Winry heaved a sigh when she finally arrived in front of her house. Yes, she had finally gotten back from her visit to Central. She was just planning to congratulate Edward for becoming a state alchemist, and to see if Alphonse was alright…but somehow, it turned into a disaster. But at least, she had some souvenir. In fact, she had so much boxes and bags to carry that she couldn't even see in front of her. So she fell, tripped and was trampled on until she was able to get home…She was so relieved that she was able to get home alive…
But when that thought of being home alive crossed her mind, her thoughts instantly went back to Ed. Alive…if it wasn't of Ed, she couldn't even have thought of coming back home. If Ed wasn't there, she would have been sliced up by that psycho Barry guy...Shivers ran down her spine just to think about that. She shook her head as if to dismiss that from her mind, and (with much difficulty) opened the front door.
"Bachan! I'm back!"
Winry shouted cheerfully from the entrance. It was not as if she wanted her grandmother to be worried about her. Or about the Elrics. She carefully put down all the things she made the Elrics buy for her.
"Winry. So, how were they doing?"
"Oh, fine. They are perfectly fine."
She said dismissively as she selected some objects from the huge stack she had. She just didn't feel like talking about anything that happened at Central. Pinako raised and eyebrow at her granddaughter.
"You go all the way to Central and the only thing you have to say is that they're fine?"
"Well…a lot happened."
"A lot? And you do not plan on telling me anything, do you?"
Winry stopped picking things from the pile.
"I don't feel like talking about that right now… I'll tell you what I can when I'm done organizing all these thoughts…"
She said quietly and sadly. She bent down to pet a bewildered Den, and then got up again. She smiled halfheartedly at Pinako, then went into her room.
"Oh damn it, Ed. You're making my life so complicated."
She said, as she slammed her bag on her bed. She sighed again, not even bothering to count how many times she had sighed on account of them already. Before all these things happened, she was just an innocent, cheerful girl. She was always smiling, and though Ed and Al gave her a hard time sometimes, she was happy. But after all these things, it was as if she had never seen a real, bright sunny sky.
"I could curse you all for this."
And now she felt so guilty about the thing with Barry. If only she hadn't been so stupid and followed Barry. If she hadn't been so interested in the van and had seen the strangeness of the situation… Then Ed wouldn't have had to go after her and hadn't been hurt.
Yes, hurt. Of course he was hurt physically from all the cuts he received from Barry, but he was hurt more mentally. She had known him too long, and saw the deep hurt and bewilderment in his eyes for a while after the incident with Barry. The bewilderment left soon, but the hurt just seemed to worsen by the minute.
Winry really felt guilty for everything. It seemed like he got so hurt all because of her, and it really troubled her. She couldn't think of anything to say to them while she was there, since she was scared they might not talk to her like they did before. Well, they never really bothered to tell her anything anymore. She didn't want to make it worse.
But now, it was just too much. She sighed, again, and sat in her table. After much thinking of what she could write, what she couldn't write, what she should write and what she shouldn't write, she picked up a pen and started writing. She did not know that Pinako was standing just outside the door, brows furrowed with concern for her granddaughter and her two friends.
xoxox
Dear Ed,
I had a nice time visiting Central…except for that thing with Barry. I'm so sorry I got fooled and I let myself get kidnapped. I swear that will not happen ever again. If you weren't there…I really don't know what would have happened to me.
After that...you were talking with Al, right? I wasn't sure if I was allowed to listen to the conversation, but I overheard some words here and there. I just felt how small I am, and I just stood there and started crying like an idiot. I should have…I wanted to say something to you, but I couldn't.
Ed, you aren't weak. You aren't as bad as you think. I don't think I could have done anything if I was in your place. It's just that…you are too kind. It wasn't your fault. Nothing was your fault. But you just blame yourself for it. It's OK if you can only help yourself, that's just normal. People are small and selfish. Everyone in this world just cares about themselves. Not many people are as nice as you. Though you may not like showing it, I know you are really nice.
Hey Ed, I've wanted to ask you this so badly but I couldn't while I was there. I knew too well that you would just lie to my face, the way you always do. And that I will never be able to ask you again. Are you sure everything is alright? I mean, you said you were, but I do not believe it at all. You seem sadder. Than before.
Oh, but you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.
Good luck in your work!
Always,
Winry