The Lunacy of Lupin
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, all this stuff does not belong to me. Everything that is in any way related to Harry Potter or the Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling.
A/N: Partly due to my wish that Remus Lupin would go back and teach at Hogwarts (even though it's not going to happen) and partly just because I felt like it, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all seventeen. Call it strange, whatever, that's just the way it is, ok? The age really has nothing to do with the rest of the story anyway. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!
Chapter Two: Surf's Up!
"Bet you can't wait for today's Defense lesson, can you, Hermione?" Ron said teasingly. He was feeling loads better; Mrs. Weasley had sent him another owl saying she found out that the magazines were Fred's and George's, although Ron had told Harry it wasn't true. Most of them were his, he had said-- not that Harry had actually asked.
"Okay, so yesterday's lesson was a bit odd…." Hermione said.
"Though very relaxing," Harry countered, grinning. Hermione threw him a dirty look.
"Really, though," she continued, "Today's bound to be better, right? I mean, Professor Lupin'll come to his senses, I'm sure. But then again…." Images of the DADA professor in his loincloth came back to her and she shuddered. "Did either of you do your essay?" she asked, saving herself from those wretched pictures. Harry gaped at her like she was crazy.
"They're due Monday, Hermione, I think we'll be--" Ron began. But no one found out exactly what Harry and Ron would be, for their least favorite teacher chose that exact moment to step up.
"Silence in the back of the room!" Snape snarled at them. "You should not be talking when I am trying to give a decent lesson." Harry, Ron, and Hermione all jumped, but Snape went on. "Detention, all three of you! Let's see…. The only teacher free tonight is…. Lupin." Snape lingered on the name, smirked, and Harry knew he had heard about Professor Lupin's 'soul-searching journey'. They received their detentions quietly and remained so for the rest of the time they spent in the dungeon. They were only too glad to leave when at last, class had ended, but this feeling again changed when they opened Remus Lupin's classroom door.
There were lights hung from the ceiling like those of a tiki bar, the desks were moved back again and instead, lawn chairs were spread out in the room. Several large, bright-colored parrots were flying around. It was like Antigua had splashed all over their classroom. The floor had been covered ankle-deep in sand. They could hear seashore noises and Harry noticed a record labeled "Sounds of the Beach" playing. But by far the most conspicuous thing was the big palm tree that was taking the place of Lupin's desk. Sitting among the fluffy branches at the top, was their teacher.
He himself was brightly dressed. Although he had chosen to go shirtless again, he had donned lurid orange floral-print swimming trunks. His hair was combed back and rumpled up and he went barefoot. At seeing the members of his class arriving, he leapt lightly out of his tree, where he had been grading papers before and slipped on a pair of black flip-flops.
"All right, so what's up, dudes?" Professor Lupin said in an uncharacteristic surf-bum voice. Lavender Brown broke into a fit of giggles, but Lupin disregarded this.
"Kay, dudes, today we're gonna finish up the Dark Creatures unit with manticores, which are these righteously awesome things…." Lupin carried on in this manner for a while, and then Hermione raised her hand.
"Yeah, dude?" her professor said, giving her the "hang loose" sign. "Er…Professor Snape we had a detention with you later, um…. Dude," she said. Harry had encouraged her to tack on that last word. Lupin looked utterly baffled then slowly began shaking his head up and down.
"Right!" he finally shouted exuberantly. "I totally remember that, dude! Kay, just show up here at, like, seven-thirty and we'll get started, man." But Harry, Ron, and Hermione had frozen. They had never, ever heard Professor Lupin say "like" in a teenager-y way before. Lavender even stopped giggling for loss of voice. Of course, Lupin took no notice of this. He went on "dude"-ing in that foreign surf-bum voice until the end of class. "By the way, dudes," he added as the students gathered their things, "that essay about erumpents--those are awesome, but anyway-- is gonna be due tomorrow now, kay?" The students murmured assent. At the door, Harry turned around, gave the "hang loose" signal again, and Lupin returned it. As he walked away, Harry could've sworn he heard Lupin say, "Gotta try something different, man, these shoes are all-out weird…." Harry fought down his laughter and made his way to Gryffindor Tower. It was going to be one strange detention….
Slightly longer than chapter one. If you liked it or have a suggestion for other chapters, send a review. I'll be happy to have some feedback! Next chapter will probably be very short; it's about the detention that night. Bless your penguins and flamingos, uraniumbombz.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, all this stuff does not belong to me. Everything that is in any way related to Harry Potter or the Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling.
