Disclaimer is in chapter 1.
The last feast before the Hols was well underway when the doors to the Great Hall opened and three figures strode in.
"Mr. Stumbles! I would have a word with you!" The lead said, loud enough for the entire school to hear.
"I believe it's Dumbles, Hon."
"Is it?" The man looked confused, "How odd. Never mind that anyway, Just why is the school ringed by demons?"
The murmuring of the feast fell away as the man's question rang out clearly, causing Headmaster Dumbledore to rise.
"Mr. Addams, I presume you mean the Dementors?" He asked with a genial sort of gesture, "I'm afraid that while I am able to prevent their encroachment on school grounds, the Ministry has decreed their presence beyond."
"There, I told you, Tish," Gomez shook his head.
"You did, Dear." She agreed.
"Surrounding a school with demons is stupidity of the highest order, Mr. Dumbles." Gomez ground out as he, Morticia, and Lurch strode up the hall. "It's a miracle they haven't hurt anyone."
Half the school looked over to where Harry was sitting, causing him to shrink from the attention.
"I assure you, the safety of the children is paramount." Dumbledore said seriously.
"Says the man who left an insane basilisk to run loose in his school last year," Gomez rolled his eyes, "not that I have anything against keeping pets, Mr. Dumbles, but obviously you don't know how to tend them."
"Mr. Addams," Dumbledore said with a put upon sigh, "I assume you're here to pick up young Wednesday and Alexander?"
"Of course I am, man, but stay on subject."
"I know that you're also aware that parents are supposed to pick up their children and charges in London." Dumbledore said tiredly. "This is so as to avoid disrupting the school."
"You have DEMONS surrounding your school and I'm the one disrupting things?" Gomez looked over at Morticia, confused, "Is he insane or am I?"
"Why not both?" She asked lightly.
"True." Gomez admitted with a sudden grin. "May I enquire as to why..."
His question was lost in the clatter as the doors to the Hall burst open again, this time revealing a contingent of Aurors with wands drawn, being followed closely by a chubby man in a bowler hat.
"Where is he!?" The man demanded, "We're here, children, it's safe now! Where is Black!?"
Dumbledore sank in his chair, shaking his head, "Minister Fudge, so pleasant to see you. Are you here for a reason?"
"Don't play with me, Dumbledore! Where is Black!?" Fudge demanded.
"What makes you think that Sirius Black is here?" Dumbledore asked, honestly curious.
"We found a Dementor just outside the grounds," A tall black Auror said crisply as he and the others carefully covered the room. "Or, we found what was left of it."
Murmurs filled the room and Dumbledore straightened up, "Left of it? Explain."
"It was dead, or as close to it as I've ever seen in a Dementor," The Auror said calmly.
"Yes, yes, Black is a dangerous one, now where is he!?" Fudge interrupted. "He must be making his move and..."
"Oh that," Gomez said calmly as he leaned on the Ravenclaw table and picked at some of the food in front of his daughter, "That was me."
The Aurors spun to look at him, about half of them covering him with their wands.
"You!?" Fudge sputtered. "Impossible! Who are you anyway?"
Gomez grimaced as he tasted a sip of pumpkin juice, setting the goblet down with distaste. "Gomez Addams. And you?"
"A... Addams you say?" Fudge faltered, staring at him.'
"Precisely, now why were demons stationed around the school?" Gomez asked lightly.
"They're hunting a dangerous fugitive," Fudge blustered.
"Who?"
"Sirius Black, of course!"
"Black?" Gomez looked thoughtful, "Where have I heard that name from?"
"The paper, dear," Morticia said lightly from where she was standing, "The escaped prisoner?"
"Oh yes! The very man!" Gomez snapped his fingers, "Escaped from Azkaban, right?"
"Exactly!"
"And you set Dementors on his trail."
"Precisely!"
"So, just so I understand things," Gomez went on, "You set Dementors to hunt down a man who's already proven that he knows how to escape from them."
"Exac... wait, no, I mean..." Fudge blinked, thinking furiously.
"Indeed." Gomez pushed off the table, turning to look at his daughter. "Are you ready, my dear? I thought we may get an early jump on things."
"Of course, Father." Wednesday said simply, folding her napkin and setting it aside as she rose up.
"Alexander?"
"All set." Xander said, rising as well. "Just need to get my trunk."
"Splendid, we'll be about that then, shall we?"
The two children nodded and as a group they made to leave the hall.
