There was a filming of Beach City. "Beach City," The eldest son of the Fryman family narrated, "a sleepy seaside town. From far away, it looks ordinary, but take a closer look, and you'll start to notice the cracks in the facade…"
The town crackled in the film.
Ronaldo was now in a room that had a banner in it. He sat in a spinny chair. "My name is…" he started, suddenly his chair turned the wrong way. "Uh…" He blushed. "My name is Ronaldo. For years, I've run a blog called "Keep
Beach City Weird"." Pictures went across the screen, a man with his spirit exiting out of his body, a dinosaur-bird creature with horns and a screenshot from many weeks ago of Ronaldo getting attacked by Pumpkin Connies while the real one tried
to help him. "My mission: keep Beach City weird, and also to expose the truth." There also a picture of a zoom in on Connie's stomach, pointing at it with "Baby? Maybe?"
"Most people choose to ignore my mind-blowing revelations," The chair turned dramatically. "but no one can deny it when the truth was pointing right in the town's collective face!"
It then showed a recording of the giant hand from days ago, "It's an invasion!" Ronaldo gasped while recording. "Look at that thing, it's right there!"
He then started narrating as the camera zoomed in, "Beach City needed to be saved, but from what?" It then showed a picture of the Crystal Temps smiling. It zoomed in as he yelled, "Duh duh duh!"
The title card played, showing 'Rising Tides/Crashing Skies: Danger on the Boardwalk, The Truth About the Most Dangerous Boardwalk.
Then, it cut to a interview with the grandmother of the Pizza family. "Ehh, I was just cleaning up some fish for a very big order when it happened. I heard this veeery peculiar rumbling, like "boom boom boom boom boom boom!" and then a sonic
"BOOM!" and the fish I was preparing flew up into the air and fell on the ground!" A re-enactment that featured a lax animated fish tumbling around played. "I ran outside and saw this great big thing in the sky." The woman said. Ronaldo
tilted the camera to himself, saying, "The town was under attack!"
"What is this for again?" The elder asked.
Ronaldo frowned and exsplained, "It's a web exclusive for my blo—"
It cut away to see his young brother, Peedee. He sweated nervously, "Oh! Uh, yes! That day was crazy. The Mayor said—"
"Were you scared?" His brother asked.
"What?! No! I wasn't. I was just concerned that something bad would happen to the shop…"
"So, you cried a lot."
"I don't know what you're talking about…" Footage played from a few days back of Peedee clinging to the fryshop.
"Let it go!" Mr. Fryman yelled.
"Dad... dad... no! Please, no!" Peedee cried. The footage ended and Peedee frowned. "I was under a lot of stress at that time, argh!"
Ronaldo put the camrea down and walked to his brother. "Aww... hey."
"What?" Peedee whispered. Ronaldo forcefully hugged him, saying, "I'm here for you, bro."
"I'm fine, let me go!" His brother moaned.
The elder looked at the camra, "You can't make up drama this good!"
Then, he was in his father's car, when they were evacuating. He narrated, "With the space hand closing in for a high-five of the third kind, we fled the town. But then, just as mysteriously as the space hand appeared, it exploded into an explosion."
A sudden explosion was heard and the father gasped, "What in blue blazes was that?"
"I think it was an explosion!" Peedee cried.
"Unbelievable, I missed it!" Ronaldo cried from the footage.
"There's no actual footage of the giant hand thing crashing into the beach, but here's a little re-enactment for you."
His hand went to the sand on the beach. He slammed in on a board representing the beach. "Whoooaahwooo-phhhh-woah!" Suddenly, a one eyed crab grabbed his hand. "Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch! Ahhhh... My hand! Ah!"
"Beach City was saved, but by whom?" He asked as it zoomed in to the hand ship.
He was in the bookstore with Lars checking out a book to Mr. Frowny.
"Sir?" Ronaldo asked. Lars looked up. "Huh?"
"Who do you think saved Beach City from the giant handcraft?"
"Oh! Hey man, um, may I ask why that camera's here?" Lars asked with a eyebrow raised.
"Just answer the question!"
"Jeez, sorry. Um, who saved us? Wasn't it Connie's... family? I think they pretty much keep to themselves... Connie says that they protect the planet and the human race... It sounds hard to believe, but I've seen some pretty wild stuff man."
Now, in Fish Stew Pizza, he was having a interview with Kiki. "Once, they made us hamburgers, and we were having a pretty good time, but then we were attacked by a huge creature!" Her twin Jenny suddenly walked on. She tilted her head,
"Hey... you makin' a movie?"
"Oh, let him be…" Her sister smiled.
"It's a docu-web-a-mentry about the Crystal Temps." Ronaldo exsplained.
"Oh, they are c-ray-zy! One of them tried to knock me in the face! I ain't mad though…"
In the Mayor's office, Ronaldo asked again, "Mayor Dewey, who do you think saved Beach City from the handcraft?"
