Disclaimer is in chapter 1.

"What ARE you drinking?"

The sneering voice shook Xander out of his reverie, turning him to the left to see Draco glaring down at the table in front of him. Xander followed his gaze and shrugged.

"Coke. Why?"

Draco glared at the black liquid that was bubbling in front of Xander, "It looks like something Longbottom might brew up in class."

Xander looked at it for a moment, then had to smother a laugh. He really didn't think it was that bad, but he had to admit that the soft drink didn't look normal for the wizarding world. It had taken him hours of cajoling to get the Elves to locate a supply they could bring into the school.

"It's a non-magical drink," Xander said, "The most popular in the world, I think."

Draco sneered, "Which means what?"

"Well, it means billions of people drink this stuff every day, for one." Xander shrugged, taking a drink. "Sue me, I'm sick of pumpkin juice."

"So you drink this muggle swill?" Draco grabbed the glass out of Xander's hand, sniffing at it disdainfully.

"Come on, man, give me my drink back." Xander grabbed for it, but Draco pulled back out of his reach.

"You're a Slytherin, Harris. Show some dignity, for Merlin's sake."

"Don't knock it until you try it." Xander replied, rolling his eyes.

Draco quickly set the drink down, "As if I would ever taint myself with muggle poison."

Xander picked it back up, shrugging, "According to my mom, you're not far off on that. Still, if you haven't got the guts for it…"

Draco had the drink out of his hands before Xander could blink, making him wonder for a moment if the blond had somehow magicked it from him.

"I'll show you who's gutless!" Draco muttered, putting the goblet up to his mouth and inhaling the drink.

"No! Draco don't drink it that fast!" Xander blurted, far too late.

Draco's victorious smirk vanished in a painful grimace as the soda back up on him, foaming through his lungs and nasal passages. He held it for a moment, then snorted painfully back into the goblet as cream colored foam erupted from his nose.

"Arrrgh!" Draco gasped painfully, clutching at his throat, "You've poisoned me! You bastard, you poisoned me!"

Xander disdainfully pushed the goblet away, "I'm not the guy who just filled someone's drink with snot."

"Mr. Harris!" Snape growled, "What have you done to Mr. Malfoy!?"

"Apparently I let him steal my bloody drink." Xander muttered, "He'll live. Could I get another coke please?"

Snape blinked, eyeing the new Goblet that appeared in front of Harris. "This is what Draco drank?"

Xander nodded, taking a drink as Draco kept gagging and gasping beside him. "It's a drink, you're not supposed to inhale it."

Draco's melodramatic actions had attracted the attention of pretty much the entire great hall, including the Headmaster by this point.

"What seems to be the problem, Professor Snape?" The old man asked, eyes dancing in amusement as he eyed Draco's convulsions.

"Mr. Harris seems to have corrupted the house elves, Headmaster." Snape said sourly, "and this muggle concoction appears to have disabled Mr. Malfoy."

"I believe that Mr. Malfoy will be fine, Professor." Dumbledore said, smiling at Draco's antics. "May I?"

Xander blinked, then nodded and handed the goblet to the old man. "Sure, knock yourself out."

"I haven't done that since that time in the sixties," Dumbledore smiled as he took a deep drink. "Ah. They've changed the flavor since I sampled it from Mr. Pemberton's soda fountain. Alas, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid we don't permit drinks of this nature in Hogwarts."

Xander blinked, "Huh?"

"Kola nuts and Coca leaves are sources of caffeine and other substances we don't allow in Hogwarts."

"Coca leaves?" Xander blinked, looking down at the drink, "I don't think they've put those in Coke for a hundred years."

"Ah. Well, yes I suppose that does place my age a little more specifically than I would like." Dumbledore smiled beatifically. "However, we don't permit caffeine here either, and I presume that is still an ingredient?"

Xander pouted, looking down at the drink, "Aw, but the caffeine free version sucks."

"Be that as it may, I'm going to have to inform the elves not to supply you with anymore."

Xander glared sourly at Draco, "Thanks for nothing you drama queen."

