut that you know is true! Truth is searching for anything that proves you're right no matter how small, and holding on to that,
no matter what." Ronaldo whispered.

"That kinda sounds like the opposite of truth." Connie muttered.

"Look! The proof! This cast will show the true face of this conspiracy." Ronaldo said, picking up a cast. It looked just like Connie.

"That's probably from Connie Tag." Connie explained.

"What?!" Ronaldo gasped.

"It's a game where, when I tag one of the Temps, they-"

Ronaldo stopped her. "I'm really not at the center of anything... I'm nothing." Connie watched him walk away, the cast crumbling…

Later that day, Connie sat with her computer, seeing Ronaldo's blog was shutting down.

"You're upset about something?" Peridot asked.

"Peri, I think I broke Ronaldo's heart." Connie sighed.

"How did you break it?! Where's his body?!" Peridot screeched.

"I mean, he doesn't believe anymore!"

"Well, let me tell you something. Humans just lead short, boring, insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight,
instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control." Peridot smiled.

"It's sad." Lapis said behind her.

"Don't feel bad about it, okay? It's not like he was ever going to be right." The green gem chuckled, leaving to work on her gadgets while Lapis cleaned the dishes. Connie looked at a coin and saw a coiled snake. She immediately got up
and walked to the door.

"Connie, where are you going?" Lapis asked.

"I'm going to fix Ronaldo!"

At the fry shop, Peedee was peeling potatos in the back and saw Ronaldo taking out the trash.

"Yo, Ronaldo!" His brother remained silent. "Ehhh, so... see anything weird lately?"

"No, everything's... normal." Ronaldo sighed. They heard a noise and turned.

Connie had disguised herself as a snake person. "Um… roar! Snake people are real, and we're puppeting the government!"

Peedee gave a squeal of fear but Ronaldo laughed hysterically. He grabbed a potato, and before Connie could flee, knocked her out.

Connie gave a groan as she awoke, seeing she was tied to a chair and duct tape was put on her mouth.

"Well, well, well, looks like some snake's awake!" Ronaldo chuckled. He went up and shone a flashlight in her eyes, examining them. "Wave forms seem typical for a twelfth dimensional being of this size. Arms appear to be, vestigial."

Connie saw Peedee cowering behind his brother.

"U-uh, Ronaldo? Is that, uh, one of the monster people you've been hunting?" He squeaked.

"No no, not "monster" Peedee, snerson. It's very scientific! But still, better safe than sorry." The teen gave him a potato.

"What's this for?" Peedee asked.

"For me! In case the amphibanoids turn my body into a host vessel!"

"No!" The boy sobbed, dropping the potato.

"Peedee, Peedee, Peedee. You gotta look at the big picture here! Something important is finally happening to me!" The teen cried to his brother while Connie struggled behind him.

Suddenly, the exterior wall smashed open and the Crystal Temps were there, fully armed.

"You…." Jasper hissed. Lapis grabbed her before she could do anything rash.

"We know you have our Connie!" Peridot yelled. Lapis grabbed her as well.

"Give her back now before I make you." Lapis growled, venom in her voice.

"You, snake people…" Ronaldo retorted. "Hiding like cowards in your false humanoid exteriors! Connie's got nothing to do with this, it's me you want!" He opened his shirt to reveal armor. Lapis was quick to hit him with a slap
of water.

He fell back in pain but was quick to get up. He attempted to knock over Peridot, but she quickly slid under him and pounced on top of him.

"YOU SNONSTER!" He yelled. Jasper put Peridot aside and lifted Ronaldo up. She punched him into the wall.

They didn't notice Connie still struggling. She wiggled herself free and was in only the pants and her green undershirt.

"Connie?!" Peedee gasped as she ran past him.

"Okay, okay. You've forced me to use my ultimate weapon! Stand back! Psychic Ghost Powers, Activate!" Rondo yelled. He started to chant gibberish and the gems readied their weapons. Connie suddenly slid in front of him.

"Everybody stop! I'm okay!" Connie cried.

"Nice pants, kiddo." Jasper smirked while Lapis held back a laugh.

"Connie, your legs! When did they get to you?" Ronaldo gasped.

"Ronaldo! It's not real!" Connie cried, throwing down the costume. "It was just me, again."

"That, makes no sense…" Ronaldo whispered, looking at the costume.

"I just wanted to inspire Ronaldo to be weird again." Connie sighed to the gems.

"No! It— It just isn't that simple! There's got to be more to it than just, you." Connie and the rest of the Temps looked away in embarrassment.

"But there is more!" Peedee suddenly said, grabbing up papers. "Connie is just uh... uh... a small piece of the puzzle! Look at this! I think its gotta be uh, level 8 beings pulling the strings."

Connie watched Ronaldo take the paper.

"Get real, Peedee." The boy looked heartbroken when suddenly, Ronaldo contuied to talk. "Level 8 beings are a worker society incapable of such organization...whoa, wait a minute!" He gasped, dropping the papers. "How did
I never see this before?" He whispered. He started to crawl on the ground, piecing it all together. "I know what the diamond means... Polymorphic sentient rocks!"

While laughing, he didn't see Connie and Peedee gently close the door.

"Are you sure he'll be better like that?" The girl whispered.

"Yeah, he's happy, ya know?" Peedee smiled.

Connie nodded.

The Temps exited with Connie on Lapis's shoulders, flying alongside everyone. Ronaldo suddenly came out to the balcony.

"They're here to hollow out the Earth! It's part of the Great Diamond Authority! They'll take on any form, you can read all about it... ON MY BLOOOG!"