Connie scrolled through her phone with regret, reading the texts Steven had recently sent her.
Guess I should stop asking you about lunch, you must be having it with someone else all the time!
The gems don't eat though, right? Or maybe you wanna be alone, that's ok too.
I'm gonna be outta town for a few days with dad to get some sponges, can we meet up after that?
The girl put her phone in her pocket with a sigh. She then continued to read the first book of the Spirit Morph saga. She'd decided to reread the series for the 5 time, now including the new ones the Temps had forced/asked the author to make. It wasn't much of a distraction but it beat reading the sad texts and her eventual response to them.
"U-Uh, honey? Help!"
Connie didn't hear him, her eyes narrowed as she was busy concentrating. She wouldn't allow herself to hear anything, especially not the text tone.
"Honey!"
Connie gasped in shock, hearing boxes of files tumble to the ground. She quickly helped clean up the boxes and files at the station with worry. "I'm so sorry, I was so focused on something else, I completely ignored your feelings and needs and I-!"
"It's just files, honey." Doug laughed, ruffling her now short hair.
"Right." Connie whispered, looking down. Suddenly, her phone chimed and she took it out with worry. There was a text from Ronaldo about their favorite shared manga, giving extreme spoilers about the main character's long lost sister, but what was more important was Steven's text.
I must be getting annoying, sorry :(
She clicked it shut with a sigh, making her father notice.
"Sweetheart, is everything alright?"
"No."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"No… Y-You wouldn't get it. Thanks, though." She kissed her father goodbye before sadly walking off.
Her father watched her and wondered what to do.
Connie had set her book down and was writing the 12th draft of her apology to Steven when the door opened, revealing her father and the gems holding bags and bags of food.
"Connie! We got groceries!" Doug called.
"Oh, thank you, but Friday is my grocery day."
They all were still smiling at her, not batting an eye.
"...And that was yesterday, so it's full." Connie ended, hopping down onto the couch.
"You know what fridge isn't full? The one at our vacation home!" Doug announced, he and the gems all posing triumph, as if they'd solved a problem.
"Doug came up with the idea!" Peridot announced.
"Uh, we all did." Jasper added on, making the tiny gem glare at her. She tried to say that wasn't true and to not take Doug's credit but Jasper put a giant hand over her face.
"I found this beautiful little ranch in the woods, and I decided to rent it out for the weekend, for a vacation!" Doug announced again. "When I was your age, my my dad and I used to rent out the place!"
"I can't go." Connie immediately said. "I'm busy."
"With what?" Lapis asked, flying up into her room. She leaned over the paper Connie was writing on and the girl panicked, knowing Lapis would be the most disgusted at her actions. She grabbed the paper and shoved it into Lapis' wings, making her nearly fall in shock.
"Oh! Where's coordinated Connie today?" Connie laughed nervously. Lapis picked the girl up with a roll of her eyes and flew her down to the others.
"We are going to have a blast! Not into space, mind you!" Peridot cried, hugging the girl while she looked incredibly upset. "We are going to have a good time, on the ground, where only the family that isn't trying to kill you is!"
"Come on, kiddo, it'll be super fun! There's gonna be a lotta trees there, good training practice, right?" Jasper grunted with a smile, trying to think of something that would entice the girl.
"And I heard there's a hot tub!" Lapis then smirked. "Peri and I can make it a flying hot tub!"
"You'll break it." Connie grunted at once. Suddenly, her phone went off and she checked it to see a text from Steven.
I miss you.
"... Let's go."
"Da-da-da-da!" Doug called out in the tune of Connie's favorite video game. "We're here!"
Connie glanced up from her phone to see a small ranch house with a sign above it. She deleted a draft of text before starting up another one. She slowly got out of the car and glanced up from only a moment to see Jasper hauling in a nearly overflowing box. "Are those… all my books?" Connie asked in slight shock.