A new Goblet of pumpkin juice appeared in front of him as the Headmaster and Professor turned to head back to the head table, leaving Xander to sigh in annoyance. He glared at Draco, then again at the Headmaster's retreating back.

'Oh, this calls for payback.' Xander thought in annoyance, 'Messing with my junk food… buggers.'

The other schools were due to arrive the next day, and the buzz around the school continued to grow as the time grew nearer. Xander found himself caught up in the excitement, and he noticed that even Wednesday seemed a little eager to see the new students. Of course, that just meant that she was slightly less flat and dry when discussing the coming tournament.

His sparring with Harry had progressed well beyond his skills, much to his annoyance, so he was looking forward to something that might distract Harry a little as well. The blasted guy was blowing through his shields without trying, and while Xander's physical conditioning was far better, Harry moved like a scalded cat.

If he could keep Harry from knocking him out in the first few minutes, Xander could wear him out, but it was a real trial. Basically all Xander could do was run Harry around the dueling ring until Harry collapsed in a sweating, wheezing, pile. By this point Xander was only in moderately better shape himself, and could barely mount the energy for a stunner. Even so, this tactic did net him a roughly even win record for the moment at least.

The problem was that Harry seemed to absorb tactics and spells like a sponge, turning moves that Xander spent weeks learning back on him after one or two times just seeing them. Xander didn't know much about fighting, despite everything, but he could recognize a tactical genius when he saw one.

Luckily, Harry was pants at strategy. He didn't catch on to Xander's 'wear him down' strategy for almost two weeks, and showed no sign of working out a counter besides hitting harder and faster at the start of a fight, which simply wore him out all the quicker.

Luckily, Xander's other projects were moving along with more satisfaction for him personally than his sparring was. The TV idea was pretty much worked out on paper, and now merely needed to be put together for real. He couldn't do that until the next summer break, however, much to his annoyance. He really wished he'd been able to work that out a couple months earlier.

He'd been working on a new shield spell in the meantime, however, based on his experiences from the World Cup and some stuff from one of the military sourcebooks he'd purchased for gaming with Jessie. The arithmancy on that one was incredibly convoluted, much to his annoyance, but with Hermione's help he was starting to feel like maybe they might be able to pull it off.

So far he hadn't been able to cast the damn thing, however, so Xander guessed that there was still a fault in the formula.

All this, and Halloween was still to come. It was shaping up to be a very busy year.

The entire school was gathered outside, waiting for the arrival of the visiting schools when someone pointed up into the air and screeched.

Xander looked up at some dots in the sky, eyes widening as they approached.

"Whoa. Cool."

The ornate chariot flew gracefully into the grounds, pulled by a long line of flying horses.

"Pegasii?" Xander blinked, remembering his dungeons and dragons books.

"Abraxan." Wednesday corrected, "Note the size."

Xander had to give her the point, he'd never heard of Pegasii the size of elephants before. "Nice."

"Indeed." Wednesday nodded.

The carriage made its landing, and what seemed like the entire school of Beauxbatons poured out, and were greeted by the professors in turn. That procession had barely gotten underway, however, when another scream rang out and the attention turned to the lake.

Xander raised his eyebrows as he noted the disturbance in the water, large poles appearing from the lake and rising quickly to become masts with full sail rigging as a sailing vessel broached the surface like a submarine on full emergency surfacing.

"Neat," He said blandly, having long gotten used to the weird and bizarre scenes that came with living at Hogwarts.

"The Dutchman," Wednesday said from his side, "Legends say that it's named after the vessel that ferries dead sailors across the veil to the other side."

"All I can say is that it's a damned good thing that subs don't have windows," Xander grinned, "That thing would give navy sailors nightmares that the Russians couldn't hope to match."

Wednesday rolled her eyes, sighing deeply.

Both schools had come to put on a show, something that should have been clear by their arrival alone, Xander supposed. When the door to the great hall burst open and the girls of Beauxbatons strode in he realized that the show wasn't over by a long shot, and what was worse, there was apparently a Veela encore.

