Not There

"He wont be there," Hilde murmured, her face falling into a frown as she struggled to clasp her necklace around her long graceful neck. Duo stepped away from the full-length mirror, where he had been checking his black suit and his long braided hair, to help her with the task. After clasping the necklace he brushed her satin black hair to one side of her neck and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in his lover's throat. Hilde could feel the warmth of a single tear slide down his cheek onto her shoulder. She stretched an arm around to run her fingers through his hair in what she hoped could comfort her fiancée.

"Why?" Duo choked out. "How?" his eyes clouded with pain. "I could understand why, I think. I might not be able to do the same if it were you," at the thought Duo held the love of his life tighter, wrapping his arm around her stomach, the rounding barely noticeable at only two months. "But, he can't not be there. He can't-" he choked on a sob and simply buried his face further in her neck.

Hilde bit her lip to keep from sobbing as well. She had been a best friend to Hilde. But what Duo and Relena shared was something much more. Perhaps even more sacred than love, she had been his princess. And she was gone.

A timid knocking made the mourning couple look towards the door. Duo wiped his eyes, leaving the tracks on his reddened cheeks. Hilde did not bother to hide the silent tears. "C-come in," she sniffed and waited to see who it was. A tall person, the age of Duo at twenty walked in. He carried himself like he always did. Aloof and silently, he walked, the one green eye visible was the only indication of the pain he felt.

Hilde stood and put her hands out to the new arrival. They clasped hands and then gathered in an embrace. "God Trowa. I'm so glad you made it," Hilde whispered, pulling away and wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. Duo walked from where he had been and stood with his hand at the small of Hildes back.

"Is," Duo looked behind Trowa towards the door. "Is Quatre here?" he asked quietly, almost hoping that the young Arabic was not, this would be as hard on him as any of them perhaps. He grimaced then when Trowa nodded his head slowly.

"Yes, the Little One is here," he stated sadly, using his pet name for his closest friend and lover. Trowas hands clenched as he thought of his innocent love and the trip he had made to be here today. The trip had not been easy on the innocent man. He had wept against Trowas shoulder until his eyes were puffy and he had no more tears. With only about an hour remaining of their trip, he had fallen asleep, exhausted by his emotions. Trowa had tried to convince him to join him in the visit to Duo and Hildes. But Quatre had refused and stayed behind to look around, to commit to memory different small things. To torture himself.

"Does he-?" Duo began.

"I don't know how or why, but yes, he blames himself," Trowa almost spat as he began to pace. "If the truth be told none of us are not to blame, but the thought that he would only see his blame distresses me." Trowa shoved his fists in the pockets of his own suit and turned back to Duo and Hilde. He spoke again and there was a new glint in his eye. Not a tear, it was not of pain or regret, it was almost hatred, anger certainly. "If any of us is more to blame than the other, it's him," he placed emphasis on his last word.

Duos eyes hardened as he believed he knew who him was. Hilde thought she knew as well and gasped in surprise, the sound filling the tense silence.

"And, who would that be Trowa?" Duo asked, barely keeping the chill out of his voice. Hildes gaze danced between the two, as she held her breath waiting for Trowas answer.

"You know as well as I do that if Heero had been there-" Trowa was not given the chance to finish as Duos back shot ramrod strait and his face hardened.

"Leave. Get out of my house, now," Duos finger pointed towards the door and his eyes flashed with anger. "The servant will show you out. As long as you believe that, I can't allow you in my presence."

Trowa said nothing. He simply inclined his head slightly to Hilde and left, ignoring Duo as though he did not exist.