"Why, young man, I credit the voters with saving Beach City! My constituents know they've elected a mayor they can trust to—"
"Huh? No, I'm talking about the Crystal Temps."
"Heh, w-why?" The Mayor asked nervously.
"Well I'm covering the story-"
"Cover-up? WHAT COVER UP?!" Mayor Dewey cried for no reason.
"But—"
"SECURITY!" The man's bodyguards ran at the teen, covering his camera. "H-hey! You can't suppress the truth!" He yelled. The video fizzled out.
Ronaldo was once again sitting on his chair. "Obviously, the Crystal Temps were involved, even at the highest levels of local government. I decided to go to the source."
He was now outside the temple were Connie lived. The camrea was far away as he spoke, and Peedee shouted from the camrea, "Speak up!"
"RIGHT NOW, I'M STANDING DIRECTLY BELOW THE FORTRESS OF THE CRYSTAL TEMPS!" The teen yelled.
They came to the Beach House. "I'm now going to attempt to make contact with the mysterious, reclusive, and—"
Connie suddenly opened the door. "Hello, Ronaldo!" She turned to Peedee with the camrea. "Is that a camera?" The girl asked with a blush. "Uh, are you filming?"
"Yeah! We're making a movie about—" Peedee started.
"It's an investigative report, shot camera vérité." Ronaldo interrupted.
"Oh, I read about those!" Connie grinned.
"So, want to participate in a groundbreaking interview?" The teen asked. The girl nervouslygrabbed part of her hair, stroking it. "Er… I suppose…"
They sat in the living room. Connie was explaining the hand, "The giant hand? Oh, well… It was a spaceship coming to get us. I'm sorry, it must've ruined the town, I'll pay for the damages-"
"Us? I knew it! Connie, we know too much!" Ronaldo gasped.
"Oh, um, no, not us us." Connie said sheepishly, "I meant the Crystal Temps and I."
"Wait, so the hand wasn't here to snatch up humans for a human zoo, or interfere with our subsidized Beach City wind farm, or thaw out the cryogenically frozen pets of the one percent?!" The human asked.
The gem hybrid shook her head, " Sorry to disappoint, but no, I'm pretty sure it just came to Beach City for… me and the Crystal Temps..." Connie ended softly, obviously feeling a little guilty.
"Oh. So... if you and the Crystal Temps weren't here... we wouldn't have been attacked by the giant hand?"
"I.. I… er…" Connie gave a tiny sigh, "I guess not."
"And there it was." Ronaldo narrated, zooming in on a negative freeze of Connie.
The pictures came back, "The Crystal Temps weren't saving us, they were putting us in danger!" A sudden red X slammed on the picture of Connie and the Temps.
"I felt I had no choice but to lay bare this ugly truth to the unwitting citizens of Beach City!"
"Ma'am!" Ronaldo yelled, running to Nanefua and Kofi. The woman turned with suprise.
"Are you aware that the Crystal Temps not only saved the town, but also caused the invasion in the first place?" Ronaldo cried.
"Oh, well... no more fish are getting knocked out of my hands, so I'm not complaining."
He then interviewed Onion.
"Sir, sir! How do you feel about the Crystal Temps attracting an onslaught of dangerous space beings? Do you feel safe?"
Onion inhaled to speak, only to knock the microphone out of Ronaldo's hands and run away.
"Hey, you can't keep quiet forever!" The teen yelled after him.
In the fryshop, his father was frying.
"How can you possibly go on, knowing that we are under siege by forces meant to destroy the Crystal Temps?"
"How close are you to being done with this project?" His dad groaned.
"Just answer the question, Dad!" The stubborn teen growled.
"Ugh. I-I guess its pretty bad, but what's a regular old guy like me supposed to do about it? I've got work to do... and so do you, put down that camera." His father came up and blocked it.
It cut again to the kitchen as Ronaldo set up the camera in the kitchen and then he casually cleaned the dishes. Over it, he narrated, "Everyone was too afraid to realize that they were actually afraid." His brother came in and mopped
the floor behind him, soon putting a "wet floor" sign down. "Beach City needed a hero, and that hero would have to be me." Ronaldo slipped on the water and fell very clumsily.
It cut again to night at the beach.
"Okay, everything's ready for our full on night time stealth coverage." Ronaldo said, backing away from the camrea.
Peedee, who held the camera then asked a reasonable question: "Is it really okay for us to be lurking around like this?"
"We're not lurking, we're investigating! This is a moment of true bravery, are you brave like me? I'm so brave to be doing this. COME ON!" He ran along the wall and hid when he heard a cry. Connie was falling but Lapis caught her and
gently flew her to the ground as one-eyed crabs scuttled around them.
"STAY BACK, LITTLE BRO!" Ronaldo yelled.
"Oh, you really should be in bed." Lapis sighed, smoothing out the girl's hair. She then heard the snapping of claws and ran to it. "Bedtime can wait!"