He slammed his Occlumency shields into place at the first hint of allure, and was relieved when the allure didn't increase past a light mental caress. He pegged the source quickly, a tall blond striding in the center of the first group with a haughty look on her face. She was drawing the focus of every male in the room, but nothing more than that, and he was incredibly grateful as he was entirely too aware of how much she could be blasting into the room.

With his shields up her allure was less painful than the incessant drumming of the Durmstrang procession, though he had to admit that the acrobatics were impressive.

More interesting to Xander, and unless he missed his guess to Wednesday as well, was the appearance of Professor Hardy at the back of the final procession. The man nodded to them both from where he moved to stand, then calmly looked out over the rest of the hall.

As things calmed down, Albus Dumbledore looked around and rose to his feet.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, ghosts and — most particularly — guests," said Dumbledore, beaming around at the foreign students. "I have great pleasure in welcoming you all to Hogwarts. I hope and trust that your stay here will be both comfortable and enjoyable."

Xander heard a muffled snort of derision from the direction of the Ravenclaw tables and glanced over to see one of the French girls wrapping herself tighter in a thick shawl. He sympathized with the girl, being a Cali boy himself, but also noted that she wasn't making many friends from the looks of the glares leveled at her from the girls around her and over at the Gryff table.

"The tournament will be officially opened at the end of the feast," said Dumbledore. "I now invite you all to eat, drink, and make yourselves at home!"

The feast appeared, and the students began to mingle as they ate, most of the Durmstrang students gravitating to the Slytherin tables even as the Beauxbatons group tended to focus themselves around the Claws. Xander found himself crowded a bit as several snooty types shoved in between himself and Draco, talking in mixed language to the Malfoy scion who answered back in Bulgarian much to Xander's surprise.

Xander's own language skills were mostly limited to English, Latin, and a few obscure examples of magical languages that had come up in his studies. Bulgarian, unfortunately, wasn't among them and so he just shoved over a bit more and kept eating. His mind was more on getting back at Dumbledore and Malfoy for the loss of his soda than anything else, anyway.

He had an idea along those lines, but it was going to be tough to get them ready for the next day, cause he wanted as big an audience as he could get and that would be at the Halloween feast just before the champions were announced.

He finished up quickly and made his way out of the hall, he had a lot of work to do.

Xander was surprised when he was met partway by Wednesday, who was looking moderately disgruntled to his eyes. Of course, that just meant that she looked blank faced as usual to most people. She fell into step at his side, and he didn't pause as she matched his pace, the duo sweeping from the hall in silence.

Wednesday was surprised when Xander didn't speak as they left the hall, she had seen the recognition in his eyes when he saw her state of mind and expected him to question it. It wasn't a particularly big deal, of course, she just had a limited tolerance for giggling fools which, unfortunately, was something the French girls had in plenty amongst them.

She unconsciously plotted a path to the library, assuming that was where Xander would be going as well since that was where they spent almost all the time they were together, but was surprised again when he slid a hand along the small of her back and guided her in another direction. This time she was impressed at least as much as she was curious, Xander normally couldn't decide to turn left or right without spewing reams of mindless drivel.

She held her own tongue as well, her curiosity warring with itself as part of her wanted to know where they were going, and another part wanted to see what Xander was up to and how he would handle whatever it was.

She remained silent.

They came to an empty stretch of corridor, and he motioned her to wait for him as he began to pace back and forth, muttering under his breath. Wednesday might have thought that he's lost his mind, except that she had never been entirely convinced that he had one to begin with. Before she could speak up, however, she was shocked to see a door appear from nowhere.

Xander grinned and took her hand, pulling her through it and into what looked like the most complete research laboratory she'd ever seen.

"Like it?" Xander grinned.

"Impressive."

"It's the Room of Requirement," Xander told her, "The elves told us about it when Harry and I went looking for a place to spar. I guess it's enchanted to become whatever you need."

"I see," She said, moving slowly between the glass covered steel tables, "And why do you need this, precisely?"

"I need a little help with a prank."

Wednesday raised an eyebrow, "A prank?"

He nodded.

"You're asking ME to help with a prank?"

Xander again nodded.

She stared at him for a long moment, noting finally that Xander was getting nervous. Perfect. That was precisely as it should be.

