Disclaimer is in chapter 1.

The school looked majestic as they approached, the fresh snow coating it from tower to cornerstone, with lights dancing off the powdered white. Xander had donned his Slytherin robes, but underneath he was packing all the layers he could muster as he felt like he was freezing his appendages off with each passing moment.

"Stupid snow." He said through chattering teeth, "I'm a Cali boy for crying out loud. This just sucks."

Wednesday rolled her eyes and casually waved her wand at him, casting a warming charm.

"Ahhh..." Xander moaned, "That's so good. How'd you do that?"

"I'll show you later." She said, shaking her head.

"Thanks."

As the two approached the castle they saw Harry and Ronald coming in their direction from inside. Xander nodded coolly to the Gryffindors as they paused.

"I just wanted to give you this." Ron said, shoving his broken wand at Xander.

Xander accepted it with a nod, "thanks. You have a good match with your new one?"

Ron nodded, actually smiling in the company of a 'snake', "Oh yeah. It's fantastic, nothing like the old one."

"Good. Then there'll be no more accidents." Xander said pointedly.

Ron reddened, but nodded, "No more accidents."

The redhead turned away, but Harry paused for a moment then looked back at Xander.

"Thanks, mate. He really needed that wand."

"I don't give damn what he needed, Harry. Hermione is my friend and Ron was a menace with this thing," Xander said, holding up the wobbly wand. "Safest place in the school was wherever he was trying to curse. Worse, he's got a temper and tends to go for his wand first. You and Hermione were going to get hurt sooner or later."

Harry just shrugged, "Ron wouldn't hurt us."

"Right. I'm sure he's a great guy, but I wouldn't want Jesus Christ himself at my side if he had a backfiring gun and an itchy trigger finger." Xander returned dryly. "Friends like that do your enemies job for them."

Harry hesitated, "I'll talk to him."

"That would be my advice, dude. Remember, he's got a new wand so no excuses. He hurts Hermione or Wednesday, and I'm gunning for a lion pelt." Xander promised.

Harry nodded and followed his friend as Wednesday stared at Xander evenly.

"What?"

"I am quite capable of looking after myself."

Xander smirked, "I know it, but sometimes it takes an outsider to make people see things that should be fixed."

The Addams scion stared for a moment longer, then nodded curtly and the two proceeded into the warmer environs of Hogwarts as they prepared for the winter term.

After getting settled in, his new trunk replacing the old with all his belongings stashed inside it, Xander headed out of the Slytherin dorms and into the school, just getting used to being in the castle again. Unsurprisingly he found himself in the library, and smiled when he spotted Hermione at their normal table with a stack of books practically hiding her from sight.

"Hey Herms," he said, dropping into the seat across from her, "How was the holidays."

She looked at little frazzled as she looked up at him, but she quickly smiled, "Xander! God, it's good to see you. Is Wednesday back too?"

Xander nodded, idly plucking a book from the stacks and checking it out. "Petrifications? Doing some research into the 'incidents'?"

Hermione nodded, sighing, "There are just so many possibilities, but they're so obscure! It's taking forever to rule each one out."

Xander grunted, flipping through the book. "Our professor from Salem seemed to think that it was probably one of the kids of the terrorist twits you guys had here fifteen years ago."

"Ron and Harry thought it was Draco," Hermione whispered, leaning forward slightly.

Xander laughed sharply enough to get hissed at by Madam Pince, he winced but shook his head.

"No way, Draco couldn't keep a secret if his life was on the line." Xander said, still chuckling. "If he'd been doing it the only mystery would be why he hadn't been caught yet."

Hermione giggled slightly, "That's pretty much what we figured out."

Xander eyed her carefully for a moment, then shrugged, deciding that she'd tell him if she wanted to. "Anyway, Wednesday says it's a snake."

Hermione's head shot up, "A snake?"

"Yeah, like a Basalip or something." Xander shrugged.

"A Basilisk." Hermione hissed tightly, eyes wide, "I think that would do it."

"She and the Professor said that there should be deaths, though, if it's a Basilisk." Xander said, "Anyway, don't know anything about them."

"I think I have a book here somewhere... oh drat, where could it be?"

Xander smirked slightly, shaking his head. "Let me know if you need any help."

"What? Oh, right. Sure..."

