Disclaimer is in chapter 1.

Hermione Granger was not what one would call a 'simple girl' by any stretch of the imagination, nor was she 'normal'. Normal was something she was almost entirely unfamiliar with, though, except for that narrow band of normality that she defined as such.

Born with an eidetic memory, she'd learned to read by the age of four. Granted, her first novel wasn't consumed on her own until she was six, but it was still impressive. Throughout her mid to late childhood, as she defined it, she had few friends other than her impressive collection of books on every subject she could imagine.

They took her to places she had only dreamed existed, until she turned eleven.

That was when the concept of 'normal', even by her standards, ceased to exist. Magic was real. There was a whole separate world out there where Magic ruled over logic. The most bizarre things happened, sometimes for no apparent reason, and sometimes with effect even preceding cause! It was gloriously insane, and though she hated it... she also loved it.

It was perhaps odd, then, for her to realize that nothing she'd seen in the magic world had shocked her half so much as when Xander arrived for his fitting, and his mystery guest was Harry Potter.

"H... Harry?" Hermione blinked, stunned.

"Hey Hermione," Harry waved a little, smiling weakly. "How's your summer been?"

"Harry! What are you doing here?" She blurted, shocked. "I thought you were with your Aunt and Uncle."

Harry nodded, "I was until Xander showed up."

She turned on Xander, eyes narrowing, "How do you know where Harry lives?"

Xander rolled his eyes, "Geez Herms, how hard is it to call information and ask where to find Vernon Dursley?"

Hermione paused, the blushed. It was THAT easy?

"Besides, it's not like the Minister didn't sell Harry's address to Malfoy for a campaign donation already anyway." Xander shrugged, looking like he hadn't just dropped a tactical nuke on his two friends.

"WHAT!?" They both exploded.

"Yeah, thought that would get your attention." Xander said, moving his finger around in his ear. "Mrs. Malfoy told me and Sirius a couple weeks ago, it's one reason why Sirius agreed to this little scheme."

"And what little scheme would that be?" Hermione demanded, hands on her hips as she glared at them both.

"The scheme we need to get suits fitted for, if you don't mind?" Xander smirked.

"Right this way, Sirs." An older man said, smoothly interposing himself between Hermione and the two boys. "You may continue your conversation during the fitting if you like."

"Oh, I like alright." Hermione fumed.

Xander just smirked at her as Harry shied away from them both. Xander spared him a glance, "You know, for all the Boy Who Lived hero type stuff that you're famous for, you sure are a wimp sometimes."

"Give me Voldemort over Hermione in that mood any day. I can CURSE Voldemort." Harry shot back, "I won't even be able to get a word in edgewise against her."

"True." Xander conceded, enjoying the red flush Hermione was currently experiencing.

Idly he wondered if it might be possible to ever get Wednesday that worked up, then he shook off the thought. Suicidal he wasn't.

"Oohhh... You... You two..." Hermione was near bursting as she looked between them, like she wanted to hit them, curse them, or worse but couldn't decide who to start with.

"We'll be right here, you know, if you manage to remember how to speak English or anything." Xander said with a smirk as he stood where the tailor motioned him.

Across the room, Dan turned to Emma and whispered, "You think he's going to survive the fitting?"

"Who? Xander or Harry?" She asked, shrugging.

"Harry looks smart enough to duck out of the line of fire. That Xander boy doesn't look smart enough to tie his shoes at the moment."

"Oh hush."

She had to admit, however, that he had a point. At the moment Xander was standing uncomfortably as the tailor was running the tape around his body, occasionally yelping as quietly as possible when the tape passed by somewhere personal.

Harry took a moment to admire his reflection in the mirror, the new suit being the first muggle clothes he'd ever owned that fit.

Now if only they could find a decent hair tailor, he thought as he tried in vain to get his hair to set down flat.

"Oh Harry," Hermione smiled, walking up to him. "You look great."

"Thanks." He said, scowling at his reflection. "Damn it. Stay down already."

She laughed at him, "You keep trying. I'm sure you'll get it eventually."

Harry nodded, determinedly patting down his hair and not noting that she didn't say what exactly he would get.

Xander stepped out, running his fingers through his own hair as he did, "So, how do I look?"

"Very dashing," Hermione assured him. "Try not to ruin the effect by talking, alright?"

"Oh har, har." He said dryly.

"Now would someone please tell me what, exactly, is going on here?" She demanded, glaring at the duo. "What scheme are you two involved in?"

