A/N: It's been exactly 1 year since the debut of Swami (or it would have been had the stupid site not gone down, so I'M REALLY REALLY FRUSTRATED about that, even if it's not my fault. It broke the tradition and that makes me sad :( ), and now (though I never planned this to be a year to the day (AGAIN GRRR)) Travis's secret is finally ready to be revealed. This is a sad chapter, I should tell you, but very enlightening. It's hard to believe that for an entire year I've been coming home the prospect of new reviews and chapter ideas, and it's even harder to believe that some of you have remained my faithful reviews since the very beginning. For that I thank all of you deeply, and for all my readers that have never reviewed I thank you too. Thanks for sticking by me in all the hard times, you guys make this all worth while. Thanks to my reviewers Gutter and Grace, jhhhhjfjk89, and Criminal Insanity.

P.S. I leave in the morning for my mission trip, wish me luck and I hope to read reviews when I'm back Thursday (151 is not enough, we need 20000!)

Part 41: A Small Letter F

A few minutes after Parker left Lily finally noticed a car coming up the block. She looked down at her watch, mentally noting the time, 7:09. She looked toward Travis's front door and saw a woman, looking to be in her mid 30s, walking toward it. Anneke came bouncing out of the house and happily hugged the woman. Travis followed closely behind, smiling…

From where she was, Lily managed to catch most of their conversation.

"I hope she wasn't any trouble," The woman said.

"Anneke, you must be talking about some other child," Travis assured her.

"Mr. T and I had lots of fun, mommy!" Anneke joyfully agreed.

The woman smiled and pulled a small wad of cash out of her purse. She handed it to Travis and he took it without a second thought.

"Bye, bye Mr. T." Anneke waved as she and her mother set off toward the car.

"Bye Anneke," Travis returned a wave of his own.

The child turned to her mother, "Mommy, can Mr. T baby sit me again?"

The woman smiled, "Of course Anneke."

Travis frowned as they drove away. Something about him changed.

"It's Wednesday," He sighed softly.

That single statement greatly confused Lily. What had he meant? Travis stood there for a few minutes and then turned and headed back into his house. Lily frowned, how long would she have to wait now? However, her question was answered a few minutes later when he burst out of the house once again and walked down the street.

Lily looked at her watch again, 'And so I began following Travis at 7:22.'

In silence and mustering as much courage as she could, Lily followed. As often as she could without losing track of Travis she hid behind a tree or a bush or a building.

As they entered a familiar part of town, Lily found herself wondering 'Why is he going to the underground?'

But they missed a very key turn, and suddenly she realized they weren't going to the underground. She rarely went this way and honestly had no clue where Travis was going. In the distance she heard a faint, what she thought was, quack of a duck.

'There's a duck pond near Roscoe?'

She lost her concentration as she pondered the thought, and when she looked up there was no sign of Travis. Panicking, she walked forward until down a small street on her left she once again saw Travis. Her heart pounded in her chest. He was slowing down; they must be getting close. And then she saw the duck pond. She hid behind a tall bush and watched. Travis knelt down on the edge of the pond and put a small paper doll into the water. He watched it float away toward the center of the pond, and then, having absorbed too much water, slowly it sank to the bottom.

Lily stared in shock as for the first time in all the months she'd known him, Travis began to cry. In her state of shock she didn't notice the envelope slipping from her grasp until it was too late. It fell to the floor crunching the ground bellow it. Travis looked around having heard the noise. Having not seen anyone most people would shrug and go back to what they were doing, but Travis wasn't most people. And he saw through the bushes a small figure trying desperately to gather the papers.

Realizing defeat, Lily stood up and walked toward him sheepishly.

"Hey, Travis."

"Lily, what are you doing here?" He asked in shock.

She gulped, "I…nothing."

"Lily," He stated sternly.

And then he noticed the envelope. His eyes went wide with recognition.

"What are you doing with Kim's letter to Robbie?" He asked.

She stared down at the paper, "Travis," She said, "This isn't a letter to Robbie, is it? It's something more isn't it?"

Fear was apparent in his eyes.

"You used to go to that school in Paris, didn't you?" She asked skeptically.

Giving no more of a fight he admitted, "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell us? You told us about China, you told us about tons of other countries! Why didn't you tell us about Paris?" She asked trying desperately to meet his eyes, but he turned away.

"I couldn't," He said simply.

"Why couldn't you?" She asked, but then something caught her eye. In the corner of the paper was printed a small letter F, and something inside her brain clicked. She looked up at him, "Who…who was she?"

"What?" He asked in a panicky voice.

"Who was she?" Lily repeated softly.

"I don't know who you're talking about," He lied unconvincingly.

Lily looked at him, "Travis, please tell me."

No answer.

Lily burst out crying, "Travis, please."

Travis thought a moment and then with a new found strength replied, "She was my sister."

For the first time their eyes met, and without speaking Lily begged him to go on.

Travis swallowed, "Her name was Brianna."

An eerie silence filled the distance between them until he spoke again.

"We lived in Paris for a little less than a year. I was 8, and she was 6. She was always copying me. I was her idol I guess." He snickered at the thought, and then suddenly reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the picture. He handed it to Lily, and she finally understood who was in the picture.

"I loved her. About the only difference between us was that she liked dolls and I didn't. And one day she and I went to the river to play. I went swimming and she sat on the bank playing with her dolls. But then something happened. I went under the water and when I came up she wasn't there anymore. We both knew she couldn't swim, and she wasn't careless enough to try. But she had decided to take one of her dolls for a swim, and as she knelt on the edge dangling her doll in the water she fell in."

Lily put her hand on his shoulder, she hadn't expected this. "I'm sorry."

He mustered a small smile, "You didn't know. It was a long time ago. Just like Ray…"

"What do you mean?" She asked in concern.

"Brianna always called me Swami," He explained softly.

Tears welled in Lily's eyes, "I'm so sorry Travis."

He smiled, "It's fine."

"No, Travis," She offered, "I don't care what people say; time doesn't heal all wounds."

They looked at each other, silently.

"Lily?" He asked after a few moments.

"What?" She asked.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For being my friend."