"Fine. Who are we pranking?"

"Well, I'm hoping to catch Draco with it," Xander admitted, "But my main target is Mein Fuhrer Dumbledore."

Wednesday winced ever so slightly, then pinched the bridge of her nose as she exhaled in annoyance. "Is this over the Coke incident?"

"No one gets between me and my junk food!" Xander proclaimed, "Today it's Coke, Tomorrow it could be Twinkies!"

Wednesday sighed, "It's like you're a shorter, less handsome, version of Uncle Fester."

"Oy!" Xander objected. "Isn't that a little uncalled for?"

"Perhaps, you are still growing after all."

Xander groaned. Sometimes Wednesday could be really mean.

The Addams scion, for her part, sighed and looked around. "What exactly are you planning? Second year notwithstanding, I have a difficult time imagining what sort of spell you could get past the Headmaster's gaze."

Xander forced a smirk, though he was still smarting a little from her earlier comment, "Not going to get any spell past him, not going to even try."

"Then what?"

Xander grinned, "I'm going to show him exactly the respect he deserves."

"Oh dear."

It was after curfew when Xander stumbled back into the Slytherin dorms, his own version of the Marauder's map helping him sneak in without being spotted. He was only mildly surprised to find that the room was filled with Slytherin and Durmstrang celebrants, all of them talking about the coming tournament. They all fell quiet for a moment when he entered, but when they realized that he wasn't a teacher the noise swiftly returned.

"Where have you been, Harris?" Draco demanded, one of the few who kept their attention on him.

"Working." Xander said, smirking slightly. He really couldn't help it, though the nerves in his stomach were doing their best to wipe the look from his face.

"At this time of night? On what?"

"Transfiguration."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Pull the other one, Harris. McGonagall hasn't assigned any extra work yet this term."

"Never said it was for class." Xander smirked again, though he mentally berated himself for gloating before the prank was even pulled. He supposed it was time to redirect Malfoy anyway, "What's with all the people anyway?"

"Durmstrang students simply wanted to associate themselves with the right kind of people," Malfoy puffed himself up.

"How'd you get in then?" Xander quipped, this time smirking cause he had wanted to put then drama queen in his place ever since the choking incident.

"I'm warning you, Harris…!" Draco growled out, not noticing that he had attracted the attention of much of the common room.

"I always feel guilty after our 'discussions', Draco." Xander said, shaking his head as he made his way past. "A battle of wits with you always makes me feel like such a bully."

Draco frowned, confused by the statement. By the time the snickers and titters from the crowd penetrated his skull, however, Xander was gone from the room.

The next morning found most of the school turned out in the Great Hall, watching the cup where it burned brightly behind the age line Dumbledore had cast, most watching as a brave and foolhardy few threw their lot to the flames in the hope of glory and galleons.

Xander, for his part, was just as nervous as if he were actually entering the tournament. He and Wednesday had spent much of the night transfiguring the things he needed for his prank, but now he was second guessing himself. What he had planned wasn't exactly subtle, but Xander wasn't such a fool that he believed most of the Witches and Wizards present would figure out the full depth of it. He just hoped that enough did to make it really sing.

He paused by the Gryff table on his way by, joining them as they watched the twins take a potion and attempt to bypass the age line.

"Do they really think that's going to work?" He asked Harry.

Harry shrugged, "The twins are pretty brilliant."

"Oh honestly, Harry. You can't actually believe…" Hermione was cut off when the twins were thrown clear of the circle, "There? See?"

Harry laughed with everyone else, including the twins, when they stood up sporting long white beards. "Hey, they wanted to try."

"Sense isn't a word in their dictionary." Xander smirked.

"Too right." Ron snorted. He wasn't really comfortable with the Slytherin standing at the table, but even he couldn't say anything against this one.

"I'm just thankful that I'm too young," Harry grinned, "Otherwise you know my name would be in there somehow. This year I get to sit back and watch someone else be the hero."

Xander barked out a laugh, drawing the attention of many around him. "You do know that you just jinxed yourself, right Harry?"

Harry grimaced, looking worried.