"I know you already packed a series but we just wanted to make sure you had everything you needed!" Doug explained. "Including your family!"
"That's sweet."
He glanced over to see she was back to typing on her phone.
"Isn't this such a pretty place?" Doug breathed in the fresh air. "And this is just the outside! This place has a fridge that dispenses water, four windows, and an analog clock! What do you say we break that baby open and see if we can rebuild it, huh?"
Connie nodded, searching up the best apologies in cinema history. "Sounds good…"
"The clock is broken, the water dispenser is as well, and the windows… heh…" Peridot grunted and after a few moments of constration the rusty windows opened. "Aha! They can open, just not to weaklings like Doug. So it isn't all bad news."
Doug laughed a bit, knowing Peridot didn't mean to hurt him this time.
"The news keeps getting better! I met some new friends already!" Lapis announced, running up.
Connie and Doug exchanges looks of suprise. None of the Temps were very friendly with humans, but maybe Lapis was stepping out a bit?
"Come in and meet everyone!" Lapis smiled.
"Peridot, they like it in there!"
"For the last time, we are not keeping fishes in the house, Lazuli!"
The woman gave a grumble and looked back to her homemade floating aquarium.
Connie was sitting in the dark as her father made dinner, staring at her phone. Steven hadn't texted at all, he probably was waiting for her to respond since there had been a million typing alerts from her end. She just didn't know what to say.
"Lapis, do you mind…?" Doug asked, nodding over to the girl.
Lapis winced. "I'm bad at this though!"
"Give it a shot!"
Lapis sat down next to Connie before patting in between her legs. The girl put her phone away and did so, like they used to when she was little. She rose the rectangle of water up to the campfire light so she could see. "You haven't asked me anything about my fish friends. They're so much more interesting than you tonight!"
"Sorry." Connie whispered.
Lapis bit her lip, that was meant to be a joke. She suddenly pointed to one big orange fish. "Look at that tough guy."
Connie glanced up and didn't look amused.
Lapis then pointed to a tiny green one that kept bumping the orange fish as if wanting it to stop a blue one from swimming circles around her. "Those two don't get along very well… and that orange one just looks mad at them."
Connie's eyes were drawn the smallest fish of the bunch, a little yellow one with fancy fins. It swam down to the bottom in curiosity before it suddenly went too far, falling out.
"Oh no!" Lapis gasped in shock while the other fish suddenly swam to the bottom, looking incredibly worried for their youngest.
Connie gently grabbed the flipping fish and placed it back in.
The three older all surrounded her in protection.
"It's pretty cool that tiny fish managed to bring them all together like that, huh? They need her, she keeps them together!"
Connie was back on her phone again.
Lapis looked at her and then back at the yellow fish who swam teasingly away from her family that chased her. The blue caught her and they hugged. "...She must've been really scared when she fell out… but she has her family with her, and she can tell them whatever she was scared of, and they'll make sure it'll go away."
"That's nice for her, I guess." Connie mumbled, still not watching.
Lapis sighed before looking back to Doug with regret.
Later that night, Connie sat in her set room in the cabin, and was still typing when there was a knock at her door.
"Kiddo? Can I come in?"
"Sure…"
Jasper entered to see the girl still typing. She sat down next to her, making the girl lean into her once the bed sunk under her weight. "Do you want to fight me?"
Connie looked up with utter confusion and turned to her. "What?"
"You just look stressed out and… I dunno, thought you might wanna take it out on someone. I don't know if you know this, but I am great with emotions."
Jasper smiled slightly at her joke but Connie still looked sad.
She slowly made Connie put the phone down and bent down to her level. "Connie…"
Connie stared at her.
"Fight me."
Connie gave a scream, pouncing at Jasper before she was thrown off.
"So, what's been going on in that head of yours?!"
Connie nearly didn't dodge a swift punch in wondering if she should tell the gem. "Nothing really!"
"Are you mad at someone?" Jasper asked, flipping back to avoid Connie's powers.
