A sailor's mouth!

Hermione woke on the dot at six. Pushing aside the covers, she crept out of the room and made her way down to the common room. Unnoticed by her, another figure was following her. Once she got to Malfoy's room, she looked around to see that nobody was there and then knocked twice and entered without waiting for an answer. Outside, Parvati Patil was rubbing her hands in glee. This would make very good news indeed!

Draco Malfoy was sleeping soundly. Hermione tried waking him up, but he either couldn't hear her or he was just being a jerk. Exasperated, she conjured up a bucket of water and poured it all over him. He woke up spluttering and spitting, "Granger!" He screamed. "Are you out of your friggin' mind, you bleeding imbecile?" panicking, she quickly cast a silencing spell on the room. "No Malfoy, you are out of your friggin' mind! Do you want to wake the whole gryffindor house? Merlin knows I'm in enough trouble because of you now just you listen to me. Get dressed and be out in 15 minutes. Some of these people are early risers." "If I don't Granger?" he asked silkily. " It's an order, " she snapped.

15 minutes later, Draco and Hermione were under Harry's cloak, inching their way towards the portrait hole with Malfoy muttering curses under his breath all the way. Once they were out, they set off at a fast pace to the headmaster's office. But when they reached, Hermione was in a quandary. She didn't know the password. Clearing her throat, she said, "cockroach cluster! Acid drops! Puking pastilles! Peppermint pops!" She gave up and looked at Malfoy frustatedly. "Some things bookworm granger doesn't know after all." He said softly smirking. "You get us in if you're so clever!" she snapped. His face fell a fraction but he composed it quickly. "Watch a master at work Granger." He said silkily. She just rolled her eyes at his pompousness. "Lemon drops." he said. Of course, the fates would have it that way. The gargoyles moved.

Dumbledore looked like he was expecting their visit. Passing lemon drops around, he listened patiently while Hermione related everything that had happened. He turned to Malfoy. "I can understand that Madam Pomfrey can be a little fussy at times, but…" "A little?" Draco scoffed incredulously. "Yes, well, be that as it may, there are other things to discuss. Since Ms. Granger made you her slave, you will no longer be a slytherin. You will be a student of gryffindor. You will be taking the same classes as Ms.Granger except of course he muggle studies and the quidditch practice. As such, you are not yet accepted into gryffindor, so both of you will have separate rooms above the gryffindor tower. You will be informed when the rooms are ready." He informed them. For a moment, Hermione almost felt sorry for Malfoy. But she immediately remembered all the times he'd made her cry and stopped herself before she did something stupid like release him from the curse.

Once they were out of the headmaster's office, she made her way straight to the library, Malfoy in tow. "Granger, do you realize that I haven't had anything to eat in over 48 hours?" He barked. "Don't crib, malfoy, you can have your breakfast in the library. Obviously, you can't sit at your table and I don't suppose you'd like to sit at the gryffindor table. Would you?" he shuddered visibly. "That's what I thought." she smirked. Once inside the library, she went straight to the restricted section and whispered a few words. Immediately there was a sound of leaves rustling and the shelves clicked. Pulling out a dozen or so books, she immediately made her way to the dark arts aisle where she settled herself and started reading. Malfoy conjured up a table and sat opposite her. Soon, both were immersed in their books. They were very surprised when dobby popped up, bearing their breakfast. Malfoy heaved a sigh of relief at that. "I was starting to think that she was going to starve me to death." "Don't think I wasn't tempted Malfoy. I just have other things planned for you." She remarked. Unnoticed by them, Dobby had inserted each into their piles. Once breakfast was over, they went back to their reading.

Hermione was halfway into her third book now, the one Dobby had snuck in. she read the book at her usual fast pace until that made her eyes go wide, her breath to shorten and her to repeat "Oh! No!" over and over. Draco looked up from his book and muttered; "now she goes mad." Leaning over, he asked "you don't have a mental disease that you haven't told me about, have you? Because if you have, I'm not your slave anymore. It says so in this book." He said holding up 'Slave regulations: revised. By Dobbius Doofus in collaboration with Albus Dumbledore.'

Another of dobby's contributions. Seeing that she was still shaking her head and repeating those words like a mantra, he snatched the book away from her and ran his eyes down the page until he came to the passage that made her behave like a person with O.C.D. His reaction was somewhat similar to hers. Only, he added 'oh! Shit!' to her litany and started banging his head on the table.

It was this strange sight that Harry and Ron came upon when they entered the library. Concerned, they went over to Hermione's side. "What's wrong Mione?" Ron asked. She looked up at Ron and if possible, her eyes went even wider and she followed Malfoy's warped example of head exercise. Ginny, who'd come in behind the boys, took the book that they'd discarded, and read it. Looking up, she uttered three words. "YOU'RE. SO. SCREWED." "Why?" asked Zabini who'd just come in. Harry took the book from Ginny and read the offending out loud:

"In the instance where there are only two people participating in the curse, the finden curse, has a very peculiar effect on these individuals. It is seen that at the termination of the curse, there is either a very profound love for each other, or they end up being bitter enemies. Another queer feature of this curse is that the participants fall in love irrespective of their genders.