"Nothing much really," Xander said with a smirk, "Just arranging a Knighthood for Harry so he can take over as Regent Black and begin influencing the Wizarding government through the Wizengamot."

Hermione's jaw dropped as she processed that.

"Merlin, Xander, I think you broke her." Harry muttered.

"Yeah," Xander nodded as he leaned in closer to examine her expression. "Pity, you know. You'd think she'd be tougher after a few years of dealing with me and Wednesday."

Hermione shook herself, gathering some composure, and glared at them both.

"Alright, you..." She pointed at Harry, "Start talking."

"Don't ask me, this is mostly Sirius' idea." Harry admitted. "And the Wizengamot stuff is new to me."

Hermione turned to glare at Xander, who shrugged.

"Did I forget to mention that?"

"Yes! You did!" They both growled.

"Sorry. The Black Family has a seat on the Wizened Gamut thing," Xander said casually, "Plus probably a gazillion fingers dug into influencing the other votes. Course, right now, Lucius Malfoy is pulling most of those strings."

"What?"

"What?" Xander rolled his eyes, "You think he arranged a marriage to Narcissa Black just for the name alone? I'm sure I don't know a fraction of what's really going on, but having met the woman and talked with her, I can tell you this much... She lives and breathes politics like we breathe air."

"No bloody wonder why our world is such a mess," Harry grumbled. "Just hand the keys to the castle over to the enemy, why don't you?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what they did." Xander nodded.

"Oh Merlin." Hermione sighed. "And you really think that Harry can change any of this? Harry, you're not quite fourteen yet. Have you talked to the Headmaster?"

"What business is it of his?" Xander asked as he took a seat.

"He's the headmaster." She told him, exasperated.

Xander looked around, confused, "Are we in school now?"

Hermione growled, throwing her hands up, "He's the chief warlock of the Wizengamot then!"

"Yeah, so it'll be his business when Harry shows up to be sworn in, or whatever it is that they do." Xander mused, "Do you suppose it's like one of those fraternity initiations? You know, a bunch of old geezers paddling the new guy?"

Hermione groaned and hid her face in her hand while Harry looked at Xander in a mixture of shock and worry.

"I bet the headmaster swings a mean paddle."

"This is not some stupid college movie, Xander!"

"I don't know, have you seen how the headmaster acts?" Xander went on, "if the rest are anything like him it could be ANYTHING at all."

"He has a point, Hermione," Harry said, now smiling a bit, "But seriously, Xander, I doubt it's anything like that."

"You better hope not." Xander smirked.

"Why?"

"Cause if it is, I'm sneaking into line with the rest."

Hermione groaned again, shaking her head.

"I don't know if this is a good idea," Hermione said with misgivings later as they talked.

"If Harry waited for good ideas, he'd never do anything."

Both Harry and Hermione shot Xander dirty looks for that, but he just laughed them off.

"Look, Hermione, it's not like it's rushing into a fight to, you know, kill a sixty foot snake or anything." Xander finally countered, "He's just accepting his family legacy. You need to relax."

"I just wish you'd tell someone," Hermione said grumpily. "Honestly, you need advice from an adult."

"I spoke to Sirius." Harry objected.

"An adult who hasn't spent the last thirteen years mostly in a prison cell."

"Actually, I'm honestly having trouble with calling Sirius an adult," Xander said, holding up one hand.

That one earned him another pair of dirty looks, which he again cheerfully ignored.

"You're NOT helping." Harry accused him.

"Was I supposed to be?" Xander looked genuinely confused.

"Yes!" Harry yelled.

"No!" Hermione growled.

"Gah!" Xander stepped back from them, "You two need to relax. Look, Hermione, this is about Harry ok? He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to, and I really don't think that he's in any danger while meeting with the representative of the Queen."

"The Queen?" Harry squeaked.

"Well duh," Xander rolled his eyes, conveniently ignoring that he'd asked the exact same question not a day earlier. "Where did you think Knighthoods came from? The Easter Bunny?"

A silence descended as Harry blushed and Hermione goggled at the idea of Harry possibly meeting the Queen, or even just a direct representative. Xander just checked his watch.

"Whoops. Time to get you back home, Harry. I'll let you know when we're ready to meet the Baron dude." He said, "Keep your spell phone on you."

Xander loved magic. Here he was, fourteen years old, and he was basically loose in the entire nation of Great Britain. Back home he'd be permitted to run around the neighborhood, maybe, possibly the town. But, LA? Not a chance, he couldn't get there even though it was only a couple hours down the coast.

With the Knight Bus, he could get anywhere in the nation in an insanely short period of time. Xander wondered why he'd never heard of anything like it in the states, there had to be something he supposed.