Connie attempted to run after her but Ronaldo called her name before she could. Connie froze and slowly turned. "Guys? You can't be here at night! Please, go home-"
"CUT THE PLEASANTRIES!" Ronaldo yelled as Peedee ran after him. The teen confronted the girl. "You're all a danger to our city!"
"No…." Connie frowned.
"GUYS! NOW!" She heard Jasper yell. She and the camrea turned to see the Temps fighting a giant one-eyed crab. "OOOOOOOOOOOOh my gosh. What the heck is that?" Peedee screamed.
"Right now?!" Peridot cried, flating her pole.
"Oh my- YES, RIGHT NOW!" Jasper yelled.
Peridot slammed her flat sheet of metal onto the crab's head, pushing it deep in the sand.
"Great, now poke it in the eye!" Jasper barked. Peridot leapt up, rolled her pole to it's normal state, and fired. "Lazuli!"
"You called?" Lapis laughed, sending water clones of herself at the thing.
"Thata' gem! Now let's bubble this thing!" Jasper yelled.
The camrea turned back to Connie and Ronaldo. "This is exactly the thing I'm talking about, Connie
"But the Crystal Temps are here to help people, I promise!" Connie answered.
"But all the monsters just come here to get you guys, and then wreck things and put us in danger! Beach City would be way safer if you guys weren't here!" The Temps walked out behind him with a bubbled gem.
"Human, magic beings are drawn to us, but we were here long before this tiny, insignificant, little town even existed." Peridot said matter of factly.
"Who cares how long you've been here? Innocent people are in danger as long as you're hangin around!" Ronaldo growled.
Jasper raised a eyebrow. "Huh. I guess we'll just leave then, chubby."
"Wait, what?" Peridot said drly.
Lapis looked at Jasper with surprise. "You, you can't be serious!"
"But, Jasper!" Connie cried. Jasper grabbed her and put the girl on her massive shoulders. "Don't sass me, little lady. Clearly, we're not wanted here, so let's just leave." She walked away while the Temps followed.
"Jasper, this is uncalled for, Jasper, what about my stuff?!" Peridot gasped in horror.
"I like it here! And it's Connie's home!" Lapis cried, flying after her.
Ronaldo looked after them then glanced back at the camrea. "Uh... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" After a few seconds, he whispered, "Uh, you can turn the camera o—"
It cut to Ronaldo's home where Peedee sat peeling potatoes behind him. "Ah, that's right, I did it! Thanks to me, the Temps are gone forever!" Ronaldo grinned triumphantly.
"Hm, that's too bad, now you won't have anything to blog about anymore." Peedee sighed behind him.
"Come on, dude, I'm trying to finish the movie!" Ronaldo groaned.
"Well this relates to your movie," Peedee added, perking his interests. "you said it yourself, the Temps cause all the weird stuff in Beach City, so now that they're gone, there'll be no more weird stuff."
Ronaldo gasped in horror. "No, NOOOOOOOOO! What have I done?!" The screen froze and went red. "What had I done? I done bad." It cut back to his set and he said dramatically, "I made a terrible mistake."
It cut to Ronaldo running towards the temple, yelling back, "THIS IS A MATTER OF WEIRD AND DEATH!" Peedee ran behind him with the camrea, panting for air. "I'm going, as fast as I can!"
Ronaldo banged hard on the door, praying they were still there. "CRYSTAL TEMPS! You have to stay! Every messed up consequence of your presence gives me reason to wake up in the morning! Without you, my blog doesn't stand a chance!" He
then fell in dispar. " Ah, I'm too late, what have I done? I've made Beach City NORMAL!" He cried, "I've broken my promise to the city, and to myself!" Jasper suddenly walked up to the door and frowned.
"Um… hey there."
"Ooooooooooh, you're still here! Please don't leave! I was wrong, stay and keep this town weird!" Ronaldo cried. He narrated over, "I had no idea how this Crystal Temp would respond to my plea. The answer will shock you."
"Never talk to me again, and then we might stay." Jasper said. She turned and left as Ronaldo started weeping, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" His sobbing turned to maniacal laughter.
It cut to Ronaldo standing on the Brooding Hill, as he liked to call it. "I had skillfully negotiated for the Temps to stay, perhaps I have a future in... intergalactic diplomacy?" He gave a laugh. "In the end, I suppose the Temps
really do save Beach City— from being not weird!" The narrating ended and Ronaldo turned. "Okay, Peedee, I think that about wraps it up! Good job with the camera, bro!"
"Oh, thanks!" His brother cried. It cut to credits, mostly to Ronaldo, and the Temps still stared at it.
"Welp, that was ten minutes of my infinite life utterly wasted." Jasper grunted.
"Were we really gonna leave Beach City?" Connie asked.
Jasper laughed, "No, I just wanted him to shut up, he made you feel guilty, I just had to make sure he and you both realized that we truly are helpful to this town."
"I wonder how many people have seen this thing?" Peridot asked.
Lapis shrugged and clicked off. "Oh, we're the only ones, see?"
Connie smiled and clicked like on the Tube-Tube video.