Paradoxically, when the participants hate each other, it usually results in death of either one or both of the participants. However, it is not known what causes these extreme forms of passion. (See below for statistics on the curse.)

Cases registered: 4352

Cases resulting in marriage: 4348

Cases leading to death: 4

Homosexual marriages as a cause of this curse: 1238…"

"Don't worry Hermione, we're here for you. We wont let him marry you. I'll make sure to kill him before he gets any ideas in his head." Ron told her comfortingly. " Thanks a lot Ron, but I'll kill him myself. I'll be the first one to know anyway. "Granger, ever heard of 'pride goes before a fall'?" Malfoy asked silkily. "Good you know that one Malfoy, you can remember it later on when you fall." She shot back at him. His handsome face contorted with rage but, before he could say any thing, Dobby popped up. "Miss Hermione, the headmaster's is wanting to see you now." he piped. Asking the guys to wait for her, she and Malfoy made their way to see dumbledore. "Mr. Malfoy, it has been decided that you will sit at the gryffindor table for all your meals henceforth and of course, your rooms are ready. Dobby will take you to them. You may leave." Since this was a clear dismissal, they couldn't ask about the curse. Just as they were leaving, Dumbledore said, "oh, and miss Granger, I suggest you read today's edition of the tattler. Most informative." Dobby and the others were waiting outside for them. He led the way up gryffindor towers myriad passages until they came across a portrait of the three musketeers. Saying the password, 'something stupid', they all entered…

…And were dumbstruck. A St mungo's hospital ward had more cheer than this room. Stark staring white walls, no curtains, no rugs, no fireplace, no nothing. Absolutely bare. Millicent strolled in then holding a newspaper in her hand. "You want to watch out for that Patil girl you know, she is out to ruin you." she remarked casually holding out the paper. Hermione took it from her and read it.

"Students of hogwarts who were still apprehensive about inter house romance may now rest easy. The prince of slytherin and the queen of gryffindor are now a pair. Indeed, hermione granger, residing bookworm of hogwarts was so besotted with hogwarts rakehell Draco malfoy that she performed a complicated spell that made him her slave. All this, to save him, from the clutches of Pansy Parkinson, another slytherin. According to our sources, ms granger and Mr. malfoy shared a broom ride soon after he was rescued. They were so happy to be back together again that they immediately took some time off to themselves. In fact, ms granger couldn't be found after the rescue of Mr. malfoy. Mr. malfoy too was reported missing (again) from the hospital wing. Another student reports that today morning, at about 6 a m ms granger entered an invisible room in the gryffindor common room. Soon after, a silencing charm had been placed on the room. They remained there for about 20 minutes. When they finally emerged, they were under an invisibility cloak. But they were given away by their ankles that weren't properly covered, and, more importantly, by Mr. Malfoy who kept whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Prime example: "just…darlin'. I'm here." We all hope that this remains as concrete as it is now. Watch for this space for weekly updates. (Or daily-as we get them.)

The Hogwarts Tattler

Parvati Patil."

Hermione stared at everybody in the room. She tried to talk, but she could only make noises like a fish flapping on dry land. Harry and Ron looked at each other. Without a word, they removed cotton earplugs from their pockets and passed them around. Everybody put them on except Zabini who didn't know what to do with them and Draco who was so furious at what he'd just heard that he crushed them in his fists. Then it started…

"That goddamn conniving bleeding shit eating perverted retentive………………………."Hermione was on a roll. And the others had known that. All of them except Zabini who looked highly amused and Draco. Draco, whose ears were slowly turning a very lively shade of red. Who knew the bookworm had a sailor's mouth? Indeed, some of those words could even make a sailor blush. She was on full steam. On and on she went not even pausing for breath. Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen minutes. Draco's ears were now a nice shade of beetroot red. Finally, he got fed up. Not to mention his ears were burning something fierce. He walked up to her and pulled out his wand. "Silencio." He enunciated clearly. Harry and Ron were staring at him in a weird sort of fascination. Either he was very brave or he had the brain the size of a peanut. No one, absolutely no one ever stopped Hermione when she got this angry. They'd learnt that the hard way. Draco took her hand dragged her along g to the adjoining bathroom where he removed the spell "…and did you see the room, bare! What the hell were they thinking? Those bleeding imbeci…" the spell was back on she glared daggers at him. "That's better. Now, what on earth were you thinking? Who taught you such words? Do you want to get hexed? Idiot! Promise everybody here you will never use such words again. However angry you get." He removed the spell. "Who do you think you are? You…" "And here I was thinking you were clever. Obviously you don't understand if told once." he told the spell back on her. " It should never be told that I'm not a good teacher." He took liquid soap from the counter and proceeded to squirt it into her mouth. She spluttered glaring daggers at him and tried to get away from him. But he had a firm grip on her head and she couldn't get away. Then, he made her rinse her mouth and wipe it.