"Hold on just a moment!" Fudge blustered. "You attacked and destroyed property of the ministry, that's a serious charge and..."
Gomez turned on him, his jovial tone gone and a dead sounding one in its place. "There are no laws in any country on this entire world that protect demonic entities from destruction, Fudge. Try to get one passed, and you'll learn why the Addams name is feared."
Then, in an instant, the dead sounding tone was gone and Gomez smiled at the two children with him. "Come along then, time to go. We have a wonderful place for the holidays this year..."
Then they were gone, leaving the Minister, The Aurors, the students, and the professors staring in stunned shock at their wake.
"Minister, Auror Shacklbolt, if I may ask... how did the Dementor die?" Dumbledore asked quietly.
Shacklbolt looked over at him, then back at where the Addams had been, "Looked like it starved to death, Headmaster."
They retrieved their trunks quickly and Gomez led them out of the school to where the Silver Cloud awaited. Xander had to pause for a moment at the incongruity of the car sitting against the backdrop of Hogwarts, then smiled as he shook his head and moved forward.
"Really, demons at a school. What's next?" Gomez shook his head, "The world has no sense of balance, Tish. If it's not those horrible fairytales with Knights killing poor defenseless dragons, it's allowing demons within striking range of children."
Xander had to admit, the comment about poor defenseless dragons seemed more in keeping with the Addamses he knew. Though Wednesday had also voiced her displeasure with the presence of the Dementors as well, so he wasn't sure.
They stowed their trunks away in the boot, and piled into the surprisingly roomy back of the car, with four people and two familiars. Xander shifted oddly, noting that the car was tilted heavily toward the passengers' side of the old car, and was about to comment on it when Lurch settled into the drivers' seat and the car instantly evened out.
He glanced over his shoulder at the large, man he supposed, then shivered a little and let it pass.
"Uh, Sir, what's so bad about Dementors?" He asked, however. "I mean, other than the obvious. You don't seem to have a problem with Werewolves, vampires, and all those..."
Xander shifted uncomfortably as they stared at him, and was about to say something else when Gomez spoke up.
"Hardly the same thing, lad." He said, "There is a difference between magical beasts and demonic ones. We Addamses have no truck with demons, they're not to be trusted and certainly not to be permitted within range of children."
"They are unnatural." Wednesday supplied.
"Precisely!" Gomez seized on the comment. "You can feel it when you're around them, if you listen carefully to your instincts. Demons are the antithesis of everything we stand for on this world, they live only to destroy."
"Gomez, darling," Morticia put a calming hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure that Alexander doesn't understand, and you know how bad misinformation can be."
Gomez sighed, "Yes, yes, of course. Demons, my boy, are not from this world. That's one of the key points about them. They're not even from a world remotely like this one. Please, don't misunderstand me here, we Addamses don't expect others to believe as we do but there are some things we hold to be self-evident. One of those things is that you don't make deals with those who would destroy you."
"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." Wednesday said calmly.
"Not just pretty words." Morticia smiled.
"Exactly." Gomez said with a flourish of his cigar.
Xander's Latin had, as a matter of necessity, gotten fairly decent over the past three years but he had to struggle a bit to place the phrase.
We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.
Xander cringed, "Family motto?"
"Yes." Wednesday said with a hint of a predatory smile. "Now imagine what we do to those who would destroy us?"
"How on Earth did that... man..." McGonagall said, obviously using the term lightly. "Kill a Dementor?"
Dumbledore sighed, shaking his head, "I'm afraid I have no idea. The Addamses are an old family line, with possibly thousands of years of family magic to draw on. Additionally, they don't blink at interbreeding with many... beings... that we would consider abhorrent."
"Obviously they draw the line at Dementors." The Head of Gryffindor said dryly in return.
Dumbledore nodded, "thankfully so. The family has long held an active state of open warfare with what they term demonic species."
"What they term?"
"Their definition varies somewhat from most accepted scholars," Dumbledore admitted tiredly. "So it's not easy to say precisely what species they will, or won't, accept without prior experience."
"Lovely." Minerva sighed, "I suppose we should be glad that it was only a Dementor that was harmed, then."
"Far be it for me to wish harm on any creature," Dumbledore sighed, "But I do wish Cornelius would remove the Dementors from the area. They are causing far more trouble than they're worth."
"Why don't you oppose him in the Wizengamot, Albus?"
"That would not be a productive use of my efforts at the moment, Minerva."