Matchmaker Moony

Chapter One

How to get them together?

A/N: Hiya peoples! This is my third fanfic, so I hope you guys like it okay. If you don't like it, you can go read my other two: Her Little Bundle of Joy (one-shot) and The Marauders Premarauders (a work in progress, has 8 chappies) Please Read and Review!

Summary: James and Lily are always fighting and their friends are getting tired of it. How far will they go to get them together? Remus's POV. A lot of over-analyzing! Please R&R. I f you read and review, I'll read and review yours!

Disclaimer: If I were JK Rowling, do you really think I would be sitting here right now writing for FanFiction?

Remus's POV

They're at it again. Arguing, quarreling, fighting, bickering. Call it what you may, but I call it a pain in the arse.

"POTTER! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Yes, that would be Lily. She actually has a very loud voice.

"WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T STALKING ME, THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM!"

Ah, yes, and now James enters the picture. Lovely boy.

"HA! ME STALKING YOU? DON'T YOU MEAN YOU'RE STALKING ME?" Lily screamed.

James appeared to have cooled down, "C'mon, Evans, you know you love me," he said with a very confident smile.

Lily smiled. Wait, she smiled. That's a bit odd.

"Oh, yes, James," she purred seductively, "I really do love you. Kiss me."

Okay, now this is what some would call an awkward moment, for me at least.

After the shock of what Lily had said, James puckered his lips expectantly. Lily strode up to him and slapped him upside the face and stalked off. Ouch.

"Tough luck, James," I said getting up from the chair I was sitting in, "That looks painful,"

James massaged the red handprint on his face. Enter Sirius.

"Prongs, will you and Evans stop quarreling-(I rolled my eyes. Sirius seemed very proud of his 'sophisticated' vocabulary)-some people are trying to sleep."

"Padfoot, its half past three. I really think that no one is trying to sleep," I said, sounding smart as always.

"Well, who exactly do you consider no one?"Sirius made and indignant huff and stomped back up the Dormitory stairs.

James got up and left to go down to the kitchens, leaving me alone to think.

I could tell there was indeed something happening between our Prongsie and Lily, even though they would rather be attacked by 362 nifflers while wearing outfits made of anything sparkly than admit it. Suddenly, Sirius came bounding down the stairs, making much more racket than James and Lily when they were arguing.

"Where'd Prongs go?" Sirius asked.

"Kitchen," I said, pointing towards the portrait hole.

Once Sirius was gone, I was free to ponder ways to get James and Lily together. Here's

the list I had made so far: lock them together in a small, enclosed space for a long period

of time (i.e., broom closet, small box, dungeon, etc.), love potion (bad idea, it illegal in

Hogwarts. But then again, when have little things like laws stopped the Marauders?),

spike some punch or pumpkin juice and play a rousing game of truth or dare (actually,

not a bad idea…) hmm, I'll think of more.

Sirius came back looking a little flustered, but he smoothed back his ebony hair.

"Hey, Pads. Come here," I said, beckoning him, "I have an idea…"

I told Sirius about my ideas for getting Lily and James together. At first he looked shocked.

"MOONY!" he said, "I had no idea you had such a scheming mind! I think I'll have to call you…Matchmaker Moony!"

"Please don't," I said, glaring at Padfoot.

"Right-o!" Sirius said, taking the hint from my glare, "I think we should try the truth or dare idea, it'll be more fun for us. But where to get the fire whiskey….?

"Hogsmeade," I said immediately.

"Ah, yes, Hogsmeade. Well, we're going to need to borrow James's Invisibility cloak, aren't we?" Sirius said, eyes glinting.

As you may find, when I say borrow, I usually ask permission of the owner before taking it. Not so with Sirius. He tells me you can 'borrow' anything from anyone without asking as long as you return it before it's missed. Sirius sure has some messed up morals.

Sirius and I left the portrait hole and walked towards the statue of the one-eyed witch. Throwing the cloak over us, Sirius opened the witch's hump. Was it just me, or does this cloak get smaller every year?

"Ugh, Sirius!" I hissed, "Stop going so bloody fast, I'm going to hit my hea-OW!" as a protruding rock collided with my skull.

"Oh stop whining Moony! You want this to work, don't you?"

Feeling the swelling bump on my head, I wasn't quite sure about my plan.

After about a half an hour, though felt more like half a century, we emerged through the trapdoor in Honeyduke's cellar. We climbed out and hurried up the stairs, trying to make as little noise as we could.

Once out of the shop, Sirius took the cloak off us and I felt the goose egg growing on my forehead.

"Okay Moony, we have a few ways to go about this:

We could ask any random old guy to go buy so whisky for us.

I could go in as a dog and steal it and hope no one notices

I could go in under the Invisibility Cloak and swipe it

Or we could go try to buy it ourselves and hope they don't catch us."

I considered all of these options, and decided Sirius should go in as a dog.

"Hmm," I said, "I think you should transform into a dog an-" but Sirius cut me off.

"Ask a random old guy? Okay!" and he dragged over to where a very old looking wizard was sitting.

"Hey old guy!" Sirius said, waving his arms in front of the old dude's face.

"Martha!" said the old man, throwing his arms around Sirius.

"Um, I'm not Mar-" but I elbowed him in the stomach and he put on a high-pitched girl voice.

"Oh, honey! So good to see you!" Sirius cried. It was really quite convincing. I'm impressed.

"Oh, Martha!" the old man cried, finally letting go of Sirius, "Is there anything I can get, to make up for lost times?"

"Well, um," Sirius giggled. Its almost scary how good he is at being a girl. Makes you wonder……

"..um, well, I could use a bottle of firewhisky, but that's okay if-"

Before Sirius could finish, the old guy was back with a large bottle in his hands. Sirius looked amazed at how fast the old guy could run.

"Well, erm, it's been great seeing you, but I really must dash…."

Sirius and I ran back to Honeyduke's and laughed our heads off the entire way back to the castle.

"My god Padfoot, you're really good at being a girl! Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

Sirius whacked me on my head, hitting the precise place where the rock had done its damage earlier. Ow.

We got back to the common room a while later. Upon entering, Sirius exclaimed:

"Who wants to play TRUTH or DARE!"

A/N: Okay, I finished that one, not too long, but whatever! I hope y'all liked it okay! If so, leave a review by pushing that button that says GO. If not, leave me alone and go flame someone else!

Toodals!

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