"Oh leave him alone, Xander. Harry, don't listen to him," Hermione said, shaking her head. "He has an execrable sense of humor."

"I'd object to that, if I knew what it meant."

Hermione shot him a glare as several students chuckled.

"Anyway," Xander winked at her, waving to the table in general. "Time for breakfast."

She huffed at him, but Xander was soon lost in the crowd and Hermione sat down and shook her head. "He's such a child."

Unknown to her Xander had back tracked as Wednesday calmly cast a few mild Confundus charms and some weak compulsions in his wake. Several students noted Xander's passing in their minds, even as he turned and walked the other direction. At the Slytherin tables, several would swear he sat down to eat breakfast with them.

In actuality he stepped outside the Great Hall and ducked into a nearby broom closet where he found the transfigured items he had stashed there earlier in the morning.

When the doors to the hall opened, no one took much notice, the two large slabs of wood and metal smoothly swung on their greased and enchanted hinges to reveal the figure behind and Xander stepped into the hall with a confident stride that he simply did not feel. His heart in his throat, and his stomach curled in on itself, he knew that even if he did everything perfectly he could crash and burn here based entirely on the reactions of others.

It was a horrifying thought, and even as he paused inside the door to look first left at the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables and then right at Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, he berated himself for not realizing that very fact earlier.

It was too late, however, and he was committed. He reminded himself that he knew his targets, and was confident in their reactions and so he brought up his armor shod hands as his breath roared in his ears.

'Trust Wednesday.' He thought as he waited a moment, feeling the terror slide away and the persona he was wearing tighten around him.

Then he parted his hands, smirking slightly as he saw Wednesday's wand twitch with perfect timing. Like Moses parting the red sea, the Gryffindor table slid sideways into the Puff's even as the Slytherin's slid into the Claw's, eliciting yells of shock from the students who were suddenly crushed into each other.

'Bless you, Wens,' Xander thought, taking another roaring breath as his heart settled. 'My game now.'

The center of the hall was now clear of obstruction, with a width of over a dozen feet and only Xander standing within it. He began to stride toward the head table with a confidence he was only just beginning to fake.

The professor's, of course, noted him immediately, but said nothing as they drew their wands in a defensive measure.

Xander's pulse quickened again, but hi remained focused on Dumbledore. 'Come on, old man. Do what I know you're going to do. Play the peacemaker. Play IT.'

When Dumbledore brought up his hand, stalling the curses that Xander knew his own head of house was contemplating, Xander let out a breath of relief. It roared a little louder, and finally brought him to the attention of the students.

Three first years shrieked when they spotted him, two from Hufflepuff and one from Gryffindor. He smirked under the helm he wore. 'Easy to tell they're muggle born.'

Others turned to look and the muggle-born students reacted with instant recognition, some startled, some bemused, and a few smiling openly as they realized it was a gag. It HAD to be a gag. The pureblood's, however, were all confused until the whispers from the muggle-borns began to circulate, and then they began to react with mixed horror and utter confusion.

"Now THAT is a Dark Lord," One Ravenclaw said, whistling with an amused tone.

The call was quickly picked up, and the whispered words 'Dark Lord' and 'Sith' etched down the hall as Lord Vader began the long walk to the head table.

Xander ignored it all, his focus was on two people. The first was the Headmaster, though from the returned twinkle in the old man's eyes, Xander suspected that he had seen the movies and knew that this was all a show at this point.

'Perfect. This would lose a lot of its fun if he didn't get the joke.' Xander thought with a malicious grin.

The second person he focused on was Draco Malfoy, however, and here Xander knew he was going to have to play the role to the hilt and rely on Draco to shove his foot in his mouth. He hated having to rely on Draco for anything, but if he had to do it that was the thing to count on, Xander reflected.

His cadence ceased as Xander reached the front of the teacher's table, where Snape was glaring at him as McGonagall and the others looked with confusion between him and the headmaster.

"Well, well," Dumbledore spoke up first, "What brings the Dark Lord Vader himself to Hogwarts this fine Halloween?"