"What? No, no, it's not like that-!"
"It's okay, Pink Diamond's a terrible gem. She deserves your anger!" The elder cried. "Even back when I first emerged, I knew my leader was a monster."
"Is that true? Or was she just turned into one?"
Jasper paused and turned to her in surprise.
"Maybe it wasn't her fault… Maybe it was her… my mother who did it? Betraying her, shattering Blue Diamond, leaving her to rule an empire all alone…" Connie then shook her head. What was she thinking? She hadn't inherited the wish to fuse like that, it was all her. She had no one else to blame. "Then again, it probably was all her."
Connie deleted her text yet again while sitting on the porch after lunch. That draft was terrible too. She wanted to say two simple things… Why was it so hard?
"Please, you have to try!"
The girl snuck over to the door and peeked in through the screen door.
"But she won't talk to us about it." Lapis sighed with worry, Jasper grimaced but then nodded.
"It has to be some girl thing, right? No… it's a gem thing, she would tell me about anything else… She must've seen some traumatic things on Homeworld, and only you guys would know about Homeworld! What did you guys do to get it out of your head?"
Lapis bowed her head. "I was only made on Homeworld, told what I had to do, given extra strength, but I never formed there."
"I never saw much of it either, only had a few days and then Pink Diamond wanted to check on Earth, and you guys know what happened." Jasper shrugged.
They looked to Peridot who quickly backed away.
"I don't know what Homeworld is like anymore! Sure I remember all that bad stuff but… I never got over it!" Peridot insisted. "How can I help Connie do that?"
"Peridot, I don't think she'll ever be over it, she just needs to talk about it." Doug whispered.
Lapis nodded. "You're the only one who can tell her what she needs to know."
"No, I'm not!" Peridot cried in shock quite loudly.
They all looked confused.
"I mean, I'm sure someone else can do it…"
"We've already tried, sorry, but it's on you now. Jasper grunted. "We gotta fix our kid."
Peridot sighed but then nodded.
Connie ran away from the door and got back on the porch just in time for Peridot to come out.
"Connie, can we talk…?" Peridot whispered, Connie nodded. She sat beside her. "I know something's wrong… but I don't know what. If I promise I will be quiet and won't do anything afterwards… will you tell me what it is?"
"It's just…" Connie whispered, curling up on herself. "Have you ever had something you wanted to tell someone more than anything in the world? Like, it hurts everytime you think of them… because you know you've been holding that thing back, and you know once you talk about that thing, nothing's going to be the same again? They'll look at you different because… because they trusted you but-!"
Peridot suddenly hugged Connie, pulling her close. She had tears running down her cheeks as she gripped the girl tightly. "I know exactly what you mean. S-So you heard me before you left Earth, didn't you? When I said-"
"I almost forced Steven to fuse with me…!" Connie choked.
"You what?!" Peridot pushed her back and the girl held back her sobs while the other gems and her father revealed they were there as well, their mouths agape.
"Do you… Do you guys still love me?" The girl shook, looking terrified that the others were also there. "You can ground me forever, burn all my books, any punishment you want, I deserve it! Please, please don't hate me!"
"Connie…!" Jasper whispered, walking forward.
The girl flinched away in fear and got up at once, running away in tears.
Connie sat up in a tree, sobbing quietly as she read through Steven's texts.
"Honey? You up there?"
Connie sniffled a bit and climbed a bit higher. "... Did the Temps send you to give me my punishment..?"
"Nah, we don't need Doug to do that." Jasper said, making Connie look down. She buried her head in her knees. "Kiddo, y-you know I'm not gonna hurt you… right?"
Connie nodded slowly. "It's just… You wanted to hurt Peridot for tricking you into fusion, and when you thought Steven forced it, you were gonna hurt him. I know you'd never hurt me… but I'm still scared…"
"Can you come down?" Peridot whispered.
Connie shook her head.
"Can we come up?" Lapis asked.