The bus dropped him off at the stop closest to Malfoy Manor and Xander walked the fairly long way back as he'd been shown by Mrs. Malfoy. There wasn't even a path to the manor, built as it had been by magic and not non-magical construction. The sky was dim when he arrived and made himself known at the wards long enough for the house elf, Sammy, to let him in.

"Thanks," He told her, nodding as he walked up to the manor.

"No needs for thanks, Master Xandy." The elf said, ducking her head and looking embarrassed. "Sammy is just doing her job."

Before he could respond the bizarre little creature had popped away, leaving Xander to reflect on that fact that he had yet to meet a magical sentient that was sane in any fundamental way. Wizards were off their rockers, Goblins were nuts, and House elves were seriously twisted.

It was enough to make him wonder if magic had a really bad effect on a person's ability to think straight.

' Eh. It's worth it,' He thought with a grin as he walked into the manor.

Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy were in the sitting room when walked in, the Mrs. was reading while the Master of the house was working at an ornate hand carved desk. Lucius spared Xander a bit of a sneer, but quickly wiped it away as he rose to his feet.

"Mr. Harris." He said coolly.

"Mr. Malfoy. It's good to meet you under better circumstances." Xander said politely.

Lucius' eyes flickered slightly, but he nodded in return. "And you, Mr. Harris. I do trust, however, that you won't be associating with any more convicted murderers while you're staying here."

"Lucius!" Narcissa snapped.

The irony of that statement was far from lost on Xander, but even he knew that pointing it out wasn't the smartest thing he could do at the moment. He just kept the smile plastered on his face, "I wasn't aware that Sirius Black had been granted a trial, let alone been convicted in one."

"Irrelevant. The courts made their decision, Black's presence was hardly needed." Lucius said with a dismissive gesture.

That surprised Xander, and his face showed it. "A man doesn't have a right to a trial in the Wizarding World?"

Lucius snorted, "Why would he?"

Xander turned sharply to look at Narcissa, but her face confirmed Lucius' statement. Xander blinked a couple times, then rocked back on his proverbial heals.

"Whoa."

"What is it, Alexander?"

Xander shook his head, "Sorry. Just a little stunned is all. Any American citizen has the right to a trial, as does any British citizen. In the non-magical world, at least. I'd assumed that it was the same. I think I need to ask a few questions about what my rights as a Magical are."

Lucius' sneer was back in full force. "Muggle-born."

Xander turned back to him, smile gone. "No Sir. My parents were the product of two pureblood lines, The Harris and Lavelle branch families that moved to the Americas over two hundred years ago. I was, however, raised in non-magical fashion until I turned eleven."

Every word from his mouth was the complete truth, and an impressive fabrication designed to direct anyone who heard it to certain assumptions. Lucius obediently followed along the posted path just as Xander hoped.

"Barbarians." The man said finally, sighing as he took the seat behind his desk again. "Exposing children to such things."

"Perhaps," This time Xander was gritting his teeth, "though it comes in handy by times."

"How so?"

"Non-magical pharmaceutical companies pay me an obscene amount of money for a potions patent I developed just before my second year." Xander said candidly. "Working is something I'll never have to worry about."

Lucius considered, then tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment. Politics were politics, but money was money.

Seeing that the confrontation, sorry... conversation, was over Narcissa smoothly directed Xander over to a chair across from her.

"So, Alex, did you finish what you needed to?" She asked, not looking back at her husband who was now ignoring them as he went over some papers.

Xander nodded, "Yes. We're ready."

Her eyes widened at his use of the word 'we' and she cast him a questioning glance, to which he just nodded. Narcissa nodded in return and settled back comfortably to read her book. He'd gotten more done than she'd expected, which meant he had been able to arrange a fitting on very short notice while still contacting the Potter boy.

Impressive. She'd have to pay a little more attention to this Hermione Granger, if the girl had been able to help him get that done with such speed.

A glance back across at Xander showed that he had broken open his own book and was idly jotting notes as he worked.

Narcissa wondered briefly where Draco was, then realized that she likely didn't want to know and just sighed before turning her attention back to her book.

The next couple days went by in a blur for Xander.

Thankfully Lucius had elected to ignore him, as had Draco for the moment. Neither Malfoy were in the manor with any consistency as Lucius spent his time in London, apparently 'advising' the Minister, and Draco was off with 'friends'. Xander presumed that mean Goyle and Crabbe, or perhaps Parkinson as those were the only people he knew off hand who actively sought Draco's company.

