The next couple of days passed with James making disgusted faces and snide comments any time that Sadie and Sirius showed each other the slightest bits of affection, though it was clear that he was secretly pleased. Still, it got to be old rather quickly, and the couple found themselves hiding away frequently in either of their respective bedrooms. They did spend some time snogging, of course, but they more often than not elected to simply snuggle up together and talk about anything from how long it would take for Lily to finally give in and admit to having feelings for James to the random things they had each missed out on while they were not on speaking terms to, currently, various hopes and dreams for after they left Hogwarts.
"I still don't really know what I want to do career-wise," Sirius frowned. He was lying on his back with one arm wrapped around Sadie, holding her as close as possible as she curled up against his side with her head resting on his chest. Her fingers toyed with his shirt absently, a habit she had picked up years ago, and his heart warmed at the familiar feeling. "I think that the problem is that I don't fancy the idea of being tied down to a job right away, you know? I'd like to go out and experience some things. See the world and whatnot." He smiled grimly. "Of course, I'm sure I've been disinherited by now, so I suppose I'll need a job anyway."
Sadie sighed and tilted her face up to press a tender kiss to his jaw. "It'll work out. If nothing else, maybe we could get jobs abroad for a while."
"We?" He raised an eyebrow innocently, though his eyes were sparkling mischievously. "What makes you so sure that I want you to come with me?"
Smirking coyly, Sadie shifted until she was straddling his waist. She gave him a playful pout before leaning down to brush her lips against the side of his neck. He tensed slightly, and she smiled, moving to run the tip of her tongue along the outside of his ear before nipping softly at his earlobe. He inhaled sharply, his hands gripping her hips tightly, and she slowly pulled back just enough to pout at him again.
"You don't want me to come?"
Sirius cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded a bit strained when he spoke. "Oh, I suppose I could let you tag along. You know, at least for part of it."
She sighed dramatically and rolled off of him. "What a shame. And here I was hoping-oop!" She let out a squeak as Sirius suddenly flipped over on top of her and began placing hungry kisses along her neck and jaw.
"Tease," he growled, making her laugh and shiver at the same time. He moved up to press one long, slow kiss to her mouth before pulling back and smiling at her softly. "Come on, Sadie Mae, of course I want you to come with me. Anywhere and everywhere. And quite honestly, even if traveling doesn't work out...just getting to be with you is enough to make me the happiest person alive."
Feeling as though her heart might burst, Sadie couldn't keep the giddy smile off of her face as she reached up to pull his mouth back down to hers. Kissing Sirius was unlike anything she had ever experienced with Gideon. Sirius was just so...present and attentive, as though he was trying to commit every detail of every single moment with her to memory. The tenderness with which he held and caressed her was enough to make her knees go weak, and she noted with some embarrassment that her hands were shaking slightly as they gripped the back of his shirt. That thought was fleeting, however; it was difficult to feel self-conscious at all with him so transparently enamored with her. Her heart raced, and she couldn't help the soft sound of protest that escaped her throat when he pulled away to lean his forehead against hers.
He chuckled breathlessly at the noise and pressed one last chaste kiss to her lips before rolling off of her and wrapping his arms around her small frame. "Sorry, Love," he said sheepishly. "I've...uh...wanted this for a long time, you know? And now...well...it isn't taking a lot to get me...well..." He cleared his throat and adjusted his trousers with a grimace. Sadie flushed as she realized what he was getting at. "Excited. I just...need a break before things get too...you know...carried away..."
Sadie hesitated before speaking timidly. "Um...do you...want..." Sirius cut her off with a vehement shake of his head, his fingers tracing gentle circles on her lower back.
"You and I both know you aren't ready for that. It took you months to get there with Prewett, and I'll not have you forcing yourself into anything you're not comfortable with."
"Oh..." she mumbled. "I mean, I never actually...you know...got there with Gideon...but..."
His fingers stilled for a brief moment but quickly resumed as he spoke with a forced air of casualness. "Oh, I just assumed...since you were sleeping up in his dorm sometimes...I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions though..."
"I mean, it wasn't for lack of trying on his part." Sadie was somewhat surprised to hear the note of bitterness in her own voice. She'd never actually talked with anyone about the last few months of her relationship with Gideon. "We still went a bit further than I maybe was comfortable with, but he really wanted all of that, and I felt like I owed it to him after...what happened over Christmas, and it kept the peace. Well, I mean, not really...he was never really satisfied with what I was willing to give him, but I was doing my best to, you know, be there for him and to try to make it up to him since it's my fault his mother is dead, and she just wanted me to make her son happy, but obviously I failed at that, and I'm sure that's why he cheated, and it means that Caroline died for nothing, and..." She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, chest heaving as she fought against the feelings of panic and guilt building up inside her.