Not quite the perfect setup, but as good as Xander had hoped and far, far better than he'd feared. His breath roared through the helm, charmed as it was to make his breathing loud and forced and also to alter the timbre of his voice. He dropped to one knee, cape flowing behind him as he planted his fists to the floor and bowed his head deeply.

"I come to ask thy bidding, my Master."

Shocked silence on the hall, and Xander risked a glance up, his eyes hidden behind the transfigured helm. It was all he could do not to roll over cackling in delight. The old man's face looked shocked, like he'd just tasted something particularly sour as his eyes bulged momentarily.

"WHAT!?"

Xander closed his eyes for a moment and grinned under the mask. 'Thank you Lord, for making Draco Malfoy such a fool.'

"You MUST be joking! This is ludicrous! No self-respecting Dark Lord bows to HIM!"

Xander rose smoothly to his feet, all in a single fluid motion, and turned on the young man. His cape flowed out behind him, charmed with some singularly useless but admittedly cool fashion charms he'd gotten from Sirius Black's additions to the Grimoire.

"You should not speak of that which you know nothing, BOY." Xander said in his most condescending tone. Ironically, he noted, he'd learned it from Draco. This was the critical juncture, he knew, and Xander locked eyes with Draco who was already quivering with rage.

"You don't even have a wand," Draco smirked nastily, "Some Dark Lord you're supposed to be."

"Do not be so proud of this magical terror you hide behind," Xander replied back, his inner geek jumping up and down in pure unadulterated glee even as he kept his eyes locked with Malfoy's. 'Any second now. Just one more… push…', "It pales in significance before the POWER of the Force."

Draco, seeing an unarmed man in front of him, was finally pushed too far and went for his wand with an impressively fast draw. Fast enough that Xander knew he would have no chance of getting his own out first.

Luckily, he wasn't planning on it.

'NOW!' He thought desperately as Draco's intent flashed in his eyes, imprinting itself on Xander's foremind through the passive Legilimency he'd begun to tap.

"Protego." Xander whispered as he spread his hand wide, the word not being etched past due to the filtering charms he and Wednesday had placed on it.

"Stupefy! Stupefy!" Draco snapped, his wand moving like lightning.

The small plate sized Protego shield snapped into place between them as Xander channeled his power through the tiny hold out wand he'd strapped to his wrist. He could see Draco's intent and moved his hand to intercept the spell, deflecting the stunners off into the walls of the hall. Draco, and most everyone else, stared in stunned shock as Xander flipped his hand over, canceled the Protego, and whispered another spell.

"Accio Wand."

The Accio charm was quite tough, but it was also of the same family as the Depulso charm, which Xander had spent the early weeks of the summer learning. Making it harder, however, was the fact that he was using his tiny hold out wands, which really didn't focus very well over anything but point blank ranges.

Had Draco's grip been even moderately firm, it wouldn't have worked. Against a stunned and utterly bewildered fourth year, however, the spell functioned perfectly and the wand was ripped from the blond boy's hand and flew quite cleanly into Xander's.

'This is SO FREAKING AWESOME!' Xander thought as he forced himself to remain still.

The next move was his, the shock and awe of his seemingly easy use of wandless magic having stunned the wizards around him. He took a chance, knowing that if Dumbledore had seen the movies he would have to react, but if he hadn't, Xander suspected he was about to look really stupid.

He took one step toward Draco, drawing himself up to his full height (which was enhanced by the extra thick heals in his transfigured boots) and menacingly brought up his left hand in a claw grip as if he were squeezing down on something soft.

"NO!" Dumbledore roared, coming to his feet in a rare moment of panic for the old man.

Xander paused, showing no fear of the gnarled wand that had appeared in the old man's hand. Thank God for the armor, Xander through, because he was almost literally quaking in his boots at the sudden rush of power Dumbledore had exuded.

"As you wish…" Xander said, relaxing back. "My Master."

Albus Dumbledore found himself in an unusual position. He KNEW this was a prank, but even so he couldn't stop himself from reacting when the figure moved to strangle Draco from a distance. He suspected it was a bluff, but now it looked like he believed the man to be a threat. Albus had to admit, it was a masterful bit of acting, though he was truly fascinated by the apparent use of wandless magic. How had the prankster pulled that off?

