525,600 Minutes

February- Trish

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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"Adam," Trish murmured, watching one of her best friends hold her baby daughter. "I hope you don't mind that we didn't make you Lola's Godfather," She couldn't help but watch her baby.

"Jason's the more worthy candidate in this case. Besides, I'm the Godfather to Baby Girl Colon," Trish nodded, stifling a yawn. Then, Lola's eyes shot open and she began to wail. "Let me guess… lunch?" Trish nodded.

Self consciously, she began to nurse her daughter. It was the first time she had attempted nursing in front of anyone besides AJ, Amy or Maria. It didn't matter that Adam was one of her best friends. She was just self-conscious.

"I can leave," Adam murmured, perhaps sensing how embarrassed Trish was. The new mother shook her head. She would have to get used to it. "If it helps, that doesn't bother me."

That one comment did help slightly. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed and began to nurse comfortably.

Lola was barely a month old and yet, Trish couldn't imagine herself without the baby. Since Lola had arrived, everything had changed. However, every change was completely welcome.

AJ stumbled in, holding a box. Trish groaned. Who had sent what now? It seemed as if with each passing day they were bombarded with more packages from well meaning co-workers.

"It's from Vince himself," AJ murmured, setting the box down. Then, he moved into the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked, as soon as AJ was out of earshot. Trish sighed.

"I love Lola, don't get me wrong," Trish murmured. "Postpartum depression is kicking my ass." Glancing down at her daughter, she began to cry. "I don't know what I would do without Lola but sometimes I wonder…"

She was ashamed, admitting her feelings. If Adam were anyone else, she wouldn't have even told him. She was a mother. She should love her daughter. She shouldn't wonder what would happen if her daughter wasn't there.

"It's normal." He murmured, grasping Trish's hand. "You'll be fine,"

She didn't know what to make of what Adam was telling her. She knew she would be fine, but she wanted to be the perfect mother. Perfect mothers weren't depressed, shunning their husbands and paying attention only to their baby.

"I love Lola. Why do I feel like this?" she murmured, tears streaming down her face. Protectively, she clutched the baby.

"Trish, maybe you need to see someone…" Adam murmured. Trish wanted to see someone. She knew she needed help, but admitting to needing help would make her a bad mother. "Everyone falls. Everyone needs help sometimes,"

"Do you?" she retorted, burping the baby. Adam sighed.

"Not at this moment, but I have gotten help." He said. "I really don't want to talk about it," Trish sighed.

"I'm exhausted. Every time I go to sleep, I hear her crying, so, I wake up, but she's asleep. I want to cry, every time I look in a mirror. Why didn't someone tell me what was going to happen when I got pregnant?" she murmured. The more she spoke, the worse she felt.

Then, AJ appeared. Trish gulped. She hadn't been expecting him. What was she supposed to say? He had probably heard everything.

"Sweetie, you're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise," he murmured. "If you need to get out, I can take the baby." She nodded, sobbing. "Get help if you need it. It doesn't make you a bad mother."

Holding Lola, she knew she could pull herself out of this. She had a beautiful baby, and a loving husband.

That was all she needed.