"Whoa, hey, hey, hey," Sirius whispered, turning onto his side so that he could hold her tightly against his chest. Inside, he was feeling a bit confused about some of the things she had said and a cold, hard fury at others, but he forced himself for her sake to push those feelings aside for now. He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair as she trembled and cried quietly into his chest.
It was several minutes before she had calmed down enough to take a deep, shuddering breath and pull back to glance up at him. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, but Sirius shook his head and used his thumb to brush a couple of tears away from her cheeks.
"Don't apologize," he said softly. "Do you feel up to...talking about it more?" She paused but then nodded slowly. He took a deep breath. "Okay...can we start with what actually happened over Christmas?"
Sadie swallowed hard and was quiet for a few moments before hesitantly recounting the events of Christmas Eve, from meeting the Prewett family to how adorable Bill and Charlie were to her brief conversation with Caroline as they did dishes. Once she had started, she found that she couldn't stop the words from pouring out of her mouth, and before she knew it, she was telling him every detail that she remembered about her encounter with Bellatrix and Caroline's subsequent actions. When she had finished, Sirius was shaking slightly as he held her, and his voice sounded strangely thick when he spoke.
"Look at me," he ordered, and Sadie slowly looked up to meet his gaze. "It was not your fault, do you hear me? Caroline made her choice, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing that you should have done differently. Do you realize that you saved two children's lives? I'm sure that if Caroline had to choose between her own death and those of her grandsons, she would sacrifice herself any day." Sadie let out a choked sob, and he pulled her into his chest once again. "Merlin, Sadie Mae, I can't believe you've been carrying all of this by yourself since Christmas," he whispered. "No wonder you haven't been yourself."
"I still failed her though." Her voice was muffled by his shirt. "I couldn't make Gideon happy, no matter how hard I tried...
Sirius's voice hardened. "I don't care what his mother did for you, that did not give him the right to pressure you into anything you weren't comfortable with." His words were laced with barely suppressed fury. "You said yourself that you tried as hard as you could. He's the one that pushed you away, and he's the one who decided it was okay to sleep around behind your back. None of that is on you."
"He was just trying to cope with his mother's death," Sadie defended weakly.
"I don't give a damn," he seethed. "And neither should you. His own trauma does not give him the excuse to traumatize others, especially after what you had already been through."
She pulled away and stared at him with wide eyes. His jaw was set angrily, and his eyes were clouded with rage. She hated seeing that look on him, though there was certainly part of her that was touched that he was so angry on her behalf. "Hey," she said softly, reaching up to stroke his cheek with her thumb. "It's fine. It's all over now, okay? Gideon is still healing, and...so am I. It's going to be a process, but..." She shrugged, and her lips quirked upward slightly. "Now I've got the world's most amazing boyfriend to lean on, right?"
Grudgingly, Sirius nodded and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair. "Damn straight."
Sadie gave a shaky laugh and spoke teasingly. "Good. Now, has said amazing boyfriend calmed down enough to kiss me again?"
He looked at her with a somber expression on his face. "Only if you promise that you will never let me even come close to pushing you into something you aren't ready for. Ever. Got it?"
She nodded, giving him a adoring smile. "Promise."
Taking a deep breath, he nodded in satisfaction before kissing her softly. At that moment, a loud tapping sound came from the window, and they both looked to see the same owl from the night Sadie and rescued Sirius staring at them patiently from outside.
"Atlas?" Sirius asked in confusion. Sadie was already standing up and hurrying to open the window. The owl stuck out its leg for her to remove the letter tied there before immediately taking off and soaring away. Sadie went back to sit on the bed next to Sirius as she opened the letter.
Leaky Cauldron, Friday, 3:00. Do not respond.
They glanced at each other and immediately nodded in understanding that they would, without a question, be there.
A/N: Ahhhh she's finally gotten some things off of her chest. About time! Sorry I'm a bit late with this update. My kids have been sick for the last week, and it's be hell lol. As always, thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! If there is anything that you are dying to see from this story, like a specific scene or trope or whatever, let me know, and I will see what I can do!
WindSongEnchantment: Aw thank you! So glad that you think so!
GingerGryffindor: I mean, every story needs a healthy amount of fluff, right? Haha I'm happy you liked it! That stuff is so fun to write!