In any case, he had to expose this now before it went any further. There were too many people present who simply didn't know anything about Muggle entertainment, and the last thing he wanted was rumors that he was commanding Dark Lords to reach the ears of the press.

"That's quite enough, young man." He said, his eyes twinkling again as he took a calculated gamble. He expected that the person was male, and most likely a student, obviously muggle-born or with close ties to the muggle world at least. Unfortunately, the helm prevented him from seeing the eyes of the prankster, and so he couldn't divine anything via that method. "A very impressive prank, but you're scaring the children."

The 'Dark Lord' turned and looked behind him, and noted that quite a few students were indeed shaking in fear, eyes wide with horror. Xander briefly wondered if maybe he'd gone a tad too far.

'Oh Well,' He thought, suddenly smirking. 'They ain't seen nothing yet.'

"Indeed." He said aloud, turning his back to the teacher's table. "Perhaps they are right to fear me."

"Enough of that." Dumbledore ordered sternly.

"Very well," Xander smirked, getting in his last jibe. "My Master."

He didn't have to turn around to know that Dumbledore had that same sour look on his face again. Xander smirked uncontrollably, his cheeks threating to split.

"Then I suppose I must bid the school…" He said in a slow and threating voice, "A very… Happy Halloween."

The students looked perplexed for a moment, then as one seemed to say 'Huh!?' as Xander drew both his wands in a lightning fast movement and raised them into the air.

"NOX!"

The floating candles blinked out in fast succession, Xander's spell combined with Wednesday's backup casting, and plunged the hall into darkness. Xander twisted, planting a hand on the Slytherin table as he mentally canceled the transfiguration on his armor, returning it to its natural Green and Silver fabric in a flowing instant.

"Ignis!" Dumbledore roared, bringing all the lights back.

The people in the Hall looked around in skittish confusion.

The Dark Lord of the Sith was gone.

"Seal the room! He's in here somewhere!" Severus Snape snarled, rising to his feet.

Beside Draco, Xander took a sip of a goblet of pumpkin juice. "Now THAT was a Muggle's idea of a Dark Lord. Hey! Headmaster! Cool Halloween show!"

Albus glanced at the Slytherin table and blinked. He nodded slowly, then returned the boy's infectious smile. "Indeed."

Louder, he addressed the hall, "I hope everyone enjoyed the little display. This was a marvelous depiction of a character from a Muggle entertainment entitled Star Wars, a Muggle idea of a Dark Lord if you will. It also shows another entrancing muggle custom, the Halloween Masquerade. I hope that everyone has learned a little more about our muggle brethren."

With a wave of his wand, Albus returned the tables to their places and unlocked the large doors that had swung shut at Snape's command.

"Headmaster, you're letting him get away…" Severus hissed softly.

"Nonsense, my boy." Albus smiled, though it was a little forced. "I don't believe that our Lord Vader is going to be skipping out on classes."

Snape blinked, bewildered and leaned in closer. "Surely you don't believe that it was a student? Headmaster, he used wandless magic…"

"That was most impressive, wasn't it?" Albus smiled, this time more genuinely. "You are wrong, however. It was wanded, the feel of the two are quite distinct. I must admit, however, that I have no idea where or how he was hiding the wand."

Snape stared incredulously for a moment, "You're actually IMPRESSED with this?"

"And you aren't?" Albus returned, equally incredulous, though with more amusement in his tone. "It was masterfully played, Severus. Ah, alas you've never seen Star Wars, have you? You should go sometime, they still replay it on occasion in muggle theatres."

Severus Snape snorted, "I bet it was Potter. This grandiose posturing is just like him."

"Severus, Severus," Albus chided, "You really must get over this foible of yours. It will lead you to a bad end."

The Potions Master grumped as he dropped back into his seat.

"Now that the entertainment is ended," Albus said, louder for the hall to hear, "Let us return to the main event of the day, shall we? We only have twelve more hours to accept names for the Tri Wizard Tournament."

Slowly, the population of the hall settled back to normal.