Connie shook her head again.
Doug and the gems decided to sit around the tree then and wait.
"You guys taught and showed me how horrible a forced fusion could be ever since I learned about fusions… Maliciate, Sugilite, all those experiences and it was like I learned nothing! I just wanted it so bad… I need- I wanted Stevonnie's strength to stop Fluorite and save you guys…! And I almost forced him to go through so much pain and torment like Lapis had to…"
Jasper flinched but Lapis gently squeezed her hand, telling her they were better now.
"And what if Stevonnie became more themself than us, and wanted to stay themself like Malachite did? They could hurt everyone we cared about to stay like that… Or I could've forced them to do that… I would be hurting Steven, Stevonnie, everybody involved."
"But it didn't happen." Lapis reminded her. "You realized what you were doing and stopped yourself from doing it."
"But I could've-!"
"You would never do that, Connie." Jasper suddenly grunted loudly. She looked up to see Connie looking down at her. "Gems who forced fusion, like Garnet and me, did it because they were selfish and weak… but you're neither of those things."
"That is correct! Besides, you were in a very stressful situation and unfortunately, we trained you since you were small to keep fighting, no matter what happened to anyone involved." Peridot reminded her of the training where they wouldn't stop until the gem was near the point of poofing under the strain or in Connie's situation, til she was about to collapse from exhaustion. "... We shouldn't have done that. We should've let you know that you didn't have to save us, that you always come above us in those situations-"
"Because I'm Yellow Diam-"
"Because you're our kid. If anything bad were to happen to you, we wouldn't know what to do."
Connie sniffed, curling up a bit. "Don't you get it? I'm the same way about you guys and dad! I would've nearly done it no matter what you told me. And now… how can I face Steven?!"
"We don't know.." Lapis sighed. "But you have to. He deserves to know what was going on in your head, and that he did nothing wrong. It wasn't his fault you turned yourself in, or we got hurt, or whatever's he's thinking. You have to swear to him you'll be better and you'll do everything in your power for that not to happen again. That's what he needs to hear right now, trust me on that."
"But I don't know what to say to him…"
"That's okay, it's tricky to know what to say at your age, especially with all the…feelings you have going on." Doug muttered, frowning slightly. He sighed, thinking of his past. "Don't leave him thinking he did something wrong if he didn't. That kind of weight can kill someone."
Connie glanced down at her phone and then gasped. "I know exactly what to say! W-We need cell service, NOW!"
Doug hit the gas while Lapis had Connie on her back at the car's side.
"Go right!" Connie ordered, seeing her cell service go up.
Lapis did so and the car turned with her.
"Back up…"
Lapis did so.
"Nope, keep going!"
They kept going until they were approaching a cliff.
"Up!" Connie cried.
Lapis did so and the car stopped on the edge of the cliff.
Connie finally had full bars and gave a sigh of relief. She then typed out a response very quickly and sent it, leading to an anticlimactic slurp sound as it sent.
Lapis took her down to the ground and her family gathered around excitedly to see what she'd wrote.
"That is very honest…" Peridot whispered.
Lapis nodded. "Pretty bold, Connie."
"I think it's perfect." Doug smiled.
Jasper squinted as if she couldn't believe it and then gave a groan. "Is that seriously it?! We drove all the way up here for that?!"
Connie smirked, turning to Jasper. "You want Steven and me to be together deep down, don't you?"
"Yeah, why else would you want a long and mushy text?" Lapis giggled while the family all sat down on the grass to see the stars. Slowly, Lapis' fish collection also came up to the spot, making Peridot gag in confusion and annoyance on why she'd bring them up there.
"Shut it, you." Jasper ruffled Lapis' hair and let her and Peridot lean against her.
Doug wrapped his arm around his daughter as she sat between him and the gems, smiling brightly.
Connie glanced back at the text with a small smile before clicking it off. It read:
Miss you too. I'll see you ASAP, promise.