Xander chuckled softly and pulled out the grimoire and laid it out on the table in front of him, he had come up with a few thoughts for one of his ideas and wanted to do some checking.

The term started off smoothly, thankfully, with no more accidents. The winter was still making it difficult to cultivate the mandrake required for the restoratives that the victims would need, which was seriously of the bad, but beyond that things slid back into a routine.

Draco was still pouncing around like he owned the castle, and pretty much everyone else was still ignoring him. Xander had happened on him terrorizing the first years a few times, especially those muggle-born and mixed bloods who had the misfortune of being sent to Slytherin, but had managed to deflect him each time with little effort.

For some reason Draco seemed unwilling to get into any debates with Xander, and had apparently also decided that violence wouldn't be useful either. That surprised Xander, to be sure, but he figured he'd take what he was given and be happy for it.

He never noticed the relieved looks on the first years face when he would walk into the common room, or the fact that many of them tended to choose to study wherever he was spending his time. It was something that didn't go unnoticed by everyone, however.

"Is Harris building a cabal?"

Daphne Greengrass shook her head as she glanced across the room to where Xander Harris was reading the same book he always seemed to have in his hands. She turned her focus back to her friend, Tracy Davis, "No. I don't think so at any rate. Believe it or not, as far as I can tell he honestly doesn't notice."

"But look at them." Tracy said, nodding to the group of first and second years who were arrayed around Harris.

"I know, but honestly, he's a bit thick." Daphne said, delivering her considered opinion. "I don't know what the hat saw in him, but it wasn't ambition. Or if it was, it was buried under so much cunning that he's just a brilliant sneak."

"This IS Slytherin."

"You don't really think that a twelve year old is that good, do you?"

"I suppose not," Tracy conceded, then scowled, "But it a whole lot nicer to consider than that he's bumbling around like an idiot and doing by accident what we're all trying to do on purpose."

Daphne chuckled, "It's possible, I guess, that stunt he pulled at the start of the year was brilliant."

"How did he pull that off anyway?" Tracy demanded, "The only people who know, or claim to know, are Jacobs, Harrow, and Draco... and the first two aren't talking while I don't believe a word Draco says."

Daphne closed her mouth, her eyes moving away.

"You know!" Tracy hissed, leaning in.

"It's actually kind of obvious once you know the answer," Daphne said softly. "They didn't do anything much, just redirected the Twins pranks away from our table."

Tracy stared, blinking. "That's it?"

Daphne nodded.

"But... but, that's so simple!"

"Shhh!" Daphne shut her up. "And yes, it was. Which is why no one figured it out."

Tracy leaned back, eyes falling over to Xander, "So is he some sort of genius, or the living embodiment of Occam's Razor?"

Daphne frowned, "What?"

"It's a philosophy thing," Tracy told her, "basically it says that if you have two answers that are equally likely to be true, you're best choosing the simpler of the two until more evidence is available."

"Well Xander certainly is the simpler of the two," Daphne snarked as she nodded from Xander over to where Draco was holding court at the far end of the room.

The room quieted for a moment as the boys looked nervously over at the two witches as they broke down in uncontrollable giggles.

Valentine's Day arrived in the castle, much to the delight and disgust of the school. Delight and disgust because Professor Lockhart took it upon himself to cheer things up and turned the entire place into a nightmare from the most twisted minds at Hallmark. Lurid pink was the color of the day, with actual dwarfs running around singing poems and generally embarrassing the hell out of half the school while the other half laughed.

Xander watched in mild amusement as Harry was the recipient of a particularly horrid piece of writing, then felt something of a chill as one of the Dwarfs cleared his throat from the Ravenclaw table and attracted the attentions of many in the hall.

It had stopped right in front of Wednesday, and was preparing to read from the paper in its hands when she interrupted it.

"Life is short enough," She said coldly, "Must you really hasten the approach of the spectral hand of death?"

The cupid costumed dwarf swallowed hard and shook his head, ripping up the paper in his hand. He turned to Lockhart, "I quit!"

Xander smirked, then exchanged a curious glance with Wednesday. She arced and eyebrow at him, which he interpreted to mean 'did you send that?'. He shook his head slightly, twisting his head slightly and exposing his neck.

She nodded, receiving his message loud and clear.

'Of course not. Do I look like I want my throat slit?'