A/N: Partly due to my wish that Remus Lupin would go back and teach at Hogwarts (even though it's not going to happen) and partly just because I felt like it, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all seventeen. Call it strange, whatever, that's just the way it is, ok? The age really has nothing to do with the rest of the story anyway. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!
Chapter Two: Surf's Up!
"Bet you can't wait for today's Defense lesson, can you, Hermione?" Ron said teasingly. He was feeling loads better; Mrs. Weasley had sent him another owl saying she found out that the magazines were Fred's and George's, although Ron had told Harry it wasn't true. Most of them were his, he had said-- not that Harry had actually asked.
"Okay, so yesterday's lesson was a bit odd…." Hermione said.
"Though very relaxing," Harry countered, grinning. Hermione threw him a dirty look.
"Really, though," she continued, "Today's bound to be better, right? I mean, Professor Lupin'll come to his senses, I'm sure. But then again…." Images of the DADA professor in his loincloth came back to her and she shuddered. "Did either of you do your essay?" she asked, saving herself from those wretched pictures. Harry gaped at her like she was crazy.
"They're due Monday, Hermione, I think we'll be--" Ron began. But no one found out exactly what Harry and Ron would be, for their least favorite teacher chose that exact moment to step up.
"Silence in the back of the room!" Snape snarled at them. "You should not be talking when I am trying to give a decent lesson." Harry, Ron, and Hermione all jumped, but Snape went on. "Detention, all three of you! Let's see…. The only teacher free tonight is…. Lupin." Snape lingered on the name, smirked, and Harry knew he had heard about Professor Lupin's 'soul-searching journey'. They received their detentions quietly and remained so for the rest of the time they spent in the dungeon. They were only too glad to leave when at last, class had ended, but this feeling again changed when they opened Remus Lupin's classroom door.
There were lights hung from the ceiling like those of a tiki bar, the desks were moved back again and instead, lawn chairs were spread out in the room. Several large, bright-colored parrots were flying around. It was like Antigua had splashed all over their classroom. The floor had been covered ankle-deep in sand. They could hear seashore noises and Harry noticed a record labeled "Sounds of the Beach" playing. But by far the most conspicuous thing was the big palm tree that was taking the place of Lupin's desk. Sitting among the fluffy branches at the top, was their teacher.
He himself was brightly dressed. Although he had chosen to go shirtless again, he had donned lurid orange floral-print swimming trunks. His hair was combed back and rumpled up and he went barefoot. At seeing the members of his class arriving, he leapt lightly out of his tree, where he had been grading papers before and slipped on a pair of black flip-flops.
"All right, so what's up, dudes?" Professor Lupin said in an uncharacteristic surf-bum voice. Lavender Brown broke into a fit of giggles, but Lupin disregarded this.
"Kay, dudes, today we're gonna finish up the Dark Creatures unit with manticores, which are these righteously awesome things…." Lupin carried on in this manner for a while, and then Hermione raised her hand.
"Yeah, dude?" her professor said, giving her the "hang loose" sign. "Er…Professor Snape we had a detention with you later, um…. Dude," she said. Harry had encouraged her to tack on that last word. Lupin looked utterly baffled then slowly began shaking his head up and down.
"Right!" he finally shouted exuberantly. "I totally remember that, dude! Kay, just show up here at, like, seven-thirty and we'll get started, man." But Harry, Ron, and Hermione had frozen. They had never, ever heard Professor Lupin say "like" in a teenager-y way before. Lavender even stopped giggling for loss of voice. Of course, Lupin took no notice of this. He went on "dude"-ing in that foreign surf-bum voice until the end of class. "By the way, dudes," he added as the students gathered their things, "that essay about erumpents--those are awesome, but anyway-- is gonna be due tomorrow now, kay?" The students murmured assent. At the door, Harry turned around, gave the "hang loose" signal again, and Lupin returned it. As he walked away, Harry could've sworn he heard Lupin say, "Gotta try something different, man, these shoes are all-out weird…." Harry fought down his laughter and made his way to Gryffindor Tower. It was going to be one strange detention….
Slightly longer than chapter one. If you liked it or have a suggestion for other chapters, send a review. I'll be happy to have some feedback! Next chapter will probably be very short; it's about the detention that night. Bless your penguins and flamingos, uraniumbombz.