For himself, Xander found that he had to contact Hermione several more times to arrange the details of their movement through the non-magical world. Getting Harry to the meeting, for example, wasn't going to be as simple as popping by his place and flooing, apparating, or portkeying to their destination. The protections involved didn't allow for that, so they'd have to do things the old fashioned way.

That is to say, the modern upscale way.

Xander arrived at Hermione's two days after his fitting, dressed in his carefully pressed suit. Hermione had insisted on going with them, which surprised Xander and Harry not in the least, so he had made the arrangements to start their little trip at her place.

The limo arrived on time, just as Hermione came down the stairs in a carefully chosen dress that startled Xander to see. The normally mousy girl had gone all out for Harry's day, apparently, and looked truly beautiful in her pale green dress, with her hair immaculately styled.

"Oh my." Dan Granger said, shocked to the core by his daughter's appearance. "You look fantastic, honey."

"Thank you, Daddy." She blushed, ducking her head a bit.

Xander almost panicked, mind racing as he tried to think of what he was supposed to say in this situation. He had no clue. It wasn't a date, there were rules for that (as Mrs. Malfoy insisted on hammering into him), but the work she'd done certainly warranted some kind of comment.

Apparently his moment of panic didn't go unnoticed, however, as Emma moved up beside him and patted him on the back.

"Breath, Xander." She whispered, amused.

Xander took a breath, then shook the feeling off. "You look beautiful, Hermione."

"Thank you, Xander."

"Well, shall we?" Xander asked, nodding to the door.

"Yes, let's."

The trip from the Granger's to Privet Drive was a couple hours, leaving Xander and Hermione a great deal of time to sit uncomfortably as each mostly thought their own thoughts and tried to avoid doing anything that might mess up their appearance.

Before arriving at Privet Drive, however, Xander had the driver stop by one of the designated stops for the Knight Bus and got out as Narcissa Malfoy appeared, decked out similarly to Hermione in an, admittedly more old fashioned, off white gown. He held the door as she stepped in, then sat down himself and the trio were off to pick up their fourth.

"So this is how Muggles travel," Narcissa said idly, looking around. She'd seen cars only from the outside before, it was surprisingly roomy inside, she found.

"Rich ones." Xander smiled, "Who aren't going very far."

Narcissa nodded, then turned her attention to Hermione. "This must be Miss Granger. You are far prettier than my son led me to believe."

Hermione didn't know how to take that. Was it a compliment or not?

"Thank you," She said finally, before muttering, "I think."

Narcissa smiled slightly, "I expected nothing less, my dear. My son has many fine qualities, however for the most part even I have to admit that they are difficult to find under his more abrasive ones."

Hermione just nodded, again not knowing what to say.

The Limo arrived outside Number Four Privet Drive just a few moments later, and Xander waited for the driver to get out and open the door for them this time. The trio stepped out, and the sight of the identical houses all in a row brought a sniff of distaste from Narcissa.

"Absolutely no privacy." She muttered, shaking her head.

The presence of the limo had brought attention from various people all along the drive, and she could see them appearing from the woodwork as they tried to get a closer look without appearing like they were trying to get a closer look. It was all very common. Narcissa lifted her head and followed as Xander led them up to the door and rang the bell.

There was a long silence from inside, then the door opened to show one Harry James Potter, wearing a torn suit and looking more than slightly enraged. Xander flinched as the sensation of ants crawling up his spine began to form and increase.

"Mr. Potter, please calm down." Narcissa said firmly, though she was shocked by the sheer volume of power emanating from the boy. "We do not need a visit from the Ministry Obliviators at the moment."

Harry nodded grimly and took deep breaths. The oppressive presence began to die out as they stepped into the house and saw the Dursleys cowering in the corner of the room.

"What happened?" Xander asked after a long moment.

"My... *family* decided I shouldn't be dressed this well." Harry hissed.

"Indeed." Narcissa eyed the three muggles, but mindfully didn't draw her wand. She had no desire to trip whatever wards were placed on the house, boy, or family. If they were blood wards, than the boy's sheer raw power would make them even more formidable. "As much as I would like to, we can do nothing about them at the moment. Nothing directly, at any rate. Come along, Mr. Potter. You have an appointment with Her Majesty's representative."

"But my suit..." Harry sighed, looking down at the torn fabric.

"Are you not a Wizard, Mr. Potter?" She asked, smiling thinly. "Am I not a witch. We'll deal with it when we're away from here. Come now."

Harry nodded, and the four of them left Privet Drive, and a gaggle of onlookers, behind them.