Ron who was remarkably very calm was restraining Harry from jumping at Malfoy. "That's much better. Now what the hell were u thinking? You think you got the raw end of the deal? What about me? I'm a slave, I'm not allowed into my house, I have to be a gryffindor for a whole month, any reputation I might have had is spoiled by that article I'm known as the son of a death eater even though I helped in the final war and, worst of all, Pansy Parkinson is lusting after me! And you have the almighty gall to go spewing a sewer off you mouth!" even though he'd removed the spell, they all were dumbstruck. Hermione was the first one to recover. She hexed him. Then she turned to the others ominously. "Malfoy and I need a little talk guys. Go out. I'll meet you later." There wasn't a murmur as they all filed out.

"Who the hell gave you permission to hex me? How is it even possible? And what was that crap about you being in a sorrier state than me? Don't forget that I have you as a slave to boot. ." "That's exactly why I'm the one who's so pathetic now. As for hexing you, it is possible because of the eminent professor Dobbius Doofus. A slave may correct his master in the manner he deems right if he feels that the master is straying." "Whatever. Now, go and decorate my room." Draco glared at her but went to do as she told him to anyway. 5 minutes later, he w3as finished. She looked at the room in horror. "What am I? A freaking axe murderer?" she demanded. The room was filled with macabre objects. There were posters of people being killed, tortured and various objects commonly used for torture. "Looks that way from where I'm standing." he remarked casually. " Anyhow, how am I supposed to know what your taste is?" "You'd better learn. Malfoy. I can't be teaching you everything. How did you do it so fast anyway?" "You just ask the room what you want. It does everything for you." In a matter of minutes, the room was redecorated. Without further arguments, they went into the common room and started doing their schoolwork.

In the slytherin, girl's dormitory, everything wasn't so calm. Pansy 's devious mind was being put to use. "Daphne…Psst Daphne."

She looked up. " I need your help. You know that gryffindor bookworm, Hermione, right?" Daphne Greengrass nodded. " She has wronged me. And I need your help in getting revenge on her." "You have proof that what she did to you was done deliberately?" "Of course. She stole Draco from me. She made him her slave against his wishes. Now she's not allowing him to meet me even though he wants to. She says that she enjoys watching us suffer. And what have we done to her? Nothing!" Daphne was known for such activities. If anyone needed revenge, she was the one to go to. Now that Daphne was satisfied, that pansy was telling the truth, they set down to hatching a plot to bring Granger down.

In the common room, neither was able to study. All of a sudden, both were more aware of the other. Draco, always the pretty boy, now had maturity to him that made him all the more devastating. His grey eyes now presented an enigma to Hermione where previously she'd always looked at them with such loathing. His lean yet muscular body had a cheetah like grace to it. On the whole, he justified the title of hogwarts rakehell. Hermione who'd shown her potential at the Yule ball in the fourth year now looked ravishing. Hers was a kind of beauty that simply haunted you. Elegant form, graceful posture and very tasteful dressing. Her face was simply beautiful. High cheekbones, arched eyebrows, honey brown eyes and full red lips. Not to mention the myriad hues of brown in her wavy hair. Overall, she made a simply ravishing package. Frustrated at this lack of concentration, Draco slammed his book down and stormed off to bed. In a few seconds, Hermione followed suit.

The next day dawned bright and clear. Both of them went to the classes without speaking to each other. By the end of he day, this forced muteness was getting onto their nerves. Draco was very thankful when their last class together got over and he could go off to quidditch practice. Hermione was making her way to he girl's bathroom when Daphne called out to her. " Granger, we need to talk to you… why have you made Draco you slave? And why aren't you allowing Draco to meet Parkinson?" she demanded. Before Hermione could answer, she was hit by a curse from behind. Shushing Daphne, pansy pulled her into moaning myrtle's bathroom and left her there. She was completely unable to move. Nor make any kind of noise. Talking so that Daphne couldn't hear, pansy said, "Thought you could steal my drakie, did you? That's not going to happen. We'll see how they find you after this charm." she performed an unplottable charm on her and left her lying there in the freezing water. In the quidditch pitch, Draco felt a faint twinge in his chest area.

A/n: sorry it so long guys. And sorry this chapter sucks. It was kind of an intermediate chappie. To connect things. Thanks a lot to lazyllama101. You made my day. Also to Hermione Jane g Malfoy, and everybody else. If you hear faint strains of "YOU ROCK MY WORLD", that's just me singing. Oh, and sorry for the cliffie.